1. Review of
the All-new
Volvo S60
It rolls”
Watch it, Pal
Checking the Top Tickers
Oregon
Gets
SAVAGEAn Exclusive Interview
with Jill Savage
Review
Lighter Cocktails
of the NW
+
issue 004 // october 2010 // $4.95
Vampire Movies
that Don’t Suck
3. porcelli’s
Ristorante & bar
Classic Italian Comfort Food
¦
breakfast lunch & dinner
open 9am to 9pm
outdoor dining
food specials 3-6pm daily
6500 sw virginia
corner of nebraska and virginia
one block west of macadam
503-245-2260
10/
19/
20
10
Don’t Over Pack
1 bag, 1 pair of jeans, and 7
different shirts. Go on a weeklong
trip without over packing.
Booze Hounds
A Review of Lighter Cocktails.
The All-Might iPad
A review of the Apple’s iPad:
Is owning one worth it?
Ruining the Fantasy
How Fantasy Football hasn’t so
much made fans a part of the game,
it’s just distracting us from it.
COVE R
Photo in Lake
Oswego shot by
Daniel Evans.
Music Review
6 progressive albums are
reviewed.
A Century of Vampires
That Don’t Suck
A look at each decade of last
century and what are the best
Vampire movies.
Rollin’ With the All-New
Volvo S60
We roll the all-new Volvo S60
around Oregon
Comet in Retrograde
“Resto-modding” a ‘71 Mercury Comet
Editors Choice
2011 Lamborghini Gallardo LP 570-4
Blancpain Edition
The Incredible Shrinking
Middle Class
A look at today’s economy.
Political Satire
A lighthearted take on a few of
this years high profile election
campaigns.
Oregon Gets Savage
Having a passion for sports
instilled by your father might be
enough for some people, Jill Savage
wanted more and is getting it with
broadcasting.
Watch it, Pal
The five coolest watches in the
world at any price range.
6
8
20
14
27
10
33
18
35
41
39
45
48
4. A D M I N I S T R A T I V E S T A F F
PRESIDENT Chris Osaka
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Mark Matson
DIRECTOR OF ADVERTISING Nick Whited
ADVERTISING DESIGNER Jessica Kirkpatrick
ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE Joseph Faltyn
WEB DEVELOPMENT Randy Kirkpatrick
C O N T A C T
Haberdashers Magazine, LLC
310 N State St. #108
Lake Oswego, OR 97034
EMAIL magazine@haberdashersonline.com
PHONE 971.206.0002
TWITTER @Haberdashers
S T O R E L O C A T I O N S
HABERDASHERS Men’s Shop
Bridgeport Village
7453 SW Bridgeport Road
Tigard, OR 97224
PHONE 503.748.1582
EMAIL bpv@haberdashersonline.com
HABERDASHERS Men’s Shop
Lake View Village
310 N State St. #108
Lake Oswego, OR 97034
PHONE 971.206.0002
EMAIL lvv@haberdashersonline.com
To advertise in Haberdashers Magazine
email at ads@haberdashersonline.com
For HABERDASHERS Men’s Shops franchise information
email at franchise@haberdashersonline.com
C R E A T I V E S T A F F
EDITOR IN CHIEF Nick Jaynes
MANAGING EDITOR Peter Barna
ASSOCIATE EDITOR John Swanson
DESIGNER Jessica Kirkpatrick
WRITER Robert Ham
WRITER Peter Braun
WRITER Matt Ediger
WRITER John Bohlmann
PHOTOGRAPHER Daniel Evans
ILLUSTRATOR John Bohlmann
C O N T R I B U T O R S
M. Apeel
Nick Cummings
Manvil Media, LLC is a Portland-based media
conglomerate dedicated to furthering the causes of
men and manly things.
Manvil Media
We’ll make a man out of anyone.
EMAIL manvilmedia@gmail.com
The Clark-Nimm Realty Group
- clark-nimm@kw.com -
Rick Clark, Broker 503-927-5221
Brenda Nimm, Broker 503-422-5185
Experience. The Difference.
We specialize in selling Green Certified New Vintage homes available in Arbor Lodge, University Park,
Woodstock, Sellwood, Overlook and many other close in neighborhoods. We are dedicated to the
development of long-term client relationships and our plan is to always exceed our customer’s
expectations. Whether you’re looking to buy or sell a home - Call us for impeccable service!
5. E D I T O R ’ S L E T T E R
Dear Reader,
Welcome to the October addition of Haberdashers magazine. Fall is upon us and
with it comes shorter days and colder weather. The extravagances of summer are
behind us and it’s time to pare down your life for the up-coming winter.
This month we’ve got some really excellent stories for you. In our cover story,
Peter Barna brings us an exclusive profile of local Sportscaster Jill Savage (Oregon
Gets Savage). We’ve brought back an old favorite but with a twist. Our former
“Drink of the Month” has been transformed with the help of M. Apeel and now
encompasses four lighter cocktails drinks (Booze Hound).
Fall is the perfect time to start a new project in the garage. Matt Ediger explores
the trials and tribulations of resto-modding a 1971 Mercury Comet (Comet in
Retrograde). To help you pare down your electronic accessories, we have a review
of the iPad (The Almighty iPad).
Football season is upon us and so is fantasy football. John Swanson explores how
fantasy football is killing the art of watching football (Ruining the Fantasy).
Last month I had the fortune of being invited to the 2011 Volvo S60 press launch
event in Newberg, Oregon. I spent several days rolling the S60 around Oregon and
I have written a review (Rollin’ in the All-New Volvo S60).
Vampire movies have become wildly popular again but most aren’t so good. So
John Bohlmann waded through the mire to bring us the best Vampire movies of
the last century (A Century of Vampires that Don’t Suck). For you music fans,
Robert Ham has written a review of six new progressive albums (Music Review).
When you’re outdoors this fall, you’ll need a good timepiece, no matter the
activity. John Swanson has combed the corners of the earth to bring you the five
coolest watches in any price range (Watch It, Pal).
Lastly, Peter Braun delves once again into the current financial situation (The
Incredible Shrinking Middle Class).
We had a blast putting this month’s Haberdashers together. I hope you enjoy it.
Sincerely,
Nick Jaynes
Editor in Chief
Fall Collection 2010
exclusively at HABERDASHERS
Lake Oswego | Tigard
6. the french 75
2 oz. gin
¾ oz. freshly squeezed lemon juice
2 tsp. sugar or 1 tsp. simple syrup
Champagne {omit sugar if using a sweeter bubbly}
Shake gin, lemon juice, and sugar with ice, and strain
into a champagne flute or saucer. Top up the glass
with the champagne. Garnish with a lemon twist and
cherry. I like to bring the chilled bottle of champagne
to the table to top up the glasses as needed.
when to enjoy
While wearing a tuxedo.
Northwest Journal of Cocktails M. Apeel
japanese cocktail
2 oz. brandy
¼ oz. of orgeat {almond } syrup
¼ oz. freshly squeezed lime juice
1 dash Angostura Bitters
Shake and strain into a cocktail glass.
when to enjoy
Though nothing can replace your “usual,” this drink packs a good
punch and leaves you wanting another taste. Best put, this is the
drink to drink when you are dry.
daiquiri {on the rocks}
2 oz. white or light rum {or aged rum, or gold rum,
or, hell, even dark rum will do in a pinch}
½ oz. freshly squeezed lime juice
½ oz. sugar or π oz. simple syrup
Start with sugar or syrup in your shaker and add lime
juice. Muddle or stir the mixture to dissolve any crys-
tals. Add ice and rum, shake and strain into an old fash-
ioned glass over fresh ice. Garnish with lime wedge, wheel,
cherry, or just leave it plain.
when to enjoy
All the time. Don’t let this drink’s reputation fool you. The clas-
sic daiquiri has as little in common with the strawberry, banana,
or mango incarnations as the Martini does with the Chocotini,
Appletini or any other bastardization of a classic.
the phillips driver
1 ½ oz. Campari
4 oz. freshly squeezed orange juice
Shake ingredients with ice and strain into an old fashioned
glass over fresh ice. Garnish with an orange wheel.
when to enjoy
At brunch in place of grapefruit juice.
Story & Photos by M. Apeel
Booze
Hound:
review of
lighter cocktails
september 2010 | | haberdashers7
7. MUSIC Review
Wow & Flutter
Equilibrio!
Mt. Fuji
The creative renaissance for this long-running Portland band continues to dole out sonic
rewards with this new album (the band’s first for a new label). The trio’s lean, muscular
rock is sharply offset by lilting moments such as the gorgeous showpiece “Half a Beast”
and the high-wire melodies that drives “Scars”. Elsewhere they bristle and snarl with
Krautrock precision and razor wire guitar noise wrenched from the hands of front man
Cord Amato.
Sufjan Stevens
The Age of Adz
Asthmatic Kitty
The project to record an album for each of the 50 states has either been put on hold or
abandoned completely. But that hasn’t capped the creative wellspring of our modern
era’s Van Dyke Parks. Instead, he’s invested his influx of cash in vintage modular
synthesizers, letting their warbles and wows run like rivulets through his far-reaching
pop. Full marks for having the gumption to challenge his new fans with “Impossible
Soul,” a 25 minute epic that turns from ambient wanderings to cosmic hoedown before
you know what hit you.
Belle & Sebastian
Write About Love
Matador
You had to know that the good times couldn’t last forever. After a nearly spotless 15
years of recordings, everyone’s favorite Scottish popsters finally stumble out of the gate.
Their eighth full-length finds them trying to reconcile the varying eras of the band - the
twee kids of If You’re Feeling Sinister, the stylistic hopping of The Life Pursuit, and
leader Stuart Murdoch’s recent solo endeavor - with appropriately jumbled results.
Joe Morris
Camera
ESP-Disk
At the age of 55, virtuoso guitarist Morris is a relative pup in the jazz world. Yet, like
most still young players, he has ability well beyond his years. Leading his own quartet
on this album, Morris sidles through these six improvisations with fire to spare. His
blistering lines bounce and ping off of Katt Hernandez’s sweeping violin lines and the
never restful drumming of longtime musical partner Luther Gray. Morris also knows
when to take a back seat, letting Hernandez and cellist Junko Fujiwara Simons have the
lead role in the lucid “Patterns On Faces”.
