This document provides an overview of the first week's content in a marriage counseling program. It introduces the biblical foundation of marriage, discussing key passages from Genesis and Ephesians that establish marriage as a lifelong partnership between a husband and wife. The session defines the roles and expectations of spouses, emphasizing that husbands should lead with love and wives submit with respect, both submitting to Christ. Homework involves studying these scriptures and relationship assessments. The goal is to ground the marriage in biblical principles and foster understanding of roles and expectations.

1. Week 1: The BiblicalWeek 1: The Biblical
Foundation ofFoundation of
MarriageMarriage

2. The basics of MarriageThe basics of Marriage..
 This will be a BibleThis will be a Bible
Study thatStudy that
introduces theintroduces the
Biblical foundationBiblical foundation
and places theand places the
groundwork for thegroundwork for the
remainder of theremainder of the
sessions.sessions.

3. 1. Genesis 2:18-25.1. Genesis 2:18-25.
 God's intention wasGod's intention was
for Adam to have afor Adam to have a
helpmeet, andhelpmeet, and
GenesisGenesis 2:24-2:24-
25 provide the25 provide the
establishment ofestablishment of
the maritalthe marital
relationship forrelationship for
mankind.mankind.

4. There are four elements to God'sThere are four elements to God's
perfect order for marriage:perfect order for marriage:
• Separation.....both the partners leave theSeparation.....both the partners leave the
authority of their parents and become theirauthority of their parents and become their
own family unit. In marriage the loyalty toown family unit. In marriage the loyalty to
your parents should never be stronger than toyour parents should never be stronger than to
your spouse.your spouse.
• Bonding........by an act of your will, bonding isBonding........by an act of your will, bonding is
a mental commitment to have a faithful,a mental commitment to have a faithful,
permanent relationship with your spouse.permanent relationship with your spouse.
• Oneness.........physical oneness is theOneness.........physical oneness is the
consummation of sexual closeness, take timeconsummation of sexual closeness, take time
to enjoy one another.to enjoy one another.
• Intimacy.........seeks to be vulnerable andIntimacy.........seeks to be vulnerable and
transparent with each other, free to expresstransparent with each other, free to express
your thoughts and feelings.your thoughts and feelings.

5. 2. Ephesians 5:21-33.2. Ephesians 5:21-33.
 The baseline forThe baseline for
what the Christianwhat the Christian
marriage is: Christmarriage is: Christ
as the head, withas the head, with
the husband andthe husband and
wife submitting towife submitting to
each other ineach other in
respect and in love.respect and in love.

6. Love & RespectLove & Respect
 ““As I will show throughout thisAs I will show throughout this
book, the Love and Respectbook, the Love and Respect
Connection is the key to any problemConnection is the key to any problem
in marriage. How the need for lovein marriage. How the need for love
and the need for respect play off oneand the need for respect play off one
another in a marriage has everythinganother in a marriage has everything
to do with the kind of marriage youto do with the kind of marriage you
will have.”will have.”

7. Ephesians 5:33Ephesians 5:33
 ““Nevertheless, letNevertheless, let
each one of you ineach one of you in
particular so loveparticular so love
his own wife ashis own wife as
himself, and let thehimself, and let the
wife see that shewife see that she
respects herrespects her
husband.husband.””

8. There are three aspects to theThere are three aspects to the
marital relationship.marital relationship.
• Submission to Christ................ReadSubmission to Christ................Read
Colossians 1:15-20 to see who it is that we areColossians 1:15-20 to see who it is that we are
to submit to. What does this section say aboutto submit to. What does this section say about
Christ?Christ?
• Wives respect their husbands...Read EphesiansWives respect their husbands...Read Ephesians
5:22-24. What does it mean to5:22-24. What does it mean to letlet the wivesthe wives
bebe to their own husbands in everything?to their own husbands in everything?
• Husbands love their wives.......Read EphesiansHusbands love their wives.......Read Ephesians
5:25-29. What does it mean to love your wife5:25-29. What does it mean to love your wife
as Christ did the church?as Christ did the church?

