From moment to moment, we are continuously deciding how best to position ourselves in relation to our patients and the maladaptive defenses to which they cling – once necessary for them to survive but now interfering with their ability to thrive. On the one hand, we have respect for our patients and for the choices, no matter how unhealthy, that they find themselves continuously making; on the other hand, we have a vision of who we think they could be were they but able/willing to make healthier choices for themselves. Indeed, we are always struggling to find an optimal balance within ourselves between accepting the reality of who our patients are and wanting them to change. Whether we are working within the interpretive framework of classical psychoanalytic theory, the corrective-provision framework of self psychology, or the intersubjective framework of contemporary relational theory, we are therefore ever busy deciding – whether consciously or unconsciously – if we should “be with our patients where they are” (Akhtar’s homeostatic attunement) or “direct their attention to elsewhere” (Akhtar’s disruptive attunement) – a critically important balance that is needed if the analytic endeavor is to be advanced. To demonstrate the translation of these theoretical constructs into clinical practice, I will be proposing a number of broadly applicable “template” interventions that juxtapose both the patient’s “defensive need” to maintain “same old same old” and the patient’s “adaptive capacity” to allow for “something new, different, and better.” Clinical vignettes will be offered that demonstrate judicious and ongoing use of these “optimally stressful” interventions that alternately support and challenge the defense, thereby galvanizing advancement of the patient, over time, from psychological rigidity to psychological flexibility. If indeed the therapeutic goal is deep and sustained psychodynamic change, then it behooves all of us to become comfortable with the concept of provoking – with our interventions – enough incentivizing anxiety and destabilizing stress within our patients that there will be both impetus and opportunity for them, ultimately, to transform rigid defense into more flexible adaptation. The strategic formulation of interpretations specifically designed to generate this optimal stress is indeed both an art and a science.

1. THE ART AND THE SCIENCE
OF INTERPRETATION
IN EMBODIED
RELATIONAL PRACTICE
MARTHA STARK MD
Faculty, Harvard Medical School
MarthaStarkMD @ SynergyMed.solutions
3 (2-hour) Experiential Workshops in Apr / May / Jun 2023
With special appreciation to Robert Downes, Adele Yaron, and Michael Soth
© 2023 Martha Stark MD
1

2. THE
PSYCHODYNAMIC
SYNERGY
PARADIGM
A C.A.R.E. APPROACH
TO DEEP HEALING
2

3. MY PSYCHODYNAMIC SYNERGY PARADIGM
A C.A.R.E. APPROACH TO DEEP HEALING
Cognitive – Affective – Relational – Existential
FIVE INTERDEPENDENT AND MUTUALLY ENHANCING
“MODES OF THERAPEUTIC ACTION”
MODEL 1 – COGNITIVE
THE INTERPRETIVE PERSPECTIVE
OF CLASSICAL PSYCHOANALYSIS
MODEL 2 – AFFECTIVE
THE CORRECTIVE – PROVISION PERSPECTIVE
OF SELF PSYCHOLOGY
MODEL 3 – RELATIONAL
THE INTERSUBJECTIVE PERSPECTIVE
OF CONTEMPORARY RELATIONAL THEORY
MODEL 4 – EXISTENTIAL
AN EXISTENTIAL – HUMANISTIC APPROACH
TO MENDING BROKENNESS AND EASING DESPAIR
MODEL 5 – NEUROPLASTICITY / MINDFULNESS AND INTENTIONALITY
A QUANTUM – NEUROSCIENTIFIC APPROACH
TO NEURAL ENTRENCHMENT AND “ANALYSIS PARALYSIS”
3