Amusement
Parks on Fire
Road Eyes
Filter U.S.
If this band is unfamiliar, you do well to get to know them soon. Once this record hits
the streets, they will be the group everyone is talking about. Indebted as they are to
the heat waves of overdriven guitar noise reminiscent of so much rock music from their
native U.K., APOF recorded this album in California, lending it a more laid back tone
than their more urgent earlier work. But as the boisterous tracks “Raphael” and “Wave
of the Future” prove, there’s still plenty of petrol left in their tank.
Kelley Stoltz
To Dreamers
Sub Pop
He has been coaxing some brilliant work out of a number of fellow San Franciscan
groups (Thee Oh Sees and The Fresh & Onlys, among them) for the past few years, but
has let his own musical efforts collect dust. Now that he’s taken his guitar off the shelf,
it’s time to start leveling some praise his direction. Garage pop rarely sparkles and
jangles this well, but over the course of these 13 songs, Stoltz drives that point home one
sun-drenched melody and punchy guitar line after another. He asks early on, “Do You
Wanna Rock & Roll With Me?” The answer is a resounding “Yes.”
Story by Robert Ham
1000 liquors
500 beers
300 wines
100 cigars
We couldn’t decide either,
so we got it all.
decisions
decisions
decisions
nw 9th + lovejoy pearl district
p 503.477.8604 www.pearlspecialty.com
hours Monday-Saturday 10am -10pm Sunday 12pm-7pm
september 2010 | | haberdashers8
8. A Century of
Vampires That
Don’t Suck
if you’ve seen a lot of vampire movies, there’s
one thing you know for sure: there aren’t very
many good ones. it’s true that, in any genre
(especially horror), there are going to be more
bad films than good ones, but the subject matter
of vampires is a particularly thin tightrope.
Story & Art by John Bohlman
Consequently, you will find filmmakers resorting to cheap
laughs, gratuitous nudity or, worst of all, making up their
own rules (what vampires can or can’t do) to accommodate their
storyline. For instance, Anne Rice claimed that stakes through the
heart is a myth and Stephanie Meyer declared that vampires cannot
only walk around in the daylight, but sparkle as well. When Kevin
Smith was asked to write the script for a reboot of the Superman
franchise, the producer told him he didn’t want Superman to wear
his costume or fly, to which Smith responded, “The suit and flying
defines Superman.” Same thing with vampires: If you’re going to
make them impervious to stakes and sunlight, doesn’t it then cease
to be a vampire movie?
The other fatal flaw with vampire flicks is their tendency towards
melodrama. Melodrama isn’t always a bad thing (sometimes it works
quite well, actually), but the problem is, melodrama tends to date
the material. In other words, vampire movies that were hugely
popular in their day end up laughably embarrassing mere years later.
It’s sadly ironic that, while vampires themselves never grow old, their
movies, generally speaking, do not hold up well over time. However,
if you look thoroughly enough, you will find some masterpieces of the
undead that withstand the test of time without defying convention.
The following is a recap of 100 years of vampire cinema with a
film selected from each decade that exemplifies the right way to do it.
Gourmet bloodsucking, if you will. These films play by the rules and
are as effective by today’s standards as they were in their own time.
Some are obvious milestones, others are overlooked treasures, but all
are films that not only respect the genre, but elevate it. If you’re a fan
of the undead and looking to treat yourself to a movie marathon of
the best in blood, bats, and black capes this Halloween (or anytime
of year), here is your list:
The Devil’s Daughter {1915}
You’ve probably never heard the name Theda Bara, but this is
the woman who single-handedly defined the movie vampire. In fact,
she defined “Goth” as a look before there was even a name for it.
All silent film stars had chalky-white faces, but with her black hair,
black eyes and black lips, Theda Bara looked like a vampire even
when she played Cleopatra. She was so mesmerizing in The Devil’s
Daughter that she played a vampire in five different films in 1915
alone. You’ll probably have a great deal of trouble finding this film
(online or otherwise), but if you ever find the opportunity to view
it, don’t miss it. The impact of Bela Lugosi’s iconic performances
as Dracula was largely due to the intensity in his eyes as he put his
victims into a trance, but Bara could effortlessly stare down Lugosi. If
you’re skeptical, do a Google image search of Theda Bara and see for
yourself. She’s been dead for 55 years, but she can still cast a spell on
you. If that’s not the definition of a true vampire, what is?
Nosferatu {1922}
Unlike The Devil’s Daughter, this film is popular enough that
you can often catch it playing at a local theater (especially around
Halloween). If you’re really lucky, you can see it with live musicians
performing the haunting score. Either way, try to see this on a big
screen in a darkened theater. It’s amazing that a movie with no voices
or sound effects could be so unsettling. It’s partly due to director F.W.
Murnau’s effective use of shadows and partly due to Max Schreck’s
performance as the title character. He doesn’t look as though he’s
wearing too much make-up in the role, yet Count Orlok seems so
inhuman (particularly when he looks into the camera), your skin
can’t keep from crawling. Considering how scary this film comes
across today, it must have been absolutely traumatizing to audiences
in 1922. Indeed, it was banned in Sweden for 50 years for that very
reason. This is the best vampire film on this list, which means it’s the
best vampire film ever.
The Vampire Bat {1933}
You’re probably thinking “What? Not 1931’s Dracula starring Bela
Lugosi?” The truth is, Dracula, while widely beloved and undeniably
influential, really doesn’t hold up well. It has a good start, with some
truly creepy moments and impressive gothic scenery, but once you
leave Castle Dracula, it starts to get pretty cheesy. This is largely due
to the god-awful bat puppets used in the film. The Vampire Bat uses
real bats right in the opening scene. Furthermore, the film remains
dark and shadowy throughout (even in daylight scenes) implying that
nobody in the film is safe at any time and, as it turns out, they are not.
It also employs the Blair Witch Project philosophy that, the less you see,
the scarier the effect. Perhaps the most frightening aspect of the film,
though, is its commentary on mob mentality. When people in the town
of Klineschloss start dying from what appear to be vampire attacks,
the villagers start aggressively seeking out the culprit. The most likely
candidate seems to be Herman, the town simpleton (played by Dwight
Frye, who basically repeats his performance as Renfield from Dracula,
only more disheveled and imbecilic) who just happens to be obsessed
with bats. It’s not long before town gossip escalates toward a lynch
mob bent on hunting Herman down. Movie history shows that, in
situations like this, the answer is never the obvious one, but the film
keeps things ambiguous enough that you realize that Herman may not
be the vampire, but then again maybe he could be. The mystery there
is what makes the film timeless and relevant: The danger of allowing
fear to make snap judgments. For instance, nowadays, you could equate
the suspicion of the villagers in the film to the growing paranoia and
animosity towards Muslims in America. In another 100 years, it’ll be
someone else.
Dead Men Walk {1943}
For years after Bela Lugosi’s huge success playing Dracula, virtually
every movie vampire thereafter tried to ride that gravy train by
mimicking his performance. The cape, the skulking, the slicked-
back hair, the accent, etc. Here’s a film brave enough to go in another
direction with a more cool, calm, collected vampire. Think the ghost
of Delbert Grady in The Shining and you get the idea. The film begins
with Dr. Lloyd Clayton at his brother Elwyn’s funeral where you learn
Elwyn died by Lloyd’s hand. It seems Elwyn was a magician who
dabbled in the darks arts and, when confronted by his brother, things
turned violent and there’s some town gossip that debates whether
it was murder or self-defense on Clayton’s part. Elwyn returns from
the grave as a vampire taunting Lloyd with revenge manifested by
drinking the blood of their niece Gayle (whose guardian happens to
be Lloyd) and make her his eternal servant. Lloyd begins questioning
his sanity and confides in Gayle’s fiancé David about what he’s seen.
David then also begins questioning Lloyd’s sanity and more rumors
about the good doctor start spreading about town. To makes matters
worse, when witnesses start spotting Elwyn drinking the blood of the
townsfolk, logically, they’re more inclined to believe it’s Lloyd doing
the killing rather than his believed-to-be-deceased brother, Elwyn. It’s
not long before another lynch mob is underway. This all leads to a for-
god’s-sake-hurry climax as suspenseful as any you’re likely to see in any
vampire movie. George Zucco is fantastic in his performance playing
both brothers. Even though they are twins, his characterization of both
roles is so flawless that you can tell who is who whenever they come
onscreen. The filmmaking is impressively adept at having the two of
them interact realistically with trick photography convincing body
doubles. Chances are, had you not been told the same person played
both brothers, you would have assumed they’d found two different
actors with a striking resemblance to each other. Why this film isn’t
more highly revered as a vampire classic makes you wonder.
Horror of Dracula {1958}
Vampire movies in the 1950s are slim since Godzilla and pals
demonstrated there was money to be made in giant reptiles and
giant bugs destroying the city. Most vampire films during that time
were campy flicks where rock-n-rollin’ teenagers in hot rods were
accosted by corny vampires who were, like, a total drag, Daddy-O.
Thank goodness for the inception of Hammer Films in 1957 which
dominated the vampire/Frankenstein/mummy genre up through
the early 1970s. Also, what vampire movie list would be complete
without Christopher Lee as Dracula pursued by Peter Cushing as Van
Helsing? Horror of Dracula is a pretty liberal adaptation of Bram
Stoker’s novel, but the essence of the story remains and the changes
they make to the story are refreshing without feeling like a betrayal.
Actually, they turn out to be nice surprises if you’ve read Dracula
or seen too many adaptations of it already. At least it’s not another
recycling of the same story with an actor trying to recreate the magic
by raping Lugosi yet again. Cushing played Van Helsing at least five
times and Lee played Dracula twice as many, yet they always seemed
to take it seriously and never failed to deliver. You could argue which
Hammer Film is the definitive one, but if you’re looking for a good
place to start, this one certainly hits all the right notes. The way Van
Helsing takes Dracula out in this one is particularly badass.
september 2010 | | haberdashers11
9. The Last Man on Earth {1964}
You probably know this film from the novel it’s based on
Richard Matheson’s I Am Legend. Forget the Will Smith version.
