7+1 Mistakes Managers Make and Lose their Sleep at Night

7+1 Mistakes
Most Managers Make
&
Lose Their Sleep at Night
Michalis Kourtidis, BA, MA, Chartered MCIPD

LERIO CONSULTING Ltd.
Helps People’s Potential Stand Out!
Birmingham, UK

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© 2012 Michalis Kourtidis

The right of Michalis Kourtidis to be identified as the author of this work is asserted world-wide. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be
produced, stored or transmitted in any form by any means, electrical, mechanical or otherwise without the prior written consent of the author.

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"The issue is where your eyes meet the sky from.
I’ve seen it right from the middle of the sea.”

-- Odysseus Elytis (Nobel in Poetry, 1979)

[The obvious is limitless, if you’re prepared to look at it that way]

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Table of Contents

Rationale…………………………………………………………………………4

The Mistakes…………………………………………………………………….6

The most critical of them all………………………………………………..19

Possibilities & Benefits………………………………………………………..21

What to do?.............................................................................................25

Who’s the author?.…………………………………………………………….27

Bio……………………………………………………………………………….24

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Rationale

Of the most frequent discussions I’m having lately with senior managers and top
executives who work in almost all kind of industries, one is recurring:

“I have so many critical decisions to make every day; that’s too stressful… I must
have forgotten something … and the next day there’s always more to come…”

That creates a daily worrying feeling that’s enough to keep you awake at night,
doesn’t it? Especially in days of economic turbulence people expect you as a
manager to know and control and direct everything from A to Z, to keep costs
down and profits up every year, quarter, month, week if possible. Isn’t that so
burning?

And then every single source of advice you read on books and magazines tells
you:

…be resilient

…be tolerant

…be relentless

…be organised

…as if you were not aware of what was needed already. How would you have
managed to climb the career ladder then if you didn’t possess those qualities
already?

However, oftentimes you are pushed by forces you can’t explain easily to do the
exact opposite of what your knowledge and experience tells you to; like when you

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try to speak a foreign language and even though you know you should use past
perfect your tongue goes to past simple! And it’s this feeling of “remorse” – the
Erinnyes – that revolves in when daylight’s gone and bedtime is coming. Obviously,
the more critical the decision, the bigger the “remorse” becomes.

The purpose of this report is not to analyse my thoughts in detail; I could write a
separate book on each one of them if I were to go deeper. Rather it is to make you
seriously think the things you could do differently and would change your business
and personal life forever. Then, realising how much better your life could be if
changed, decide to take charge of yourself and change!

I’ve listed and categorised the 7 most important people management mistakes I
believe active managers make. They are presented through real cases I’ve come
across during my 15 years in management consultancy and follow a sequence of
thought to make understanding easier. This sequence begins from the outside and
leads to the inside of human behaviour. The reason I did that is because it’s easier
to first observe what’s happening on the outside – what sort of attitudes and
behaviours you show towards people – and then go backwards and inwards
following and exploring the path towards your inner self. Ultimately, what’s
happening inside governs the attitudes and behaviours you project onto others.

At the end of the list I’ve added the most crucial mistake a lot of managers tend to
make which largely affects their decision to either keep oppressing themselves or
jump on the other bank of the river. I’d think that reading those lines would set you
thinking on what you lose and what you could gain by following a different path.

Let’s take things from the beginning then…

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The Mistakes

1. You take things too personally

Case 1. Your PA comes in your office telling you that you’ll possibly miss the
meeting with the Regional Sales Manager. That’s because the latest
telephone call with a company’s major supplier lasted much longer than
expected. You immediately think that comment was a direct blame to you
because you’re out of touch with business schedules. You tell your PA
off for talking to you like that, explain how important that call was and ill-
humoured tell her never to do that again. You then order her to rearrange
the meeting with the regional sales manager; you also emphatically let
her know that it’s her responsibility to achieve it and should do everything
in her power to make it happen! …You then carry on sorting papers on
your desk and completing a spreadsheet on your laptop in a rush. The
woman leaves the office with a bowed head and what can be interpreted
as a sad expression in her face; she was lost in …interpretation! A few
hours later you see her through the office window and think to yourself:
“I’m such an idiot! Why did I talk to her like that?”

