Forgiveness means different things to different people. But in general, it involves an intentional decision to let go of resentment and anger. The act that hurt or offended you might always be with you.The three types of forgiveness are: exoneration, forbearance and release. Let's take each in turn. Exoneration is the closest to what we usually think of when we say “forgiveness”.

1. Forgiveness

2. The evolution of forgiveness
 According to a model of forgiveness proposed by evolutionary theorists these
forgiveness systems regulate individual motivation toward a transgressor by
weighing the many factors that influence both the potential gains of future
interaction and the likelihood of future harm. Depending on the outcome of these
computations, the victim may experience forgiveness.
 Forgiveness is understood in this model as a shift in interpersonal motivation,
marked by reduced retaliatory sentiment, decreased avoidant sentiment, and/or
increased goodwill toward the transgressor. This shift in interpersonal motivation
has the ultimate purpose of realizing long-term benefits of continued, productive
interaction, and may be contingent upon improved treatment by the transgressor.

3. What is forgiveness?
 Forgiveness is a complex neurocognitive and emotional process.
 Forgiveness has been a fundamental issue in many religious traditions
 Forgiveness has been indreasingly recognized as an important aspect of
psychotherapy.
 A complete understanding of forgiveness requires knowledge of its underlying
mechanisms.

4. Neurological basis of forgiveness
Systems Functions
Autonomic Nervous System • Arousal (sympathetic)
• Quiescent (parasympathetic)
The lymbic system • The emotional controller
• Amygdala: the watchdog
• Hippocampus: the diplomat
• Hypothalamus: the master controller

5. Memory and Forgiveness/Revenge
 Intuitively necessary
 An individual that can not carry the injury in memory for any significant time
cannot get revenge on the perpetrator of the injury.
 Forgiveness is the foreswearing of resentment which is differentiated from
forgetting which just happens.

6. Revenge vs Forgiveness

8. Forgiveness in islam
 The concept of forgiveness in the Qur’an is expressed in three terms, pardon ( ‫عفو‬
)
,
excuse ( ‫صفح‬
)
, and forgive ( ‫غفر‬
)
.
1. (
‫عفو‬
) means to pardon, to excuse for a fault or an offence or a discourtesy, waiver of
punishment, and amnesty.
2. ( ‫صفح‬
) means to turn away from sin or a misdeed, ignore, etc.
3. ( ‫غفر‬
) or ( ‫مغفرة‬
) means to cover, to forgive, and to remit. As the Quran says,
 ‫رحيم‬ ‫غفور‬ ‫هللا‬ ‫فإن‬ ‫وتغفروا‬ ‫وتصفحوا‬ ‫تعفوا‬ ‫ن‬ِ‫وإ‬
 “But if you pardon, overlook, and forgive their faults, then Allah is truly All-Forgiving,
Most Merciful.” (64:14)
 It is said, “to err is human and to forgive is divine.” Both parts of this statement are very
true. As human beings we are responsible, but we do also make mistakes and require
forgiveness.

9. Measuring and cultivating forgiveness
 The 15-item Bolton Forgiveness Scale (BFS) assesses dispositional forgiveness
Strategies for cultivating forgiveness
 Develop a forgiving heart
 Forgive yourself
 When forgiveness is hard, call upon other strengths
 Find meaning in your suffering
 Develop a forgiving mind through empathy
 Address your inner pain
 Become “forgivingly fit”
 Know what forgiveness is and why it matters

10. Attachment

11. What is attachment ?

12. Attachment
 Attachment is defined as a “lasting psychological connectedness
between human beings” (Bowlby, 1969 and may be considered
interchangeable with concepts such as “affectional bond” and
“emotional bond.”
 A strong & affectionate tie we have, with special people in our lives
gives us pleasure whenever we interact with them and provides a
sense of comfort in times of stress.

13. Attachment
 Attachment Theory focused on the relationships and bonds between
people, particularly long-term relationships including those between
a parent and child and between romantic partners. According to
attachment theory, “the presence of a principal attachment figure as
a source of emotional security significantly affects human
development. During infancy, the caregiver’s role is to provide a
secure base from which the child can explore his/her surroundings.
The caregiver’s response to this need will affect the child’s
attachment behaviors” (Bettman and Jasperson, 2010).