9. 3. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.3. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.
 This is the sectionThis is the section
of scripture thatof scripture that
gives us what ourgives us what our
actual love shouldactual love should
look like to eachlook like to each
other.other.

10. QuestionsQuestions
 To what extent doTo what extent do
these qualitiesthese qualities
exist in yourexist in your
relationship?relationship?
 Which are lessWhich are less
evident?evident?
 What needs to beWhat needs to be
addressed in thisaddressed in this
relationship torelationship to
bring it in-line withbring it in-line with
scripture?scripture?

11. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
 Study the identifiedStudy the identified
Scriptures, ReadScriptures, Read
Eggerichs Part One:Eggerichs Part One:
The Crazy Cycle andThe Crazy Cycle and
Review Appendix A,Review Appendix A,
Then take TEST #2Then take TEST #2
and TEST #3 from theand TEST #3 from the
Test and MeasurementTest and Measurement
Section.Section.

12. Week 2: The ExpectationsWeek 2: The Expectations
of the Marital Relationshipof the Marital Relationship

13. Saving Your Marriage Before ItSaving Your Marriage Before It
StartsStarts
"Saying 'I do' brings with it a host of"Saying 'I do' brings with it a host of
conscious and unconsciousconscious and unconscious
expectations that aren't alwaysexpectations that aren't always
fulfilled."fulfilled."

14. Describe the Different types ofDescribe the Different types of
relationships:relationships:
– A-type has a strongA-type has a strong
couple identity but verycouple identity but very
little individual self-little individual self-
esteem.esteem.
(Over-dependent)(Over-dependent)
– H-type has little to noH-type has little to no
couple identity and littlecouple identity and little
emotional connection.emotional connection.
(Under-dependent)(Under-dependent)
– M-type have mutualM-type have mutual
influence and emotionalinfluence and emotional
support with high self-support with high self-
esteem andesteem and
commitment.commitment.
(Inter-dependent)(Inter-dependent)

15. The purpose of marriageThe purpose of marriage..
This will continue the study of theThis will continue the study of the
intentions of God with the maritalintentions of God with the marital
relationship.relationship.

16. It is a life-longIt is a life-long partnershippartnership................
 Read Amos 3:3 &Read Amos 3:3 &
Malachi 2:14-16.Malachi 2:14-16.
 God intends forGod intends for
you to be partnersyou to be partners
for life.for life.
 What does this sayWhat does this say
for divorce?for divorce?

17. It is meant forIt is meant for pleasurepleasure
Read ProverbsRead Proverbs
5:18.5:18.
What does it meanWhat does it mean
to rejoice?to rejoice?

18. It is meant forIt is meant for procreationprocreation
Read Genesis 1:28.Read Genesis 1:28.
What are yourWhat are your
intentions forintentions for
parenting?parenting?

19. It is meant forIt is meant for perfectingperfecting
Read RomansRead Romans
8:29.8:29.
God intended thatGod intended that
this relationshipthis relationship
would utilize bothwould utilize both
of your strengthsof your strengths
and weaknesses toand weaknesses to
bring you bothbring you both
closer to Christ.closer to Christ.
What does thisWhat does this
imply in yourimply in your
relationship?relationship?

20. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
Parrott QuestionParrott Question
One, Three, Four,One, Three, Four,
and Reflection - ppand Reflection - pp
15 -3015 -30

21. Week 3: The PersonalitiesWeek 3: The Personalities
of the Marital Relationshipof the Marital Relationship

22. The 10 Commandments of MarriageThe 10 Commandments of Marriage
 ““This marriage covenant can bestThis marriage covenant can best
be illustrated by an equilateralbe illustrated by an equilateral
triangle. God is at the apex, withtriangle. God is at the apex, with
the husband and wife at theirthe husband and wife at their
respective corners of the base. Therespective corners of the base. The
result of such a covenantresult of such a covenant
relationship is a fulfilling andrelationship is a fulfilling and
dynamic marriage.”dynamic marriage.”