Case 2. You’ve just finished working on a demanding 6-month project to raise
the profile of your company and gain a number of new clients. Results
show you’ve ticked all boxes and quotas have been reached. You stand
in front of the board of directors to present your work. The directors are
listening carefully, but look expressionless. After finishing the

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presentation the president says that although figures look OK the
company is still failing to position itself as No1 of the competition! More
things need to be done. You immediately feel intimidated and like you’re
being blamed for doing an inadequate job. You think you’re not worth
enough, at least not as much as the “significant others” expect of you.
You leave the room with your head and spirits down. When you go home
you sit on the couch and think: “Am I mad? I’m devastated as if I’ve failed
my task! As if the president was blaming the company’s failure on me!
What’s wrong with me?”

In both cases you perceived interpretations as realities. Interpretations however
are by definition subjective. Consequently, they are influenced by a number of

…thoughts and ideas,

…beliefs,

…temporary dispositions,

…habits,

…pressures,

…knowledge and

…negligence.

Very often being over stressed – due to critical decisions you have to take –
means preventing reality from smacking you in the face when you need it.
What happens is that reality’s place is taken by perceived facts as they serve
your need to be either victimised or excused. Same way, when you’re anxious
about the outcome of your work and your image, reality becomes distorted; you
subsequently fail to understand and interpret important information
appropriately.

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Also, fear of failure usually prevents you from developing the right relations with
your colleagues. Sometimes you may appear too friendly, while some other
times too polemic and confrontational. Again, the consequence is a distorted
view of what’s happening. In all cases, one of the main reasons why you take
things too personally is because

…you think all facets of interaction affect your being

…you put yourself in the centre of attention that being either positive or
negative.

However, deep down in your psyche, you know that not everything in your
office revolves around you, don’t you?

2. You work with the wrong people

Case 3. High season is approaching. Orders have started coming in the
company. If you don’t hire someone to organise the stock house
immediately the depot will be submerged by products you won’t be able
to handle. Trying to be efficient you ask your friends for names of people
they know who could do the job. You hire the first one who comes your
way in and let him work on the task of organising the stock house. A few
weeks later you realise what you wish you didn’t have to: the new hire
was a disaster! Moreover, time has gone by… and you’re in the middle of
high season; not much that can be corrected… To cover losses, you end
up doing his job for him! Your main job as a manager is neglected.

Case 4. Mary has been working for the company for many years. She is loyal
and effective. You hardly remember occasions when you or other
colleagues had to chastise her for some of her work. New logistics
technology has been adopted by the company lately. However

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sophisticated this is, it needs someone to administer and supervise it.
You pick Mary as an employee who will certainly do her best to respond.
There’s nothing indicating that she could successfully move from her
administrative duties to a demanding supervisory role, but you trust your
instinct and her history as an employee and appoint her Logistics
Supervisor. A few months later the distribution system is in a mess and
workers complain about bad communication. Whatsmore, Mary decides
to resign from her post as she feels unable to cope. As a result, you are
left with neither a Logistics Supervisor nor with an effective
Administrative Assistant. You’ve already lost valuable time, a lot of
personal time and used up all even remotely possible alternative actions
to cover the losses. Corrective actions are neither adequate nor should
be used as quick remedy. The company loses money.

It’s a very common belief among managers that anyone can do anything.
That’s been proved a myth several times so far. There’s enough evidence that
people will do effectively only what they are inclined to do in terms of their
preferences, skills, behaviours, knowledge, and interests. In other words, as I
heard by Peter Thomson, “people won’t be what they aren’t.”

It’s surprising though how easily you may forget that once your gut feeling tells
you “I like this person! Hire them, they’ll do fine… you’ll see… You won’t regret
it!”. You feel like you need to listen to that inside voice, because otherwise you
wouldn’t trust your ability to make decisions …and this is intolerable for your
pride.

Now, after seeing the unfortunate results of your choices you might think “Why
on earth did I have to hire that person? Why didn’t I double check their fit-ability
to avoid disappointment and keep a peaceful mind?”.

3. You don’t trust your employees

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Case 5. You have decided to follow a new course on leadership development
based on emotional intelligence. However, you try to keep this personal
initiative secret by even asking your trainer not to discuss it with anyone,
because you trust no one; rumors travel fast… You’re afraid that if
anyone hears about you attending a leadership development
programme, everyone will find out about it and imagine that the reason
for going is because you’re not a good leader. You whisper Franklin
Roosevelt’s words to your trainer: “to keep a secret that three people
know, two of them must be dead!” You sleep uneasily with that thought in
mind.

