1. Keywords:
Insomnia
Sleepingpills
Sleepdeprivation
Snoring
Restlesslegsyndromecure
Sleepdisorders
Marriage
Bedroomideas
How couplessleep
Sleepingtips
Coupleswhosleepinseparate beds
Marriage advice
Metatitle:Marriage Advice- HowCouplesSleep |Mabel’sLabels
Metadescription:Should youconsidersleepingapart? Thisblogexaminesthe realitiesof sharingabed,
like snoring, , offerssleepingtips,andquestionswhethercoupleswhosleepinseparate beds are better
off.
H1: ShouldYouCo-Sleep…withyourpartner?!
By Lisa VanMeeteren
I haven’thada REM cycle since 2002.
Or at leastit certainlyfeelsthatway.It’snocoincidence thatit’salsothe yearI got married. While many
debate aboutwhetherornotto co-sleepwith theirchildren-thatwasneveraconsiderationinour
household.Ihave enoughtroublegettingqualityzzz’swithoutinvitinganotherhumanbeingintomy
bed,as itis alreadyoccupied,quite fullybyanother.Yes,the love of mylife,sigh.
WhenI firstbeganto share my bed withmyhusband,(earmuffs,Mom) Ididn’tmindhis“quirky”habits.
Everythinghe did,includingthrowinghislegsontopof me until IdreamtI was ina fiftycar pile-upon
the QEW andsnugglingme until IdreamtI wasbeing “heimliched”wasapart of hischarm. Andhe
didn’tseemtomindthatI stretchedoutlike a giantstarfishevery night. Asthese sleephabitsbecame

2. lesscharmingwe adapted,andinvestedinalittle thingIlike tocall, themarriagesaver,otherwise
knownas a kingbed.Problem solved.Sleeponce againbecame areality, until…children.Andwe all
knowhowthat goes,so once againsleep deprivationruledmylife,andIobsessedoversleeplikesome
dietersobsessovercheeseburgers,refusingtogive intothe temptationof sleeping pillsincase Iwas
needed.
Thenonce my kidsgrew a little olderandwhentheymanagedtostayhealthy,guesswhat?Istill
couldn’tsleep.Afteryearsof trainingmyself toremainhalf alertincase a baby,toddler,orsickchild
neededme,Isleptonhalf alert,like Iwastakinga lightnap.WhichmeantI heard- EVERYTHING. Every
timbre of everysnore myhusbandorchestrated,everyslurp,bodilyfunctionandwhistleannoyedme.I
neededasolutionsoIboughtmarriage saver#2-earplugs.Anditworked. EverynightIshovedthose
babiesintomyeardrums sohard that I probablyhave more hearingdamage thanyouraverage groupie.
Andnot onlydidI nothear all of myhusband’ssnoringasan addedbonusI didn’thearthe kidsthe first
time theycried either.This meantforthe firsttime since theirbirth, myhusbandwoke upbefore Idid
and attendedtothem!
So all wasgood inthe universe wasagain,until….myhusbandtookupnightrunning.Idon’tmeanhe left
the house and wentjogging,Imeaninbedinhisdreams.Everynighthe wouldrun marathonsinhis
sleephislegswhirlingaroundlikeelectricmixersjigglingme awake the secondIstartedto dream.
(Whichexplainedhowhe lookedsotrimandwhy the circlesundermyeyeswouldmake anynocturnal
trash lovingbeast,envious.Yes,raccoons.)
Once again I beganmissingmybelovedREMcycle.I startedto thinkthat maybe Victoriancoupleswere
on to somethinginthe daysof candlelightandseparate bedchamberswitha “nookie”door.Sounds
romanticto me.Imagine this.Afterablessednight’ssleep,youawakenrefreshedandgreetyourmate
all groomedandready togo maintainingillusionsof grandeur. Icoulddothat. There’ssomething
enticingaboutmyhusbandnotwitnessingme withmymouthguard, earplugs,andeye mask,all partof
my womb-like andcompletelyunsexysleepritual.Andjustwhenthiswasonthe forefrontof mymind,
that’swhenI sawit on TV,dangledinfrontof me like abeaconof hope.
“Many couplesare choosing to have twomasterbedroomsnow,”a designersaid.He wentontotalk
aboutother bedroomideas,includingthe new trendof homesbeingbuiltwithtwomasterbedrooms,a
preference of manybusymoderndaycoupleswhoare makingthe qualityof theirsleepapriority. I
wondered…wasthis solution#3?
So we triedit.Noton purpose at first.My husbandhada cold,andhis snoringwasan operaticassaultto
the senses,breakingall soundbarriers,includingmyearplugs,andthe pillow Ishovedovermyhead.I
keptkickinghim,(itstartedoutlike alove tap,a gentle, ‘hey,you’re snoring’ anditturnedintoaninja-
like assault) until he finallywoke upandsaid,“Ineedto getsome sleep!”Dittopal!
He ploddedoff tothe guestroomand fora momentIlanguishedlikeachild makingsnow angels
stretchingoutas far as I couldgo. ThenI beganto feel guilty.He wasthe one whowassick.I should
have left. Ididn’tgetmuch sleepthatnight. The nextnighthe automaticallywenttothe guestroom

3. sayingthat he wantedme to have a goodnight’ssleep andIdid,sort of.His coldimprovedbutthe
followingnighthe remainedinthe guestroom andit feltodd.Like we were fighting,thoughwe weren’t.
Andit hitme.I missedsharingabedwithhim.I missedafriendlytaponthe shoulderwhenI’mgrinding
my teeth,ora sleepybackrubto calm me down.I missedspontaneousmorningcuddlesthatsometimes
ledto somethingmore.SoIgoogledrestlesslegsyndrome cures,gave himmagnesium(solution#4) and
invitedhimbackintoourbed where he belonged.Iknew Iwas takinga gamble onwhetherornot I
wouldgeta REM cycle but feltlike itwasbetterthangambling withthe intimacy of ourmarriage.So,my
take on co-sleepingwithmy partner?I’mall in.Gassiness,snoring,kicking,cuddles,comfortand
closeness- in.
Wouldyouconsiderthe nouveaubedroomideasthatincludecoupleswhosleepinseparate beds in
orderto get a qualitynight’ssleep? Doyouhave some marriage advice orsolutionsyou’vecome upwith
to overcome insomniaand sleepdeprivation?