This document contains notes from a teacher assessing an assignment involving drafting an opening sequence. The teacher provides feedback on ways to improve the draft, including using different shots like close-ups of writing and distinguishing between real life and flashbacks. They suggest changing elements like not having the character be dead but missing and altering the editing and ending. The document also references feedback from an audience on Draft 2 and discusses creating enigma, as well as including a storyboard, shot list, and script for a new opening sequence.

1. Assignment 11 – draft 5 opening
sequence draft 3.
Luara
Kauana
Chantelle

2. Teacher assessment.

3. Even better if:
• Have 2 folders
• Have close-up shots of him writing.
• Distinct way of real life and flashback.
• Improve on character representation.
• Not being dead, but missing.
• Change editing.
• Change ending.
• Have her with a voice over.

4. Even better if :
• Put titles in a different place.
• Have a background song for the whole opening
sequence
• Put pictures of crime scene.
• More match on action
• Usa camera pan and zoom to concentrate on
specific words.
• Panning from bottom
• Last shot her face.
• Variety of shots of her sitting down.

5. www

6. Decisions and changes.

7. Problems and obstacles.

8. Changes from Draft 2 to Draft 3.

9. How has these helped us improve?

10. New opening sequence.

11. Story board.

12. Shot list

13. Script.

14. How are we creating enigma?

15. Audience feedback for Draft 2.

16. Character.

17. Location.