4. INDEED
THE THERAPEUTIC ACTION IN ALL FIVE OF MY MODELS
– CLASSICAL PSYCHOANALYTIC, SELF PSYCHOLOGICAL, CONTEMPORARY RELATIONAL,
EXISTENTIAL – HUMANISTIC, AND QUANTUM – NEUROSCIENTIFIC –
DOES INDEED INVOLVE ADVANCEMENT OF THE PATIENT
– THROUGH ITERATIVE HEALING CYCLES OF DISRUPTION AND REPAIR –
FROM RIGID DEFENSE TO MORE FLEXIBLE ADAPTATION
FROM “SAME OLD, SAME OLD” TO “SOMETHING NEW, DIFFERENT, AND BETTER”
FROM THE SOBERING AND CONDITIONED REALITY OF “WHAT IS”
TO THE ENLIVENING AND QUANTUM POSSIBILITY OF “WHAT COULD BE”
MODEL 1 – FROM “RESISTANCE” TO “AWARENESS”
A COGNITIVE APPROACH THAT FOCUSES ON “INTERPRETING”
MODEL 2 – FROM “RELENTLESS HOPE” TO “ACCEPTANCE”
AN AFFECTIVE APPROACH THAT FOCUSES ON “GRIEVING”
MODEL 3 – FROM “RE – ENACTMENT” TO “ACCOUNTABILITY”
A RELATIONAL APPROACH THAT FOCUSES ON “NEGOTIATING”
MODEL 4 – FROM “RELATIONAL ABSENCE” TO “AUTHENTIC PRESENCE”
AN EXISTENTIAL APPROACH THAT FOCUSES ON “SURRENDERING”
MODEL 5 – FROM “REFRACTORY INERTIA” TO “ACTUALIZING ACTION”
A QUANTUM – NEUROSCIENTIFIC APPROACH THAT FOCUSES ON
“REPEATEDLY AND DECISIVELY JUXTAPOSING ‘OLD BAD’ WITH ‘NEW GOOD’”
4

5. MOMENT – BY – MOMENT
THE “POINT OF EMOTIONAL URGENCY” DICTATES THE “GO – TO” MODEL
WHETHER STATE (TEMPORARY) OR TRAIT (MORE CHARACTEROLOGICAL)
MODEL 1 – ENHANCEMENT OF KNOWLEDGE “WITHIN”
NEUROTIC CONFLICTEDNESS
WHEN THE PATIENT IS “RESISTANT” AND “NOT AWARE”
MODEL 2 – PROVISION OF EXPERIENCE “FOR”
NARCISSISTIC WOUNDEDNESS / VULNERABILITY / ENTITLEMENT
WHEN THE PATIENT IS “RELENTLESS” AND “NOT ACCEPTING”
MODEL 3 – ENGAGEMENT IN RELATIONSHIP “WITH”
NOXIOUS RELATEDNESS
WHEN THE PATIENT IS “RE – ENACTING” AND “NOT ACCOUNTABLE”
WHEN THE “THING” HAS BEEN DELIVERED INTO THE HERE – AND – NOW
OF THE THERAPY RELATIONSHIP – MICHAEL SOTH (2023)
MODEL 4 – FACILITATION OF SURRENDER “TO”
NONRELATEDNESS
WHEN THE PATIENT IS “RETREATING” AND “NOT ACCESSIBLE”
MODEL 5 – ENVISIONING OF POSSIBILITIES “BEYOND”
NONACTION / NONACTUALIZATION
WHEN THE PATIENT IS “IN A RUT” AND ”NOT TAKING ACTION”
5

6. “MINIMALLY STRESSFUL” INTERVENTIONS
– ELICIT MINIMAL ANXIETY –
EMPATHIC STATEMENTS
INTEGRATION STATEMENTS
2 “PARTS” – BOTH / AND STATEMENTS
PATH – OF – LEAST – RESISTANCE STATEMENTS
CONTAINING STATEMENTS
THE “RULE OF THREE”
PARADOXICAL INTERVENTIONS
DAMAGED – FOR – LIFE STATEMENTS
COMPENSATION STATEMENTS
ENTITLEMENT STATEMENTS
MASOCHISM STATEMENTS
SADISM STATEMENTS
YOU – WOULD – WISH STATEMENTS
PARADOXICAL INTERVENTIONS
“OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL” INTERVENTIONS
– ELICIT OPTIMAL ANXIETY –
MODEL 1 CONFLICT STATEMENTS
MODEL 2 DISILLUSIONMENT STATEMENTS
MODEL 3 ACCOUNTABILITY STATEMENTS
MODEL 4 FACILITATION STATEMENTS
MODEL 5 QUANTUM DISENTANGLEMENT STATEMENTS
6

7. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 1 CONFLICT STATEMENTS
DESTABILIZING JUXTAPOSITION OF “ADAPTIVE CAPACITY TO KNOW”
WITH “DEFENSIVE NEED TO RESIST THAT KNOWING”
“YOU KNOW THAT IF YOU ARE EVER TO GET ON
WITH YOUR LIFE, YOU’LL HAVE TO LET GO OF YOUR CONVICTION
THAT YOUR CHILDHOOD SCARRED YOU FOREVER. BUT IT’S HARD
NOT TO FEEL LIKE DAMAGED GOODS WHEN YOU GREW UP
IN A HORRIBLY ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD WITH A MEAN AND NASTY
MOTHER WHO KEPT TELLING YOU THAT YOU WERE A LOSER.”
“YOU’RE COMING TO UNDERSTAND THAT
YOUR ANGER CAN PUT PEOPLE OFF.
BUT YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT
YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO BE AS ANGRY AS YOU WANT
BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH YOU HAVE HAD TO SUFFER
OVER THE COURSE OF THE YEARS.”
“YOU KNOW THAT IF YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH ELANA
IS TO SURVIVE, YOU’LL NEED TO TAKE AT LEAST SOME
RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE PART YOU’RE PLAYING IN THE
INCREDIBLY ABUSIVE FIGHTS THAT YOU AND SHE HAVE BEEN HAVING.
BUT YOU TELL YOURSELF THAT IT ISN’T REALLY
YOUR FAULT BECAUSE IF SHE WEREN’T SO PROVOCATIVE,
THEN YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE SO VINDICTIVE!” 7

8. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 2 DISILLUSIONMENT STATEMENTS
DESTABILIZING JUXTAPOSITION OF “DEFENSIVE NEED FOR RELENTLESS HOPE”
WITH “ADAPTIVE CAPACITY TO CONFRONT THE REALITY OF DISILLUSIONMENT”
AND “ADAPTIVE CAPACITY TO GRIEVE AND EVOLVE TO A PLACE OF ACCEPTANCE”
“YOU HAD SO HOPED THAT I WOULD TELL YOU WHAT TO DO.
BUT YOU ARE BEGINNING TO REALIZE THAT I DON’T SIMPLY
GIVE YOU THE ANSWERS – AND IT INFURIATES YOU.”
“YOU HAD SO HOPED THAT YOUR DAUGHTER
WOULD REACH OUT TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE SICK.
BUT YOU ARE BEGINNING TO REALIZE THAT,
FOR NOW, YOU ARE NOT A TOP PRIORITY FOR HER –
AND IT IS A DEVASTATING LOSS.”
“YOU WOULD SO HAVE WISHED THAT I COULD KNOW WHAT YOU
WERE THINKING WITHOUT YOUR HAVING TO SAY IT.
BUT YOU ARE COMING TO SEE THAT IT DOES NOT ALWAYS
WORK THAT WAY – AND THAT BREAKS YOUR HEART.”
“YOU HAD SO HOPED THAT WE COULD HAVE A PERSONAL
RELATIONSHIP. BUT YOU ARE COMING TO REALIZE, ALBEIT
RELUCTANTLY, THAT A THERAPY RELATIONSHIP IS NOT REALLY ABOUT
FRIENDSHIP PER SE – AND THAT ENRAGES AND DEVASTATES YOU.”
8

9. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 3 ACCOUNTABILITY STATEMENTS
DESTABILIZING JUXTAPOSITION OF “DEFENSIVE NEED TO RE – ENACT”
WITH “ADAPTIVE CAPACITY FOR ACCOUNTABILITY”
“I WONDER IF THIS FEELING I HAVE IN RELATION TO YOU THAT
NO MATTER WHAT I SAY IT WON’T BE GOOD ENOUGH IS LIKE
THE FEELING YOU HAVE SPOKEN OF HAVING HAD IN RELATION
TO YOUR FATHER, FOR WHOM NOTHING WAS EVER GOOD ENOUGH.”
“IT OCCURS TO ME THAT WE HAVE MANAGED TO RECREATE IN HERE
THE VERY SAME DYNAMIC THAT HAD CHARACTERIZED YOUR
RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR DOUBLE – BINDING MOTHER – NAMELY, THE
FEELING WE BOTH HAVE THAT NO MATTER WHAT EITHER OF US MIGHT
DO, IT WOULDN’T MEET THE OTHER’S APPROVAL! BUT ALL OF THIS,
FRUSTRATING AS IT IS, GIVES US AN OPPORTUNITY TO EXPERIENCE,
FIRSTHAND, HOW TOXIC THE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR MOTHER REALLY
WAS – EXCEPT THAT NOW WE CAN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!”
“YOU TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF. I AM JUST IN THE PROCESS
OF DIGESTING IT AND STORING IT FOR FURTHER UNDERSTANDING
OF YOU AND THEN ALONG YOU COME – WHAM! – AND TELL ME
THAT WHAT I HAVE DIGESTED AND STORED INSIDE ME DID NOT COME
FROM YOU AT ALL. THE PROBLEM I FIND IS HOW TO LIVE WITH THE
DESPAIR I FEEL OCCASIONED BY YOUR DISAPPEARANCES.”
CHRISTOPHER BOLLAS (1989) 9

10. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 3 ACCOUNTABILITY STATEMENTS
CAN BE INTRODUCED IN ANY OF THE FOLLOWING WAYS –
“IT OCCURS TO ME THAT, BY WAY OF YOUR
BEHAVIOR IN HERE WITH ME, YOU ARE HELPING
ME TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING THAT
I HAD NEVER BEFORE ENTIRELY UNDERSTOOD … ”
“I THINK THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TRYING TO
COMMUNICATE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO ME
THAT I HAD BEEN REFUSING TO SEE … ”
“I WONDER IF MY DIFFICULTY APPRECIATING
JUST HOW DESPERATE YOU WERE MADE
YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAD TO DO SOMETHING
DRAMATIC IN ORDER TO GET MY ATTENTION … ”
DON’T HESITATE TO “THROW YOURSELF UNDER THE BUS”
10

11. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 3 ACCOUNTABILITY STATEMENTS
AS IRWIN HOFFMAN (2001) HAS SUGGESTED
IF THE THERAPIST IS AWARE OF FEELING CONFLICTED IN
RELATION TO THE PATIENT, SHE MAY CHOOSE TO SHARE
THE FACT OF THIS CONFLICTEDNESS WITH THE PATIENT
“I WANT TO TELL YOU ‘X,’ BUT I AM AFRAID THAT ‘Y.’”
HERE THE THERAPIST IS EXPRESSING ALOUD THE CONFLICT WITH
WHICH SHE IS STRUGGLING – A CONFLICT THAT MIGHT WELL BE
REFLECTIVE OF THE PATIENT’S OWN INTERNAL STATE OF DIVIDEDNESS
“I AM TEMPTED TO GIVE YOU THE ADVICE FOR
WHICH YOU ARE LOOKING, BUT MY FEAR IS THAT
WERE I TO DO SO, I WOULD BE ROBBING YOU OF
THE IMPETUS TO FIND YOUR OWN ANSWERS.”
“I FIND MYSELF FEELING ANGRY WITH YOU FOR BEING SO OFTEN
LATE AND WANTING YOU TO UNDERSTAND HOW IT IMPACTS ME.
BUT THEN IT OCCURS TO ME THAT IT MIGHT BE MORE IMPORTANT
FOR US TO TRY TO UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU MIGHT BE WANTING
TO COMMUNICATE TO ME BY WAY OF YOUR FREQUENT LATENESS.”
11