Case 6. A new key account is very close to signing an agreement with your
company. If everything runs smoothly the account will contribute to
approximately 5% of the annual revenue. After listening to the briefing by
the sales and marketing team and all the facts and figures by the
financial manager who analysed them in detail, you announce that from
now on you will take the lead in any future negotiations with the future
client. Your managers feel intimidated and leave the room murmuring.
You receive vibes that they will hardly be engaged to you again. You
even hear a couple of them at the car park saying “Why does he pay us
to lead if he didn’t trust our ability to lead?”

While reflecting on the above cases and others similar to them try to remember
how many times you’ve offered your precious time to listen, understand,
respond to your valued employees and give a pat on the back when deserved.
What sort of feedback have they received from you lately? When did you start
giving them meaningful feedback and if you did, how long has it been since the
last time you did?

If you stop caring about your staff, eventually you’ll lose sight of their
capabilities and stop believing in them. If you don’t believe in the people you

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work with, inevitably you won’t trust them any more for their ability to serve your
company. Lack of people trust then creates feelings of isolation. Well, whose
professional future do you think is at risk? Yours which lacks supporters or
theirs who collegiate against the common ungrateful “oppressor” – you?

It’s also useful to ask yourself the following: of all your employees how many do
you trust in your organisation? It’s most likely that you only work closely with a
couple of them. Rest assured this is visible to the rest. As a result, you prevent
them from proving themselves what they can achieve for the company and their
clients, for their team and for their own career. What’s more, they’ll never
consist of a working team, committed to run the extra mile for you!

By saying “for their own career” too, I refer to the fact that naturally, if capable
employees don’t develop their skills, upgrade their knowledge and are not
updated in the field of their profession, no doubt they will look for work
elsewhere. You’ll then lose talented workforce who – if supported and trusted –
could offer their 100% towards improving the organisation. If you don’t trust
them, you and the company simply lose. If you don’t give them the opportunity
to show how they can make a difference in your company, they’ll probably make
a difference in the company down the road.

4. You think troubleshooting is an imperative

Case 7. Your housekeeping manager resigned from your hotel last month. The
#2 in the team is a tough, capable, promising but inexperienced person.
You decide to give her the opportunity to lead housekeeping. Because
you’re afraid there will be mistakes which may ruin your 5* hotel’s
reputation, you put daily close housekeeping supervision by you as a
priority on your task schedule. You mix your strategic tasks; budget
responsibilities; overseeing profits; setting and adjusting hotel’s KPIs;
weekly meetings with the executive managers to monitor achievements
and targets, ...with touring around rooms to check if bed linen are

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properly folded, towels are in place, lighting is turned on as required, etc.
You’re finally overwhelmed with all the decisions you have to make every
day; normal working hours are just never enough to help you finish your
jobs. Your dear friend, who’s a management consultant, tells you to stop
controlling the day-to-day operations and free time for your core business
which is the management of the hotel. You reply indignantly: “If I don’t
check it myself every day, nothing will get done around here!”

Your friend leaves the room by saying: “Well my friend, I think you’re
wrong; you’ve mixed up your roles here. Please think again”.

Case 8. The most common complain you make to your closest peers about
your job is that there’s just too many things to do which can’t fit in a 24hr
day! You talk to one of your friends saying that you have to sort out the
business strategy of the company, make sure its image is sustained at
the highest levels, think about and lead changes in the company, whilst
members of staff knock on your door to solve their personal
disagreements. They are not able to deal with simple things. At that
moment you receive a call by your key accounts executive, asking you to
talk to a customer who claims that he’s not being treated well by the
company and wants to speak to the manager. You turn to your friend
huffing: “There, you see? What did I just tell you? This thing’s killing me!”

Many management specialists would say that dealing with micro-management
closely results in you losing sight of strategic aspect of being a general
manager. Others might say that this is due to bad time management and
organisation skills. I’ve also heard valid relative comments stating that multi-
tasking usually results in mixing up the important with the unimportant tasks.

