What makes a good Direct Salesperson? All sales require knowledge of the following: Small Talk Basics and Catharsis Theory Neuroeconomic Psychology Concepts Enemy Mine: embracing incompleteness Buyer Behaviors and the Buyer Cycle Management’s need to track the Sales Cycle When to Hard Sell and when to Soft Sell And, Sales Coaching (so to bring it all home)

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Holistic Handbook To Direct Sales
- 2013

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Introduction 1
One of mankind’s most important
personal and business concepts
is the idea of object-oriented
relational systems thinking.
Summarized by Aristotle in his
lectures on Metaphysics,
“The whole is more than the sum of its parts.”

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Introduction 2Direct Sales skills can be critically useful
to understanding such thinking as
Direct Sales is the most fundamental
step-by-step personal accelerant for
the development and restructuring of
inter-organizational and inter-personal
hierarchies, associations, and identities
So, for whom might Direct Sales be useful?

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Introduction 3For software development,
Object-Oriented Modeling (OOM)
is about understanding entity characteristics
and relationships instead of top-down tasks.
Rather than thinking about the tasks needed,Rather than thinking about the tasks needed,
say, to make a PB and jelly sandwich,
modern programmers consider instead
all of the possible relationships between
PB, jelly, bread, toaster, and the frig.

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Introduction 4
For data management,
Entity-Relationship Diagramming (ERD)
is a semantic data modeling technique
that uses a graphical representationthat uses a graphical representation
of system entities and their relationships
instead of just their application
as a basis for a unified view of data.

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Introduction 5For business process management,
Unified Modeling Language (UML)
focuses on the system entities,
their use, and relationships with the user,
proceeding from the outside inwards
to the objects that make things happen.
Such a workflow approach to analyzing
and managing a business process
is often used in combination with
object-oriented programming.

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Introduction 6For technology management,
DeMarco says in Peopleware the most
commonly written software is accounts
receivables (as everyone needs to get paid),
with likely hundreds of development teams so
working at this very moment. Over two thirds will
fail not due to misunderstanding the technology
but only to problems with human relationships.
“When projects fail,
it’s rarely technical.”
Jim Johnson, The Standish Group
1

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Introduction 7For accounting, the traditional focus was on
estimating the value of factories, trucks, and
machines based on the tasks they performed.
“Goodwill” is about paying, say, $20 million for
a company with $10 million in such tangiblea company with $10 million in such tangible
assetson the assumption that it’s “true” value is
based more on its potential relational synergy.
(e.g.: Raytheon’s asset list is half goodwill,
or in other words, assessed relationships)

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Introduction 8
As today’s accountant must estimate corporate
assets based on their potential relationships,
and, Activity Based Costing (ABC) gives
a new relational view from “cost centers,”
core to the “new” economy is intellectual
property and its relationship potential.

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Introduction 9For athletics, it turns out that great runners
naturally perform below their individual levels
as members of a relay team. It is supposed the
increased anonymity and reduced affect on the
outcome explain such performance declines.outcome explain such performance declines.
But, a strong and honest coach can flame the
desire to learn and produce by stroking team
relational affection to where member’s personal
times synergistically surpass all prior ceilings.

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Introduction 11
Historians agree the assassination of Archduke
Frances may have sparked the start of World
War I, but that the real causes of the conflict
were embedded in the political, economic, and
social relationships of Europe at that time.
While it’s popular to think that guns areWhile it’s popular to think that guns are
responsible for violence in Africa, political
scientists agree it is rather the well-intentioned
actions of American relief efforts that corrupt
government-citizen relationships by “giving
them fish instead of teaching them to fish.”

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Introduction 11Much like violence in Africa, violence in
American streets can only be truly addressed
when gangs are seen as key to the solution
instead of only as a key problem (gangs are a
natural result of the relational disorganization of
disfranchised Irish, Italian, Black, Hispanic, etc).disfranchised Irish, Italian, Black, Hispanic, etc).
While Chicago’s Vice Lords opened schools
and businesses and the Black Panthers gave
kids breakfast, the “War on Gangs” only caused
an end to reforms with more ghettos & violence
(it’s LA’s FACES that’s uniting the Red & Blue).

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Introduction 11
Dr. Hassan founded Ex-Moon Inc and later the
Freedom of Mind Resource Center. Dr. Hassan
argues successful groups are only those able to
influence the opinions of others. He says bad
cults work to think for other people while good
cults work to help people think for themselves.
Dr. Nicola Bunting says the ability to effectively
manipulate the opinions of others (as in sales,
preaching, or even teaching) is a postmodern
skill requirement. She calls those with immature
and impoverished personalities who but mouth
thoughts “schooled” them by others Zombies.

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Introduction 12Communism is firmly based on the idea that if
the “evil” system (of capitalism and religion) is
removed, a socialist man of perfect character
will emerge (but it hasn’t ever happened and
economist Steven Levitt and others have well
shown lone people are quite poor at assessing
risk and avoiding temptation) while democracy
is based on the idea that integrity is instead
simply about building quality relationships with
accountability from good checks and balances.

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Introduction 13The Fifth Discipline in Peter Senge’s book of
the same name (that Harvard Review saw as
most useful management text of last 75 years)
is about the reflective object-oriented relational
thinking that can integrate personal learning
(from personal mastery and mental models)
into corporate learning (of a shared vision)
with a spiritual interconnected sense of the
present as the only way to continually prove
that the whole can exceed the sum of its parts.

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Introduction 14Senge opens his later book, “Presence,” with
“unlike machines [which can be simply broken
down to understand and fix], living systems
are continually growing and changing, ” but
Stewart Brand showed even buildings are bestStewart Brand showed even buildings are best
viewed as living systems reshaped and refined
over time by their occupants in sharp contrast
to prior static “form follows function” thinking in
his inspirational book, “How Buildings Learn,
What Happens After They’re Built.” (1994)

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Introduction 15Moreover, automotive engineers long agreed
GM had to employ ten times as many people
to make about the same number of cars
as Toyota that were, sadly, less reliable both
from focusing more on reliability of parts
rather than the whole car and from using
strict fixed controls rather than human trust to
sustain long-term worker relationships.
The goal of Systems Thinking is to look beyond
seemingly “obvious” answers and understand
the complex relationships between entities.

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Introduction 16
The Systems Thinking / Dynamics approach
to teaching and learning was started at the
Catalina Foothills Orange Grove Middle School
(Tucson, Arizona) in 1994 and similar
programs now exist in Michigan, Oregon,
Massachusetts, Iowa, Georgia and Maryland
(see http://www.watersfoundation.org).(see http://www.watersfoundation.org).
Tools include computer simulations,
diagramming tools, systems games, and
physical activities (a science class, say, might
focus on biological systems where students
experiment with the relational impact of various
amounts of rain on the life of an ecosystem).

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Introduction 12It was said biology determined our destiny.
Now, however, neuroscientists agree skills and
personality have little to due with the brains
(and neurons) we were born with. It is instead
the growing synaptic networks (until age 25),
affected profoundly by teachers and parents,
that decide if we’ll grow up to be a surgeon or
a slacker. Good or bad, we are made by our
relationships during “windows of opportunity.”

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Introduction 10For adult or self-help therapy,
Dr. Henry Cloud showed in “How People Grow”
how the four popular Christian counseling
models (based on holy gifts and tasks) of the
Sin Model (Good is good, you’re bad stop it),
the Truth Model (just think it and do it), the
Experimental Model (dig up pain for praying),
and the Charismatic Healing Model never help
as much as one might expect and that only a
Relational Model can get past growth ceilings.

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Introduction 17For child delinquency therapy, S. D.
Elliot (1998) reviewed 500 violence prevention
programs (that mostly focused on tasks, e.g.:
zero tolerance, scared straight, DARE, boot
and wilderness camps – not addressing any
known risk factors and usually making things
worse) and only three (that focused instead on
relationships) did any good: Functional Family
Therapy, Oregon Treatment Foster Care,
and (the best) Multisystemic Therapy (MST).

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Introduction 18The MST professional must go beyond basic
Systems Theory to sufficiently address the
central interpersonal control and relationship
issues to predict which type of problems are
associated with which type of organizational
structures and interaction patterns. And, get the
required support to collectively brainstorm and
identify a specific problem behavior, the key
success factors for change, and strengths in
regards to the associated social factors.

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Introduction 19
Pirsig’s field of Metaphysics of Quality (intro-ed
with Zen and Motorcycle Maintenance) argues
that quality is both objective (essentialism) and
subjective (idealism), being greater than either.
Social Constructionism attempts to describeSocial Constructionism attempts to describe
how people cooperate in building the subjective
element of our social reality starting with Berger
and Luckmann claim in their 1966 “The Social
Construction of Reality” that all “reality” has a
social framework (also see Colbert’s Wikiality).

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Introduction 21
Plato’s definition of art as imitation was used in
the art world until last century’s anti-essentialist
movement, fueled by the collage art style (using
a collection of real items, e.g.: Picasso’s Still
Life with Chair Caning) that took us beyond the
cubistic illusion of multiple perspectives to a farcubistic illusion of multiple perspectives to a far
more messy and real collective view of the
spiritual impact of the world on our well-being.
Alas, the failure of many modern art books to
make a distinction between even montage and
collage threatens this reflective art revolution.

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Introduction 20Alas, even sales organizations typically don’t
understand the importance of such a collective
approach. “A 2008 Selling Power online survey
found that 29 percent of sales leaders judged
their CEO useless when it comes to creating atheir CEO useless when it comes to creating a
sale.” --Selling Power publisher Gerhard
Gschwandtner adds that before a company can
ever be customer centric it must first, of course,
be employee (especially direct sales) centric.

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Introduction 22So, who can benefit from Direct Sales skills?
Software developers, data architects,
managers, department heads, salespersons,
accountants, attorneys, coaches, historians,
politicians, architects, engineers, evangelists,politicians, architects, engineers, evangelists,
social workers, teachers, students, consultants,
therapists, sociologists, artists, and CEOs.
No matter your career path, To Sell Is Human
(Daniel Pink) to persuade and to understand.

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Introduction 22Process improvements generating exponential
paradigm shifts cause informational singularities
Such as the Agricultural Revolution for the
Hunter-Gatherer, then the Industrial Revolution,
and finally last century’s Information Revolution.and finally last century’s Information Revolution.
But, what might come next?
Many believe it will be a “fifth wave” revolution of
relational sciences as a new development basis
for a “new” economy based on social capital.