That movie totally missed the point of the story, particularly with
its bastardization of the ending. Vincent Price’s loneliness and
desperation are quite palpable and the flashbacks that show how
he came to be in this situation are as heartbreaking as they are
disturbing. In one particular flashback, his wife has died from the
vampire virus, but, in his grief, he can’t bring himself to burn her
body even though he knows he should. He buries her instead and
you’re left just waiting for her to come back for him. When she shows
up scratching at the door whispering “Let… Me… In…,” it’s truly
chilling. Like The Vampire Bat, there are underlying messages in
this film about society and its evolution (or de-evolution) that are still
relevant today. And, while this is not as widely popular a vampire
film as Dracula or Nosferatu, when you watch it, you’ll likely recognize
its influence on future films. Not just future vampire films, either.
George Romero has said that this movie served as a blueprint for the
original Night of the Living Dead.
Love at First Bite {1979}
If you’re going to make a comedic spoof of the Dracula legend, you
can’t find more inspired casting than George Hamilton as the Count
and Arte Johnson as Renfield. To be sure, this is a screwball comedy,
but all the proper elements for a decent vampire flick are still in place.
Actually, if a 19th Century Carpathian vampire were to integrate
himself into contemporary American society, this is probably pretty
close to how it would go down. In fact, it’s quite creative. Richard
Benjamin is particularly hilarious as a neurotic descendant of Van
Helsing who so desperately wants to destroy Dracula he doesn’t bother
to research the proper ways of doing it first. With every failed attempt,
the authorities drag him away as he calmly reassures them “I’m a doctor,
I know what I’m doing.” The reason this film works is because, while
most vampire movies take themselves too seriously, this one certainly
does not. Yes, it’s a comedy, but it’s still the most effective vampire
movie of the 70’s. Unless you prefer soft-core porn, maybe.
Fright Night {1985}
If you were born in the late 1960s or early 1970s, you might think it’s
blasphemous to name anything other than The Lost Boys as the quint-
essential vampire movie of the 1980s. While your nostalgic fondness
may be justifiable, objectively speaking, Fright Night is a better film.
Remember, this list is made up of vampire films that remain timeless.
The Lost Boys is so dated, it showcases everything that was embarrassing
about the 1980s like a badge of honor. It’s got big hair, the two Coreys,
and a new-wave soundtrack where the song “Cry Little Sister” is played
so often in the film, you could make a drinking game out of it. Nobody
born after 1980 can watch The Lost Boys without rolling their eyes or
shaking their head. True, Fright Night does display its timeliness during
the nightclub scene, but, in the context of the film, it works because it’s
the turning point where the vampire seduces the hero’s girlfriend. And
it’s not nearly as cringe-inducing as almost every scene from The Lost
Boys. More importantly, Fright Night brings back all the classic elements
of past vampire films that you rarely see anymore: Turning into bats,
casting no reflections, sleeping in coffins, having human caretakers,
and so on. And it uses all of those ingredients in a way that doesn’t feel
forced or contrived. It doesn’t bend the rules, it embraces them. It’s just
a damn good movie by any horror film standards. Plus, hands down, it
has the greatest display ever of a vampire being incinerated by sunlight.
The Night Flier {1997}
There was a trend in the 1990s to try to figure out a way for
vampires to be killed by bullets in order to accommodate conformist
action sequences. In Innocent Blood, you could shoot vampires in the
head (sorry, but that’s zombies). In Blade, you could shoot vampires
with silver bullets (sorry, but that’s werewolves). In From Dusk Till
Dawn, you could shoot vampires with bullets that had crosses etched
into the tips (sorry, but that’s lame). Coppola made a valiant attempt
at returning to the old school by remaking Dracula, but that film
suffered from over-stylized filmmaking and an awkward performance
by Keanu Reeves (who should never play a character that doesn’t get to
say “whoa”). Leave it to Stephen King to deliver the best of both worlds:
Some old-school, some new-school resulting in something unique, but
good. The Night Flier is a truly modest film with an estimated budget
of only $1 million that played on only 95 screens when it opened. With
those numbers, it really didn’t stand a chance and it’s no wonder so
few have seen it, but despite those numbers, it’s really quite impressive.
Miguel Ferrer, playing the abrasive anti-hero he does so well, is Richard
Dees, a disenchanted tabloid reporter/photographer who pursues a
story about a vampire flying from state to state claiming victims in
various small towns throughout New England. Only the vampire isn’t
traveling as a bat, but as a pilot in a Cessna Skymaster 337 using the
plane as his coffin during the day. The film functions mostly as a cat
and mouse thriller with Dees, also a pilot, following the bloody trail of
the vampire and talking to witnesses and friends of the victims along
the way. Most vampire films have the formula where the protagonist is
the only one who believes his adversary is a vampire while those around
him think he’s crazy. In this case, Dees believes the man he’s following
is merely a psycho while the people he comes across in his search warn
him that it is indeed a vampire and he should stay away. What’s most
impressive about this film is how it sneaks up on you. When the final
confrontation between Dees and the vampire comes, it is surprisingly
unsettling and quite haunting. Plus, there is an unexpected twist that
makes for a great payoff. Despite its lackluster performance at the box
office, this film isn’t hard to find on DVD. Although, should you seek
it out, try to find a way to rent it without looking at the box cover.
Apparently, the marketers of the film felt they’d get a better response
if they put a picture of the vampire’s face on the cover, which is one of
the best reveals of the movie after much build up.
Let the Right One In {2008}
Ignore the American remake currently in theaters entitled Let Me
In. This film borders on perfection and the very thought of a remake
is insulting. It’s a shame it’s been generally passed over in favor of the
Twilight and True Blood bandwagons because, after Nosferatu, it may
just be the finest vampire movie ever made. A big part of its power
comes from its observance of the horror of pre-adolescence more
than the horror of being a vampire. It’s a coming of age film, first
and foremost. An outcast of a boy, who is picked on by bullies and
ignored by his family, befriends a girl his age (even though she could
very well be hundreds of years old) who is an outcast herself because
she’s a vampire. As far as tales of first-loves go, this one’s a doozy.
Since it is set in Sweden, it is conveniently dark all the time, which
is not only good for vampires, but also good for atmosphere. Not a
lot of vampire films take place in snowy climates, either, which is too
bad, if you think about it. Blood is so much more striking when it is
splashed about on a white landscape. To tell you any more would be
to lessen the impact of this masterpiece. If you consider yourself a fan
of vampire cinema and you haven’t seen this, you must. And since it
is the most recent film on this list, it’ll probably be easier to get your
friends to watch it with you. If they don’t object to subtitles, that is.
these are, of course, not the only good vampire movies of the past century, but they are the ones
most likely to endure and remain ideal entries into the ongoing immortality of the vampire genre
another hundred years from now. it’s almost enough to make you want to become a vampire yourself
just to see how the genre transforms.
september 2010 | | haberdashers13september 2010 | | haberdashers12
10. So let’s assume you’re not the sort of person who’s eager to jump
on the Apple fanatics’ bandwagon. Maybe you already own an
iPhone, or maybe you’re not convinced you need to add yet another
shiny, sleek device to your menagerie.
It’s probably fair to say that everybody who uses an iPad will enjoy
the experience. But with a minimum entry point of $499, it’s not the
sort of device that the average guy can just pick up on a whim. At
that price, you need to know exactly what it excels at and what it’s
just not capable of. But here’s the good news: What it does, it does
exceptionally well.
Look & Feel
Although an iPad physically resembles an oversized iPod Touch,
the larger form factor makes for a dramatically different experience.
The iPad is build to be held in two hands or to sit in one’s lap, and
it weighs enough to feel more solid and substantial than the average
eBook reader. Its glossy screen renders photos and video in surprisingly
bold color, and its interface is snappy and highly responsive.
Anyone who has ever used an iPhone will feel right at home with an
iPad: It runs iOS, the same operating system that iPhones and iPod
Touches utilize. This also means that almost every app that you’ve
already purchased and installed on your iPhone or iPod Touch will
run on an iPad with an option to scale up the resolution to fill the
iPad’s much larger screen. Although it can’t improve the resolution of
an iPhone app’s visuals, it does a great job of smoothing over pixels
to avoid looking jagged.
Even when running on Wi-Fi, the iPad holds a battery charge very
well. Apple claims it can operate for ten hours of continuous use over
Wi-Fi or nine hours on 3G.
iPad as a Reading Device
If there’s one thing iPad does better than any other device on the
market, it’s how it presents its content in a vivid and aesthetically
pleasing way. Web pages, PDFs, emails, and novels all render in crisp,
clear type with vibrant colors and sharp images. The touchscreen
interface only enhances the experience by allowing the user to
turn pages and scroll through lengthy articles with the flick of a
finger instead of reaching for the mouse or manipulating a laptop’s
touchpad. It succeeds in bringing the reader closer to the content
without any extra layers of abstraction, and this makes for a very
satisfying experience.
Apple’s iBooks application takes full advantage of the touchscreen
interface with its intuitive touch-and-flick page turning, pop-up
dictionary and bookmarking and annotation features. Thousands
of fiction and nonfiction titles are available in the iBooks store,
including a large selection of free and public domain books. While
iBooks’ selection is much smaller than Amazon’s Kindle eBook store,
prices are comparable and Apple’s iBooks reading app is arguably
better designed than Amazon’s Kindle app. Fortunately, both are
available for free in the iPad’s App Store, meaning the full selection
of both Apple’s and Amazon’s eBooks is available to every iPad owner.
store shelves are barren. online retailers are backordered. and a few dedicated geeks are
seizing every opportunity to brag to strangers in coffee shops around the world. these
are the telltale signs that apple has released a new device, and even though most people
aren’t sure they really need one, that certainly hasn’t. stopped consumers from lining up
in droves for them.