14. Neurobiology of Intrapersonal connection
 Interpersonal neurobiology (IPNB) or relational neurobiology is
an interdisciplinary framework that was developed in the 1990s
by Daniel J. Siegel , who sought to bring together scientific
disciplines to demonstrate how the mind, brain , and relationships
integrate. IPNB views the mind as a process that regulates the flow
of energy and information through it’s neurocircuitry , which is then
shared and regulated between people through engagement,
connection, and communication.

15. Neurobiology of Intrapersonal connection
 In an individual’s mind, integration involves the linkage of separate
aspects of mental processes to each other, such as thought with
feeling, bodily sensation with logic. For the brain, integration means
that separated areas with their unique functions, in the skull and
throughout the body, become linked to each other through synaptic
connections. These integrated linkages enable more intricate
functions to emerge—such as insight, empathy, intuition, and
morality. A result of integration is kindness, resilience, and health.
Terms for these three forms of integration are a coherent mind,
empathic relationships, and an integrated brain (Siegel’s, 2014).

16. Neurobiology of Intrapersonal connection
 Another major concept in the emerging field of Interpersonal
Neurobiology is the concept of “neuroplasticity,” which entails the
rewiring of the brain through the use of mindfulness practices, or,
what Dr. Dan Siegel refers to as “Mindsight.” At its core,
interpersonal neurobiology holds that we are ultimately who we are
because of our relationships. We simply can’t grow and evolve
without intimate relationships (Seigel’s, 2014).

17. Neurobiology of Intrapersonal connection
 According to IPNB, our relationships have the potential to literally
change the brain, particularly the most intimate ones, for example,
with our primary care givers or romantic partners.

18. ATTACHMENT STYLES

19. AGENDA
03 Introduction
04 Theory
06 Types
11 Development in Early Childhood
14
Attachment styles manifesting
Adulthood

20. INTRODUCTION
John Bowlby’s work on attachment theory dates back to
the 1950’s. Based on his theory, four adult attachment
styles were identified.
Attachment styles develop early in life and often remain
stable over time. People with insecure attachment styles
might have to put some intentional effort into resolving
their attachment issues, in order to become securely
attached.
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21. Attachment THEORY
John Bowlby

22. What is attachment theory?
Attachment theory has a long history and has been used as a
basis for continuous research. The first step is to get
acquainted with the basics and understand the different
attachment styles.
According to psychiatrist and psychoanalyst John Bowlby,
one’s relationship with their parents during childhood has an
overarching influence on their social, intimate
relationships and even relationships at work in the future.
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23. “your early relationship with your
caregivers sets the stage for how
you will build relationships as an
adult.”
John Bowlby

24. TYPES OF ADULT ATTACHMENT STYLES
1.Anxious (also referred to as Preoccupied)
2.Avoidant (also referred to as Dismissive)
3.Disorganized (also referred to as Fearful-Avoidant)
4.Secure
Before getting into what characterizes the four groups, it
might be useful to point out how attachment styles develop in
children.
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25. How do attachment styles develop in early
childhood?
The behavior of the primary caregivers (usually one’s parents)
contributes to and forms the way a child perceives close
relationships.
The child is dependent on his or her caregivers and seeks
comfort, soothing, and support from them. If the child’s
physical and emotional needs are satisfied, he or she becomes
securely attached.
This, however, requires that the caregivers offer a warm and caring
environment and are attuned to the child’s needs, even when
these needs are not clearly expressed. Mis attunement on the side
of the parent, on the other hand, is likely to lead to insecure
attachment in their children.
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26. Attachment styles manifesting
Adulthood
John Bowlby

27. 1. Anxious / Preoccupied
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o For adults with an anxious attachment style, the partner is often the
‘better half.’
o The thought of living without the partner (or being alone in general)
causes high levels of anxiety. People with this type of attachment typically
have a negative self-image, while having a positive view of others.
o The anxious adult often seeks approval, support, and responsiveness
from their partner.
o People with this attachment style value their relationships highly, but are
often anxious and worried that their loved one is not as invested in the
relationship as they are.
o A strong fear of abandonment is present, and safety is a priority. The
attention, care, and responsiveness of the partner appears to be the
‘remedy’ for anxiety.
o On the other hand, the absence of support and intimacy can lead the
anxious / preoccupied type to become more clinging and demanding,
preoccupied with the relationship, and desperate for love.