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Introduction 22Why did I build this presentation?
In the real world, egos and codependent
relationships often produce personal goals that
undermine best practices. And, trust is difficult in
a world of high-tech communications and globala world of high-tech communications and global
markets based on deceitful practices. Thus, it’s
hard to predict success for either an open “no
one at the top” or a charismatic management.
Or, nobody taught me what I needed to know.

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Introduction 22The Human Need To Be Seen
While many have shown neurotic transferences
of childhood events into our adult lives start
when parent, teacher, etc, prioritized their own
needs above our childhood needs, such canneeds above our childhood needs, such can
also occur due to fears over not being noticed.
Plus, the “new economy” business model is no
longer about making money, but social capital.
And, the science of being seen is called SALES.

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7-Point Lecture Agenda
1. What makes a good Direct Salesperson? →
All sales require knowledge of the following
2. Small Talk Basics and Catharsis Theory →
3. Neuroeconomic Psychology Concepts →3. Neuroeconomic Psychology Concepts →
4. Enemy Mine: embracing incompleteness →
5. Buyer Behaviors and the Buyer Cycle →
6. Management’s need to track the Sales Cycle →
7. When to Hard Sell and when to Soft Sell →
And, Sales Coaching (so to bring it all home)

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#1: Direct Sales Is The Best
• Anyone who changes people’s opinions and gains
commitments by building trusting relationships
– Thus, sales is no different from teaching or evangelism
in using “soft power” (not sticks or carrots) for change
• Gutek, et al (2000)
1
, found in multiple surveys that
<Home>
• Gutek, et al (2000) , found in multiple surveys that
when customers expected to interact with the
same person in the future, they reported more
trust in and better knowledge of their providers,
were more likely to continue doing business with
the provider, and were more likely to refer the
provider to others than customers who received a
different person each time they called or who
anticipated only a one time service encounter.

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Direct Sales DISC Profile
• William Marston’s “Emotions of Normal People”
(1928) Dual-axis (male/female) personality test
• Ideal DISC Profile of the successful sales person
– Hi Dominance: socially proactive (assertive or charming– Hi Dominance: socially proactive (assertive or charming
as the situation demands) with no fear of confrontation
– Hi Interpersonal Skills: a fast talking but warm extrovert
– Low Steadiness: preferring high stress environments
– Low Compliance: likes to be in charge using out of the
box ideas even if they may cause missed deadlines
• Also, self-motivated, independent, and confident
• Most aren’t and feel uneasy around sales people

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Valuable Sales Values
(need 1-2 “that’s definitely me”)
• Certain values are important to productive sales
– Discussing an “ideal” sales personality is really
about developing key fruitful relationship values
• Do you send out a hundred Christmas / birthday
cards each year to personal friends and family?cards each year to personal friends and family?
– Don’t claim this if it’s really your spouse that’s doing it
– Moreover, does this include a card for your butcher?
• Is it a rare occurrence that you eat lunch alone?
• Key to sales is a love for a “warm” market
Do you enjoy many brief encounters?
– Six degrees of separation is due to such “connectors”

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Valuable Sales Values (cont)
• Do you value being a provider, driven (not
possessed) by increasingly profitable efforts?
– Do you pay someone to iron your shirts and don’t have
extensive hobbies with “better” uses of your time?
• Were you able to talk your way out of trouble• Were you able to talk your way out of trouble
(and others in) as a child prodigy “spin” master?
– Or, do you value developing such skills currently?
• Do you have sufficiently “flexible” or “situational”
ethics (see “Thank you for Smoking”) or is it more
important for you to instead always be “right?”
– If an attorney, say, could you defend a murderer?

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Valuable Sales Values (cont)
• Are you driven by a love of information – if you
know about cars, is it, for example, from a love of
cars or more from a love of just any knowledge?
– Do you ask lots of questions from a curiosity to learn
from others (believing you can learn from anyone)?from others (believing you can learn from anyone)?
– Do friends turn to you for advice on purchases?
• Do you “need” to improve people (be “useful”)?
– Do you solve your own problems by solving other’s
and solve other’s problems by solving your own?
– Apostle Paul wholly failed as a evangelist until he
stopped for 20 years to work as a carpet salesman

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Any Good Professional 2
• Creative, energetic, with a good heart/manners
• Motivated, strong work ethic, feels accountable
• Flexible, creative, and often very open minded
• Intelligent, with common sense (“street smarts”)• Intelligent, with common sense (“street smarts”)
• Able to shift to organizational ecology as focus
• Open to peer supervision and working in teams
• Strong sense of ethics; keeps to higher ground
• Likely to volunteer to be trained or do training
• Willing to modify policies & dedicate resources
• Fully able to take the “lead” in decision making

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Vulnerable To Depression
• Ironically, these very same success producing
qualities often create a vulnerability to depression
• For one thing, many high achievers turn out to be
“super survivors” who come from backgrounds of
family violence or substance abuse (where thefamily violence or substance abuse (where the
parent’s needs took precedence over the child’s)
– Worry about living up to gender stereotypic worldview
(more often boys, 4 times more likely to commit suicide)
– And, their desire for long hours comes from learning to
delay gratification (often taken for emotional maturity)
– Thus, becoming a success is more fun than being one;
so, often depressed, bored, fearful, without an identity

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Must You Be Natural Born?
• Fewer than 15% of salespersons (the few who
can relate with buyer’s time, agenda, purpose,
etc.) drive over half of all sales – Why is this?
• Even in our democratic society, most people like
to believe that success must be born into youto believe that success must be born into you
– There are few sales degrees (but, that’s changing)
– 70% of managers believe success needs no training
– Forbes even lists Sales as one of the few top paying
professions with the least required education, but
• No, sales is science and the #1 antecedent is
the number of successful seminars completed
in people, sales, and time management skills!

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University Sales Programs 3
• William Paterson University: 1st B.S. in Prof. Sales
– Sponsors the National Sales Challenge Competition
• Kennesaw State Univ: Sales Major since 1989
– Sponsors National Collegiate Sales Competition
• University of Toledo: Accredited MBA Sales spec.• University of Toledo: Accredited MBA Sales spec.
• Western Michigan University: Sales Bus. Major
• Western Kentucky University: Sales Bus. Major
• College of St. Catherine: Healthcare Sales & B2B
• Illinois State university: Sales Major & Executive
• Specialized programs exist for Sports (Baylor), etc
• Online programs: Jones International, Kaplan, etc

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Common Sales Myths
• Selling is a numbers game. No, sales is not a
lottery won by those with the most tickets, but won
by better research, marketing, and relationships
– Sales is really far more like brain surgery than bingo
• You must like people. No, great selling is not
being willing to cozy up to anyone with a bankroll
• People must like you. No, people should trust
you; but, a good listener will outsell a fast talker
• Sales has its unavoidable ups and downs. No,
sales is only a process driven roller coaster ride
without well developed vision, goals, & planning

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More Common Sales Myths
• Rejection is the name of the game. No, it’s not
the sales person that loses, it’s the prospect’s loss
• You must develop a thick skin. No, having an
internal reservoir of strength for the inevitableinternal reservoir of strength for the inevitable
setbacks isn’t about being offensively aggressive.
Professional sales result in win-win situations.
– 85% of presidents, CEO, etc. were once salespeople
• Stress is inevitable. No, anyone can accept the
world for what it is and people for whom they are.
Sales is simply finding what people are doing and
helping them (providing leverage) to do it better.

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More Common Sales Myths
• The best salespeople naturally make the best
sales managers. No, top salespeople (just like
top engineers, top doctors, etc.) often make the
very worst sales managers (or whatever mgr).
• Everyone is a potential customer as you can
sell anybody anything anytime. No, some buy
today, some tomorrow, and clearly some never.
• You only need to hear six more no’s from
poor prospects and the next one is sure to
buy. No, you can hear 100 straight no’s and you
can still very well hear no from number 101.

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#1 Myth Is, Again, Activity
• “To double sales, see twice the people.”
• This makes the most sense to any door to door
salesperson selling a simple commodity but the
least sense to anyone using a value added modelleast sense to anyone using a value added model
– when it can actually even decrease your sales
• Prospect-to-sales and profit-per-client ratios (and
how they compare to the competition) are much
more useful – and, such ratios focus on what you
already have, not what you don’t
– And so, no, sales is a game of ratios (or rates)

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Sales isn’t a Game of Numbers
• You often see believers frantically tracking their
number of calls as well as their prospect visits
• But, sales is not a calculation (or lottery) because
it’s more about creating new relationships andit’s more about creating new relationships and
researching what potential clients most need
• Sales is a QUALITY numbers game. If you see
enough of the right people (qualified prospects),
building friendships, you will make lots of sales.
– And, the natural high volume of rejection from talking to
anyone and everyone will eventually take its toll on you

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While Yes Comes After No
• We are raised to believe we individually choose
to be winners who get yes’s or losers who get
no's, but real “winning” comes by desire to “lose”
– Businesses shown to succeed only by surviving failing
• We are all born with the ability to lose and some• We are all born with the ability to lose and some
learn to accept necessary losing in order to build
one’s comfort zone, but real success starts by
being attracted to no’s, losing, as well as conflict
• But, living up to one’s potential means losing
exponentially individually as well as in groups
– Quality is about continually increasing improvements,
or rate; not any level of performance, or number(s).

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But, “No” Really Hurts
• It’s a punch in the face (worse than sticks and
stones) – often comes after “It’s not personal”
• We have all experienced times of weakness and
powerlessness; it didn’t feel good. We’ve beenpowerlessness; it didn’t feel good. We’ve been
schooled to believe we must fit it. But, insecurity
is synonymous with a frantic need for security.
– In Start with NO, Jim Camp says “Fear of rejection is a
sign of neediness – specifically, the need to be liked”
and suggests we start every negotiation contrarily.
– “You do not need it. You only want it.” Being focused
on the end goal (the sales quota) can make you needy.

