girl

1. Story of a girl - "I Married a Stranger.."
I was on the bed, feeling terrified.I opened my diary and wrote, 'I married a stranger'and quickly hid it under
the bed. My whole body was shaking.
"What do I do?" I questioned myself.
"Do I act like a virgin?"
"But whatif he finds out? Do I tell him to waitfor it for a few days? But what if it makes him angry?"
The front door opened and my heart jumped in myneck. I was breathing heavily. The sound of his footsteps gave
me goosebumps.Ilooked down and pretended to be calm.I saw him stopping atthe door though I wasn'tlooking
at him.
"Ghauri", he said with ever-so-calm voice.I dared not to look at him.
"Ghauri, I am going to sleep in another room",he said.
'If your husband doesn'twantto sleep with you, you have failed as a wife', echoed my mother's voice in my head.
But I didn't look up. I stayed quiet.
"Don't you want to ask me why?", he said,with little humor in his voice, clearly trying to cheer me up. I looked at
him for justa few seconds and looked down again.
"You are my wife", he said and paused,and then he continued,"not a prostitute."
I really didn'tknow whathe meantas my mind wasn'tworking well.'When you don't know whatto say to your
husband,keep your mouth shut'came back my father's voice. I obeyed him as usual.
"If we sleep together when we really don't know each other, what differentyou would be from a prostitute? We
will sleep together someday,when both of us wants it, and that day, I'd be making love to my wife. I definitely
won't be having sex with a stranger."
He turned off the lightand just few seconds later,putit on and said funnily, "I am not a secretgay by the way. I
promise you that."
Despite how scared Iwas,I giggled.He smiled,turned off the lightand went to another room. I was still giggling.
As I slepton the bed withoutremoving my make-up or anything, tears rolled down from the corner of my eyes.
People say it amazes them when we shed tears while we are happy. They say, it didn'tmake sense,butto me, it
made more sense.We felt something so strong thata part of us couldn'tstay inside us,that's what I thought
anyway. To me,shedding tears while being happymeantmore.
I woke up and made myselfready to make breakfast.I wentto the kitchen but he was there, cooking. I don't
know how horrified I looked because itmade him reallyscared.He quickly ran to me and said,"Ghauri,are you
fine?" and his voice was filled with worries.
"Why are you cooking?"I said with a low voice.
He seemed lost.And finally he realized what I meant."Ghauri, look at me.I like cooking,okay? You can cook
when you like and so will I."
"Ghauri", his voice was authoritative this time,"you are not my slave. You are my wife!"
'If you let your husband step inside the kitchen,you fail as a wife." mocked my mother's voice as I came out of
the kitchen.

2. I began to open up with him,little by little. I didn'tshare any of my biggestsecrets with him or talked aboutmy ex
boyfriends,but I started talking with him.Once, he asked me some importantsuggestions abouthis office and my
jaw dropped.
But I quickly remembered,mydad doing the same with my mom.
My mom answered and mydad got so furious,he slapped her in front of me for the first time.He looked at me
and said angrily, "When your husband ask you abouthis works,he isn't really asking,so keep your mouth shut."
But they have been wrong ever since I came here.I started suggesting and he listened.Iused to shed lots of
tears at home and I did the same here too, but the feelings ofwhy it came,was different.
I felt confidence building inside me.Icould have never imagined asking him aboutgoing with my friends for
trekking but I did.
I looked at him and said,"Can I go with my friends for trekking? It is only for two nights.I won't do anything stupid
and will come back as soon as I can. Or you could call me if you wantme here and I will come back here
sooner."
My mom asked aboutgoing outwith her friends fo for some religious purpose and Istill remember mydad's
expression.My husband made the same.
He looked at me disgusted.He was clearlyangry. I felt naked in front of him for the first time but little did I know,
he was going to teach me to not be shameful when Iam naked.
"Ghauri", he said frustrated,"how many times have I told you that you are my wife? Why are you taking my
permission like that? Like you are a prisoner? In fact, why are you asking at all? Inform me and go. Don't beg for
it!", he said and walked away angrily.
My parents gave birth to me and they raised me,butI was only starting to live. My husband was teaching me
how to live.
I wentbehind him.He was looking down the balcony. I stood behind him and looked down as well.
"I am learning,please be patientwith me",I said looking down,probablyopening thatpart of me for the firsttime,
"My mother has given me thousand lists ofwhatI can do to fail has a wife and my dad has given me thousand
lists ofwhen to shutup. So, I am learning".
He laughed though Iwasn'tjoking. He said,"I apologize for laughing and for my earlier behavior.I will keep that
in my mind,if you promise me to remember thatyou are not in your home anymore.Ghauri, let the pastbe in the
past."
He touched my back for justone second as a comfortbut it was his firsttouch to me after I entered his house.It
was,in all honesty, special.And the more he called my name,the more it sounded special.
I started calling myfriends home for dinners.We sometimes drank the wine my husband broughtfor us.I was
living. My parents'greatestgift to me wasn'tgiving birth to me, their greatestgift was marrying me off to a
stranger.
One night, my husband and I were drinking.He asked me whatI want to become.
I barely whispered, "I want to become a writer."
The expression on his face was priceless,something Icould never forget. I had never seen him so happier and I
bet there were tears in his eyes. I would have never thoughtbut he had always wanted to be a writer too.
"Got too busy. Will you do that for both of us?",he asked me with smile filled with sadness and joy.
I could only manage a nod.
That night, I cried like never before. I covered my face with pillow tightly to protect the sound.I didn'tknow why I
was crying so hard but I wanted to scream.Isaw a black shadow near my door.He was standing there,watching
me.

3. I stood up and went to him and I kissed him.Ihugged him and kissed him again.Idragged him in the bed.
"You sure it isn'tthe wine doing?"he asked me.
I rolled my eyes and replied,"You sure you aren't a secretgay?"
He laughed,"You are aboutto find out." he said and pushed me on bed and kissed me while undressing me.
It was typical of me but I had to say it, I thought I owed it to him.I stopped him and said,"Before we start, I just
want you to know.I am not a virgin."
He waved his hand off and said,"I thought you were going to say that you have AIDS."
I laughed and pulled him close and kissed him.
And we did it. I had sex with him after three and half months ofour marriage.Letme scratch that, I made love to
my husband after three and half months ofour marriage and sure enough,he was straight.
I woke up the next day and looked at him sleeping peacefullybeside me.I was sure ofone thing like never
before.
I took out my diary and turned to the page where I wrote with a blue ink 'I married a stranger'.I picked the black
pen and wrote, 'and I fell in love with him'because Ireally had fallen deeply in love with him.I smiled and decided
to keep a promise Imade to him.I was going to write, I was always sure of that but what I didn'tknow was whatI
was going to write about. Now I did. I was going to write aboutus.