They are all good arguments. But even those arguments are rooted in the
internal beliefs of the person. Aren’t you surprised by the fact that the most
widely sold training seminar in the world is “Time Management”? However,

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managers of all industries keep complaining that they can’t manage their time
properly. What is the matter? What goes wrong?

Dealing with troubleshooting at work instead of letting others deal with it, is the
tip of the iceberg. Ask yourself: “How did I end up in this executive position?
What’s my purpose? What target do I set for myself and for the others I work
with? Where do I need to focus most?” There’s a lot to be done in order to learn
to focus first and then to decide what you need to focus on. Once this is
achieved, skies will be your limit.

5. You neglect the impact emotions have on people’s behaviours

Case 9. Your new product has just been launched and immediate promotional
actions need to be taken in order to let people know about its existence.
Your Marketing Management team decides to conduct a direct phone call
campaign along with other means of below-the-line marketing initiatives.
As time is precious you don’t have the luxury to hire additional workforce
to undertake the task of calling customers to sell the concept of the new
product. Existing staff from the sales & marketing teams sounds like a
good resource. Unfortunately, a couple of them don’t do well and fail to
reach their phone call quotas; in fact they are hesitant to make the calls
at all and every time they pick up the phone their hands tremble and their
voice doesn’t come out easily. You monitor their performance and call
them in your office. You express your disappointment and use the word
“unproductive” several times. Finally, as a good manager that you are,
you tell them how much you believe in them and you’re sure that this
underperformance won’t happen again… The people leave your office
puzzled – did he understand what the real problem was? Next week their
performance is even lower. You can’t understand why. You’re ready to
believe these two employees sabotage the new product because they
don’t believe in it.

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Case 10. You’ve made all the calculations right, booked the big hall for the
presentation, prepared the speech and invited every member of the
company to attend and learn about the re-structuring of the organisation.
After long tiring meetings, hard work and serious consideration of
possible drawbacks the new plan is in place. You can’t think of anyone
who could raise disagreements. “Lean organisation” is the new stake.
Departments are being merged together; managers change positions;
work teams are reshuffled; and customer service becomes centralised to
serve the efficiency of the organisation. Change is well justified from
every business angle. You announce the new plan with great
enthusiasm, use fancy colours on the big screen, explain the technical
aspects, present all the facts and figures in detail, and expect every
attendant to buy in, because this is …right… You’re surprised that
applause is not warm! You can’t explain why there’s murmuring at the
audience. Suddenly, a few hands are raised and your secretary gives
people the permission to ask questions. Comments are not what you’d
expected… Their main point is that the new structure destroys the family
atmosphere of the company and alienates people. New games of trust
need to come into play which is something that scares people, especially
those who have worked for the company for a number of years. Having
listened to these worries, you almost close your ears and respond one-
dimensionally:

“Your worries are not grounded anywhere; such changes have worked
successfully elsewhere and it will work for us too! After all it is imperative
that we adapt to current economic turbulence; this is the right thing to do
and we will all work towards this purpose. I personally believe in it!”
Because of your reply you didn’t achieve any connection between you
and your workforce.

Unfortunately, the change project went astray and moral dropped…

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Very often, capable managers are carried away by their ability to analyse all
possible options of a project and leave anything else aside. Think of the times
you were entirely devoted to hard calculations and forgot significance of soft
decisions. Emotions are embedded in all decisions where human interaction
plays a central role. Ignoring that factor means risking success of your
applications.

You may be perfectly competent for your ability to manage machines,
buildings, procedures and operations, but you’re unlikely to succeed in it
unless you manage to give your people your undivided attention; understand
their emotions, and develop a degree of relationship with them. It’s been
proven in several occasions that connecting with your people creates
foundation for higher performance levels …and saves your sleep!

6. You don’t think of the “ w h y s ”

Case 11. Your agenda is always full of tasks to complete; you’ve got used to
waking up in the morning and being busy from dusk to dawn. Sometimes
your responsibilities even require you to take clients or colleagues out for
a late evening business dinner. So, at the age of 45 you’ve learnt to work
hard, follow your routines, eat at unstable times during the day, travel
around the country and the world, spend a few hours with your family
during the week, and you’re pleased with yourself, …when suddenly,
your heart stops for a while and starts back again as normal. Your
spouse forces you to see a doctor. Although you find it hard to take a
sick leave for a couple of days and do the right health check-up exams,
you finally agree to visit the hospital. Your medical examinations show
your heart is still strong, but might easily be affected again by work
overload. So, the doctor asks you a shocking question: “Why do you
always have to work so many hours?” You had never thought of that
before! Everything seemed all right till that moment! Your time off ill
made you realise that you need help to discover why you do what you do

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in your business – but also in your personal – life. You went back to work
lighter than before and promised yourself to spend time on constructive
night-thoughts to enlighten your career and happiness.