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How To Survive “Failing”
• A good sense of self and one’s vision statement
• Knowing how to break big failures into small ones
• Being good at having fun at any job (what I call
the Mary Poppins effect) and recharging quicklythe Mary Poppins effect) and recharging quickly
• Knowing customer, problems, needs, hopes, etc.
• Sources of sideline cheerleading & accountability
• Keep a journal of what you do “right” each day
• Chapter Four: Embracing One’s Incompleteness
– Emotional and strategy development through expert
extro-spection to better stimulate double-loop learning

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Comparing Sales To Marketing
• Marketing uses advertising, promotions, publicity,
and feedback to mold societal wants and products
to each other for greatest traffic “through the door”
– Marketing often starts in Sales to remove such research
load only later to manage Sales as last Marketing step,load only later to manage Sales as last Marketing step,
is this as marketing better understands relationships?
• Sales then converts those prospects into buyers
with expertise in “closing the deal” using personal
questioning to learn and satisfy customer wants
– “a systematic process of repetitive and measurable
milestones of relating a product to achieve buyer goals”
(see Selling Without Confrontation by Jack Green
4
)

49. 49
#2: Small Talk Outline
• First Impressions
– Giving them what they want to see and hear
– Don’t look like a salesperson fit in, like a zebra
• Small Talk and Networking
<Home>
– Mostly about shared affirmations and congruence
– Be purpose-driven and share topic negotiation
– Killing “speed bumps” with kindness and small gifts
• Catharsis Theory of shared experiences
– Developing shared emotional insight and affection
– Discovery (“active listening”) – not easily taught
– While always working to avoid any and all face threats

50. 50
Little Time For First Impressions
• Credibility established in opening statement
– 1/20th of second to develop an emotional attraction
– 3 seconds to be appealing and capture their attention
– 5 seconds to begin building a lasting first impression
• Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink 5
& Christine Perfetti’s 5-Sec Tests 6
• Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink 5
& Christine Perfetti’s 5-Sec Tests 6
– 8 seconds to finish a message THEY find interesting
• About the time it takes to slowly stroll past a exhibit booth
– Or else, they will become bored and move on
• Then, expect about seven follow-ups to fix things, if you can
• People enjoy being right and will continue on a
poor but immediately attractive person / web site
> So, you must be immediately attractive! <

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Instant “Halo” Generators 7
• Good looking + grooming + taller = Social Benefits
– Children know attractive kids are more often forgiven
• Compliments, even fake just like canned laughter
– Guinness’ Best Salesman Joe Girard sends a card to
all 13,000 car buyers every month saying “I like you!”all 13,000 car buyers every month saying “I like you!”
• Cooperative exercises or Good cop / Bad cop
– Finding “lost” money is more valuable than “saved”
– “If we ‘pull together,’ I can ‘do battle’ with my boss to
secure a good deal for you!” works even if you “fail”
• Association with good food as well as good news
– “Let me buy you lunch, we deserve to celebrate!”
• Authority with humility: “We’re # 2, but we try harder”

52. 52
Proxemics (Spacing and Posture)
• Influence is inversely proportional to the square
(or cube) of the distance between two people
– Intimate space goes to 18 inches; Personal to four
feet; Social to 12 feet; and, Public to 25 feet away (the
last two replace the primitive fight or flight space)last two replace the primitive fight or flight space)
• Humans make territorial claims just like animals
– Walking behind someone’s desk can be very invasive
• People use personal items like photos to mark their space
– Sociofugal spaces are organized for interpersonal
communication (square spaces more comfortable),
whereas sociopetal spaces encourage more solidarity
– Americans need to “get otta’ my face” while backing
away tells an Egyptian or Iranian they are unworthy

53. 53
Emulate A Close Relationship
• Smiling, general facial pleasantness, affirmative
head nods, gestural animation, head tilts, relaxed
body, lack of any random movements, open body
positions, and, most critical, postural congruence
(sit or stand in line with their position and posture)(sit or stand in line with their position and posture)
– Close, direct body orientation and leaning forward
– Mutual eye contact but decreasing eye movements
– Watch TV with a mirror and try emulating expressions
• Pitch variation, amplitude, duration, and warmth
– Reinforcing interjections such as “uh-huh” and “mm-
hmmm,” greater fluency, expressiveness, and clarity
• Above all, you must produce smooth turn-taking

54. 54
Appearance Congruence
• Clothes, speech, and image should express full
social agreement with the buyer (expectations)
– Execu-Speak to Managers, Techno-Speak to Geeks,
Denaro-Speak to Bean Counters, Slang to the Young
• Best to become like them be a chameleon!• Best to become like them be a chameleon!
– My 9-year old son saw me working on this slide and
cried out, “Dad, You mean, ‘be a zebra!’ Zebras
blend in with others while chameleons fade away.”
• You must also convey an honest desire to solve
their problems and not the need to make a sale
– Not be seen as pushy, self-centered, or manipulative
– But, appear as knowledgeable, honest, and genuine

55. 55
Don’t Look Like A Salesperson
• Your suit and tie can confirm buyer’s expectations
of yet another person only pretending to help and
a scripted opening may then validate such fears
– May yell, “Whatever you’re selling, we don’t want any!”
get in sync with the Buyer’s emotions• At least, get in sync with the Buyer’s emotions
– “Yes, I’m sure that’s true! Of course, you don’t! And,
who could blame you? But, you need it! Well, of course,
it’s not cheap. If you give me a minute, I’ll tell you why
you not only need to help me get a nice commission
paycheck but why you going to be thrilled to do so.”
– Amazon’s Customer Support e-mail replies are angry
about customer problems: “I’m very upset about ”

56. 56
Appear Genuine 8
• More than appearance and emotional syncing
• Maintain good eye contact – no darting about
• Animated (not fidgety), using hands for emphasis
• Don’t distance yourself with 2nd and 3rd person• Don’t distance yourself with 2nd and 3rd person
pronouns like “you,” “we,” and “they;” use names
• “To tell you the truth” or “to be perfectly honest”
suggests you normally lie – don’t say such things!
• Agree and compliment: “Great idea last week!”
• Ask permission, “Can I give you some ideas that
might enhance your office, project, or career?”

57. 57
And, Sound Connected
• Whether looking to connect with a client, or a
date, we might start off a conversation with
• “How was your day?”
• But reconsider, it would be better to start with• But reconsider, it would be better to start with
“How are you doing?” – the all time classic
• Or even better, “Is your mom / family doing well?”
• Or the ultimate, “I saw (or heard) something (say,
a presentation) today that made me think of you.”
• These questions sound like you want to “connect”
to the person’s current emotional state of mind

58. 58
Good vs. Great
• GOOD salespeople are polished and professional;
plus, they’ve got a great pitch and are very likable.
– BUT, they make most prospects wary. People may like
and even support them, but certainly don’t trust them.
• GREAT salespeople could look like above, or be• GREAT salespeople could look like above, or be
folksy like a good country preacher, or even be a
total mess but, great means being genuine!
– GREAT is about being stubborn, aggressive, and
persistent without ever being perceived as those things
– If you’re told you’re a great salesperson, you not! They
just bought something they normally wouldn’t have
– It’s much better if they say, “You make a lot of sense.”

59. 59
History of Small Talk Bonding
• Military salute originates from knights lifting their
visor when deciding not to fight – thus, it simply
says, “I see you and recognize you as an equal”
• Hand shake says, “Look, I am not carrying a
weapon – you can trust me (at least, to a point)”weapon – you can trust me (at least, to a point)”
• Small Talk should likewise communicate tone
and rhythm before “getting down to business”
• No real or “task” information should be shared –
moving too quickly “at” the person only says one
does not respect the other (figuratively has a
knife with visor closed) and is ready to be trouble

60. 60
Definition of Small Talk
• Often considered superficial, Small Talk is for:
– Starting and ending most any English interaction
– Filling uncomfortable silence – important to Americans
– Overall, helping build and maintain relationships
• Requires knowledge of small talk rules, language
fluency and vocabulary, and ability to discuss
many topics, esp. about yourself and their culture
• Meeting at a restaurant, you can say “Was there a
lot of traffic? Did you have any trouble finding the
building? I hope it doesn't rain again tomorrow.”
(from: http://www.voanews.com/specialenglish/archive/2007-10/2007-10-02-voa2.cfm)

61. 61
The Four Steps of Small Talk
1.It is best to start with the other person’s name:
“Hi Mike, I’m Jim. How are you doing?”
– The dominant interactant (or Alpha) speaks first
– “Good to see you” better than “Good to meet you”
>> Encourage other with several “yes” questions>> Encourage other with several “yes” questions
– “Enjoying the weather?” “Did you order this sunshine?”
– “Did you see the game yesterday?” “ the TV show?”
– “Is your mother / family well?” “Would you like a mint?”
2.Respond with whole sentence, no real information
– “Yes, it’s gorgeous. I love hot, sunny days.”
– “Yea, Mom is really enjoying retirement.”
– “I’m having a lot of trouble with my asthma.” <= NO!

62. 62
4 Steps of Small Talk (continued)
3.One can respond to the provided response by
– Echo question/statement (“Am I well?” or “You’re well.”)
– Checking back (“Is that right?” or “Did you say ?”)
– Acknowledgement (“I see”) or simple affirmation (“Yes”)
– Confirming an expected response (“Right,” “That’s– Confirming an expected response (“Right,” “That’s
true,” “That’s very astute,” or “Indeed, that has been
<my or other’s> experience”). The best response is
a very strong positive evaluation: “That’s great!”
4.The final move consists only of various idling
behavior (like “Mhm”, “Really”, “Yea”, etc.) until
starting over or ending w/ “Enjoy your weekend,”
“I enjoyed seeing you,” or “Have a great day!”

63. 63
Small Talk Builds Trust
• Moving too quickly is a face threat (for example,
asking a stranger how much money he or she has
or what kind of deodorant he or she prefers)
– But, Social Penetration Theory shows we like (or trust)
people who gradually engage in self-disclosure and wepeople who gradually engage in self-disclosure and we
tend as well to then disclose more to people we like
– “You’ve got to be believed to be heard” by Bert Decker
9
• Small Talk emphasizes interpersonal goals in a
ritualized way to “grease the wheels” of “task talk”
– Which works only IF there is a repeated sharing of
spoken (as well as appearance) affirmations
– So, we need them to say “yes” (most anything works)

64. 64
Networking Example
• Mike, good to see you.
Are you doing well?
• Is that right? So, is your
mom also doing OK?
• Thanks for asking, Jim.
Yes, I am (nodding).
• Yea, Mom’s really
enjoying retirement.mom also doing OK?
• That’s great! Mint?
• You’re welcome. Hey,
did you catch the local
ball game last night?
• That’s really true!
• I enjoyed seeing you.
enjoying retirement.
• Yes, thanks. [third yes]
• The warmer weather
makes going out to a
game much more fun.
• Mhm [third affirmation]
• Well, have a good day.