12. “I WANT TO TELL YOU ‘X,’ BUT I AM AFRAID THAT ‘Y.’”
OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 3 ACCOUNTABILITY STATEMENTS
“I AM TEMPTED TO RESPOND TO YOUR REQUEST BY
SAYING THAT OF COURSE YOU CAN BORROW ONE OF
THE MAGAZINES IN MY WAITING ROOM. BUT I AM ALSO
REALIZING THAT WERE I SIMPLY TO SAY ‘OK,’ WE MIGHT
THEN LOSE AN OPPORTUNITY TO UNDERSTAND SOMETHING
MORE ABOUT YOU AND, PERHAPS, ABOUT US.”
TO A PATIENT WHO SAYS SHE WANTS THE THERAPIST’S
APPROVAL REGARDING HER DECISION TO TERMINATE
– A TERMINATION THAT THE THERAPIST THINKS IS PREMATURE –
“I AM TEMPTED SIMPLY TO OFFER YOU THE APPROVAL YOU
ARE SEEKING – IT IS, AFTER ALL, IMPORTANT THAT YOU DO
WHAT FEELS RIGHT FOR YOU. BUT I AM ALSO AWARE
OF FEELING, WITHIN MYSELF, THAT THE TIME IS TOO SOON
AND THAT WERE I TO SUPPORT YOUR DECISION TO LEAVE,
I MIGHT ULTIMATELY BE DOING YOU A DISSERVICE.”
12

13. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 4 FACILITATION STATEMENTS
DESTABILIZING JUXTAPOSITION OF “ADAPTIVE CAPACITY TO LONG FOR AUTHENTIC ENGAGEMENT”
WITH “DEFENSIVE NEED TO RETREAT FROM MOMENTS OF MEETING”
“A PART OF YOU YEARNS TO BE SEEN, KNOWN, UNDERSTOOD;
BUT ANOTHER PART OF YOU IS TERRIFIED OF BEING FOUND.”
“YOU FEEL DESPERATELY LONELY AND DISCONNECTED FROM PEOPLE
AND WOULD WISH THAT YOU COULD FEEL THAT YOU BELONGED
SOMEWHERE; BUT YOU FIND YOURSELF HOLDING BACK
FOR FEAR OF BEING DEVASTATINGLY DISAPPOINTED
AND LEFT ONCE AGAIN WITH A SHATTERED HEART.”
“A PART OF YOU DESPERATELY WISHES THAT YOU COULD FIND
JOY IN BEING ALIVE; BUT ANOTHER PART OF YOU IS SO
OVERWHELMED WITH DESPAIR ABOUT THE ABSURDITY OF IT ALL
THAT YOU CANNOT IMAGINE EVER BEING ABLE TO EXPERIENCE
ANYTHING EVEN REMOTELY CLOSE TO GENUINE HAPPINESS.”
“A PART OF YOU LONGS TO HAVE A PARTNER WITH WHOM YOU
COULD SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND WITH WHOM YOU
COULD SHARE WHAT YOU HOLD MOST DEAR; BUT ANOTHER PART OF
YOU CRINGES AT THE THOUGHT OF PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE –
IT JUST FEELS TOO RISKY TO OPEN YOUR HEART TO POSSIBILITIES.”
13

14. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 5 QUANTUM DISENTANGLEMENT STATEMENTS
DESTABILIZING JUXTAPOSITION OF “DEFENSIVE NEED TO REMAIN ENTRENCHED IN SAME OLD, SAME OLD”
WITH “ADAPTIVE CAPACITY TO ENVISION POSSIBILITIES, TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE NEED TO CHANGE,
AND COMMIT TO ACTION IN ALIGNMENT WITH SOMETHING NEW, DIFFERENT, AND BETTER”
“EVEN THOUGH MY RIGHT BRAIN IS TERRIFIED OF DRIVING BECAUSE
I CAN’T SHAKE THE MEMORY OF WHAT HAD HAPPENED WHEN MY
FATHER WAS DRIVING DRUNK AND WE HAD A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT
AND I VOMITED BECAUSE I WAS SO INCREDIBLY UPSET, MY LEFT
BRAIN KNOWS THAT IF I DRIVE CAREFULLY AND PAY CLOSE ATTENTION,
THEN THERE IS NO NEED FOR ME TO BE PHOBIC ABOUT DRIVING
BECAUSE I AM A GOOD DRIVER AND AM ALWAYS VERY CAREFUL.”
“EVEN THOUGH I GENERALLY ASSUME THAT PEOPLE WILL BE CRITICAL
OF ME BECAUSE MY PARENTS WERE SO UNRELENTINGLY JUDGMENTAL,
I CAN ENVISION THE POSSIBILITY THAT SOMEDAY I MIGHT BE ABLE
TO FREE MYSELF OF MY SELF – CONSCIOUSNESS AND TAKE
MORE OWNERSHIP OF MY RIGHT TO BE HERE ON THIS EARTH.”
“EVEN THOUGH I FEEL SO ALIENATED FROM EVERYBODY BECAUSE
I WAS NEVER MADE TO FEEL THAT I BELONGED WHEN I WAS A KID,
I CAN ENVISION THE POSSIBILITY OF SOMEDAY BEING ABLE
TO FEEL LESS ALIENATED. I TAKE OWNERSHIP OF MY NEED
TO PUT MYSELF OUT THERE MORE AND I HEREBY COMMIT
TO BEING MORE ACTIVELY ENGAGED IN MY LIFE GOING FORWARD.”
14

15. OPTIMALLY STRESSFUL MODEL 5 QUANTUM DISENTANGLEMENT STATEMENTS
DESTABILIZING JUXTAPOSITION OF “DEFENSIVE NEED TO REMAIN ENTRENCHED IN SAME OLD, SAME OLD”
WITH “ADAPTIVE CAPACITY TO ENVISION POSSIBILITIES, TAKE OWNERSHIP OF THE NEED TO CHANGE,
AND COMMIT TO ACTION IN ALIGNMENT WITH SOMETHING NEW, DIFFERENT, AND BETTER”
“MY MOTHER ATTACKED ME MERCILESSLY FROM AGES 10 TO 15 WITH UNFOUNDED
ACCUSATIONS AND CRUEL STATEMENTS, LIKE THAT I WAS A ‘WHORE’ AND A ‘TART’ –
ALL BECAUSE WHEN I WAS 10 YEARS OLD THE BOY NEXT DOOR HAD MOLESTED ME
AND I HAD WRITTEN IT DOWN IN MY DIARY – WHICH SHE READ! SHE MADE THIS
MOLESTATION MY FAULT AND ATTACKED ME FOR 5 YEARS WITH THOSE CRUEL
ACCUSATIONS. BACK THEN, I PROTESTED FEEBLY, CRYING AND SAYING IT WAS
UNTRUE – BUT BECAUSE I WAS A CHILD, I BECAME BRAINWASHED WITH HER VIEW OF ME.
IT MADE ME FEEL SO HORRIBLE ABOUT MYSELF AND MY BODY. I NEVER COULD FIGHT HER.
SHE WAS JUST TOO SCARY. SOMETIMES I WOULD HAVE TIGHTNESS IN MY CHEST AND
TROUBLE BREATHING WHEN I WAS AROUND HER. BUT I NEEDED A MOTHER, AND I
GUESS I NEEDED THE ILLUSION THAT SHE CARED FOR MY WELL – BEING.
HER SADISTIC WORDS FORMED MY CORE BELIEFS ABOUT ME AS A GUILTY,
UNACCEPTABLE PERSON WHO SHOULD FEEL TERRIBLE SHAME. EVERY SINGLE DAY, I STILL
EXPERIENCE SELF – DENIGRATING THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS OF NOT – OKAY – NESS.
“BUT WITH THERAPY, I AM BEGINNING TO ENVISION A DAY WHEN I WILL BE ABLE TO FEEL
STRONG, OUTRAGED, ENRAGED, AND POWERFUL ENOUGH TO REJECT THIS PACK OF LIES
WITH FIERCE SELF – PROTECTIVENESS. I AM BEGINNING TO ENVISION MYSELF FIGHTING,
FIGHTING HARD AGAINST HER TOXIC ATTACKS OF THE PAST – AND MOVING BEYOND THEM
INTO FREEDOM. JUST THINKING THIS WAY HAS LED ME TO START TO TALK BACK
FIERCELY TO THE CRAPPY THOUGHTS ABOUT MYSELF WHEN THEY CROP UP INSIDE ME.
I GET NOW THAT THEY ARE DISTORTED, PERVERSE, AND UNTRUE. I COMMIT TO REJECTING
HER LIES AND FALSE APPRAISALS AND TO REPLACING THEM WITH THE TRUTH – THAT I AM
A FINE PERSON WHO IS JUST AS WORTHY AS ANYONE. I WILL COMMIT TODAY TO ALLOWING
MYSELF TO CULTIVATE THE SEEDS OF MY POWER. I COMMIT TO EMERGING A FREE
AND AUTHENTIC ME, FUTURE – LOOKING, AND ALIVE TO MY TRUE SELF AND PURPOSE.” 15