Case 12. Working on a challenging matter in your company, you called your
executive managers in a problem solving meeting. You described the
problem, deployed possible solutions, analysed the pros and cons of
each of those solutions and finally picked the one which seemed most
appropriate at that particular time. It was consistent, ticked all the boxes
and followed models described in books. Being confident about your
decision you applied the solution, but it didn’t work as expected. As a
consequence, you gathered everyone around the “oval table” again and
argued about what went wrong. Half of the attendants said it was the
implementation which failed to meet with the right standards. Half
suggested to abandon that solution; adopt the next one in the rank; solve
the problem by communicating your decision better to everyone in the
company; and make sure you all try even harder for a successful
outcome. You finally agree to go with the second choice and started the
engines immediately... After a couple of months you regretfully see no
progress. You’re now extremely puzzled! Being a good and experienced
manager, you decide to call your team in a new meeting and include your
front-line management level into the thinking process. A young manager
who has just graduated from an MBA course had learnt about Chris
Argyris’ double-loop and triple loop learning in organizations and
volunteered to ask the question: “Why do we all have to think that what’s
happening is a problem to our company? We’ve seen that any solution
we come up with eventually fights back. What if our company’s policy
was wrongly set right from the beginning, resisting going along the
culture of our organisation?” That was it! You perceived the problem
differently and your mind shifted to an opposite direction. You led a new
executive meeting which turned the problem solving process upside
down and unblocked almost everyone’s ideas. That meeting set the
beginning of a successful re-engineering process of your company.

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Questioning traditional ways of doing things is a skill very often ignored.

Remember the days of adolescence when you’d question what your parents
would ask you to do? You’d always come up with a novel idea of how to be
alternative and authentic. The internal voice you’d hear was “Do I have to do it
just because my mother tells me I should do it that way? Can’t it be done
differently?” Through that process you identified your capabilities, your
“wants”, your aspirations, and your originality. Where has this sense of
exploration gone now?

To go somewhere you first need to be clear on where you’re going. To answer
that question you have to know where you stand. Finding your standpoint is a
deep thought provoking process in which you delve into your mind and identify
the “whys” of your decisions.

There are several levels of unanswered whys that can keep you awake at
night; it’s the why about

 yourself and your career choices

 the purpose of doing business

 neglecting your personal well-being

 being afraid of entering into conflict with others

 traditional company policies

 anything you habitually do and bothers you, but not tell

Asking “why” you chose one thing over another helps you master your ability
to live and work as professional who people trust and consult for their
problems. Knowing where you stand makes you secure and happier. Are you
willing to explore your answers?

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7. You avoid discussions on problems – procrastinate

Case 13. The President of the company asks you to collect all necessary
information about productivity levels of your workforce and schedule a
business meeting with him to discuss how you’ll improve performance of
all members of the company. You promptly agree with the idea and
promise to get back to him soon with a fixed meeting arrangement.
However, you are shortly faced with work overload and critical decisions
which can’t be delayed. Time goes by and you haven’t made any serious
moves towards the task mentioned above. Deep down your mind, you
believe that if you touch the issue of productivity in your organisation
you’ll open the “Pandora’s box” and you’ll cause havoc; a lot of people
will be exposed to the president, maybe even you! So, you
subconsciously let it go with the wind, hoping that the big boss won’t
bring it up again. Unfortunately, this worry plagues your thoughts 24/7,
day and night, fearing the day the president will ask you about the
progress of that task…