Accessories { Y’all Better Accessorize }
There’s no question that the iPad is great for consuming
media right out of the box, but creating anything with only
a touchscreen can be difficult The on-screen keyboard, while
surprisingly intuitive, is just too frustrating for typing any-
thing longer than a Web address or short email. Fortunately,
there’s already a small army of iPad accoutrements that prom-
ise to increase productivity and add versatility to the device.
But as anybody who’s ever bought an accessory for their iPod
or iPhone can attest, not all add-ons are made equal. Here’s
the good news: I’ve plumbed the depths of the Apple Store
shelves for the perfect components, and I’ve got a pretty good
idea of what works and what doesn’t. Here are some recom-
mendations for any prospective iPad owner:
Stand || Loop for iPad, Griffin Technology, $29.99
It’s puzzling why so many iPad stands are built with only one
orientation in mind, and even more so why Apple is among
the worst perpetrators of fixed-orientation accessory design.
I made the mistake of purchasing Apple’s official iPad dock
(also $29.99), which requires that the tablet be locked into
a portrait orientation. Part of the iPad’s strength is that it’s
small enough to be easily manipulated in your hands, and be-
ing able to switch orientations on a whim is essential.
Griffin Technology’s Loop for iPad has a groove that sturdily
holds an iPad upright in either a portrait or landscape orienta-
tion, thanks to its rubber surface. But it goes one step beyond
other stands I’ve seen by also allowing the iPad to be laid flat
upon it, providing a solid, angled surface for situations where
you need your iPad below eye—great for consulting recipes in
the kitchen or reading guitar tablature while playing on the
couch or bed. It’s also got a small groove in the back that’s
designed to keep the iPad’s charging cable in place.
Keyboard || Apple Bluetooth Keyboard, $69.99
Apple also makes a keyboard with a built-in iPad dock, which
also retails for $69.99, but this also requires that the iPad be
fixed in a portrait orientation. I strongly recommend Apple’s
standard Bluetooth keyboard because, in my experience, the
best part about using an iPad is how it liberates you from the
bulk and rigidity of a laptop; why sacrifice the ability to place
your keyboard wherever you like?
Although any Bluetooth keyboard should work with an iPad,
Apple’s keyboard has the added benefits of having customized
function buttons at the top that can control music playback
and volume, brightness, and so forth. And just as any Blue-
tooth keyboard will work with your iPad, you can use that
same keyboard with a number of other devices — computers,
video game consoles, and even the most recent series of iPhones.
If you’re worried about scratching or damaging your iPad,
there are a number of cases available. I use Apple’s official iPad
case ($39.99) and it does a great job of keeping the device
clean, but there are a few significant problems with its design.
The added bulk of the case means your iPad can’t attach to
Apple’s iPad dock or plug-in keyboard, but it fits just fine in
the Loop stand. And while your iPad’s likely to remain pris-
tine for years to come within Apple’s case, the case itself won’t
be so lucky — it’s a dirt magnet.
Photo courtesy of Apple Inc.
Story by Nick Cummings
The
Almighty
iPad
september 2010 | | haberdashers15september 2010 | | haberdashers14
11. Essential Apps
Pages || $9.99 — Apple’s word-processing app is elegant, rel-
atively robust, and an absolute necessity for anyone who wants
to create documents on-the-go. It also exports easily to Micro-
soft Word and Adobe PDF formats. Fun fact: This article was
written and edited entirely within Pages on an iPad. Twitter for
iPad (free) — The official Twitter client for iPad is beautifully
designed and makes great use of iPad’s tactile interface.
Reeder || $4.99 — An elegant, flexible RSS feed reader that
syncs automatically with Google Reader. It features plenty of
sharing and export options, such as publishing to Twitter or
sending to...
Instapaper || $4.99 — Instapaper takes any article you’re
reading online and allows you to read it later by preserving
the text and images in an easy-to-digest format. This app is
universal, meaning you can buy it once for your iPad and it’ll
also run on your iPhone at no additional cost.
Netflix || free — If you’re a Netflix subscriber, chances are
you’ve got access to Netflix’s Watch Instantly service — an
unlimited video streaming service with more TV shows and
movies than you’d ever have time to watch. This app brings
all that entertainment to your iPad in high resolution.
Plants vs. Zombies || $9.99 — Well, you know what they
say about all work and no play. PopCap’s deviously addictive
strategy game is a perfect fit for iPad’s large screen and touch
interface, and it’s accessible enough for anybody to pick up
and have a blast with.
iPad VS. Smartphone
In terms of raw functionality, the average Android or BlackBerry phone
will do just about anything an iPad can do and make phone calls. In that
sense, an iPad can’t be looked at as a replacement for a smartphone. While
smartphones excel at keeping people connected to their friends and the
internet, the iPad is designed for enhancing those same experiences in a
more domestic setting. It’s designed to be used in an easy chair at home or
at a cozy coffee shop downtown, whereas a smartphone is preferable for a
crowded subway car or while commuting to work.
For current iPhone owners, however, the situation is a little
more complicated. On the one hand, an iPhone can do absolutely
everything an iPad can, which might make an iPad feel redundant
to some. But that shared functionality also means that all those apps
you’ve invested in for your phone can easily be copied over to your
iPad as well for no additional charge. Sure, an iPhone can run almost
all the same software as an iPad, but the experience of using a much
larger screen to display your old apps is very satisfying.
iPad VS. Kindle VS. Laptop
Despite the media buzz and strong sales figures surrounding the
iPad, most people still don’t seem to know exactly what it does. But
who could blame them? Apple’s advertising campaign shows a variety
of cool things that can be done with an iPad, but nobody seems to
be able to say with any certainty just what purpose the device is
supposed to serve. Is it a more portable laptop? Is it an oversized iPod
Touch? Is it a gaming device? Can someone replace an old computer
with an iPad?
The answer to all those questions: “well, sort of”. While there’s
no question that the interface and physical design of the iPad are
outstanding, it also stands to reason that it’s not going to be a perfect
fit for everyone.
If you’re just looking for a portable book reader and don’t care
about internet access and web content, you’ll want to look for an
ebook reader like Amazon’s Kindle. (What about Barnes & Noble’s
ereader?) They’re a fraction of the cost of an iPad and, in the case of
the Kindle, there’s a much wider book selection available on Amazon
than in Apple’s relatively paltry iBooks store. However, it is worth
noting that Amazon’s Kindle app for iPad is well-designed and free
to use, opening up Amazon’s massive selection to iPad users.
If you’re searching for a laptop replacement, you’re probably going
to just want to get another laptop. While Apple has done a pretty
great job of adapting its iWork suite to iPad with versions of Pages
(word processing), Numbers (spreadsheets) and Keynote (PowerPoint-
style presentations) available à la carte for $10 each, heavy-duty
applications like web design, image editing, layout, and video editing
just aren’t feasible on an iPad.
If you’re fond of the idea of being able to access email, videos, music,
social networks, web content, and hundreds of thousands of iPhone
and iPad-specific apps in one place — and in a small, compact format
that you can take just about anywhere — you might fall in love with
your iPad. What makes it so special is difficult to describe, but the
freedom of being able to take a diverse range of multimedia content
away from the confines of a desktop computer or bulky, expensive
laptop and to curl up on the couch with it feels simply revelatory.
3G or not 3G?
The vast majority of iPad owners will not miss 3G connectivity.
With most homes, hotels, coffee shops, and airports offering Wi-Fi
access, it’s likely that you’ll be able to surf the web and correspond
with colleagues almost anywhere you go. But if you’re constantly on
the road and you want the guarantee of always being able to stay in
touch — or maybe you’d just like to get out of the office and set up
shop in the park for an afternoon or two — then you might want to
spend the extra $130 for a 3G model. With pay-as-you-go data plans,
there’s never any risk of recurring credit card charges stacking up,
making the 3G feature a blessing and not a curse.
Bottom line, the iPad is that rare piece of modern technology
that only gets better with time. With multitasking and printing
support arriving as a free update in November, the iPad’s legitimacy
as a portable productivity device is going to be even harder to
ignore. Thanks to a thriving community of app developers and its
ultraportable design, iPad might just be the missing link in your
digital life.
When you’ve exhausted all these options, head back to the sports
bar. Order some hot wings from the hot waitress. Wash them down
with a beer and be glad to have so many choices when you want to
get liquored up.
Accessories {continued}
september 2010 | | haberdashers17september 2010 | | haberdashers16
12. The Omega Speedmaster Professional Retail || $3850
Do the words, “First watch on the moon” mean anything to you?
How about the words “Only watch to go to the moon?” It’s big,
not too flashy and comes with a history roughly 238,857 miles long.
Definitely a watch for the man with lofty ambitions, this Swiss
made beauty has been the envy of many for a long time.
The Graham Oversized Overlord MkIII Retail || $11,450
The Graham Overlord Oversized Mark III. If peyote were served
to the watchmakers with tea over the skies of England, this would
be the result. Extravagant, wildly mechanical, and in fine British
tradition, this watch is a blend of pilot’s daring, UK pride and
syphilitic dementia. A cool watch to behold.
The Victorinox Night Vision II Retail || $450
Easily one of the less flashy designs, this Swiss Army watch is
actually the flashiest. Push the button on the side, and an LED built
into the case lugs near the band end can act as a flashlight or as a
repetitive flasher. Perfect for Portland and the biking scene as the
days get darker. Plus it’s a good, simple design.
The Casio GS56-1A Retail || $150
When the G-Shock first came out there was nothing like it. A
durable, girthy digital that could do more than all the other analog
watches combined. It could endure the feverish flailings of any 7
year old’s shit fits, and continue to function well. Too bad it looked
like a lump of coal roughly stuck to your wrist with electrical
tape. Casio has updated that old toad with another coal colored
leviathan, but this time they upped the ante. The band is as wide as
a caterpillar track and the body has the look of the inner alveoli of a
smoker’s lung. Still functional as ever, and as durable as the hydrant
they modeled it after, the G-Shock endures.
watch it, pal
The Oris Divers GMT +
Carlos Coste Chrono Retail || $1995/$3195
Handsome, functional and stout, this more than a half inch thick
watch isn’t for the faint of heart. With a resin band and a reputation
for surviving adverse conditions in deep water (300 meters), the
watch requires self-confidence, but if you think it may not have
enough suss to support you and your active lifestyle, try the Carlos
Coste Chrono, it’ll get you to 1,000 meters… good luck resurfacing.
