2. Jack stared at the tombstone in his yard: Here Lies Erik Darling, the Greatest
Husband Ever R.I.P. One of the man’s eyebrows stood up, as if off it’s own
accord. This would not do, the reminder of the woman’s deceased husband will
have to go. Jack picked up the tombstone easily, tossed in the trunk of the car
and climbed in.
3. Jack muttered manically on the drive, for the most part trying to figure out
what the reason was for the shrine in the front yard. Erik was dead, gone, no
more and soon Agnes will be joining him. But not for a while.
4. Presently, the woman was useful. Jack realized this as they lay cuddled together
on their wedding night. He had taken in the scent of her, roses and lilac, the feel
of her body, soft and warm against his. Although he hated to admit it, he
enjoyed having Agnes around. As long as she was useful she would live, after
all, he was already married to her, without a prenup or a will he owned all of
her possessions.
5. When he arrived at the cemetery, he reminded himself again not to get attached to the
woman. To remember that her job was to keep the house and pleasure him, these
were all he needed her for. As he dropped the tombstone in a corner of the graveyard
Jack scolded himself for his earlier thoughts.
6. Despite his plans though, Jack got caught up in all the emotions and sensations
of being a newly wed. It was hard not to with his hopeless-romantic wife. For
three months the pair swooned over each other, but all good things must come
to an end.
7. “Maybe I’m pregnant.” Agnes was saying to her sister as she climbed out of bed and
prepared to go downstairs to make breakfast for her husband. She had no idea where
Jack was but figured he was probably somewhere reading. They had realized early on that
they both shared a love for books. “I mean, I’ve been throwing up for about a week now.”
Cornelia babbled excitedly on the other end of the phone causing her younger sister to
chuckle.
8. “Morning honey.” Jack strode in from the dining room where he’d been reading. As he
strode past his wife his eyebrows knitted together. “Are you baking cookies?” Agnes
nodded but didn’t reply. Jack shrugged, for the past couple weeks Agnes’ eating habits
had become rather strange, but he thought nothing of it. Maybe she always ate hot
dogs and ice cream, he was still getting to know her.
9. Agnes threw up her breakfast into the toilet for the seventh day in a row. She had
finally figured out what was wrong with her and she was ecstatic, she and Erik had
planned their life together, it involved five children and a dog and when he
died, Agnes thought she had lost her chance at ever having a baby.
10. As it turns out, Agnes was in fact pregnant. She stood in the nursery which was started
before she and Erik even got married. Soon enough there would be a baby to put in
there. She frowned at the thought of her husband, it had been a month and he still
hadn’t figured out that she was pregnant, she didn’t want to come right out and tell
him, she wanted him to ask so they could be excited together. Agnes decided to
continue dropping hints, she had a good idea how, this time he was sure to get it.
11. Jack always read in the dining room, after a full day of watching TV, he decided that
maybe it was time to do something more productive and went downstairs. As he
entered the dining room he frowned at the two books on the table. Picking one
up, Jack’s jaw dropped slightly in disbelief, he picked up the second one and shouted
for Agnes.
12. Jack shouted again and picked up one of the books, he marched purposfully out of
the dining room only to pause in the living room remembering that Agnes was out
with her sister. Frustrated Jack went upstairs and dropped into one of the chairs in
front of the TV, the argument will just have to wait for tomorrow, after all, when
Agnes and Cornelia got together they forgot all about time.
13. The next morning Jack cornered his wife in the living room, for the first time he noticed
the bump in her stomach. “The hell is that?” He demanded.
“I’m pregnant.” Agnes looked at him confused.
“You can’t be pregnant!” Jack shrieked and went off on the poor woman who was too
shocked to argue back. “I hate children, I have no idea how to take care of them. They
cry, they whine, they’re always leaking from somewhere. I hope you’re not expecting
me to take care of it.” Soon Jack had started a full out rant.
14. “I didn’t get pregnant on my own Jack!” Agnes shouted back with as much ferocity as he
had given her. Never one to back down, Jack stuck a finger in his ear that had begun
hurting at how loudly his wife had shouted. “What is wrong with you? This is your child
as much as it is mine, how dare you say that you do not wish to be in its life?”
15. “I don’t like children Agnes, never have, never will.” Jack shot back. “I thought you
were on birth control or something.”
Agnes raised an eyebrow. “Why would I have to be? Erik died, I wasn’t sleeping with
anyone and you came and swept me off my feet so quickly I wasn’t even able to think
clearly, this baby is coming whether you like it or not.”
16. “Fine. But don’t expect me to wake up at three in the morning to tend to it. In fact, just
keep it away from me period. This whole thing is your fault.” Jack walked away from
Agnes still hollering about how he hated children.
17. That night, Jack had gotten up to pee, when he came back he met Agnes standing
beside the bed.
“The baby’s coming.” She said matter-of-factly then doubled over in pain.
“What do you mean the baby’s coming?” Jack shouted and backed up against the
wall, he had no idea what to do and seeing Agnes in so much pain frightened him. In
his panic there was a thought that maybe this would kill her and he wouldn’t have to
do any of the hard work himself.
18. “Arg!!!” Agnes shouted. “Go bring the car around.”
“Bring the…no! I-I-…” Jack flung his hands on his head, he was so worked up that he
couldn’t even think straight. This was yet another reason why he hated children, a
person putting themselves through so much agony just for a baby made no sense to
him.
19. In the end it was Agnes who managed to stay calm through the whole
ordeal, despite it being her first child. It was Agnes who brought the car around and
piled her husband and luggage in, then drove off to the hospital.