65. 65
Trawling
• Billy Beane of the Oakland A’s (who often beat
teams with 2.5 times larger budgets) calls the
constant networking he does with other General
Managers (keeping tabs on the information he
needs for future trading success) “Trawling”needs for future trading success) “Trawling”
– Trawling: fishing with two boats and a large net
• Beane also Trawls brochures and Web sites
• Beane also purposely Trawls all the players
– To help boost the value of one trade to get another
• He smells money if anyone says, “I have to ”
– Doesn’t even need to be in any way about baseball

66. 66
Know Where You’re Going
Realtor: Alright. From
your names, I can see
that you’re related. By
marriage, right?
Realtor: Really? When?
Client: Yes, we’re
newlyweds.
Client: June eleventh.Realtor: Really? When?
Realtor: Congratulations.
Realtor: Holy cow.
Realtor: You guys don’t
fool around, do you?
Client: June eleventh.
Client: We’re also
expecting a baby.
Client: In May. So. And
we want to buy a
house.
(From Negotiated Collusion by Cassell and Bickmore
10
)

67. 67
Where You’re Going (continued)
Realtor: You took awhile
to decide then it was
like, let’s do it all.
Realtor: That’s the way.
Do you know if it’s to
Client: Moving into the
new Millennium. So.
Client: We find out next
week.Do you know if it’s to
be a boy or a girl?
Realtor: When’s it’s due?
Realtor: Very good.
Realtor: Awesome. You
want the house before
the child?
week.
Client: May 29th.
Client: Yea. Good timing.
<= The Destination
(From Negotiated Collusion by Cassell and Bickmore 10
)

68. 68
Where You’re Going (continued)
• The Realtor was determining sale parameters
– How many Influencers are involved in the purchase
– The size of the family, and therefore, how big of a
house they will need near-term (may buy more later)
– The projected time line for the purchase and use– The projected time line for the purchase and use
• As well as critical social features of the clients
– Building rapport with small talk through intimacy with
self-disclosure, credibility with expert jargon, social
networking with gossip, and “face” with politeness
– How close they felt with her at that moment, and
therefore, how likely they are to want to work with her
– Never seeming to be (or actually being) in a hurry

69. 69
Be Purpose Driven
• Return to step #1 for “yes” sharing until leaving
– Susan Roane, the “Mingling Maven,” says effective
networking (which is only about small talk) requires a
person simply to, “Be bright. Be brief. Be gone.”
11
– Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone
12
) says don’t schmooze– Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone ) says don’t schmooze
– Dale Carnegie said smile, use name, question, listen
– Don’t Sell, but Network bumps and other influencers
• Or, decide it’s time for a deeper conversation
– Catharsistic communication consisting of emotional
insight, understanding, and actions of commitment
– Know your intent & mission (next sales cycle,
recommendation, etc.) and primary benefits
• 75% of people have no objective when making a sales call

70. 70
Be Empathetic
• Use “You” mode summarizing empathetic
statements: “You feel ” and “You’re feeling”
• Facilitate safe access to negative emotions and build
identification in order to even “read between the lines”
• Also, use “I” mode empathetic statements• Also, use “I” mode empathetic statements
temporarily assuming the other person’s identity:
“Mike, I’m really upset about [his problem]”
– This will help develop an understanding of the “real”
problems as well as communicate they’re not yours
– This externalization will help the client recognize other
perspectives and be more open to new solutions

71. 71
And, Share Topic Negotiation
• Rather than being introduced by one speaker
– Topics can be proposed via “topical bids” (such as “I
just got back from vacation”) and then accepted with
interest “topicalizers” (such as “Oh, yea?”)
– Proposals (“Well, that reminds me of a story.”)– Proposals (“Well, that reminds me of a story.”)
– Contributions should fit within the topic progression
• Gradual topic transitions in a smooth stepwise
and collaborative manner in order to display
mutual willingness to enter the new discussion
– “Intimacy is as much a ‘negotiated collusion’ as it is a
state of ‘true oneness’” (Brown and Rogers, 1991).
– See Cassell and Bickmore’s Negotiated Collusion
10

72. 72
Use Bridging Statements
• For moving from the Small Talk to the Work Talk
– Simplest: “Well, I don’t want to monopolize your time,
the reason/purpose for my call/e-mail/seeing you is ”
• Bridging is also used to restate prior information
with a confirming question to gain agreementwith a confirming question to gain agreement
– Normally, this would be used in later meetings with,
say, “Has anything changed since our last meeting?”
– Allow the customer to make corrections or additions
and then follow up by returning to another bridging
• Finally, bridging is used to the referral request
– “Since you’ve discovered first-hand my value-added
service, who else do you think can likewise benefit?”

73. 73
Are You Linked In? 13
• http://www.linkedin.com/ business oriented social
network includes cell phone access (5x yearly)
– Others are Facebook, Jigsaw, Orkut, Spoke, Xeegua
– First introduction, or take edge off of a first meeting
– Fundamentally changing the nature of lead generation
• Just E-mail a link before meeting with a prospect
– For a quick introduction, resume highlights, hobbies
– Letting prospects update their own contact information
– BUT, this also allows competition to see your contacts
– Spend 15 minutes a day researching targets, asking
for introductions, and reciprocating the same for others

74. 74
Identify “Speed Bumps”
• Anyone with the ability to slow down the sales
cycle: receptionists, secretaries, or assistants
– They can rob you of time and provide undue grief
• Acting like gate guards, they can be hard to get• Acting like gate guards, they can be hard to get
along with or impossible to get information from
– Can be “Speed Bumps” for many potential prospects;
plus, can easily be promoted to buyer in the future
• Develop long-term relationships by “killing” them
with kindness of flowers, candy, and small gifts
– Network (not sell) Buyer’s bumps, peers, and “heroes”
• New speed bump is the automated phone system

75. 75
Understand Catharsis Theory
• Aristotle said watching a tragedy can purge one
of strong emotions (also by Feshbach & Singer)
– Like blowing off steam or a good cry, if leads to change
• Strong empathy and psychological identification
can be developed by shared sensation seekingcan be developed by shared sensation seeking
– Can backfire, takes effort and time, better in person
– Golf, lunch, movie/date, Internet blogging, & YouTube
– Strategic and operational social marketing both use a
customer oriented and viral marketing approach from
sustainable marketing and social media optimization
techniques to “mashup” differing shared experiences
– Only if energy is directed into understanding problems

76. 76
Feeling Good Can Be Bad!
• In 1951, Powers & Witmer studied high-risk boys
– Half were counseled and sent to YMCA after 5 years,
therapists felt most had “benefited substantially;” boys
agreed: it gave them insight & kept them out of trouble.
• Yet, the “helped” boys committed more crimes &• Yet, the “helped” boys committed more crimes &
were more affected by alcoholism, mental illness,
and lower job satisfaction than those left alone.
– See The Crying Game
14
by Dr. Richard Bolstad
• Like therapy, crying, and even religion, sales only
has value if it encourages the individual to grow
and not simply to feel better about who they are!
– “If you’ve never been hurt by a word from God, you’ve
probably never heard Him speak.” – Amy Carmichael

77. 77
Developing Emotional Insight
• Sales and marketing based on people making
conscious and rational decisions is FALSE!
– Cognitive science shows 95% of all human behavior
(more for women) controlled by emotional connections
(familiars and whether they will make us look/feel good)(familiars and whether they will make us look/feel good)
• Products either cheaper or more loved – be loved!
– And yet, 90% of salespeople ask insulting questions
• Become aware of your own driving subconscious
feelings and pay more attention to context than
content (the “media is the message”) by isolating
your senses (body language and sound of voice)
– Listen and observe more while talking and acting less

78. 78
Emotional Insight (continued)
• Five Why’s
15
to discover underlying motivations
– Why is more emotional than How, Who, or When
– For example, community donations are not about how
much others are helped but acting on one’s beliefs and
micro-brewed beer is not about quality but showing offmicro-brewed beer is not about quality but showing off
– Mom’s prefer unhurried doctors with good eye contact
than degrees from top colleges and UPS customers
prefer feeling informed on options than fastest delivery
• Others: Why should they care? Have you grabbed
their interest? What should they feel? Why should
they believe you? Have you sold yourself as best
delivery? What do you want them to remember?

79. 79
Exchange of Information
• This means understanding rather than knowing
– Transmitting data is secondary in developing a lasting
understanding between people this is why most
bonding conversations involves no real exchange of
hard information at all. Alas, TVs, emails, cell phones,hard information at all. Alas, TVs, emails, cell phones,
and fewer places to assemble usually skip small talk
conversations today and makes building trust harder.
– We often send mixed messages, only repeat ourselves
instead of respond, use blocked body language, fail to
ask for feedback, and wholly miss critical cultural cues
– Ask more questions; don’t fall into features and price!
• Keep factual situational questions like how many to a minimum

80. 80
Info Exchange (continued)
• Most info should be about jokes and stories, food,
music, health, birthdays and anniversaries, items
for sale (EBay), playing games, and hobbies
• Physical proximity often facilitates learning about• Physical proximity often facilitates learning about
other’s interests and abilities, task coordination,
and builds relationships via informal, relatively
unplanned communications (e.g.: at water cooler)
– My favorite meetings are “accidental” ones in hallways
• Building trust with social dialog that begins with
non-intimate topics and then slowly progresses
– KISS: Keep It Simple but Smart, then more complex

81. 81
True Even For Virtual Agents
(Like MS Bob & Paper Clip)
From “Relational Agents
16
” by Timothy Bickmore and Justine Cassell
• Users prefer computers that compliment, use
humor, cultural lingo, & deepening self-disclosure
• Resnick & Lammers showed it is easier to alter
user behavior by corrective error messages via
different humanness levels for user self-esteemdifferent humanness levels for user self-esteem
– Task-oriented computer-ese for low self-esteem, more
human-like for high-esteem, Resnick/Lammers 1985
• REA is a real-time, life-sized Real Estate Agent
that responds to turn-taking gestures,
allows herself to be interrupted, repairs
misunderstandings, and elicits trust by
talking about the weather, herself, etc.

