Did you know that there are 5 common love languages? We use all of them to a degree but tend to prefer 1 or 2 the most. Have you thought how that might affect your relationships and interactions? This article discusses the first love language, that being words of affirmation! I hope you gain as much from this as I have! It will truly help you in understanding your partner, family, friends and colleagues a whole lot better. It will also help you understand yourself and your needs even better!

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Words of Affirmation
Justine
What’s your love language? Words of Affirmation – Part 1
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I had a breakthrough in understanding relationships and people’s love languages about 9 years ago.
Well I actually discovered it inadvertently through observation of relationship problems someone
close to me was experiencing at the time. The couple went to couples counseling to help sort through
the major issues. The counselor told them about the 5 languages of love and gave them a book to
read. This helped them understand each other and those around them so much better. When they
explained the 5 love languages to me, I had an ‘aha’ moment as Oprah would say. So many
frustrations, miscommunications, feelings of being unloved or unappreciated in relationships, I saw
alot of them for what they were. Simply…the partner wasn’t using their partners primary love
languages. They may have been exhibiting their love in other ways and feeling at wits end, as to why. Well the why
was because although they were expressing their love, it was most likely in their love language. By now you might
be reading this and going what the hell is she on about o.O we all speak the same language don’t we? How hard is
it to show someone you love them. It isn’t….and to an extent we need all of those love languages, but overall we
favour 1 or 2 as our primary ways of feeling loved and if people that are close to us, are not sharing their
appreciation in those 2 ways, we may start to feel neglected.
Over the following week I will blog in detail about each love language. However, I have decided to split the love
languages into an individual blog about each love language. If I tried to write this all in one blog, well you’d be
reading for ages lol and I want to be sure that you truly understand the concept of these. I feel it is something truly
worth sharing with the world, if people got to understand each others love languages. There would be alot less
fighting, stress or feelings of neglect.
The first love language I’ve chosen to focus on today is “Words of Affirmation”. I’ve chosen this as the first, as it is
personally my number one love language!
So if you wanted to figure out a way to make me feel
special, valued or to build up my confidence, then words
would most assuredly be one of love languages to start
with. I love compliments, I love reading (words, beautiful
words), I love music and I can relate to the lyrics. I swear I
can think of a song for any mood I’m in. I also express my
care for people through words, I’m the type of person who
will always try to find a positive thing to say about
someone, to build up their confidence. I won’t say
something for the hell of it, and the compliments are
genuine. It’s just a habit I’ve learnt, wanting to make
people feel valued and special. I hate when people are so
down on themselves. The world can be a harsh and
judgmental place as it is, without us being just as harsh to
ourselves.
Now if you flip the words coin and look at the negative
side. People that are nasty to you, put you down etc. If words of affirmation is one of your top love languages, then
those words will really sink in and hurt. Whilst for someone who words are not their top love language, they might
be able to shrug off the negative words easily. Not let it affect them.
I remember in a past job, my boss wasn’t really one to let you know how they think you’re doing in your job. I of

2. Please take a compliment
course wanted to be sure I was doing a fantastic job. I felt I was, but given
I’m a words gal, even receiving that confirmation and pat on the back from
your boss can really lift you and build up your confidence. So if you’re not
getting it, you start getting paranoid and thinking, maybe they’re unhappy
with my work, why wouldn’t they let me know or encourage me. When in fact
they might very well be affirming me in other ways that I haven’t picked up
on.
Have you ever witnessed or been apart of a conversation where the wife or
husband might be frustrated and trying to figure out why their loved one is
so upset. In anger they might say I bring you gifts, I cleaned the house this
weekend and made you a special dinner. How can you not possibly feel
loved? To which the words person might pipe up with, that’s all very well but
when was the last time you told me you loved me, or complimented me,
telling me I’m beautiful, or valued my opinion, or brag to your friends about
me? If words of affirmation were not one of the top 2 for your partner then
you saying this would be cause for big frustration and thinking there’s no
pleasing you.
However, if you are to understand that words are important to your loved one. There are things you can do and say
to ensure your partner feels fully cherished. Remember to tell them you love them, compliment them when they
look nice, compliment their cooking, outfits. Tribute a song to them. Write a poem.
I will elaborate more on this tomorrow, so if you are interested to hear more about the love languages and how you
can apply this in your daily life. Check back with my blog for the next installment.
Till then if you know someone who’s love language is words of affirmation, then compliment them :P
Have a fantastic day
Look forward to talking with you again soon
Justine
—–PS if you would like to know how I earn money from blogging and marketing, then check out this link and sign
up for more information. I feel blessed for having received this opportunity to work from home and I Know you
would also, if you give it a try!!
www.lifestylebyyourdefinition.com

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