The Rolex 904L Submariner Date Retail || $7400
The gold standard: plain and simple. Less a watch than a world
renowned status symbol that holds more value in any far off nether
region than 98% of the currencies on the planet. Robust, over
crafted and now made with 904L grade stainless steel. 904L is
a non-stabilized low carbon high alloy austenitic stainless steel,
and I had an erection as I typed that. The watch is that cool, and
everybody who doesn’t own one knows that. As if you didn’t know,
it’ll take a few cool duckets to buy one.
The Omega PLOPROF 1200M Retail || $9000
When a watch needs a pressure relief valve that allows helium
atoms to be released during the decompression from your 4,000
ft deep dive, I’ll concede, you’ve got huge cajones. Seriously, if you
ever find yourself diving at depths only slightly shallower than most
navy Deep Submersible Rescue Vehicles, you’ve got to have a huge
set, and this huge watch should go hand in… um… err hand with
your diving needs.
Photo by Bill Anders (Apollo 8) Courtesy of NASA
Story by John Swanson
september 2010 | | haberdashers19
13. ^
shirt Gant $115
jeans 7 For All Mankind $198
duffel Bag Ben Sherman $109
>
shirt Zachary Prell $198
14. ^
polp Canterbury of New Zealand $128
scarf Victorinox Swiss Army $85
>
sweater Converse By John Varvatos $195
shirt Converse By John Varvatos $125
messengerbag Ben Sherman $119
15. <
shirt Zachary Prell $198
>
shirt Canterbury of New Zealand $128
cardigan Canterbury of New Zealand $98
16. Savage
on an april evening in 2008, jill savage is in an
office at her parent’s house in grimes, iowa,
burning dvd’s of her demo reel. she signs each
disk she sending to 120 sports stations across the
country. as she signs one disk and picks it up to
put in an envelope, she looks at her signature
and notices it’s not as good as the others she’s
sent. she’s not about to waste a perfectly good
dvd and seals the envelope and looks at the
address where it’s going. “oh that one’s going to
portland,” she says. it was a small mental note
she made remembering that disk. obviously, the
messy signature wasn’t what caught the eye of
the people at comcast sports net in portland,
probably it was the video on the disk, with espn
graphics during a segment of savage covering
sports events like the rose bowl and segments of
her from public access sports talk show that was
a big education in broadcasting for savage.
Story by Peter Barna Photos by Daniel Evans
Oregon Gets
september 2010 | | haberdashers27
17. september 2010 | | haberdashers43
<
jacket BB Dakota $288
jeans J.Brand $187
Comcast must have seen the determination and skill in Savage
and invited the small town Iowa girl out to Portland to work
a show which would end up becoming The Fan with Isaac and Suke.
Sports fans in Oregon quickly came to like the low key, easy going
Savage and made a push for her to take over as the new Trail Blazers
sideline reporter, but fans of Savage are also quite content seeing her
on Saturday’s hosting the Ducks football pregame show, and a job
that’s broadening its role with her.
Born in the small suburb of Grimes, just outside Des Moines, Iowa,
and the youngest of two daughters, her sister, Leah, being only 16
months older than her. Des Moines was in the midst of a huge late
season blizzard on April 13th, 1984 the day she was born to a mother,
a nurse and father, an electrical engineer.
At an early age, Savage developed a love of Iowa football and sports
in general while watching TV with her father. “I grew up sitting
next to my Dad, whatever he liked, I liked,” Savage says. “As long as
I could remember, I’d be watching Hawkeye football and basketball.”
Savage’s sister is completely different from her. Leah Savage never
latched onto sports the way Jill did. And being out in Portland now,
Jill says her sister, a Twilight fan, wants to come out and have the
two tour of all the filming locations for the movies, despite Oregon
being better known as the home of some of Jill’s favorite childhood
movies like The Goonies, Kindergarten Cop, and the first Short Circuit
movie. Although her favorite movie is Gladiator, and her favorite
sports movie, Field of Dreams because it was filmed in Iowa.
Savage remembers the first NFL game she saw on television. Her
parents were attending a Kansas City Chiefs game, and the fourth
grader, of course, assume she’d see them on TV. She sat down to
watch the game, and now she laughs at the fact that she did actually
see her parents. Also, that was the game where began to understand
the game of football. Following that game, Savage would watch the
Chiefs on TV with her father and by junior high, she was watching
any football game that was available.
Around about the same time Savage saw her parents on TV at
a Chiefs game, she had a fourth grade teacher who asked the class
where they wanted to go to college, without hesitation, Savage said
without dispute, “I’m going to be a Hawkeye.”
She graduated from, Dallas Center-Grimes Community High
School in 2003 with 114 fellow students. She ran the 800 meters in
track, for the small school 11 miles away from Grimes, and refused
to run hurdles but says being from a small town you pretty much had
to do everything. Still she refused the hurdles. “They wanted me to,
but I never would.”
After high school, just as Savage had declared in the fourth grade,
she began attending classes at the University of Iowa. By this time
Savage knew that she wanted a career in sports broadcasting and
was set to do whatever it took to excel in that field. She majored
in communications and shortly after people told her how little
employment there was in broadcasting Savage added a business major
as a backup. However, while she was studying she said to herself,>
top MK2K $165
sweater Repeat $188
necklace Sweet Romance $58
I grew up sitting next to my Dad,
whatever he liked, I liked,” Savage
says. “As long as I could remember,
I’d be watching Hawkeye football
and basketball.
“
”
All items available at Grapevine,
located next door to Haberdashers
in Lake Oswego
18. “No, this is what I want to do.” So it was down to work taking all the
communication classes she needed that would land her that dream
job in broadcasting.
The best thing she did in college was working on a local public
access show called SportsStop. Savage and group of her fellow students
would preview that weeks Hawkeye’s game, discuss Big-10 matchups,
and then they’d take a look at the NFL and/or NBA. The 30 minute,
uninterrupted sports panel show Savage describes as being similar to
Portland’s Talkin’ Ball on Comcast Sports Net, was a real education.
The show was taped live, and if a show began falling apart, or if
someone messed up a segment, they couldn’t just simply throw to
commercial and recover during the break, they had to recover on air.
While working summer sports camps each year for the University
of Iowa, Savage got to know everyone in the Athletic Department
and because of this she had a chance to meet ESPN’s sideline reporter
Erin Andrews. During her senior year in 2006, Savage knew Andrews
would be at Iowa covering the Big-
10 basketball matchup between
Iowa and Indiana, and Michigan
State two weeks after that. She
told people she was going to
meet Andrews and try and set up
a job shadow with her. She was
successful, setting the entire thing
up completely on her own and
from there, the Sports Information
Department saw how serious and
dedicated Savage was so when
ESPN’s College Game Day show
came to town to cover the Iowa
versus Ohio State football game, Savage said to people at the Sports
Information Department that she wanted the Game Day producers
and ABC producers email and said, “If they don’t want to talk to me,
they don’t have to, but you’re just going to tell me who they are so I
can contact them.”
Savage was set up for a meeting the ABC producer Friday
afternoon, but due to Coaches meetings, she ended up talking to an
operations assistant who realized that they still needed a person to
work the game Saturday as a booth assistant and was about head to
the journalism school to find someone to work the job when he asked
if she was available. The diehard Hawkeyes fan looked at the person
and said, “Listen buddy, this is the Iowa/Ohio State game. This is the
biggest deal since I’ve been in college. I’m going to need to see the
game. This is a priority.” The person responded, “Well you’re going
to be up in the booth with the broadcasters, Brent Musburger, Kirk
Herbstreit, and Bob Davie.”
“Oh, well if you’re gonna pay me to do that,” Savage said. “O.K.,
yeah, I’ll do that instead.”
So Savage went to work as a booth assistant for the ESPN
broadcasters, making sure they had everything they needed from
drinks to roster cars, anything they need. “I remember for that
game I helped Brent with the pronunciation of [Iowa defensive end]
Kenny Iwebema (Ee-web-em-ah however most people wanted to say
Ee-WAH-beem-ah).”
After getting in with them for that game, three weeks later, she
worked the Texas/Nebraska game in Lincoln. The next year she
worked two more games with ESPN, and following that Savage
covered the Rose Bowl with ESPN in 2008 and 2009. With all the
connections she was making, Savage was allowed to lead her demo
reel with her work at ESPN and use their graphics. Then she began
sending her reel out to 120 stations across the country making sure
to sign each of the disks.
“Any sports station that I could find,” Savage says. “I found their
address, I found a phone number, and I tried to find a name to send
it to, and just hoped that someone would look at my tape.”
While some stations across the country contacted her, Comcast
Sports Net in Portland was the one that asked her to come out and do
a week of shows for what would become The Fan with Isaac and Suke.
The radio show on 1080 AM was preempted by Mariners games so
Comcast wanted to do TV only segments. “And then at the end of
that week they said, ‘all right, come
back in a month,’ and that’s how I got
the job.”
Savage loaded up her small white
Toyota Camry Solara with as much as
she could pack into it, put on some
country music, and drove out to
Portland. “Anything that could fit in
my car came with me.”
She didn’t think she’d stay in
Portland for very long, she thought
she’d get here and quickly move on to
another station in another city. Comcast Sports Net was so young
when she arrived that Savage has grown with network and become
one of its faces and has enjoyed the opportunities that have come her
way, including now hosting the pregame and postgame shows for
the Oregon Ducks on Oregon Sports Net. This past January, Savage
again worked the Rose Bowl again for a third time, this time hosting
for OSN as the Ducks lost to Ohio State.
When she’s not on air previewing the upcoming Duck game,
or providing sports updates on The Fan, Savage is on the internet
constantly reading articles and emailing story links to herself, and
checking Twitter for news updates like breaking news 8 minutes
before air time that Coach Chip Kelly had named Darren Thomas
the starting quarterback for the Ducks.