82. 82
The Critical Friendship Goal
• Closeness: each conversational topic has a
prerequisite familiarity before introducing it
(especially for sensitive topics like money)
>> This is why cold calls frequently fail! <<>> This is why cold calls frequently fail! <<
– Topic coherence and relevance: such as from weather,
to Boston weather, and finally to Boston real estate
– Task goals: discovering hidden key personal needs
– Logical preconditions: such as one must first determine
if a person is a student before asking them their major
If you can’t “Dad was replaced by a small gizmo that
could do everything he could; even Mom bought one!”

83. 83
Defining Power (Net Zero Sum)
• The ability of one to control the behavior of others
• Solidarity (or Brown and Levinson’s 1978 Social
Distance) is “like-mindedness” or similar behavior
dispositions (e.g., similar political membership,
family, religion, profession, interests, gender, etc)
• Familiarity develops with reciprocal exchanges,
beginning with non-intimate topics and gradually
progressing to more personal and private topics
– Growth can be represented by the breadth (number of
topics) and depth (public to private) of information
• Affect (trust) is degree of apreciating above two

84. 84
Defining “Face”
• Goffman defined “Line” as patterns of action by
which individuals present an image of themselves
and “Face” as “the positive social value a person
effectively claims for himself by the line others
assume he has taken during a particular contact.”assume he has taken during a particular contact.”
• Face is maintained by having one’s line accepted
– Events incompatible with how we want people to see
us must be avoided or mitigated so not to lose face
– Face threats from overt power, low familiarity, social
distance, and speech (informing, requesting, rejecting)
can force one to back off, to work “under the radar,” do
redressive (pos or neg) strategies, or perform poorly

85. 85
Redressing Face Threats
• Grice’s (1975) communication rules are: speak
truthfully, say no more or less than required, no
random topics but follow the “flow,” and be clear
• Missing manners to avoid Face Threatening Acts• Missing manners to avoid Face Threatening Acts
– E.g.: simple statements in text can be read as “flames”
• Could instead say nothing (but little profit in that)
• But, familiarity can turn threat into building bonds
– Building common ground starts with the weather, etc.,
building affective reactions (smiling), synchronizing
speech and appearance, and affirmations (small talk is
primarily about taking turns showing agreement)

86. 86
Sample Face Threat Redressings
(“Pass the salt” could be heard as a command)
• Best: “I’m sorry, but I’d be grateful for the salt.”
– Oriented towards the listener’s autonomy concerns with
an apology, incurred debt, and imposition minimization
• Pos: “Hey buddy, you want to pass me the salt?”
– Incorporates esteem needs and assumed compliance– Incorporates esteem needs and assumed compliance
– And, uses common ground, humor, & rewards/promises
• Off the record: “Mhm, I find this food a bit bland.”
– Plausible deniability with innuendo and ambiguous hint
• Min: “Could you just nudge that salt over here?”
• Def: “Excuse me, sir, would you pass the salt?”
• Pessimistic: “You’re not passing the salt, are you?”

87. 87
Influence of Small Talk on Affect
• Avoiding face threats
by sidestepping major
power imbalances
• Showing appreciation
for other’s contributionsfor other’s contributions
• Establishing a common
ground through stories
• Increasing familiarity &
solidarity by keeping to
contextual topics
• Building coordination
and positive affect with
short synchronizations
From “Relational Agents
16
” by Timothy Bickmore, Justine Cassell

88. 88
Resolving Bottlenecks
• First overt cause of conflict is the current or past
clash of values, personalities, or social norms
– Be flexible and objective; accept differences and others
– Be appreciative; give a smile or small gift (buy a drink)
– Switch perspectives and positions to walk in their shoes– Switch perspectives and positions to walk in their shoes
• Include someone objective or whom they respect
– Respected figures include Doctors, experts, and Mom
• Look ahead or even suspend discussions until
later, logic is constant but emotions are not (e.g.:
people are more generous during the holidays)
• But, there is also another unspoken root cause

89. 89
Discovery
• Must be practiced because it’s not easily taught
• Establishing a relaxed conversational rapport
that includes learning about the prospect is
essential before discussing the product on offer
• When it’s time for the final close, the answer will
be so obvious no real decision will be required
• While most professionals claim to know how key
this is, few are able to do so efficiently due to not
understanding basic human thinking and never
having been trained on how to phrase questions
– As a result, mismanaged efforts end up un-selling

90. 90
#3: Shrink Kit Outline
• “All people are out of their minds!” - Dr. Ellis
17
– Handling a neurotic or disordered buyer / company
• Understanding common verbal behaviors / clues
– Since, people almost never say what they really mean
<Home>
– How to negotiate with a difficult buyer (never argue!)
• Neuroeconomics (buying is emotional, not logical)
– Self-centered, concrete, contrast, short-term, & visual
– How to sell to the old brain and raise the unconscious
– Using crisis and shock, sell respectfully to the heart
– the goal is always a commitment, before any informing
• Change Agents persuade for more commitments

91. 91
“People Are Out Of Their Minds!”
(symptoms of unmet emotional needs => greatest need)
• Dr. Albert Ellis: “[People] are not only disturbed.
They get disturbed about their disturbances.”
17
– Murphy: any human system is inherently unreliable
• 30% of Americans clinically dissociated neurotics
– More doctor visits for neurotic stress than common cold– More doctor visits for neurotic stress than common cold
– Blame themselves, overworked, powerless, depressed,
codependent need to help, work as rescuers and fixers
• 15% of Americans serious personality disorders
– Detached, overemotional, and high risk for addictions,
reckless behavior, and clashes with societal norms
– “Persecuted” emotional vampires; work as councilors,
law enforcement, teachers, religious leaders, and
81% of high school bullies end up in management

92. 92
Handling the Neurotic Company
• All people / organizations exhibit some neuroses
– Conspicuous consumption (i.e. over eating / using)
– Constant need to check on others, micromanagement
– Shooting messengers of bad news to solve problems
• Criticizing (even constructively) only makes them• Criticizing (even constructively) only makes them
worse – better to overload them with unimportant
information, affirmations, gifts, 1-on-1 mirroring 18
– Post-trauma → “distraction therapy” overload with info
– Compulsive → provide affirmation esp. for failed efforts
– Prevalent depression → extra kindness and small gifts
– Denial → one-on-one focusing on mirroring behaviors

93. 93
Talking With A Narcissist
• Repeatedly find agreements, even the weather,
and get closure (confirm, close, & leave a topic)
• Sitting is better than standing for being calm
• Never validate their self-destructive delusions• Never validate their self-destructive delusions
• And, avoid trying to disprove their perceptions
• Be assertive and keep positive: never say, “No”
• No hedging or dilution such as “I feel awful, but”
• Persuade by focusing on interests, not positions
• Ask problem-solving and implication questions
that use their cooperation for building solutions

94. 94
Types of Personality Disorders
• Borderline Personality Disorder: wide mood
swings, rage, idealization and devaluation
– BPDs are the most difficult to read and deal with
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder: feels
superior and entitled to getting special treatmentsuperior and entitled to getting special treatment
• Histrionic Personality Disorder: needs chaos
• Anti-social Personality Disorder: disregard for
societal rules and demonstrates little empathy
• Dependent Personality Disorder: preoccupied
with their own helplessness and passivity

95. 95
Personality Disorder Overview
• Rigid and adversarial relationship perspectives
– Chronic inner distress (fear of abandonment) causes
excessive need for diminishing and controlling others
– Experts at blaming others (always better than self)
– Lying is often justified by hidden agenda or revenge– Lying is often justified by hidden agenda or revenge
– Motivated only by personal reasons (“Christ within”)
– Often uses intense fits in order to fool the naive person
• So, address their key P. A. S. S. emotional needs
– Power: often associated by the “power of the purse”
– Affiliation: they may need a new identity by association
– Status: they need to feel important, visible, and special
– Security: their need for safety overrides everything else

96. 96
Handling Personality Disorders
• Challenge carefully their attitudes about their role
in any negotiations, the accuracy of their views,
high expectations of the world to go their way,
and focus on reducing any and all their anxieties
• Maintain control of conversation, slowing down to
keep the conversation simple and well focused
• Here, one-on-one isn’t best; better to use a team
• Brainstorm solutions, get validation from those
they value, identify their particular strengths, and
encourage them to be part of the solution in order
to support their wholly desperate need for control

97. 97
Did You Hear? Use A Team!
• Use a pair of mature, autonomous salespeople
where one is the closest possible customer copy
– If prospect is a woman, have a woman on the team
– If an engineer, best to have an engineer on the team
• Thus, best to work with multi-person diverse team
– Varying age, gender, speech pattern, background, etc.
• In general, PDs are more focused and organized;
team will help maintain control of the conversation
– Ask neutral, circular, hypothesizing (to lead) questions
– E.g.: One team member could ask the other, “What do
you see as the biggest challenge being faced here?”

98. 98
78% Say Rudeness Increasing
• Likely unstimulated people feeling a lack of control
– esp. working with those of slower tempo under pressure
to produce in a hostile and uncreative STJ environment
– Connection to victims from hating what they can’t face
– Absence of parental involvement and repeated threat of– Absence of parental involvement and repeated threat of
rejection for children will develop either bully or victim
• And, people act according to the prevailing culture
– With men likely to be more rude only to underlings
– And, women equally rude to superiors and subordinates
• Repeat offenders without conflict resolution skills
often end up being passive and then explosive

99. 99
Because Rudeness Sadly Wins
• Univ of N. Carolina of 1,400 showed rude people
are 3 times more likely to be in higher positions
19
– Workplace bullying linked to over a third of all stress
illnesses (www.workingwounded.com, Joyner 2001)
– “If you had to brand managers with psycho jargon,– “If you had to brand managers with psycho jargon,
they’d be STJs on the Myers-Briggs personality test” –
psychologist Ted Bililies (Investment Leadership
20
)
– Harvard’s Teresa Amabile “Creativity in the workplace
get killed much more often than it gets supported.”
21
– Otto Krueger (Type Talk at Work with Janet Thresen),
“Striving for efficiency, managers may produce a work
force full of hostility, stress, and absenteeism.”
22

100. 100
Types of Rude People
• Reactive: poor socialization skills, poor inhibition,
low verbalization skills, rapid escalation of anger,
common subject of “anger management” referrals
• Instrumental: more competent, very possessive,
see others as needing them, and sees controllingsee others as needing them, and sees controlling
behavior as good and so no remorse. Consistent
with a borderline, bi-polar, or “closet” narcissist.
• Antisocial: uses relationships to further other
interests and does not develop such dependent
attachments as the instrumental personality; just
needs to relieve the sense of being controlled.