23. The Head (Christ)The Head (Christ)
 1 Timothy 2:41 Timothy 2:4
““(Christ) who(Christ) who
desires all men todesires all men to
be saved and tobe saved and to
come to thecome to the
knowledge of theknowledge of the
truth.”truth.”

24. Identify the role that ChristIdentify the role that Christ
currently has in the lives of thecurrently has in the lives of the
couple.couple.
• What needs toWhat needs to
change?change?
• What can beWhat can be
sustained?sustained?

25. How do both of the partners intendHow do both of the partners intend
to support the growth in Christ into support the growth in Christ in
each other?each other?
• Intentional Practice – this is how we goIntentional Practice – this is how we go
through our daily activities yetthrough our daily activities yet
maintaining the focus of Romans 12:1-maintaining the focus of Romans 12:1-
2.2.
• Intentional Prayer – this is how we areIntentional Prayer – this is how we are
to go through our thoughts and ourto go through our thoughts and our
desires in accordance with 1desires in accordance with 1
Thessalonians 5:17.Thessalonians 5:17.

26. The HusbandThe Husband
 Ephesians 5:25-29Ephesians 5:25-29
speaks to the role thatspeaks to the role that
the husband have asthe husband have as
the head and as athe head and as a
leader. This must beleader. This must be
tempered with love,tempered with love,
and in the model ofand in the model of
Christ.Christ.
 What are someWhat are some
practical ways that apractical ways that a
husband can lead withhusband can lead with
love?love?

27. The WifeThe Wife
 Ephesians 5:22-24Ephesians 5:22-24
speaks to the role thatspeaks to the role that
the wife has in beingthe wife has in being
the helpmeet that Godthe helpmeet that God
intended.intended.
 This must beThis must be
tempered withtempered with
respect, also in therespect, also in the
model of how Christmodel of how Christ
was submissive towas submissive to
God's will.God's will.
 What are someWhat are some
practical ways that apractical ways that a
wife can be a helperwife can be a helper
with respect?with respect?

28. DiscussionDiscussion
 Have the coupleHave the couple
identify what some ofidentify what some of
their personaltheir personal
convictions that theyconvictions that they
have regardinghave regarding
various issues:various issues:
 tithing,tithing,
 children,children,
 sex,sex,
 careers,careers,
 politics, etc.politics, etc.
 Cross-reference withCross-reference with
Romans 14 and 1Romans 14 and 1
Corinthians 8-10.Corinthians 8-10.

29. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
 Read YoungRead Young
chapters 1-10,chapters 1-10,
Read ParrottRead Parrott
Question 7, TakeQuestion 7, Take
TEST #5TEST #5

30. Week 4:Week 4:
Communication andCommunication and
Conflict ManagementConflict Management

31. Hope FocusedHope Focused
Marriage CounselingMarriage Counseling
 ““Hope-focused counseling is based on aHope-focused counseling is based on a
good relationship that results in strongergood relationship that results in stronger
marriages.”marriages.”

32. There is a 3 partThere is a 3 part
strategy to achieve thisstrategy to achieve this
goal:goal:
Will-powerWill-power
Way-powerWay-power
Wait-powerWait-power

33. The target is to changeThe target is to change
nine areas:nine areas:
 central values,central values,
 core vision,core vision,
 confession &confession &
forgiveness,forgiveness,
 communication,communication,
 conflict resolution,conflict resolution,
 cognition,cognition,
 closeness,closeness,
 complicating problems,complicating problems,
 commitmentcommitment

34.  The counselor is toThe counselor is to
foster hope whilefoster hope while
identifying theidentifying the
negative effects of thenegative effects of the
loss of love, faith andloss of love, faith and
work.work.
 How do youHow do you
personally identifypersonally identify
with each targetwith each target
area?area?

35. 1 Thessalonians 1:31 Thessalonians 1:3
 ““We continually remember before ourWe continually remember before our
God and Father your work produced byGod and Father your work produced by
faith, your labor prompted by love, andfaith, your labor prompted by love, and
your endurance inspired by hope in ouryour endurance inspired by hope in our
Lord Jesus Christ.Lord Jesus Christ.””