There’s generally no free time for this sports fan. If she’s not
working a game, she’s watching one, there’s the occasional late night
happy hour, or barbeque. But if there isn’t game on, she’ll usually sit
back watch Netflix on her computer, or grab a blanket and head to
a park to read a book. Next on her book list is The Federalist Papers.
Being from Iowa and every four years having the Iowa Caucus, she
grew up understanding politics and being interested in the subject.
Now that she’s in Portland, the 26 year old Savage has become a
fan of the Trail Blazers and she says that even if she were move out
of Portland, she’d still remain a Blazers fan because they are such
a likeable group of players. She also jokes with fellow Iowa natives
Michael Born and Chad Buchanan, the Blazers two top scouts that
Iowan’s are taking over the organization.
Shortly after the Trail Blazers 2009-10 season came to end, the
organization’s sideline reporter Rebecca Haarlow announced she was
moving to Los Angeles to work the sideline for the Lakers. Right
away, Savage’s name was mentioned by many fans on Twitter as a
possible replacement. Ben Golliver of the blog Blazersedge tweeted,
“2 easiest hires 1) Armon Johnson for 3rd string point guard 2) Jill
Savage for sideline reporter. Get it done and take a vaycay Blazers.”
“I saw that and I liked it,” Savage says. “I was like, ‘Wow, Ben
didn’t have to do that,’ but I was really happy that he did, that was
nice to see.”
To date, no decision has been made to have Savage be a part of
the Blazers broadcast team, although does say she would love to do
so. “I think it would be great to work for the Trail Blazers. I really like
working with them right now the way it is, they’re all great people.”
>
sweater Line $275
Listen buddy, this is the
Iowa/Ohio State game.
This is the biggest deal since
I’ve been in college. I’m going
to need to see the game.
This is a priority.
“
”
Just before 3 p.m. on Friday, October 8th, of this year, Savage
announced she was leaving The Fan and going to work exclusively
with Oregon Sports Net and begin a broader role with them. As
of now, she’s not sure what that broader role will be, but she’s very
excited about the possibilities and the people she’s working with
there. “Everyone is so positive and fun to be around,” Savage says.
“It’s a great work environment. I mean really, when you have 2 top ten
teams playing each other and you get to host the pregame show, how
could it not be fun?”
For now she’s just taking things as they come. Savage is enjoys what
she’s doing, making it fun, and she loves hosting the Duck games.
“Now that I’m actually hosting the Duck’s,” Savage says. “I really like
the hosting aspect of it all, and I would like to stick with that.”
september 2010 | | haberdashers30
19. Ruining
Fantasy
only surpassed by the thumb wrenched guts of the TV remote as the
screen flickered from game to game every five minutes. There was
no single game to watch each hour, there were three, and they all
counted. The tickie caused a rift in the karmic balance of enjoyment.
And still the screens got bigger, and the viewing became Hi-def.
When the tickies left, the men with the remotes turned to
something else, just as someone might turn to lagers after the IPA
is gone. The man with the remote turns towards something more,
something to make them feel involved with the game. Gone were the
odd choices, the curious gambits based on mildly predicted results.
Vegas based guesses on games lost, the gamer turned to what they
can work with; fantasy.
When a man turns to fantasy football his former poor choices
gambling tickies can be attributed to a lack of options from Vegas.
As a fantasy game, football allows a viewer to have 14-20 players
from all manner of teams. The sheer number of viewable players
means that the remote is battered like a jackhammer on granite. The
images splashed on the screen are somewhat the same, yet they fly
by so rapidly, the experience is a blur and you can’t keep track of the
content. Add to that that the view of the TV, despite being 52’ wide
(with contrast so clear you can read forearm tattoos) is blocked by the
omnipresent laptop and the ubiquitous iPhone. The former of which
is busy checking texts from friends whilst the latter is keeping track
of stats and team standings.
Beer time and ball are an escape. It’s a time to enjoy private time
with old friends, with a side of entertainment. Playing fantasy football
makes watching the game almost the same as having a meeting with
a technology obsessed co-worker. The essential meeting has occurred,
but little of it will ever be remembered.
Fantasy football should be supported and endured in the confines
of a dark basement room by people dressed like Gandolf, or if your
team deems it necessary, a poorly torn, wife beater sweatshirt like
Belichick. Fantasies are to be viewed in the confines of your minds,
not in the garage on the couch, next to the extra fridge.
in the beginning, there was black and white television, with network-preempted games,
on three channels, and a tuning fork channel changer. and it was good. the clock rolled,
and so did the progression of newer more advanced ways to see games.
The sets got larger. The images became mildly colored and
in time the images got sharper. Transmissions became more
regular and Sunday found a reason for existence beyond church. The
idea of actually being able to see a game on the tube came to fruition.
Then came the expansion of channel choices. The arrival of cable
elevated the television from boob-tube to babysitter. And eventually
some madman thought aloud, “There could be a channel that shows
nothing but sports.” And it was good.
Entire rooms in houses and garages became devoted to the tube.
Larger rooms devoted to such matters were deemed man-caves. Some
days could be spent luxuriating with friends watching whichever
game was on at the time. Not quite whole days, but partial days.
And it was good.
Within years, another madman said aloud in charged boardroom
“We could have all sorts of channels about nothing but sports.” And
a global sports conglomerate was manufactured. “All sports, all the
time.” It wasn’t good, it was great.
Eventually there were no missed League games whatsoever. The
open option to watch whatever was being played that day, live, as it
happened, was an act of manna. No network preempted games. No
more “Heidi Bowls,” it became simply non-stop, 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.
news football all under the control of the clicker. These were the
glory days. The days of wine and roses, where men sat where they
liked and drank in revelry with like-minded friends. Occasionally,
they broke bread, steak, and pretzels together as well. Alas man is
fickle, and some men need more. The honeymoon was short-lived for
the believers, or anybody else without the remote in their hands.
When Oregon Lottery played what some people nicknamed
“Tickies,” the man-caves of yore were infiltrated by the game set. The
heat of the action. The thrill of an extra competition on the game.
Not only could one watch as a Lazy-boy coach, he could enjoy the
challenge of a 50/50 bet. ‘The over-under’ played strongly in the
lexicon, but as simple as it seemed, the odds still favored the house.
When every field-goal, touchdown, and interception mattered in
some manner or another, the pain to the non-betting sports fan was
Story by John Swanson
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september 2010 | | haberdashers33
20. Rollin’
All-New Volvo S60
E l G a u c h o P o r t l a n d ’ s
1 0 t h A n n i v e r s a r y
ELGAU
CHO PORTL
AND
2000 - 2010
A n niversary
elgaucho.com
E L G A U C H O P O R T L A N D
319 SW Broadway, • Portland, Oregon 97205 • 503.227.8794
Celebrate with us!
in latin volvo means, “i roll.” geno effler, volvo’s vice president of public affairs, reminded me.
we were standing around a large banquet table in newberg, oregon at the national press
launch event for the 2011 s60. geno looked me in the eye, rather boastfully and said, “i know
nick will use that in his article, won’t you nick?” “well i sort of have to now,” i replied with
a chuckle.
“volvo means ‘i roll’ and the new s60 rolls. sounds good, doesn’t it?” geno beams. i smile in
return. not because the line’s cheesy, which it is, but because he’s right. volvo has made one
hell of a car.
Story by Nick Jaynes
september 2010 | | haberdashers35
with the
21. Behind the wheel of the 2011 Volvo S60, roaring up Mount
Hood, I find myself thinking of the brand-new vehicle I’m
in. Volvo’s new three-liter in-line six cylinder engine, with the help
of a low-pressure turbo puts out 300-horse power and 325 torques.
Effortlessly flying up Oregon’s highest mountain, we ripped past
boulders, trees and other cars. Their blurred images pour across my
window like rain. I’m in awe of this bright copper Swedish machine.
Earlier that morning, as the sun was rising, I had a chance to test
the Pedestrian Detection system with full auto-brake, a world-first in
accident avoidance technology. A single boy-sized mannequin dressed
in Volvo apparel stood alone 20 yards from the car. I was instructed
to drive at him at 15mph and to not swerve or hit the brakes. I hit the
gas and head straight for the gray boy-shaped mass. Inches from the
boy, without any driver input, the S60 brought itself to a complete
and sudden stop, saving the mannequin’s life. My heart racing, my
teeth still clenched, I grin. Volvo has taken another brilliant step
toward their pledge of having zero fatalities or serious injuries in a
Volvo by 2020.
Volvo has a long lineage of safety, reliability, and Scandinavian
sensibility. Volvo has never been known for dynamic driving, striking
good looks, or pure power. The new S60 changes all of that.
At first glance, the new Volvo doesn’t look like a Volvo at all. Gone
are the days of underpowered boxes. The new S60 looks angry but
in control. It’s squat, broad shouldered, and aerodynamic with lines
inspired specifically by the Spa racetrack in Belgium. With a 0.28
drag coefficient, it’s quite slippery as it moves through the air. The
new body has the same relative footprint as the last but since the
wheelbase has been extended, it has much more responsive handling.
Volvo was able to squeeze 2.1 more inches of rear seat legroom than
the previous generation. With the new S60 Volvo adds a best in class
five-year/60,000 mile warranty that covers scheduled maintenance
and wear and tear.
As we crested the top of Highway 26 and headed down the other
side, the seemingly flawless Haldex all wheel drive system came
in handy as I hit wayward patches of gravel. I downshifted the
transmission with the Tiptronic manual shifter setting and turned
up the impressive stereo, which was drawing Neil Young wirelessly
from my iPhone4 through Bluetooth. I accelerated into another
corner, with little body roll. I was cradled by Volvo’s sport inspired
seat, which come standard.
Standard, too, is Volvo’s new “dynamic” chassis. Though the
S60 shares a platform with the XC60, little remained the same in
terms of handling. Volvo management told the S60 team leaders to
build their sportiest car to-date. Springs were shortened, geometry
changed, and bushings stiffened. But the all-new S60 sport steering
wheel is where the driving confidence begins. The steering ratio was
turned up ten-percent for improved driver connectivity and steering
heaviness is also three-way adjustable through the My Car system: all
adding together in one seriously fun corner-taming ride.