Case 14. You’ve reached the end of 2nd Quarter of the year and your sales
have shown a considerable drop. Your main channels of communication
with your clients don’t seem to be effective any more; they don’t follow
new market trends. You hear many arguments by your managers about
the need to change traditional operations and become more modern,
more progressive. Otherwise, sales results will prove a disaster at the
second half of the year. You have listened to those arguments carefully
and feel there’s still time to make important decisions for the future of the
company. However, when you talk with each one of your managers
alone, you consistently try to make them question the urgency of this
change. “We’ve been successful with those communicational channels
for so many years; they can’t be wrong now! Sales qualities don’t change

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over the years. We simply need to try harder…” Although your valued
people tell you to sit around the table and discuss the matter seriously,
you postpone doing it. You’ve now entered 4th Quarter and downturn is
bigger than ever. Rumors questioning your ability to lead fill the
corridors…

I recently heard Brian Tracy – author of “The Focal Point” – saying in an
interview that what matters most is what you do, not what you are. However,
as many senior managers do, you often hide yourself behind your title and
don’t take action whenever needed.

Excuses are easily made-up; the most common one is: “think carefully before
you act”.

In practice though, you promptly turn it to: “think carefully and don’t act!”

I’m sure that there have been times in the past when you had postponed
decisions to do something of major importance for your company, your
people, your life… We all have one way or another. Why is that?

…we may be afraid to take charge when the challenge is big;

…we feel we won’t be able to cope with what we are asked to do and we’ll get

easily stressed;

…we close our eyes to the problem and stubbornly refuse to admit it really
exists;

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…we are so tied up to our habitual traditions, which we don’t want to move
away

from them.

There are so many personal explanations why we let decisions and action
snail, until stress levels reach maximum and we can’t do otherwise. But when
we reach that stage, the pressure is so big that the outcome can’t be as good
as it could have been. Review each one of those reasons for a while. They are
all linked with our emotions and our willingness to control their balance.
Emotions are king. Learning to deal with emotions leads to learning to deal
with action successfully.

One thing is for certain: you need to find the courage to explore your own
reasons as to why you procrastinate. And then it’s like magic… A number of
issues will find their right place in your mind and your actions.

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The Most Critical of Them All

Of all the 7 mistakes mentioned above none is unavoidable, but none is
unexpected too. There’s one key mistake though which may be the catalyst to
tackle them all. However, being trapped in your managerial role you often avoid
looking at it seriously, hence decide to take action. This inevitable leads you to
a vicious circle where – like in the tale with the frog in a bucket with boiling
water1 – you fail to see the changes that happen around you and the
consecutive actions that you need to take.

What’s that mistake then?

+1 You don’t ask for help

You are to a bigger or lesser extent an experienced manager especially in
your industry or in general. You stand at the top of the hierarchy and others
look at you and ask for guidance, solutions, advice, and your wisdom. In my
consultancy experience, when I walk and talk with employees of the assembly
or front line in a client organisation they often either tell me proudly that their
line managers are their lighthouse or complain their line managers are a
guarantee to misery. The same applies to general managers too.

You see, you sit high enough for everyone to look at you and easily judge you
by your actions, decisions, even the thoughts behind them. You are constantly
exposed to everyone’s critique in and out of your organisation.

Being a human who interacts with others and from that interaction you form
your understanding of your being and of your world, you are affected by their
1
This engaging little parable claims that if you plunge a frog into boiling water, it will immediately
jump out. But if you put the frog into room temperature water, and then slowly heat the water to
boiling, the frog doesn't realise what's happening and gets cooked to death.
(http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2010/11/30/3080641.htm)

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expectations of you. You get a sense of the high responsibility you’re
attributed with. No matter how comfortable you feel about that, deep down
your heart you know that you can’t fail; people rely on you and simply can’t let
them down. In other words, when your employees talk about their business
you’re their main point of reference. But who’s your main point of reference?
Are you allowed to make mistakes? According to whom? How would you
know? Can you afford to?

There’s no point presenting real-life cases of successful managers who at
some stage in their career made serious mistakes in their decisions. You
won’t even find one completely unerring! It’s natural. So, what do you do when
you make a mistake?

Influenced by your managerial role, you probably try to bring a reasonable
excuse, minimise its importance, postpone any discussion about it and hide it.
Does it ring any bells? You know that admitting your mistake diminishes your
power over your employees; you need to look sound and solid in their eyes.
However, you also know that your decision was indeed wrong. Because of
your previous belief, you can’t ask for help from anyone. You see, you’re
supposed to know and deal with anything that happens in your business. But
by thinking that way there’s no way out… you’re trapped in your “must-be”
image.