36. Saving Your MarriageSaving Your Marriage
Before It StartsBefore It Starts
 ““Knowing how to fight fair is critical toKnowing how to fight fair is critical to
your survival as a happy couple.”your survival as a happy couple.”

37. Learn how to fight aLearn how to fight a
good fight:good fight:
 Don’t Run from Strife.Don’t Run from Strife. It’sIt’s
okay to disagree, just don’tokay to disagree, just don’t
shut down and isolate.shut down and isolate.
 Choose battles carefully.Choose battles carefully.
TakeTake the log out beforethe log out before
pointing out the speck…pointing out the speck…
 Define the issue clearly.Define the issue clearly.
Understand what you areUnderstand what you are
quarrelling about.quarrelling about.
 State your feelings directly.State your feelings directly.
Use the ‘X,Y,Z formula:Use the ‘X,Y,Z formula: “In“In
situation X, when you do Y, Isituation X, when you do Y, I
feel Z.”feel Z.”

38. Ephesians 4:26Ephesians 4:26
 ““BE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; doBE ANGRY, AND yet DO NOT SIN; do
not let the sun go down on your anger.not let the sun go down on your anger.””

39. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
 Read ParrottRead Parrott
Question Six, ReadQuestion Six, Read
WorthingtonWorthington

40. Week 5: FinancesWeek 5: Finances

41. Crown Financial MinistriesCrown Financial Ministries
• “Financial conflict is a top reason for
divorce, and often poor financial decisions
result in driving a wedge through even the
most stable couples.”

42. Proverbs 21:5Proverbs 21:5
• “The plans of the
diligent lead surely to
abundance, but
everyone who is
hasty comes only to
poverty.”

43. There are two aspects to gainingThere are two aspects to gaining
success from previous poorsuccess from previous poor
decisions:decisions:
• Communication.
• Planning.

44. Three keys to climbing out ofThree keys to climbing out of
financial stress is:financial stress is:
• Determine where
you are
financially.
• Have a fair plan.
• Talking about it
regularly and
calmly.

45. Financial PeaceFinancial Peace
UniversityUniversity
““You can get anywhere if youYou can get anywhere if you
simply go one step at a time.”simply go one step at a time.”

46. Ephesians 4:2Ephesians 4:2
• “With all humility and
gentleness, with
patience, showing
forbearance to one
another in love.”

47. There are Seven “Baby Steps” that get theThere are Seven “Baby Steps” that get the
process of wise financial decisions going:process of wise financial decisions going:
• $1,000 Emergency Fund
• Debt Snowball
• 3 – 6 months expenses in Savings
• Invest 15% of household income in Roth
IRA’s
• College Funding
• Pay off your home early
• Build wealth and give!

48. Proverbs 21:20Proverbs 21:20
• “In the house of the
wise are stores of
choice food and oil,
but a foolish man
devours all he has.”

49. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
• Take TEST #6 and
TEST#7

50. Week 6: Biblical PrinciplesWeek 6: Biblical Principles
of Sexual Intimacyof Sexual Intimacy

51. His Needs, Her NeedsHis Needs, Her Needs
• ““Often the failure of men and women toOften the failure of men and women to
meet each other's emotional needs is simply diemeet each other's emotional needs is simply die
to ignorance of each other's needs and not ato ignorance of each other's needs and not a
selfish unwillingness to be considerate. Byselfish unwillingness to be considerate. By
learning to understand your spouse as a totallylearning to understand your spouse as a totally
different person than you, you can begin todifferent person than you, you can begin to
become an expert in meeting all that person'sbecome an expert in meeting all that person's
emotional needs.”emotional needs.”

52. 1 Corinthians 7:3&51 Corinthians 7:3&5
• ““Let the husband render to his wife the affectionLet the husband render to his wife the affection
due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
Do not deprive one another except with consent forDo not deprive one another except with consent for
a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting anda time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and
prayer; and come together again so that Satan doesprayer; and come together again so that Satan does
not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

53. • In discussing the Biblical principles of sexualIn discussing the Biblical principles of sexual
intimacy, focus must be made on the fact thatintimacy, focus must be made on the fact that
there are two aspects of the sexual relationship:there are two aspects of the sexual relationship:
• exclusivityexclusivity
• purity.purity.