Hauling down the backside of Mount Hood, as the road became
windier, I became more daring. And the S60 never missed a step.
There were hints of under-steer at 60mph in 30mph corners but
that was it. The wheels never lost traction, never chirped once. After
one series of especially hairy turns, I found myself shouting, “I can’t
believe I’m driving a Volvo like this.”
Having been a Volvo fan most of my life, driving the new S60 is
a nerve-wracking experience. For years I’ve been secretly ashamed
that Volvos couldn’t hold up to BMWs in performance, touting that
it didn’t matter. But it did. It really did matter, at leas to me. And
now they’ve done it. On September 13th, 2010 K-PAX Racing Volvos
first and second place win at the Manufacturers Challenge at Virginia
International Speedway. Volvo is now a hard-hitting competitor.
My brief sadness lies in the fact that the quintessential Volvo, the
240, is nothing like the S60. Comparing the two is like comparing
the space shuttle to a cheese grater. Gone are the quiet, underpowered
and unassuming, boxy Volvos. Enter the dashing good looks and
athleticism of the S60. That’s not the Volvo I fell in love with. But
the more I drive it, the more I become a convert to the new Volvo.
Ultimately, they say the new S60 is naughty but I think it’s more like
Angelina Jolie, fun, sexy, and kid-friendly. If this is the kind of car Volvo
can build, why did they wait so long? After 220 miles in the new 2011
Volvo S60, I can say one thing for sure: Like Volvo, this S60 rolls.
22. 2011 Lamborghini Gallardo LP 570-4 Blancpain Edition
√ 5.2-liter V10 producing 570 horsepower
√ All wheel drive
√ Curb weight of 2954 pounds {lightest road-going Lamborghini available}
√ 5.18 lbs per horsepower
√ 0-62mph in 3.4 seconds and 124mph in 6.8 seconds
Editors Choice
2011 Lamborghini Gallardo LP 570-4
Blancpain Edition
so you’ve polished your bald head, cleaned out armani of all their orange pants, and
now you need a car that accurately exemplifies your ferociousness. to engorge your
fabulously wealthy groin, here is the new lamborghini gallardo lp 570-4 blancpain
edition. according to lamborghini, this all-wheel-drive italian time machine’s 5.2-litre
v10 will take you from 0 to 62 in 3.4 seconds and onto 124 in 6.8. weighing just 2954
pounds, it has 5.18 lbs per horsepower, and is the lightest road-going lamborghini
available. your 8-year-old self will thank you.
september 2010 | | haberdashers39
23. a classic car: if you’re a car guy you probably have one, and if you don’t have one then you
want one. preferably one you’ve restored, rebuilt, or as some people say “resto-modded” one.
i fall into the latter category.
Ihave been resto-modding a 1971 Mercury Comet for close
to a decade. From the factory, it came as the least powerful
car you could purchase from Mercury. It had a 170-cubic-inch
inline-six-cylinder engine, manual transmission (three on the tree),
and perhaps most frightening of all, manual drum brakes at all
four wheels. How anyone born before 1955 who drove these cars
is still alive and did not become a hobbling, disfigured mess is
something that mystifies me to this day. Having been born in the
Reagan era and raised on a steady diet of power-assisted rack and
pinion steering, four channel anti-lock brakes, constantly variable
automatic transmissions, and more airbags than rhinestones on
Liberace’s Bearcat, I was immediately frightened by the Comet.
I began this build because I really wanted to drive a car that
manufacturers couldn’t build. In the early 1970s insurance
companies, the U.S. government, and OPEC all conspired to take
all the fun out of driving [Editor’s note: this could not be proven].
Many factors lead to the demise of the muscle car: insurance
companies raised premiums for anyone purchasing muscle cars,
the government passed new safety regulation, and the price of gas
skyrocketed.
For the record, Camaros, Mustangs, Cudas, and Javelins are
not now, nor have they ever been, muscle cars. They’re pony cars.
Traditionally, a muscle car is a mid-sized coupe with very few
Comet in Retrograde
Story by Matt Ediger Photos by Daniel Evans
september 2010 | | haberdashers41
24. options and the biggest engine the manufacturer could stuff
between the fender wells. The GTO is arguably the first muscle
car. I will admit some pony cars had muscle. Notably, the Boss 428
Mustang, the Hemi Cuda, and the Central Office Production Order
(COPO) Camaro. (Any American car with a long hood, short deck,
and a vestigial rear seat is a pony car and not a muscle car).
Ford’s economy car, the Falcon, had grown fat during the era of
muscle car wars and was eventually phased out in favor of the mid-
sized Torino. Ford needed a small car similar to what the Mustang
had been in 1964. Thus, the Maverick was born in late 1969. Soon
after, its twin brother, the Comet, was born. It was a sleek, fastback
design, and comparatively light. The Maverick and Comet remained
as Ford’s compact models through the 1970s, finally becoming the
Fairmont and Zephyr in 1978.
There are many ways to build a car; one is to have someone else
do it for you. This is the easiest method but you won’t feel the
same connection to the finished product as you would if you had
built it yourself. Also paying someone to build your resto-mod is
astoundingly expensive. The second is to turn to a company like
Year One and buy every single remanufactured piece to your car
and build from there; but this is only slightly less expensive than
the first method. The third method, and the one I went with, is
buying parts only when absolutely necessary. This method, while
the cheapest, can also be the most time consuming. There’s a lot of
waiting for the right part to appear at a swap meet, junk yard, or
on Craigslist, and more time waiting for AAA to pick your ass up
off the side of the road.
To date, my modifications have included a Ford 302 cubic-inch
V-8 engine, a five-speed manual gearbox, front disc brakes, and a
heavy-duty rear end. The joy of the build is customization. However,
this presents its own unique problems. Adding and subtracting
parts very rarely equals a perfect match. For instance, the engine
I put in the car didn’t have the right oil dipstick location. The
parts engine I had lying around had a useable dipstick location but
required the changing of the timing cover. So off came a perfectly
good timing cover, and water pump all for a dipstick.
After getting everything reassembled I found that the water
pump was incompatible with the radiator. The inlet is pointing
in the wrong direction and it, too, will need changing. The other
big issue I’ve encountered was the clutch system. Instead of using
a cable-actuated clutch, I had the genius idea to use a hydraulic
version. Not only is it a pain to get all the air out of the line, but
it required several custom parts just to get it to fit. You can buy a
complete kit off the Internet, but I, in my infinite wisdom, elected
not to buy the whole kit due to the cost.
Having owned this car for so long and having gone through so
many iterations (at least hypothetically) the thought of actually
driving the car actually seems unreal. I find myself lying in bed at
night wondering, What if I don’t like it? What if, after all this time,
all this work, all the literal blood sweat and tears, I hate driving
the car? It’s something to think about if you’re considering resto-
modding a vintage automobile.
If at all possible, drive a completed version of the car you’re
considering as a project. You’ll want to see if you’ll really be able to
stand driving a car with manual steering, manual brakes, manual
transmission, or any combination of those. If you’re unsure about
your mechanical abilities, have the car you’re considering inspected
by a mechanic. So in the immortal words of Steve Miller, “Buy a
Mercury or two,” because it’s always good to have a parts car.
september 2010 | | haberdashers42
25. The
Incredible
Shrinking
Middle Class
since the spring of 2007 economic news has been almost universally dire. however, the trends
that exploded with the collapse of goldman sachs and have resulted with millions of americans
out of work have their origins in thirty years of economic woes. the reality is that even before
unemployment hit record post war highs, the united states was in the throes of dealing a dwindling
middle class and a declining economy.
Since 1980 America has suffered four major recessions, the first
from 1980-1982 the second a decade later, the third in 2000,
and the current financial crisis. During each of these recessions jobs
have been lost and the American worker has suffered. In theory each
of these recessions has been followed by a recovery, in practice those
recoveries have not truly replaced the jobs that have been lost. When
digging into the statistics a frightening picture emerges.
Other than the value of the stock market, unemployment is
one of the most frequently used economic statistics. As a metric
unemployment has some advantages it matters, as anyone who has
been unemployed for any length of time can testify, further it is a
good indicator of the health of the economy, at least in the short
term. The problem is that since 1980 changes in unemployment have
generally not been connected to changes in wage rates, changes in
fulltime employment and income dispersion (the difference between
the low and high earners). These metrics present a much clearer
picture of what it is like to be an employee and the financial picture
for the average American.
When President Jimmy Carter described the so called American
“crisis of confidence” in 1979 he was describing in part the crisis of the
American middleclass. The crisis began at a time when the majority
of Americans for the first time since the 19th century where no longer
employed in industry and a whole generation of blue collar workers
had skills that were no longer relevant. This trend towards a decline
in industry would shape the next three recessions, and would coincide
or even cause a decline in wages and an increasing reliance on credit.
From 1979 to 1982 the auto industry shed 40 percent of its workers
but only regained about 12% of those same workers by the end of the
decade. New jobs created during the Regan-era recovery tended to
be jobs in the service industry, which expanded at an average rate of
4.7% or 580,000 jobs annually. The problem is that service industry
jobs did not truly replace the lost manufacturing or industrial jobs.
In part because they tended to draw from a different pool of workers,
but more importantly because over 75% of the new jobs had earnings
that fell below the national average.
The decline in wages is in part explained by one of the trends
seen over the entire course of recession and recovery, the increasing
predominance of part-time employment. The average workweek of
a service industry employee at the height of the late 90’s economic
boom was only 32 hours a week as opposed to the 41 hour work week
of a manufacturing employee. This contrast was explicitly seen in a
decrease of about 1 hour per week across all industries. The decline
in hours also explains a decline in the extent and quality of benefits.