That’s the most significant mistake managers make in their careers: hesitating
to ask for help when necessary, because they’re afraid of losing face.

At the same time this is the least effective thing they could do in practice. It
ruins their ability to manage and lead and also badly affects their well-being.
Honestly, could you sleep well at night if you knew you have to organise a
significant change in your department, you’ve failed to take everyone on-board

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so far and you can’t ask for anyone’s help? I’d personally be puzzled and sad
all day!

If you managed to overcome that limiting belief and finally engage others in a
beneficial dialogue, what would that offer you?

…a different perspective perhaps;

…a few aspects that could affect your decisions and had slipped off your
mind;

…some new pieces of information you had missed;

…the impact of your choices onto others…

Yes, you’re right! It’s not possible to test your understanding of things, hence
make decisions, unless you talk about them, get a reaction for them and feel
good working with them. Once you manage to engage in that interaction, you’ll
soon realise that all answers are already in your mind, only they’re sleeping.

To wake them up from that hibernation you need to liven and shake them up.
If the people whom you interact with are skillful and follow a method that will
shake you up you will not only bring your own answers to the surface, but
you’ll also believe in them and apply them with confidence and assertiveness
in your job. That’s the most demanding work you should do for yourself, but at
the same time the most remunerating!

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Possibilities & Benefits

Imagine yourself being a senior manager and able to easily distinguish between
objective facts and subjective interpretations. Knowing which comments are
directed to specific business functions or certain people and which to you
personally, can strengthen your feelings of security and self assurance. It needs a
lot of work to learn how not to feel threatened.

Working with the right people is such a relief for any manager. There’s enough
evidence showing that adopting the appropriate selection models, safely leads any
organisation to employ people who will fit in perfectly well.

• Behavioural and competency-based interviews

• Psychometric tools

• Simulation games

• Targeted induction & orientation programmes

are all excellent tools to use when hiring personnel. Of course they are subjected to
interpretations based on your own understanding of the organisation’s culture and
workforce dynamics, but that should by no means justify reliance on your gut
feelings or decisions under stress.

A friend of mine who’s been an academic professor for 2 decades and has
conducted a series of researches on HR Quality Management had once told me
while nodding his head: “There’s no other more powerful motivation a manager can
give their employees than an encouraging pat on their back!”

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Indeed, I can verify it myself, putting off your grey suit and putting on your humane
costume pays big dividends at work. It doesn’t at all mean that you lose your
professional image. On the contrary, in the eyes of your employees you reflect a
balanced, mature and emotionally intelligent personality. As a result you’re more
likely to be listened to carefully, be respected and followed by people you manage.
But you need to do a lot of work with yourself to make that happen.

Being surrounded by people who value your decisions and whose initiatives you
value means you trust they’ll perform well according to the policies and mentality of
the organisation. In other words you as a whole will constitute the brain of the
organisation and you will rarely have to bother with troubleshooting again. You’ll be
mind free to work on the strategic decisions you are paid for and direct the
company you run. Your time will be optimised without even noticed!

Enjoy the consequences of that… Taste the beauty of acknowledging your feelings.
Relish the benefits of understanding the emotions behind your colleagues’
behaviours, agreements or disagreements, enthusiasms or worries, contributions
or reluctances. By knowing that emotions govern actions, you’ll be able to exceed
their expectations and respond to them timely, appropriately and successfully! You
need exercise and persistence to reach that stage, but you’ll reach that point after
all.

You’re only human, not super-human – no one is. You can’t have all the answers,
but you may find them with the support of others. You deserve a try. This effort
requires sincere moments of truth to give yourself answers to the “why” questions;
to understand

…what the driving forces behind your attitudes are;

…what the impediments that hold you back every time you try to make a step
forward are;

…why you only trust certain people and fear to trust others at work or in your
personal life;

…why you’ve stopped showing your feelings to others reflecting a fearful image to
people;

…why you find it hard to say “no”…

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Understanding what’s behind those questions brings you closer to self-awareness.
Professionals who are self-aware of their motivations are more likely to distinguish
between

…what they should and shouldn’t do;

…what they should and shouldn’t say;

…what to give priority to and what to leave for later;

…who to trust and who to avoid and why.