54. Exclusivity.Exclusivity.
– ““Delight in the wife ofDelight in the wife of
your youth.” Malachi 2your youth.” Malachi 2
brings this up once again.brings this up once again.
What does it imply toWhat does it imply to
delightdelight in your spouse?in your spouse?
– ““Do not let your heartDo not let your heart
turn aside to her ways.”turn aside to her ways.”
Proverbs 7 teaches aboutProverbs 7 teaches about
adultery. What does theadultery. What does the
imagery that is used implyimagery that is used imply
for how God feels aboutfor how God feels about
this act?this act?

55. Purity.Purity.
– ““We are called to holiness.” IWe are called to holiness.” I
Thessalonians 4:1-8 discussThessalonians 4:1-8 discuss
sexual immorality and holiness.sexual immorality and holiness.
How does the marital sexualHow does the marital sexual
union meet the criteria forunion meet the criteria for
holiness? How can the maritalholiness? How can the marital
union also be unclean?union also be unclean?
– ““Marriage is honorable amongMarriage is honorable among
all.” Hebrews 13:4 brings upall.” Hebrews 13:4 brings up
the word honorable. Whatthe word honorable. What
makes the marriage bedmakes the marriage bed
honorable? What defiles it?honorable? What defiles it?
– Discuss with the couple whereDiscuss with the couple where
they stand in relation to thesethey stand in relation to these
aspects? Pornography?aspects? Pornography?
Intercourse? Sexual Abuse?Intercourse? Sexual Abuse?

56. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
• Read Parrott QuestionRead Parrott Question
Two & Four, and ReadTwo & Four, and Read
Harley - Chapters 3 & 4,Harley - Chapters 3 & 4,
Read Eggerichs PartRead Eggerichs Part
Two. Take TEST #4Two. Take TEST #4
(NOTE: question 2(NOTE: question 2
should not be applicableshould not be applicable
at this point).at this point).

57. Week 7: ParentingWeek 7: Parenting

58. Focus on the FamilyFocus on the Family
►““Most remarried couples can beat the oddsMost remarried couples can beat the odds
of divorce and build a successful blendedof divorce and build a successful blended
family if they know how to overcome thefamily if they know how to overcome the
unique barriers to marital intimacy.”unique barriers to marital intimacy.”

59. Ephesians 2:19Ephesians 2:19
►““So now you Gentiles are no longerSo now you Gentiles are no longer
strangers and foreigners. You are citizensstrangers and foreigners. You are citizens
along with all of God's holy people. You arealong with all of God's holy people. You are
members of God's family.”members of God's family.”

60. Beware of the “blindsides” of aBeware of the “blindsides” of a
blended family:blended family:
►Assuming the first-Assuming the first-
marriage taughtmarriage taught
them everything theythem everything they
need to know.need to know.
►Assuming they knowAssuming they know
how to be ahow to be a
stepparent.stepparent.
►Assume thatAssume that
stepfamilies are juststepfamilies are just
like first-families.like first-families.

61. Develop the key “stepping-stones”Develop the key “stepping-stones”
for a successful blended family:for a successful blended family:
►ListeningListening
►PerseverancePerseverance
►CommitmentCommitment
►HumorHumor

62. Remarriage and BlendedRemarriage and Blended
FamiliesFamilies
► Today in America, approximately 33 percent of allToday in America, approximately 33 percent of all
weddings form blended families. Blended familiesweddings form blended families. Blended families
are very common, but being a smart blendedare very common, but being a smart blended
family is not. It is important that in the case of afamily is not. It is important that in the case of a
blended family union, that a specific time ofblended family union, that a specific time of
discussion revolve around the expectations,discussion revolve around the expectations,
misconceptions, and experiences from previousmisconceptions, and experiences from previous
relationships be addressed. Couples shouldrelationships be addressed. Couples should
identify how they can make commitment to theidentify how they can make commitment to the
‘stepping-stones’ can help avoid the ‘blind-sides’.‘stepping-stones’ can help avoid the ‘blind-sides’.

63. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
► Read Deal & OlsonRead Deal & Olson

64. Week 8: MilitaryWeek 8: Military
MarriagesMarriages

65. Defending the Military MarriageDefending the Military Marriage
““Military Couples often face unique andMilitary Couples often face unique and
stressful situations, due to frequent movesstressful situations, due to frequent moves
and separations caused by requiredand separations caused by required
training or deployment.”training or deployment.”

66. Psalm 127:1Psalm 127:1
 ““Unless the LordUnless the Lord
builds the house, theybuilds the house, they
labor in vain wholabor in vain who
build it.build it.””

67. Pre-plan for a deployment by takingPre-plan for a deployment by taking
time to do 3 things now:time to do 3 things now:
 Ensure your spouse has aEnsure your spouse has a
current ID and iscurrent ID and is
registered in DEERS.registered in DEERS.
 Go to JAG and fill outGo to JAG and fill out
current Will and Power ofcurrent Will and Power of
Attorney.Attorney.
 Begin a ‘pre-deploymentBegin a ‘pre-deployment
folder’ with copies offolder’ with copies of
important papers:important papers:
 Marriage CertificateMarriage Certificate
 Birth CertificatesBirth Certificates
 Promotion WarrantsPromotion Warrants
 Orders/Travel VouchersOrders/Travel Vouchers

68. When Duty CallsWhen Duty Calls
““Don't assume anything if you want yourDon't assume anything if you want your
relationship to be strong enough to getrelationship to be strong enough to get
through the hard times. Talk aboutthrough the hard times. Talk about
concerns or problems as they are broughtconcerns or problems as they are brought
up by both partners.”up by both partners.”

69. Psalm 31: 14-16Psalm 31: 14-16
 ““But I trust in you, O Lord;But I trust in you, O Lord;
I say 'You are my God.'I say 'You are my God.'
My times are in yourMy times are in your
hands; deliver me fromhands; deliver me from
my enemies and frommy enemies and from
those who pursue me.those who pursue me.
Let your face shine onLet your face shine on
your servant; save me inyour servant; save me in
your unfailing love.your unfailing love.””

70. Take time to figure out 3 differentTake time to figure out 3 different
ways to communicate:ways to communicate:
 Start a savings fund forStart a savings fund for
prepaid phone cardsprepaid phone cards
 Get your computer setGet your computer set
up with the ability toup with the ability to
Face Time or SkypeFace Time or Skype
 Purchase good oldPurchase good old
fashion paper andfashion paper and
envelopes and Foreverenvelopes and Forever
StampsStamps

71. Medals Above My HeartMedals Above My Heart
““Ah, the joy of acronyms! The militaryAh, the joy of acronyms! The military
certainly cornered the market on thiscertainly cornered the market on this
literary application. Being able to speakliterary application. Being able to speak
the language of some particular field givesthe language of some particular field gives
on a sense of belonging.”on a sense of belonging.”

72. Ephesians 2:19-22Ephesians 2:19-22
 ““You are no longerYou are no longer
foreigners or aliens,foreigners or aliens,
but members of God'sbut members of God's
household.household.””

73. Don’t wait to include your spouse inDon’t wait to include your spouse in
the military lifestyle!the military lifestyle!
 Visit your local post andVisit your local post and
become acquaintedbecome acquainted
with the social serviceswith the social services
offices and baseoffices and base
support services.support services.
 Spend time doingSpend time doing
military things andmilitary things and
using military jargon.using military jargon.
 Download a militaryDownload a military
leadership App or studyleadership App or study
guide and quiz eachguide and quiz each
other.other.

74. HOMEWORK:HOMEWORK:
 Wife read PaceWife read Pace
Sections 1 & 3,Sections 1 & 3,
Husband readHusband read
Vandesteeg SectionsVandesteeg Sections
1.1 & 2.5.1.1 & 2.5.