28. 2. Avoidant / Dismissive
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o The dismissing / avoidant type would often perceive themselves as ‘lone
wolves’: strong, independent, and self-sufficient; not necessarily in terms of
physical contact, but rather on an emotional level.
o These people have high self-esteem and a positive view of themselves.
o The dismissing / avoidant type tend to believe that they don’t have to be in a
relationship to feel complete.
o They do not want to depend on others, have others depend on them, or seek
support and approval in social bonds.
o Adults with this attachment style generally avoid emotional closeness. They also
tend to hide or suppress their feelings when faced with a potentially
emotion-dense situation.

29. 3. Disorganized / Fearful-Avoidant
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o The disorganized type tends to show unstable and ambiguous behaviors in
their social bonds.
o For adults with this style of attachment, the partner and the relationship
themselves are often the source of both desire and fear.
o Fearful-avoidant people do want intimacy and closeness, but at the same time,
experience troubles trusting and depending on others.
o They do not regulate their emotions well and avoid strong emotional
attachment, due to their fear of getting hurt.

30. 4. Secure Attachment
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 The three attachment styles covered so far are insecure attachment styles.
They are characterized by difficulties with cultivating and maintaining
healthy relationships.
o In contrast, the secure attachment style implies that a person is comfortable
expressing emotions openly.
o Adults with a secure attachment style can depend on their partners and in
turn, let their partners rely on them.
o Relationships are based on honesty, tolerance, and emotional closeness.
o The secure attachment type thrive in their relationships, but also don’t fear
being on their own. They do not depend on the responsiveness or
approval of their partners, and tend to have a positive view of themselves
and others.

31. RESEARCH ON ATTACHMENT STYLES
BOWLBY'S EVOLUTIONARY
THEORY OF ATTACHMENT
o children come into the world
biologically pre-programmed to
form attachments with others,
because this will help them to
survive. A child has an innate (i.e.
inborn) need to attach to one main
attachment figure.
DSM 5 & ATTACHMENT
STYLES
o The DSM-V recognizes 2 distinct
forms of attachment disorder:
reactive attachment disorder and
disinhibited social engagement
disorder. The first involves the
inability to attach to a preferred
caregiver, and the second involves
indiscriminate sociability and
disinhibited attachment behaviors.
ROOTS OF ATTACHMENT
ISSUES
o Attachment issues typically result
from an early separation from
parents, lengthy hospitalization,
incidents of trauma, instances of
neglect, or an otherwise troubled
childhood. These issues may have
an affect on a child's ability to form
healthy, secure attachments later in
life
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32. how can we make a meaningful
relationship connections with our love
one’s
1. Communicate.
2. Make Eye Contact.
3. Schedule Quality Time.
4. Listen With Your Heart.
5. Actively Love.
6. Communicate Consciously.
7. Explore together.
8. Be present & focused on each other’s.
9. Be Authentic.
10. Do things together.
11. Perform small, sweet acts.

33. Positive Environment

34. Positive environment
 Positive parenting
 Positive schooling
 Positive work environment
 Positive community
 Positive ageing

35. Positive parenting
Positive parenting is about showing children love, warmth and kindness. It's about
guiding children to act the way you want by encouraging and teaching them. Positive
parenting involved
 Contact with child's surrounding world.
 Understands children's developmental needs and responds appropriately.
 Rewards and reinforcers
 Focus on strengths instead of weaknesses.
 Individual rights.
 Validate your child's effort.
 Modelling Support and encourage

37. Positive schooling
 Positive education is defined as education for both traditional skills and for
happiness. It is an approach to education that incorporates student wellbeing and
virtues as learning goals, besides academic achievement.
 A positive schooling climate exists when all members of the school
1. feel safe,
2. included,
3. Accepted
4. actively promote positive behaviors and interactions.

39. Positive work environment
 Your work environment can have a positive or negative effect on your daily life.
“Positive” work environments can be defined as those workplaces where there is trust,
cooperation, safety, risk-taking support, accountability, and equity.
Some characteristics of positive work environment are :
 Productive atmosphere
 Open and honest communication
 Compassionate team members
 Positive reinforcement
 Growth opportunities
 Positive thinking
 Good work-life balance.

41. Positive community
 Positive communities are groups that inspire their members in ways that promote a sense of self-
discovery and group connection, encourage members to express their beliefs and values and build
relationships with others.
 A good community is one where neighbors take pride in their living environment, respecting and
supporting one another regardless of age, gender, race or creed.
 A good community is a cohesive, safe, confident, prosperous and happy place. It is free of poverty
and crime, providing a high quality of life for everyone that lives there.
 Positive community helps you to decrease in depression and anxiety-related symptoms. Increased
wellbeing. Greater life satisfaction.