101. 101
Professional Victims
• Less experienced; are more naïve and trusting
– Blame themselves, finding it difficult to read people
– Always puts the needs and feelings of others first
– Often are high energy, hard working, and focused
• Feel they have no control and few alternatives,• Feel they have no control and few alternatives,
often embarrassed although ambivalent about it
• Psycho-physiological reactions include fatigue,
backaches, headaches, and inability to sleep
• Displays weaknesses: being depressed, upset,
and discussing it openly marks them by bullies
• Bullies and victims have stereotypical relationship
views plus overwhelming fear of powerlessness

102. 102
Handling A Bully Or A Victim
• Use a positive approach to get positive results
– See rudeness / victim-ness as challenging not difficult
– Do they need professional help or stress / overloaded?
– See sales opportunity left by others just giving up early
• Start neutral; be clear and direct; use light humor
• No hedging like “Sorry, I feel awful about this”
• Never “this is just how it is” or start extreme then
back off – as both force the person to save face
• Be empathetic and never address anger directly
• Use follow-ups for cooling down & getting off self

103. 103
If You’re The Bully / Victim
• Do you hear yourself saying, “I can always do
better” or “I need to be in control of my feelings?”
• Joke about being OCD? (Which is actually more
likely for a Social Phobic than OCD personality)likely for a Social Phobic than OCD personality)
• Assertive Communication Training for withdrawn
victim; Empathy Training for disassociated bully
• Social Skill and Sensitivity Reduction Training for
hyper-vigilance “trust issues” common to both
• Time Management (Daily Log) for avoidance
• May need family intervention and couples therapy

104. 104
Empathetic Better Than Active
• Active Listening is not only about listening to the
words, intonation, and observing body language
but also about asking key open-ended questions
– Analytical, empty of two-way emotional involvement
• Empathetic Listening is about more than getting
key information in a non-judgmental way using
good etiquette (often for a manipulative motive)
• But, empathetic listening includes reactions with
feedback and checking emotional understanding
– Honest in expressing disagreement (civilly) while
also expressing genuine interest in the other’s opinion

105. 105
But, Facilitative Is Best
• Facilitative Listening goes beyond empathetic as
it implies you are able to facilitate other person’s
need to communicate (building safe boundaries)
– Being self-aware to exercise caution for the other
(more than getting past the “words” to the meaning)(more than getting past the “words” to the meaning)
– And so, more than achieving desired outcomes
• This requires you have thought (and practiced)
very carefully what you will ask and how you will
respond – including providing timely pauses – to
facilitate seeing and understanding all the options
– Devoid of any selfish motives other than to help

106. 106
Handling Everyone Else 23
• Drivers like to dominate proceedings: you must
not challenge this desire but be mildly submissive
by only offering suggestions (“Power” strategy)
• Communicators are motivated most by new ideas
and the opinions of others (“People” strategy)and the opinions of others (“People” strategy)
• Planners dislike conflict and so need more time to
decide as well as guarantees (“Promise” strategy)
• Analysts focus on the details on implementation
and maintenance tasks (“Proof” strategy)
• Assertive: Power/People; Open: People/Promise;
Passive: Promise/Proof; Controlling: Proof/Power
< Which style above would best sell to you? >

107. 107
Perhaps, Shock For Stubborn
• Cop answers domestic violence call – they don’t
want him there – he passes right by the couple
in heated debate (they pay him little attention),
reads a paper for a while, makes a mock phone
call during which he yells, “What do you meancall during which he yells, “What do you mean
this is tool late to call!” to first get their attention.
– See George Thompson’s Verbal Judo (1993)
24
• Salesperson works all morning making hundreds
of small icons to throw out of a bag as soon as
she enters a sales call and yells, “These are the
customers you’ll gain by using my services!” Her
assistant cleans up as she continues her pitch.

108. 108
Distraction Therapy (continued)
• William Booth would often talk to his umbrella like
a madman in order to attract a crowd and was so
confrontational England’s Lord Shaftesbury even
called him the Anti-Christ. But, he attracted over
half of London’s Christians to his churches andhalf of London’s Christians to his churches and
his Salvation Army is now in over 100 countries!
– Business guru Peter Drucker called the $2 billion a year
charity unique among all charities and “By far the most
effective organization in the United States. No one even
comes close to it in respect to clarity of mission, ability
to motivate, measurable results, dedication, and putting
money to maximum use.” (Forbes, August 11, 1997)

109. 109
Verbal Judo 24
• Best way for a cop to get hospitalized is by laying
down the law with lines like, “I’m not going to say
this again!” and “Why don’t you be reasonable?”
– Parents, judges, etc often similarly kill all win-win
opportunities; only really useful when not expectedopportunities; only really useful when not expected
– The same is true of the ageless positional negotiating
minuet that starts with an extreme anchoring point and
tends to lock participants into positions to save face
• In the real world, egos and codependences often
produce settings that simply prevent mutual gains
– Learn how to use words and phrases to lead, persuade,
clarify, diffuse, and navigate nearly any situation; avoid
ego mistakes as well as learn communication profiling.

110. 110
Pathology Review
• Any person or organization that does not perceive
its own pathology will eventually self-destruct
– Usually by refusing to see internal problems and then
projecting troubles (and “solutions”) on external sources
• People never say what they mean - Virginia Satir• People never say what they mean - Virginia Satir
– E.g.: 80% of products popular in surveys never sell!
• Mental health begins with consciousness
– Serge refers to this higher-order as spiritual “Presence”
– Determine if current solutions have been coerced
• Focus on future and goals, not past or present
– Start by defusing anger with agreement, say yes a lot
– Suzette Elgin’s The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense
25

111. 111
Exposure Behavior Theory
• EBT assumes behavior is based on avoidance –
avoiding things we fear: heights, failure, people
• Accordingly, direct confrontation of the “monster”
would be best way to overcome irrational fears
• Goal is thusly to flood client with “monster” issues
– Ask imposing, intrusive, uncomfortable questions,
but only after reinforcing what they’re doing right
• Allow your weaknesses be your strengths; when
Apostle Paul prayed about his physical problems,
God said, “Strength is revealed thru weakness”
– “Avoidance is the cause of all anxiety; exposure is the
cure for all anxiety” – the Tibetan Book of the Dead

112. 112
Hidden Emotion Theory
• HET assumes anxious behavior is based on one
being too accommodating by avoiding feelings
• Goal is therefore to expose the hidden feelings,
address and resolve the underlying problemsaddress and resolve the underlying problems
– “How would you feel?” “How might others feel?”
• Problem not in past; it’s right now, but hidden
– Must understand client’s emotional point of view
• Being ready with ways to minimize their fears
– “Stop letting other people cheat you out of the income
you deserve” “Your life may depend on this information”

113. 113
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy
• CBT assumes behavior is based on our thoughts;
not any objective reality of people or situations
– How you think is how you feel so think better
– First, thinking must be “monitored” to be altered
– Requires one be verbal, independent, and reflective
• Active Socratic confrontation by asking questions,
“How do you know this to be true?” to rationally
challenge their self-destructive unauthentic ideas
– We all think we must be perfect and loved by everyone
– Trust is first required to help build critical thinking skills
– The secret is Think Stopping: “No, wait. Slow down.”

114. 114
Ellis’ ABC’s of Irrational Beliefs 26
• A: Activating event triggering negative thinking
• B: Belief triggered (or transferred) by this event
• C: Consequence of ensuing dysfunctional feelings
• D: Dispute feelings: question other possibilities• D: Dispute feelings: question other possibilities
• E: Effect of dispute: new emotional consequence
• Goal is to challenge & reframe ABC progression
– No need to understand any personal childhood issues;
focus on adult strengths for self-soothing self-validation
– ABC plan focuses on conflicting beliefs to produce new
feelings and reengineer personal goals (to improve the
behavior and not the psyche) from rationality & control

115. 115
Sport’s Self-Talk
• All about gaining control to make solution-minded
positive goal statements you want to come true,
such as “How am I going to make this happen?”
– See yourself doing / saying what you what to do / say
• Your mind set should not be about whether you’ll
make a mistake but how fast you can recover.
Take one thing at a time, living in the moment.
• Practice feeling in your “New Brain” and removing
extra thoughts, like anxiety, from your “Old Brain”
– Don’t try to control everything practice just doing it!
• This has NOTHING to do with “The Secret!”

116. 116
Not Necessarily Introspection
• Behaviorists showed long ago that self-reflection
was unreliable, providing only subjective gains
– We’re all thieving liars - the MMPI personality test uses
as proof you're a liar if you refuse to admit you’re a thief
• Hence, the need for extrospection or external• Hence, the need for extrospection or external
observations (preacher, teacher, a salesperson)
– But, the external observer can still engage someone in
“thinking aloud” to better understand their perspective
• Discriminate and debate unrealistic demands from
ignored rational solutions, “Where is it written?”
– Creating transforming ideas for benefits of your product

117. 117
The Satir Process 27
• Making contact: slow down and pay attention to
your breath, thoughts, as well as those of others
• Validating: value your resources, and of others
• Becoming Aware: of your inner process and• Becoming Aware: of your inner process and
behavior, as well as conscious of those of others
• Opening: gain insight of people’s differences and
acceptance of resulting strengths & contradictions
• Conscious Choosing: helping yourself and others
• Seeking / Giving Support: proactively seek and
give support when needed, “How can I help?”