Story by Peter Braun Art by John Bohlman
september 2010 | | haberdashers45
27. it’s election year 2010. normally a mid-term election wouldn’t get this much press, but then we
haven’t had the tea party before. they’re fired up, they’re mad as hell, and they got loaded guns
and tea bags hanging from hats. let’s look at a few of these races and a few of these candidates:
Connecticut
senate.
richard blumenthal (d) vs. linda mcmahon (r)
Linda McMahon is the former CEO of the WWE. Now I know
wrestling’s all staged and an act to entertain the kids, but c’mon,
she had to know her past on that show wasn’t going to sit too well
with the voters. I mean, you can’t bash a guy over the head with a
folding chair in front of thousands of screaming fans and then run
for the Senate and think, “No way will that ever come back to haunt
me.” She’s losing by the way, either she’s a bad campaigner (again
wrestling) or voters in Connecticut really aren’t into chairs being hit
over people’s head, which if you think about it, makes no sense, this
is the state that reelected Joe Lieberman in 2006. Talk about getting
hit over the head with folding chair.
Arizona
3rd congressional district.
jon hulburd (d) vs. ben quayle (r)
Four words: Dan Quayle’s son for Congress. Okay, that was five, but
it’s a Quayle, so I wanted to prepare you for these kinds of mistakes.
Yes, there’s about to be a Quayle in Politics again. This means we all
get to enjoy that wonderful “Potato” spelling flub once again. We can
also all hope for a bit of nepotism here. The House of Representatives
and well, I guess the Vice Presidency is proof that an education is
a second or twelfth on the list of requirements when running for
congress. Need proof, watch C-SPAN for ten minutes; it’s like
watching a conversation between Larry, his brother Darryl, and his
other brother Darryl on the old Newhart show. And Vice President
requires even less intellectual prowess. All it entails is kiss babies,
adding unnecessary “E’s” to the end of words, whispering nasty
words around a hot microphone, waiting around for the President to
die, and of course, shooting a man in the face.
So we’ve got another Quayle in our lives. I don’t know if anyone’s
asked Ben Quayle if he can spell “Potato,” but don’t expect to see a
photo op of him and a classroom full of students. Also, maybe he
and Al Franken can do some stand up routines in the Rotunda of the
Capitol Building. Either way, enjoy the gaffes.
Florida
senate.
charlie crist (i) vs. kendrick meek (d) vs.
marco rubio (r)
You’d think having two conservatives, Charlie Crist (I) but formerly
(R) until he lost the primary, and Marco Rubio (actually R) would
offset each other making way for the Democrat Kendrick Meek to
sneak and win this thing. Nope. Rubio’s ahead big, Crist is trailing
in second and Meek is just looking kind of pathetic in last. What can
I tell you about this race? Nothing, I don’t know anything about this
one. I’ve made it a point not to bother with Florida politics since that
whole 2000 ballot debacle. But have you noticed no one’s naming
their kid’s Chad anymore.
Delaware
1st congressional district (no just kidding) senate.
chris coons (d) vs. christine o’donnell (r)
Christine O’Donnell, the new darling of the Tea Party. She’s you,
or rather us. So great, now we’re all witches, and Creationists, because
evolution can’t be real, there are still monkeys roaming the Earth
how can anyone possibly argue against that logic? We can’t name any
decision the Supreme Court has ruled on, and finally we’re all anti-
playing with ourselves. Not since former Surgeon General Joycelyn
Elders suggestion that masturbation be taught in schools as a way of
stopping teen pregnancy, has self-pollution been discussed so much in
politics. Oh well, at least it has drawn attention away from all the tea
bagging that’s been going on in this country.
In no way would a Delaware Senate race garner this much national
attention, except for the many wonderful quotes from Ms. O’Donnell.
CNN aired the debate between O’Donnell and her opponent Chris
Coons, granted it was preempted by the last of the Chilean miners
being rescued, but still, they tried. And O’Donnell is getting crushed.
Every poll consistently has her down around 20 points or so. In no way
is this even a race. This is like the New England Patriots taking on
a Pee Wee football team and not letting up because of their size, age,
or rudimentary skills because they just learned how to play the game
yesterday; but there’s still that part of you that can’t stop watching.
Story by Peter Barna Art by John Bohlman
New York
governor.
andrew cuomo (d) vs. carl paladino (r)
Son of the much beloved former Governor Mario Cuomo, Andrew
Cuomo, is easily defeating his opponent without seemingly any effort.
The more Carl Paladino talks about gay pride parades and the small
Speedos’ they wear while gyrating down the street, the less Cuomo
has to do anything. This race is a solid victory for the Democrats
and not really a crushing defeat for Republican’s (although Paladino
is getting crushed) Republican’s didn’t really stand a chance against
Cuomo. This race was over the minute Democrats convinced
Governor David Paterson not to seek a second term.
Kentucky
senate.
jack conway (d) vs. rand paul (r)
MSNBC tried real hard to take out Rand Paul. But while the race
is sort of tight, it’s still going to Paul according to fivethirtyeight.
com. I just have one word of advice for Paul, keep your damn mouth
shut and you’re a lock. If you keep talking you’re going to shoot
yourself again like that whole Civil Rights vote thing, and while
I’m surprised no one’s made much of a fuss over his suggestion
of raising the retirement age to delay social security benefits, it
could still be damaging. Oh, and one last thing, Aqua Buddha. It’s
the funniest or the oddest thing this campaign season, oddest and
funniest goes to everything about Christine O’Donnell, but in any
other year, Aqua Buddha, would definitely be worth a few spots on
the late night shows.
Oregon
senate.
ron wyden (d) vs. somebody (r)
Incumbent Democrat Ron Wyden is running against no one
knows who, the website fivethirtyeight.com predicts 99.8 percent
Wyden will win reelection. That .2 percent is on the off chance the
state is hit by a massive blizzard just moments after some nut votes
for himself as a write-in and drops off his ballot.
Oregon
governor.
john kitzhaber (d) vs. chris dudley (r)
Chris Dudley, former NBA player with a lower free throw
percentage than Shaquille O’Neal (yes, I checked), is running against
former Governor John Kitzhaber. One of these two candidates will
be replacing pretty good bowler, Ted Kulongoski, who leaves with a
legacy of, I couldn’t tell you because I didn’t see him do anything, I
didn’t even see him go bowling ever. Looking like a Dudley victory
here, although some polls show things tightening. If Dudley prevails
however, the Democratic controlled legislature in Salem is going
to block every one of Dudley’s bills, why? Retribution for what the
Republican controlled congress did when Kitzhaber was Governor.
Enjoy experiencing what it’s like having Oregon be ungovernable
Chris. Payback’s a bitch.
California
governor.
jerry brown (d) vs. meg whitman (r)
Replacing Arnold Schwarzenegger as governor is impossible…
okay Sylvester Stallone could, but he’d just make all the judges in the
state resemble his character Judge Dredd, because that’s all he’s doing
these days, making new Rocky and Rambo movies when he should
just leave them alone. Former Governor Jerry Brown is facing off
against former eBay CEO, Meg Whitman and her illegal immigrant
servants, yikes. This one’s leaning Democrat, so there’s little chance
of California’s economic problems being fixed by auctioning off all
the state’s assets on eBay.
Washington
governor.
Position not scheduled in 2010.
Yeah, I know, Washington doesn’t have their governor’s seat in play
in this year’s election cycle, but with all these former Governor’s on
the west coast running again, I just thought I’d give former Governor
Gary Locke a shout out.
So there you have it, a few of the more entertaining and high
profile campaign races going on this year. This has been one of the
more talked about mid-term elections in our nation’s history. I blame
the Tea Party for this. I miss mid-term elections where most voters
aren’t even aware there’s an election going on until two hours before
the polls close and it’s a mad dash to find out who’s running and what
issues to vote “yes” or “no”. This year, voter turnout might be in the
low to mid 40% range, that’s the kind of turnout you expect to see in
a Presidential year with two lukewarm candidates, you know, Bush
vs. Gore. What happened to apathy?
september 2010 | | haberdashers49
Where’s the Beef?
28. 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
KEVIN KIRKPATRICK
New York Life Insurance Agent
4850 SW Scholls Ferry Rd.
Portland, Oregon 97214
P| 503-341-5879
CINEMATOUCH
www.cinematouch.com
402 N. State St.
Lake Oswego 97234
P| 503-675-1791
SHERRIES JEWELRY BOX
www.sherriesjewelrybox.com
12425 SW Main St.
Tigard 97223
P| 503-598-0144
PORCELLI’S
6500 SW Virginia Ave.
Portland 97239
P| 503-245-2260
JUDITH ARNELL JEWELERS
www.juditharnell.com
320 NW 10th
Portland 97209
P| 503-227-3437
KELLER WILLIAMS
9755 SW Barnes Rd.
Portland 97225
P| 503-422-5185
GANT
ORIGINAL PENGUIN
BEN SHERMAN
ZACHARY PRELL
TED BAKER
A DV ERTISER IN DE X
FE ATUR ED BR A N DS
STOR E LOCATIONS
FREEMAN MOTOR COMPANY
www.freemanmotor.com
7524 SW Macadam Ave.
Portland 97219
P| 888-400-3439
HERON LAKES GOLF COURSE
www.heronlakesgolf.com
3500 N Victory Blvd.
Portland 97217
P| 503-289-1818
ANDY & BAX
ARMY SURPLUS & OUTDOOR
www.andyandbax.com
324 SE Grand Ave.
Portland 97214
P| 503-234-7538
PEARL SPECIALTY
www.pearlspecialty.com
900 Northwest Lovejoy
Portland 97214
P| 503-477-8604
HAIR M
www.hairmgrooming.com
101 SW Main St.
Portland 97204
P| 503-517-0570
HABERDASHERS MEN’S SHOP
Lake View Village
310 N State St. #108
Lake Oswego, OR 97034
P| 971.206.0002
lvv@haberdashersonline.com
HABERDASHERS MEN’S SHOP
Bridgeport Village
7453 SW Bridgeport Road
Tigard, OR 97224
P| 503.748.1582
bpv@haberdashersonline.com
1
2
6
99W
Cedar Mill
Beaverton
Tigard
1
3
9
5
10
8
2
4
7
405
84
I-5
99E
43
Downtown Portland
Lake Oswego
26
217
11
1
2
29.
30. JUDITH ARNELL
J E WE L E R S
Located in the Pearl District: 320 NW 10th Avenue ~ Between Everett and Flanders
phone: 503.227.3437 www.JudithArnellJewelers.com
Exclusively available at