The most important of them all for their managerial role is that now they are most
likely to decide what’s best for the business and what’s not, because they can now
understand the world outside themselves better.

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What to do?

Easily said, but hard to do! In practice it is evident that time and time again,
although you know what you should do to unblock yourself, you finally end up
repeating your mistakes and doing the same things over and over again. The
power of routine is supreme! But what does it make routine unbeatable? What sort
of habits are those you think you can’t change? Where do they derive from? How
can you possibly change them?

LERIO CONSULTING’s approach identifies the root causes of what bothers
you. We follow Aristotle’s belief that we should always look for the
fundamentals, understand them, accept and then handle appropriately.
Usually what we see and think we change in our behaviours are like
ornaments on a Christmas tree. Even if we remove them all from the tree, the
tree will still be in place. Therefore, we need to identify the complete figure of the
tree. Even so, we may need to understand why the tree has to stand in our living
room during Christmas; for ultimately this may not really be necessary for us but
imposed by others, which we may not feel comfortable with… We call this phase
“Mirror”.

In our approach we are both alternative and brave. We follow Plato’s
move away from traditional ways of doing things, towards revealed and
unobscured behaviours. This move helps you discover the right path for
you that suits you most. We’re ready to turn things upside down, put everything in
front of you for an open discussion and decide on the actions that need to be taken.
We call this phase “Table”.

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Having uncovered, understood and decided to move forward following a
certain path, you take charge of your actions. You run the course you
mapped out, test the outcomes on you, feel pain, relief, losses, victories
and receive constant feedback by someone who supports you all the way
through, your coach. We call this phase the “Running Track”.

This is the MTR approach.

There is a fundamental requirement to the MTR approach – as with all coaching
approaches:

To get help,

…you need to want to be helped –

…or else no one can help.

Now that you’ve seen how you may sleep better at nights, will you dare to try and
unleash your full potential? Leave me a message and I’ll personally get in touch
with you soon for a discussion.

Michalis Kourtidis
BA Hons Psych, MA in OB, MCIPD
Executive Coach & Consultant

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Who’s the author?

Michalis Kourtidis BA (Hons), MA, Chartered MCIPD
Managing Director, ExecCoach & HR Consultant

Michalis is a graduate in Philosophy, Pedagogy and
Psychology from University of Ioannina, Greece and holds a
Masters degree in Organisational Analysis & Behaviour from
Lancaster University, UK. His interest in counseling also led
him to a postgraduate certificate in School Counseling
Psychology.

His long involvement with Assessment Tools in Business
brought him close to the worldwide leader in psychometrics
Profiles International Inc., Waco, TX. Michalis is still
authorised partner of Profiles and very proficient in applying
and interpreting results of their assessments for the benefit
of business organisations and individuals. He has over 12 years of teaching in public and
private HE Institutions in the UK and abroad and is an Assoc.Fellow of HEA. Since
2010 he's been working as an Associate Lecturer in Oxford Brookes University, Faculty of
Business, teaching a range of topics in HRM and People Management. He also got his
Charter Membership of CIPD in 2011; his research project was awarded a distinction.

Michalis worked in services and sales for three multinational organisations for six years
and achieved great results. He has worked as a Management Consultant since 1998 with
key areas of work being Career Consultancy, Performance Management, Management by
Assessments, Selection and Human Resource Management. He has worked in
challenging projects for the private and public sector. The majority of clients come from the
Hospitality Industry. Small, medium and big hotel organisations of national and
international importance have been served by Michalis and his partners.

Executive Coaching plays a significant role in his pallet of services and this is where he
has gained high reputation so far. He is well known for his personal and philosophical
approach and for the smooth way he challenges his executive clients. Michalis is a strong
believer of human's good and positive nature and always tries to make others see their
world through that prism.

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He enjoys the peace of a long lasting marriage with Persephone and a family life with 2
children.

33

Reg. Office: 582-586 Kingsbury Rd. Birmingham B24 9ND, UK
Correspondence: 6 Augustus Rd. Birmingham B15 3NB, UK
Company Number: 8039934
0121.247.52.69 ● 077.22.333.114
http://www.LerioConsulting.co.uk
michalis@LerioConsulting.co.uk

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7+1 Mistakes Managers Make and Lose their Sleep at Night

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