The document discusses how Facebook is negatively impacting social interaction and mental health. It argues that Facebook reduces face-to-face interaction as people spend more time on the platform. This can lead to issues like cyberbullying, addiction, and lack of privacy. The document also notes that nearly 43% of people have been bullied online and this type of bullying can contribute to depression and mental health problems, especially for teenagers. Finally, it concludes that Facebook takes away people's leisure time, peace of mind, and privacy, suggesting people should limit or take breaks from using the platform.
2. Introduction example – should state
ideas and be emotive or persuasive.
Do you know anyone who is sucked into the black hole that Facebook can be?
Have you ever been attacked by an internet troll? Does it drive you crazy
when every sentence online ends with ‘lol’? Facebook has changed the
dynamics of social interaction forever but overall it has not been a change for
the better. The disadvantages of Facebook outweigh the advantages and many
people are leaving the world of Facebook to return to a more normal reality.
One disadvantage of Facebook is that people spend so much time on it that
they have less time for family time or face to face interaction with friends.
Another negative aspect of Facebook is cyberbullying and the poisonous
comments people write online that they probably wouldn’t say to someone’s
face. Other ways Facebook can affect people is through addiction to
Facebook, affecting their work performance and the lack of privacy people
experience. It’s all out there on Facebook.
3. Body paragraph – should extend idea in
detail
Facebook is affecting the mental health of many people, especially teenagers
around the world. Cyberbullying is an international problem and it can have
a brutal impact, even leading to suicide in some cases. Nearly 43% of people
have been bullied online and 1 in 11 have had it happen repeatedly. Girls are
more likely to be bullied and this can have a huge impact on their self-
esteem. But what are people doing about it? Often, nothing. Unlike school
bullying which people can at least escape at home, Facebook is 24/7 and the
overall effect of that can cause people to become depressed, and experience
mental health problems. Parents need to monitor how younger kids use
Facebook. Older people should be more responsible, respectful and careful on
Facebook. But the reality is, many people are not.
4. Conclusion example
To conclude, Facebook does not add to people’s lives, it takes away. It takes
away their leisure time, it takes away their peace of mind and it takes away
their privacy. It is obvious that addiction to Facebook infringes on many adults
and teenagers work and study times as well as taking over their time to relax
so that they have less balance and more imbalance in their lives. It also
affects many people’s mental health with far too many people having been
the victims of cyber bullying or internet trolling. Finally, we no longer can
retreat to the quiet peace of our home or bedrooms without being
interrupted by a message, a friend request from an absolute stranger or a
status about what someone had for breakfast. What is the answer? Do we
ignore Facebook and defriend it? Or should we all take a Facebook holiday,
and turn it off for an hour, a day or a week to prove we control it and it does
not control us. Then we can remember what the real world looks like, lol!
5. Conclusion – Sum up key ideas and evaluate
overall topic – what do you think?
To conclude/To summarise/In conclusion . . .
It is obvious that . . It is clear that . . . It is evident that . . .
People should . . . Individuals have to . . . Society must . . .
We need to realise
People need to wake up and
It is imperative that . . .
Now, more than ever . . .
As _____________ quoted, “ . . .
6. Other tips and tricks
Edit carefully
Type out your essay – it will help you
Get feedback from your teacher – arrange to meet with your teacher and
discuss how you can improve it
Use questions and emotive words – Did you know . . .? Were you aware . . .?
Use stats and quotes – but keep each stat and quote succinct, not TOO long!
Be passionate about topic and make it interesting
Keep sentences carefully structured and try to vary the length of them
Use a thesaurus on computer or in class to extend and vary vocab
Back up your essay by e-mailing it to yourself, and the teacher!