42. Positive aging
 The Positive Psychology Institute defines it as, “The process of maintaining a
positive attitude, feeling good about yourself, keeping fit and healthy, and
engaging fully in life as you age.
 Aging is a journey inevitable for everyone.
6 POSITIVE AGEING TIPS FROM THE WORLD’S BLUE ZONES
1. Incorporate Physical Activity Into Your Daily Routine
2. Maintain A Healthy Social Life
3. Give As Much Time As You Can To Family
4. Have A Clear Purpose
5. Find a way of relieving stress
6. Go green with your diet

43.  Cohesive collaborative environment
 Role of Dawah
 Traits of Happiness and well being in the Islam
Table of content

44. Cohesive collaborative environment
 Being a cohesive team means that not only are group goals met but everyone feels like they
have contributed to the overall success of the group. Individuals on a cohesive team tend to
focus more on the entire group rather than their individual selves and are more motivated to
work towards the team goal.

45. How do we achieve social cohesion
 Human Dignity
Islam teaches all humans are equal before God, regardless of race, class or nationality.
 Human Cooperation
Allah said:
And cooperate in righteousness and piety, but do not cooperate in sin and aggression. And fear
Allah; indeed, Allah is severe in penalty [Qur'an 5: 2].
 Freedom of religion
ِ‫ين‬ِِّ‫د‬‫ٱل‬ ‫ى‬ِ‫ف‬ ‫آ‬‫ه‬‫ا‬‫آ‬‫ر‬ ۡ‫ك‬ِ‫إ‬ ‫آ‬
‫َل‬
There is no compulsion in religion”
(Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:256)

46. Role of Dawah
 In Islamic theology, the purpose of dawah is to invite people, Muslims and non-Muslims,
to understand the worship of God as expressed in the Qur'an and the sunnah of Muhammad
and to inform them about Muhammad.

47. ‫آ‬‫ى‬ِ‫ه‬ ‫ى‬ِ‫ت‬َّ‫ٱل‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫م‬ُ‫ه‬ْ‫ل‬ِ‫د‬ٰ‫آـ‬‫ج‬‫آ‬‫و‬ ۖ ِ‫ة‬‫آ‬‫ن‬ ‫آ‬
‫آس‬‫ح‬ْ‫ٱل‬ ِ‫ة‬‫آ‬‫ظ‬ِ‫ع‬ْ‫و‬‫آ‬‫م‬ْ‫آٱل‬‫و‬ ِ‫ة‬‫آ‬‫م‬ْ‫ك‬ِ‫ح‬ْ‫ٱل‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫آ‬‫ك‬ِِّ‫ب‬‫آ‬‫ر‬ ِ‫يل‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫آ‬
‫س‬ ٰ
‫ى‬‫آ‬‫ل‬ِ‫إ‬ ُ‫ع‬ْ‫د‬‫ٱ‬
ُ‫ه‬ ‫آ‬‫ك‬َّ‫ب‬‫آ‬‫ر‬ َّ‫ن‬ِ‫إ‬ ۚ ُ‫ن‬ ‫آ‬
‫س‬ْ‫ح‬‫آ‬‫أ‬
‫ن‬‫آ‬‫ع‬ َّ‫ل‬‫آ‬‫ض‬ ‫آن‬‫م‬ِ‫ب‬ ُ‫م‬‫آ‬‫ل‬ ْ‫ع‬‫آ‬‫أ‬ ‫آ‬‫و‬
‫ينآ‬ِ‫د‬‫آ‬‫ت‬ْ‫ه‬ُ‫م‬ْ‫ٱل‬ِ‫ب‬ ُ‫م‬‫آ‬‫ل‬ ْ‫ع‬‫آ‬‫أ‬ ‫آ‬‫و‬ُ‫آه‬‫و‬ ۖ ‫ۦ‬
ِ‫ه‬ِ‫ل‬‫ي‬ِ‫ب‬ ‫آ‬
‫س‬
١٢٥
Call to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good preaching.

48. Traits of Happiness and well being in the Islam
In the Quran:
God refers to happiness with the permanent state in Paradise and gives instructions not to find temporary
happiness in this world because the happiness of this world is far little than the happiness of Paradise.
 Love Allah
 Avoid comparisons
 Smile, even when you don’t feel like it
 Show gratitude
 Be positive

49. Thank you!