118. 118
The Five Verbal Profiles
(And, what they say in a stuck elevator)
• Computer: “There is undoubtedly some perfectly
simple reason why this elevator is not moving.
Certainly, there is no cause whatever for alarm.”
• Placater: “Oh, I hope I didn’t cause this.”
• Blamer: “Which one of you idiots did this?!?”• Blamer: “Which one of you idiots did this?!?”
• Distracter: “Did one of you hit the Stop Button?
Oh, I didn’t mean that; of course none of you
would do anything like that! Why do things like
this happen to me? There must be a reason.”
• Leveler or Phony: “Personally, I’m scared.”
< Which sounds like what you might say? >
See Virginia Satir’s Peoplemaking (Science and Behavior Books, 1972)28

119. 119
The Five Non-Verbal Profiles
• Computer: “Stiff, rigid, moving little as possible”
• Placater: “Cling and fidget and lean on others”
• Blamer: “Shake their fists or index fingers; they
scowl and frown and loom over people”
• Distracter: “Again cycle though the other modes
with their bodies just as they do with their heads”
• Leveler or Phony: “Distinguished by the absence
of rigidity, fidgeting and leaning, & shaking hands;
words and actions in harmony with true feelings
can sometimes be mistaken for flaming blamer”
< Which looks like what you might do? >

120. 120
The Underlying Fears
• “Computer” (Earth force): afraid of own feelings
• “Placater” (Water force): afraid that people will
become angry and never come back again
• “Blamer” (Fire force): afraid there is no real love
• “Distracter” (Wind force): in full-time chaotic panic
• “Leveler” (Emptiness force) displays genuine
feelings and is, of course, the easiest to handle
• The hardest to spot, sadly often found in sales, is
the “Phony Leveler” (Evil force): fear losing control
and disappearing (needing to control to feel real)
< Which primary force or fear drives you? >

121. 121
Comparing Profile Theories
Ancient Dr. Satir M. Gladwell DISC
Earth Computer Maven/Teacher Conscientious
Water Placater [Technical] Steadiness
Fire Blamer Salesperson Dominance
Wind Distracter Social Connector InfluenceWind Distracter Social Connector Influence
• Malcolm Gladwell’s “The Tipping Point” seems to
refer to the Computer, Blamer, and Distracter, as
the Maven (or Teacher), Salesperson (persuader)
and Social Connector (who likes casual meetings)
• “Technical” profile is not an effective change agent
• DISC provides corresponding VALUE profiles

122. 122
Lack of Self Differentiation
• Both Bullies (Fire) and Victims (Water) depend
on external approval; Bullies push, Victims pull
• Rebels only fake “Self” by opposing all positions
– Either extravert (Wind) or seeming extrovert (Earth)– Either extravert (Wind) or seeming extrovert (Earth)
• All threatened by debate: one adjusts just too
quickly, one overly demanding, one builds walls
• But, such emotional responses to conflict is far
better than no emotions at all (the sociopath)
• No getting better, only aware & less at mercy to
momentary feelings (“sin free while still sinning”)

123. 123
Typical Conflict Resolutions
• Power Balance: balancing control challenges,
often by excessive attention to each other’s faults
• Bullying: one successfully forces (with facts and
chaos by Rebel or guilt by Bully/Victim) the way
all others think and act (with group’s permission)all others think and act (with group’s permission)
• Victiming: group agreement to project anxieties
onto but one member who then takes the “fall”
• Emotional Distancing: group agrees to back off
to reduce conflict intensity – new relationships
often overly important (rebounds) with increased
blame for others (Fire/Wind) or self (Earth/Water)

124. 124
Group Theory Metrics
• Boundaries: rigid/unclear roles or easy to speak
• Power: but one dominator - or - team like equality
• Freedom of expression: feelings hidden or open
• Warmth: fun at someone’s expense or good times• Warmth: fun at someone’s expense or good times
• Negotiation skills: forced compliance or unit amity
• Moving from dysfunctional to healthy requires
everyone’s input to identify cultural influences,
problems, goals, as well as potential solutions –
we all know about danger of a “2-legged stool”
• Will group (and each member) help or hinder?

125. 125
Group Theory (continued)
• While stereotyping bad, people do tend to behave
in ways consistent with their group memberships
• Habits passed on (cultural) so individual, family, &
business problems are always generations deepbusiness problems are always generations deep
– So, you must involve not just all the current members,
but memories of founders and group heroes as well
• When we hear words like Banker, Preacher, or
Lumberjack, we have common images stronger
than all the facts, guilt, and chaos in the world
– So, you must either involve all their prejudices as well
or just face the simple fact that no sale is possible

126. 126
Don’t Deal With What They Say
• Important to understand power presuppositions
(suggestions of power in a given linguistic stimuli)
– E.g.: Even you should be able to understand this!
• Power is commonly called a net zero sum product
– This means either you have it or someone else has it
– Must be on higher ground for the ethical use of power
• Concede minor points to focus on important ones
• Start as “Computer” and identify negotiation style
– Compromise, helping, collaborate, avoid, or compete
• Use bridging, clarifying, and strategy questions
– To demonstrate concern and clarify other’s objectives

127. 127
Review of Resolution Process
• People don’t give up as invested in being right
– Probe for vested assumptions, goals, and processes
• Talk fast – but, slow down thinking & responses
• Understand types of people and behavior styles• Understand types of people and behavior styles
• Conflict resolution is a process and not an end
• Learn to make peace with the impossible person
– Practice saving face and being a grace dispenser
• Use your own profile to develop an action plan
for your own emotional and spiritual growth
• Finally, learn to avoid being the difficult person

128. 128
Neuroeconomics
• Draws on neuroscience, economics, business
research, and psychology to confirm emotions
(e.g.: hope and fear) form most economic choices
– Simple pleasure of product vs. pain of losing cash (can
explain why consumers spend more with credit cards)explain why consumers spend more with credit cards)
– New brain thinks, Middle brain feels, Old brain decides
– Selling Probability = Pain x Claim x Gain x Old Brain
– Consumers often can’t articulate what they want and
properly helping them requires finding higher ground
• Unconscious “priming” of brand loyalty (“love”)
and assimilation requires a repeated message

129. 129
What Is The “Old Brain?” 29
• Old Brain limits decisions and what Middle Brain
sensory information will make it to the New Brain
– Self-centered: center of “ME” for survival and well-being
– Needs contrast: comparisons allow for quick decisions
– And, concrete: appreciates simple, easy to grasp ideas
– Short term: remembers only first and last Impressions
– Visual: sight is processed 25 times faster than hearing
– Emotional: key to memory success (and transferences)
• Renvoise says diagnose the pain, differentiate the
claim, demonstrate the gain, deliver to Old Brain
– Don’t say, “We are leaders...” But, “We are the only...”

130. 130
Determining The Old Brain Pain
• Open questions, summarize, give them the “pen”
– Or, 10-20 in-depth interviews to find team motivations
• What is the number one pressing problem?
– Marketing is defined as positioning a bike, bus, or car
as best solution to living a mile from work – BUT, it’sas best solution to living a mile from work – BUT, it’s
first promoting living a mile from work to problem status
– Selling too early may miss bigger problem and sale
• Explore for what is the source, intensity (time and
money spent on solution), and timing of the pain?
– Loss of money, business control, personal energy
– Take data from Competitive & Leadership Assessments
• Then, raise the unconscious to the conscious

131. 131
Raising The Unconscious
• Conscious thinking makes only 5% of decisions
– Harvard psychologist Daniel Wegner states,” The
illusion of will is so compelling that it can prompt the
belief that acts were intended when they could not be.”
– Many more units are sold at $9.99 than at $10.00– Many more units are sold at $9.99 than at $10.00
– Metaphors: Koala for warm and Polar Bear for cold
• Understanding our metaphors and myths can
help access what we really think and feel inside
– Response latency, voice stress, and particular word
pairings can also indicate “demons” in responses
• A backdrop of diverse experiences as well as a
restlessness for quality can help raise the “dead”

132. 132
Only Reason Sales Fail: Respect
(After being unqualified: no use, budget, or sign off)
1. You don’t respect the buyer or experiences
– Is your solution for a problem they don’t even have?
– Are you ignoring prospect’s preferred buying patterns?
2. You don’t respect yourself or your profession
– Be a life long student and learn how to say “No!”
3. You don’t respect your products and/or services
– Know your strengths & markets or, find another line
Respect comes from deep passions and strong
convictions – remember the effort you’ve made,
commit to a fair price, and then brag, brag, brag

133. 133
Relationships Come First
• Traditional Sales Approach is to
– Smile and dial, great opening, wow w/ great numbers,
let the buyer think he is calling the shots and your only
client, and ask for referrals after a successful project
• First, however, work to get out of your own way• First, however, work to get out of your own way
– Ask uninformed questions forgetting your product
– Brainstorm to see all solutions, looking to “free” internal
resources first to help them solve their own problems
– Avoid the comfortable, seeking the emotional & difficult
• As they want the story teller to be entertaining and persuasive
– Get in touch with your values and how they define you,
as we too often use only our heads and not our hearts

134. 134
Selling First To The “Heart”
• Logic automatically and unconsciously comes in
only afterwards to justify decisions already made
– Buyer states current vendor is deadline dysfunctional
– Traditional sales advice is, “I understand. I have three– Traditional sales advice is, “I understand. I have three
surveys that rank us first in on-time performance.”
– Better to talk from and to the heart, “Missed deadlines?
That must have been very frustrating... I appreciate you
being so honest with me. I could tell you we’re the most
reliable – and we are. I can’t promise we’ll never make
a mistake, but here’s how to contact me 24 / 7 ”
• More risk = more emotion = less facts & numbers

135. 135
Selling Is Not Informing!
• Galileo proved to his students at the University
of Pisa that Aristotle was wrong to say heavier
items of similar size would fall faster, BUT the
University continued teaching Aristotle’s reality
>> He had taught but not persuaded <<
• Selling (as any changed behavior) doesn’t use
teaching, debating, or even presenting skills
– Intensity no substitute for long-haul value of integrity
– So, Socrates (as did Christ) used questions to lead
• Presentations & teaching come only after selling
– If only Escalante, Coase, and van Gough knew sales!

136. 136
van Gough, Coase, Escalante
• Vincent van Gough sold only one picture in his
life out of over 2,000 works (The Red Vineyard)
• Ronald Coase was awarded the Nobel prize for
Economics in 1991 for a paper he wrote in 1937Economics in 1991 for a paper he wrote in 1937
• Jamie Escalante sent more East LA HS students
to college (& AP Calculus exam) than Hollywood
HS, but after “Stand and Deliver” fame, he was
reassigned to asbestos removal and kicked out
– Alas, John Perex, VP of Teachers Union, explained
afterwards, “Jaime didn’t get along with some of the
teachers at his school; he pretty much was a loner.”

