Too stupid to live

1. Makers and Finders
A Cursed Baby Boom Challenge
Chapter 17
I woke up this morning with a craving. No, not that kind of craving. We're not stupid.
Birth control is not optional at this time. No, my craving was to redeem those festival tickets.
Just a few more rounds of ice skating, and we'd have enough to get the small ice rink, which is
really as big an ice rink as a family needs, right? And free! And placeable!
With only three points left to go on Glassblowing, I was sure I'd make it by tomorrow night,
and decided to go for it. This morning would be spent at the festival grounds (still open, even
after Snowflake Day. Yay!), skating and skating and skating and skating, and see just what I
could get with my tickets.

2. One time round the rink equals five tickets. So, I'd go one round, get off, go around again,
get off, go around again, until noon. Then, I'd surely be able to afford the small ice rink, and
some other goodies, besides.
I got a big distracted by this idiot. She is wearing a swimsuit in the snow, giving birth in the
park. She is too stupid to live, and her baby will surely be taken by social services, or die. Too
bad. Not my problem. I am going to be SUCH a good mommy! But first I have to build and
furnish the house, so I redeemed the tickets I already had, and left for glassblowing.

3. See, now, if the alarm had been functioning, maybe someone could have called the fire
station to ask for emergency transport to the hospital.
I got a small ice skating rink, Snowy the Snowbear, and some mistletoe, for my lover and
me to enjoy. Maybe we could incorporate it into the wedding. You know, we're coming along
nicely, and will be able to start our family soon.

4. Matt had just fixed the alarm, when it went off, plunging the thing back to zero percent.
And the engine, which had been at sixty percent was down to zero, as well! What the whatnow?!
Still, it was an emergency, and maybe a chance for Matt to save some sims, so he hoped he'd
be able to get there in time, even if he had to run all the way.
Funnily enough, although it showed zero percent in the moment before he got into his fire-
fighting gear, he was still able to drive it to the emergency, and since it was fully upgraded, it got
there quickly. Alright! He was starting to figure this stuff out.

5. “Alright! There are four trapped sims inside! Finally, I get to be a real hero and save some
sims!” That's My Man.
“Thank the Watcher I didn't have to drag this long hose by hand! And that there was a
hydrant nearby. And that I have completed my training on how to use this without squirting
myself in the face with high-pressure water. That would be bad.”

6. Just then, Chester decided to go home. Maybe Matt could rescue five sims today?
Honestly, the stupid in this town is worse than Champs Les Sims.
“Oh, no! My house is on fire! I can't get in!”
Ya think? OK, so at least you're not so stupid as to hobble in, with a cane no less, right into
a raging inferno. Now why don't you show some real brains and back off a bit, instead of
blocking the entrance to the front door? Hmmm?

7. When a man in black rubber comes charging in your direction, wielding an axe, you get out
of the way. Chester may have been stupid, but not too stupid to live. Yay!
After breaking down the door, like a badass, Matt ran in to find Clovis Badass and Ranger
Stardew, panicking like pansies. He was tempted to let them continue their synchronized panic
dancing, as it was a thing of beauty to behold, with their perfect rhythm and form (did they
rehearse this?), but being a true hero, he convinced them to run outside, instead.

8. “Hey, Mister, why did you break down my door?” yelled the teenager.
“Because the house is on fire, and you locked it, and I needed to get you out of here.”
“The house is on fire? Oooooh, ummmm, uhhhhh, that might just have been me. Look,
don't tell my Dad about the wacky backy, OK?”
“Look, kid, I just need to get you to safety and put out the rest of the fire. If you left a
cigarette or any other smoking utensil unattended, so that it could start the fire, that is something
for your parents to address. I put out fires. I don't discipline other people's children.”
“So, you won't tell them?”
“I will investigate the cause of the fire, and put it in my report. Your parents may choose to
read the report, as it will be a matter of public record. In fact, anyone, including your school
principal, or even your classmates, will be able to access the public record.”
“You mean EVERYONE will know? Oh, Watcher, just smite me right now!”
“She can smite you once I get you outside. Now, are you going to run outside, under your
own steam, or do I have to put you over my shoulder and carry you? I recommend the former, as
my shoulder is rather hard, and not very comfortable when it's digging into your stomach.”
“Uhhh, I'll run, thanks.”
“That's fine. You can finish panicking outside.”
“OK.”

9. One more sim to rescue, and My Man Matt has saved the day! I love being with such a
hero! I'm definitely going to give him some extra good loving tonight. Thanks to some random
skill boosting from elixirs, I happen to be just a bit better at Kama Simtra than he is. I have one
more point, and know some things he doesn't. Time for some “language lessons” tonight. Hehe.
My Man did so well today that he was awarded $1480, and promoted to Assistant Fire
Chief, on the spot! I could not be prouder!
Also, DANG! He looks good in that new uniform.

10. “Sir, are you the father of the young woman upstairs?”
“No. I mean, I have a kid, but not her.”
“Do you know the girl's parents?”
“Oh, yeah, sure.”
“Then would you please tell them it would be in their daughter's best interests if they were to
request the public records on this fire? Give it a few hours, though, because I have to go back to
the station and write up the report.”
Ranger just looked on with a knowing expression. Hmmm, was he the source of the wacky
backy? He did like to grow things...

11. When he got back to the station, his shift was over, so he decided to take a bit of a break and
tell his co-workers about his derring do. Jules thought it was funny, for some reason, but that
was OK with Matt. He likes to entertain, and so he started telling jokes and basically turned the
whole story into a big comedy routine.
I reached level 9 in Glassblowing, and just kept right on trucking toward 10. I'd probably
have to stop, for curfew, before I made it, but Saturday was a whole day, and more than enough
time for me.

12. Matt had a wish to gain a charisma skill point, and was almost there, so he took the time to
use the station's mirror. He had less than a point left on handiness, so tomorrow would be the big
push to get our house built and “furnished.” For now, he just wanted to reward himself with
some easy aspiration points.
That was his plan, but at curfew time, he found that he still had a way left to go. Well, it
would be easier tomorrow, after he got his handiness skill maxed. It was time to go home and
enjoy the frozen privacy of our igloo.

13. Matt spent a bit of time, safe at home, to work on his charisma with me, but I just couldn't
wait. I had to give him his reward. He could tell me flirtatious jokes in the morning.
Well, readers, have you ever had a fantastic day where you saved some sims' lives? Or
maybe you've encountered some sims that were just too stupid for words? Tell me your stories in
your comments. Who knows? Maybe I'll use them in a novel. I did roll the wish to learn
writing skill, after all, and I could use some fodder for a humor novel. Or a drama, for that
matter. Maybe a romance... Sexy as woohoo fire-fighting hero gets the girl, despite the antics of
her stupid relations. Sounds like a plot to me!