2. CHARACTERS
JOHN M. HEATS - protagonist character who goes speed dating - an
average man who has been content in life up until now. He is
averagely confident and dresses not-too-casual but never too smart.
KEITH BELLOWS - flamboyant speed dating manager - dresses
extravagantly with bright colours and walks with big and confident
strides.
MOLLY - first speed date for JOHN - she is fairly average but
dresses as if she lives in five different decades.
HOLLY - second speed date for JOHN - she is attractive, maybe a
little too attractive for JOHN, and this makes him feel very
awkward. She has long blonde hair and wears a pretty red short dress
and has a little bit too much make-up on, though not overly
excessive. She wears black high heels.
POLLY - third speed date for JOHN - she is a mature woman, in her
mid 60's, who dresses as if she thinks she can still pull 20 year
old students at the local night club.
DOLLY - fourth speed date for JOHN –she is a bit of an emotional
rollercoaster. A single mother with 3 kids in a house that’s seen
better days. She has turned to speed dating in a desperate attempt
to find someone to share her work-load.
DAVE - fifth speed date for JOHN - DAVE is a homosexual man, who
wears motorbike leathers and a red bandana. He is quite flirtatious,
often leaning forward to engage in conversations. JOHN is
significantly awkward around him.
SYNOPSIS
JOHN M. HEATS (JOHN) is a lonely man looking for love. He ventures
out one night to a speed dating session. Upon entering, he is
reluctant - almost walking out - but KEITH BELLOWS, floor manager,
draws him back in. During his time there, JOHN meets many diverse
characters. However, he finds himself still without true love. £20
down, he returns home to his collection of cardboard cutouts of
himself [This will act as our narrative twist to end the short
film].
3. EXT. OUTSIDE JOHN’S HOUSE – EVENING
JOHN has just left his house and is walking to the speed dating
venue. He looks slightly forlorn and as though something is missing,
though this emotion shouldn’t be projected to the extreme. A non-
diegetic score – with an eerie piano feel – is playing. At this
point, still titles are fading in and out, displaying cast and crew
names.
JOHN
[Voice-over]
[Slightly slow and thoughtful] I’ve never been the sort of man to do
something like this. To be fair, I’ve always been a bit cynical
about the idea. Truth is, I’ve never felt the need to. It’s just
another thing I could do without. I’m going to pay money to
participate in a load of shit. An abstract idea personified by
physical acts and gestures. Being 33 is, an interesting age: half-
way between nightclub sensation and living with 7 cats. That’s what
it feels like anyway.
JOHN now has the speed dating venue in sight.
JOHN
[Voice-over]
[With a hint of anxiousness] Right, this must be it.
EXT. OUTSIDE SPEED DATING HALL - EVENING
JOHN approaches the speed dating hall. He reaches for the
door handle, and moves into the building.
INT. SPEED DATING HALL – EVENING
Realising the event has already begun, he checks his watch to
see he is two minutes late. He walks forward two steps before
KEITH BELLOWS approaches him.
KEITH
[Enthusiastically] Ah hello there! My name is Keith. I assume you’re
here for the speed dating... or as we like to call it: ‘Spating’.
[Turns round to address speed daters] Don’t we girls?
No response.
4. KEITH
[Turns back to JOHN] Ah, we do.
JOHN looks hesitant and considers bluffing to KEITH he’s in the
wrong building.
JOHN
[Reluctantly] Yeah... yeah I am, yeah.
KEITH
[In a high voice] Fabulous.[Normal voice] We’ll get you seated right
away at a spare table, or a spable [he chuckles to himself and
quickly glances over his shoulder].
JOHN remains a little reluctant.
KEITH
Okay then, right this way.
KEITH rings the bell. JOHN is shown over to a table.
KEITH
[Subtly] Oh and I’ll need one of those beautiful £20 notes if you
don’t mind.
John digs into his pocket. The instant he waves it to KEITH, KEITH
snatches it off him and places it under his hat.
KEITH (CONT’D)
[Enthusiastically] Thank you.
JOHN is seated opposite Molly.
MOLLY
[Upbeat] Hello. Hi. This is exciting isn’t it?
JOHN
[Matter of fact attitude] I’m an engineer. And a homeowner.
MOLLY
[Negatively surprised] Well that’s great. How-
JOHN
[Interrupts] When I was younger I always thought I’d be a pilot.
Never quite worked out though.
MOLLY
Right.So what hobbies do you have?
JOHN
[Thoughtful] Well I’m quite interested in art you see.
MOLLY
[Eagerly] Ah brilliant me too-
5. JOHN
[Stubbornly] Hang on, I haven’t finished. But I’m more into,
portraits.
Molly looks awkwardly at him.
Switch to John’s second date, HOLLY.
JOHN
[Subtly laughing] She’s a bit, scary, isn’t she?
HOLLY
[Confused] Who... that one over there? [Points]
JOHN
Yeah, yeah. [Jokingly] This room is full of them.
HOLLY
I hope I’m not one of them.
JOHN
Oh no, you’re extremely pretty.
HOLLY
[Smugly] Well, many people do say so.
John smiles.
There is a short awkward pause.
JOHN
I’m an engineer.
HOLLY
That’s great. I work in an office. I hate it.
JOHN
So you’re the people that ring me up about my PPI, are you?
HOLLY
[Laughs] No, I hate those people.
JOHN
You seem to hate a lot of things.
Switch to John’s third date, POLLY.
POLLY
[Leaning in] You alright there sweetheart.
JOHN looks mildly uncomfortable.
JOHN
I am, I am. And how are you?
6. POLLY
Oh I’m just fine, my love.
POLLYattempts to rest her palm of JOHN’s hand, but he pulls back
just in time.
JOHN
Enjoying yourself?
POLLY
[Grinning] Yeah, very much.
POLLY can tell JOHN isn’t too keen.
POLLY
So, what do you do for a living?
JOHN
I’m an engineer.
POLLY
[Suggestively] So you’ve got nice strong arms then?
JOHN
I have yes.
POLLY
I do like a man with strong arms.
Switch to John’s fourth date, DOLLY.
Within seconds of sitting down, Dolly immediately starts the
conversation.
DOLLY
I’m Dolly.
She stands up and reaches out her hand to accept a handshake.
JOHN
[Taken-back by her abruptness] John.
DOLLY
[Quickly] So have you come speed dating before?
JOHN
No. This is my first time.
DOLLY
Oh good.
DOLLY is anxiously fidgeting and playing with her hair.
7. DOLLY (CONT’D)
So what are you into?
JOHN
Well to be quite honest, I’m kind of into you.
DOLLY is uplifted by this, and stares into JOHN’s eyes. JOHN
realises that what he said may be a little forward.
JOHN
[Thinking on his feet] Uhh... I’m an engineer.
DOLLY
[Excited] An engineer? So you can fix things?
JOHN
[Smugly] I suppose I can.
DOLLY
This is so good!
JOHN