137. 137
Persuasion Is Not Reason
• The compliance or motivation by words, tone, etc.
– Aristotle detailed 4 kinds of appeals: Ethical, Personal,
Practical, and Rational (with the last being the weakest)
• Best augment combines ethical and personal
– Ethical: rooted in how people see you, your consistency
– Personal: knowing their selfish best interests; “if they’ve
something to gain or lose, you’ve got something to use”
• Practical appeal best sold with offbeat humor
– Broken rhythm in not doing what is expected in order to
surprise and soften – also key to using all four appeals
• Don’t rely on logic; lead them with open questions

138. 138
Broken Rhythm
• Bruce Lee
30
, perhaps the most accomplished
martial artist, strongly believed “broken rhythm”
was essential in overcoming others; dependence
on routine and predictability (like practiced sales
scripts), he said, produced a “classical mess”scripts), he said, produced a “classical mess”
– Change target, technique, stance, pace, attitude, etc
– Sales is about helping people decipher their values
• Don’t sound like your reading a script; be more
deliberate, practice different routines w/ surprises
• Consider other perspectives, selling to different
audiences (say, teenagers) while staying focused

139. 139
The Most Persuasive Words
• Save
• Safety
• Sex
• Love
• You
• Money
• Commit
• New
• However, the
number one
word people
most like to
• Love
• Proven
• Discovery
• Guarantee
• Why/Because
• New
• Free
• Results
• Easy
• Health
most like to
hear over
and over is
Their name!

140. 140
Persuasion Overview
• More small talk needed for active extroverts than
passive introverts (w/ more of a task orientation)
• Develop a rapport based on a common ground
– Look for clues from what’s hanging on their walls
– Move to economy or light politics in social environment– Move to economy or light politics in social environment
(or light personal topics when filling awkward silences)
• Plan Ahead: your bottom line, their substitute,
everyone’s interests, and all possible outcomes
– Let your secret Plan-B help shape your Plan-A strategy
• Persistence & patience for actions of commitment
– Know best possible & minimum you are willing to walk
away with: “Will you if you can’t do that, can you ”

141. 141
Goal Is Always A Commitment
• THE goal is a commitment based on a respect for
your opinion and trust for your recommendations
– Relationships only end from low commitment level (it is
never due to communications, compatibility, or effort)
• Most people are twice as likely to agree to even• Most people are twice as likely to agree to even
outlandish requests after agreeing to a small one
– Group commitments also increase individual actions
• Compliments based on smaller actions increases
chances of making larger actions & commitments
– Help people to positively see themselves as a buyer
– Marketing is only about creating qualified sales leads!

142. 142
Becoming A Change Agent
(when products require new processes)
• After assessing vision support, convey credible
expectations with empathy and involvement for
the pain and work a proposed change may bring
– Persuasion is the fruit of efforts towards understanding
• Kurt Lewin asserted change requires unfreezing• Kurt Lewin asserted change requires unfreezing
the status quo, changing to a new state, and then
refreezing the new change to make it permanent
– Present deficiencies to arouse dissatisfaction to crisis
– Get top support to tie rewards to use of new products
– Establish new beliefs, target goals, stop rumours
– Provide training & celebrate “death” of old system
Unfreezing Movement Refreezing

143. 143
The Status Quo Learning CurveProductivity
Unfreeze PhaseUnfreeze Phase Change PhaseChange Phase Refreeze PhaseRefreeze Phase
Either decrease
restraining
forces And, then expect
temporary decline
Restraining
Forces
“Today’s illiterate are not those who cannot read or write, but
those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.” -- Alvin Toffler
Time
Productivity
Or, increase
driving forces
temporary decline
in performance
before formalizing
changes for
improvement
Driving
Forces

144. 144
Vectors of Development
144
© 2005 Accelerating.org

145. 145
• Culture – underlying values and goals
• Structure – authority relations, coordination
mechanisms, communications, and job design
• Technology – processes, methods, tools, etc
What Can Be Changed?
• Technology – processes, methods, tools, etc
• Physical Setting – workplace space and layout
• People – skills, expectations, and behaviors
• How can such changes help sell the product?
Tech
nology
Physical
Setting
PeopleStructureCulture

146. 146
Organizational Kinetics
(innovative products require a crisis)
• Organizations tend to move in straight lines until
impacted by collisions with other social groups
– Inertia is the tendency to maintain the status quo
– Best motivator is thusly competent competition (crisis)
• Inert Organizations rarely adopt innovations, are
focused on survival, and fail to constantly test
• Dynamic Organizations are fast, active, learning,
proactive, and agile enough to “create change”
• Peter Drucker said, “The best way to deal with
the future is to create it. By the time you catch
up to change, the competition is ahead of you.”

147. 147
Six Crisis Forces For Change
• Workforce is more culturally diverse and many
employees are lacking in the most basic skills
• Technology is replacing narrow, routine tasks
with those requiring team, multi-tasking efforts
• Economic Shocks such as Asian real estate• Economic Shocks such as Asian real estate
collapse and Russian devaluation of the ruble
• Competition is more global, involves more
mergers, and includes more Internet commerce
• Social Trends include delaying marriage, anti-
smoking attitudes, and the popularity of SUVs
• World Politics such as U.S. embargo of Lybia,
Soviet collapse, and Black rule in South Africa

148. 148
#4: Enemy Mine
• Effective interaction begins by looking inward
– At the well-being of your company as well as yourself
– “Whoever has a why to live for can overcome any how”
• Integrity is good, but where does a firm begin?
– Learn BSC, AIE, SWOT, CSF, Mission, Values, Vision
<Home>
– Learn BSC, AIE, SWOT, CSF, Mission, Values, Vision
• Personal makeover by embracing incompleteness
– Senge: “[Quality] starts with turning the mirror inward”
– Lewin: “You cannot understand unless you change it”
• Finding the higher ground (for trust & openness)
– With faith, urgency, better relationships (and sleep!)
• Social Proofing: as the last step of marketing is
sales so, the last step of sales is marketing

149. 149
INTEGRITY
To be “true” to oneself, one
needs admirable goals,
a clear understanding of wherea clear understanding of where
one will and can stand,
a process of honest review,
and a day-to-day plan for how
to get things done and paid for.

150. 150
In business, these concepts
are formalized in

151. 151
Mission Statement
An unidentified soldier in WWIIAn unidentified soldier in WWII
that could not state his mission
was automatically shot.

152. 152
SWOT Analysis
Strengths, Weaknesses,
Opportunities, and Threats.

153. 153
Marketing Plan
That is updated quarterly.

154. 154
Implementation Plan
With good time and resource
performance metrics.

155. 155
Financial Plan
Including a
Working Capital Policy.

156. 156
These five concepts, however,
can carry a real punch
only when they are based on a
strong and legitimate

157. 157
Vision
“Great minds have purposes,
others have wishes.”others have wishes.”
Washington Irving
“Where there is no vision,
the people perish.” Proverbs 24:18

158. 158
Sounds Good, But How to Start?
• Looking inward for business planning starts by
work on Balanced Scorecards (BSC), SWOT
analysis, Critical Success Factors (CSF), and
shared Vision, Mission, and Values Statements
– 2/3 of firms utilize some sort of Balanced Scorecards– 2/3 of firms utilize some sort of Balanced Scorecards
• Glossary: “The measures appearing on the Scorecard should
link together in a series of cause and effect relationships.”
– SWOT: leverage strengths and market opportunities
and minimize weaknesses and competitive threats
– CRM of key relationship marketing success factors
• Vision states what the company intends to be
(basis of culture), mission states strategic goals
to fulfill vision, values define action boundaries

159. 159
Balanced Scorecards (BSC) 31
An organizational
tool to translate a
mission strategy into
objectives and
measures organized
by four perspectives:by four perspectives:
Customer (delivery,
cust. sat., retention),
Financial (cash flow,
ROI), Processes (no.
of projects, success
rate, defects), and
Growth (promotions,
illness, turnovers)
Customer, Financial, Business
Processes, Learning & Growth
From http://www.balancedscorecard.org/BSCResources/AbouttheBalancedScorecard/tabid/55/Default.aspx

160. 160
1.The economic model of
key levers driving
financial performance
2.The value proposition of
target customers
Based on an Understanding of the
Basic Building Blocks of Strategy 32
target customers
3.The value chain of core
business processes
4.The top critical enablers
of performance
improvement as well as
change and learning
From http://www.worldofhr.com/Balance%20Score%20Card.ppt

161. 161
BSC Follow-ons
• Applied Information Economics (AIE) based on
information value from decision theory and risk
analysis for a set of reasonable alternatives
– HowToMeasureAnything.com by Douglas Hubbard
33
– Generally, Excel spreadsheet analyzing to maximize
– BSC clarifies investment alignment with vision, builds
consensus, and prioritizes customers needs while
AIE quantifies costs, benefits, and risks of investment
• Cost Benefit Analysis (CBA) is an accounting
method to weigh total costs against benefits in $
(everything can be measured in terms of dollars)

162. 162
SWOT Analysis
Internal
• Strengths
• Weaknesses
External
What strategies
should be used to
optimize your
strengths and take
External
• Opportunities
• Threats
strengths and take
advantage of your
(as well as your
competitor’s)
weaknesses?
Required to be a strategy or purpose driven

163. 163
Strengths (S) Weaknesses (W)
Opportunities (O)
INTERNAL
FACTORS
EXTERNAL
FACTORS
SO Strategies
Generate
strategies here that
use strengths to
take advantages of
WO Strategies
Generate
strategies here that
take advantage of
opportunities by
overcome
Threats (T)
take advantages of
opportunities
overcome
weaknesses
ST Strategies
Generate
strategies here that
use strengths to
avoid threats
WT Strategies
Generate
strategies here that
minimize
weaknesses and
avoid threats
From Electronic Commerce: A Managerial Perspective © Prentice Hall, 2000 34

164. 164
Critical Success Factors
Customers
Acquisition
Relationship
“What criteria
determine who will be
our most profitable
customers?”
“How can we
acquire this
customer in the
most efficient and
effective way?
Gartner’s Model of Customer Interaction
Customers
Extension
Customers
Retention
Customers
Selection
Relationship
Marketing
“How can we keep
this customer for as
long as possible?”
“How can we
increase the loyalty
and the profitability
of this customer?”
From Electronic Commerce: A Managerial Perspective © Prentice Hall, 2000 35