16. PROPOSED
DEFINITION
FOR
PSYCHODYNAMIC
PSYCHOTHERAPY
PSYCHOTHERAPY IS THE VENUE
WHERE “LIVED EXPERIENCE”
HAS THE POTENTIAL
TO BECOME “STORIED”
JAMES TOBIN (2016)
AND TO TRANSFORM “OLD BAD” NARRATIVES
INTO “NEW GOOD” ONES
110

17. IN ESSENCE
PSYCHODYNAMIC PSYCHOTHERAPY
AFFORDS THE PATIENT
BOTH IMPETUS AND OPPORTUNITY
– ALBEIT BELATEDLY –
TO MASTER TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES
THAT HAD ONCE BEEN OVERWHELMING
– AND, THEREFORE, DEFENDED AGAINST –
BUT THAT CAN NOW
– BY VIRTUE OF THE SYNERGY BETWEEN
THE THERAPIST’S LOVING SUPPORT
AND THE PATIENT’S UNDERLYING RESILIENCE
AND INNATE CAPACITY TO ADAPT TO STRESS –
BE REVISITED, REPROCESSED, AND REFRAMED
SUCH THAT GROWTH – IMPEDING DEFENSES
– ONCE NECESSARY FOR SURVIVAL –
CAN BE GRADUALLY TRANSFORMED
INTO GROWTH – PROMOTING ADAPTATIONS
INDEED
FROM PSYCHOLOGICAL RIGIDITY TO PSYCHOLOGICAL FLEXIBILITY
AND STRONGER AT THE BROKEN PLACES

19. OPTIMAL STRESS
STRONGER AT THE BROKEN PLACES
IS THERE NOT A CERTAIN BEAUTY IN BROKENNESS,
A BEAUTY NEVER ACHIEVED BY THINGS UNBROKEN?
IF A BONE IS FRACTURED AND THEN HEALS,
THE AREA OF THE BREAK WILL BE STRONGER
THAN THE SURROUNDING BONE
AND WILL NOT AGAIN EASILY FRACTURE
ARE WE TOO NOT STRONGER AT OUR BROKEN PLACES?
... A QUIET STRENGTH WE ACQUIRE
FROM SURVIVING ADVERSITY AND HARDSHIP
AND MASTERING THE EXPERIENCE OF
DISAPPOINTMENT, HEARTBREAK, AND DEVASTATION?
AND, THEN, WHEN WE FINALLY RISE ABOVE IT,
DON’T WE RISE UP IN QUIET TRIUMPH,
EVEN IF ONLY WE NOTICE …

20. 20