Jones_Church as Secure Base

CHURCH AS SECURE BASE: A STRATEGY FOR ADOPTING ADOLESCENTS
INTO INTENTIONAL INTERGENERATIONAL COMMUNITY
A MINISTRY FOCUS PAPER
SUBMITTED TO THE FACULTY OF THE
SCHOOL OF THEOLOGY
FULLER THEOLOGICAL SEMINARY
IN PARTIAL FULFILLMENT
OF THE REQUIREMENTS FOR THE DEGREE
DOCTOR OF MINISTRY
BY
J. J. JONES
APRIL 2015

ABSTRACT
Church as Secure Base: A Strategy for Adopting Adolescents into
Intentional Intergenerational Community
J. J. Jones
Doctor of Ministry
School of Theology, Fuller Theological Seminary
2015
The goal of this project was to create a strategy within the local church context to
adopt adolescents into an intentional intergenerational community by strengthening
families and equipping the generations in the local church to accomplish this task. It is
argued that when the church partners with the home, and all generations work together,
the local church has the opportunity to became a “secure base” safe enough to launch
adolescents into healthy adulthood and life in the family of God. The local context for the
strategy of this thesis and strategic model is Cypress Bible Church in Cypress, Texas.
Through an examination of adolescent development and attachment theory, this
project explores contextual considerations of adolescence as well as the nuances of
attachment theory, as it argues that the local church has the opportunity to be a secure
base for adolescents and adults. Furthermore, the project develops a theological
framework for a new paradigm of ministry to adolescents and families. Finally, a strategy
is developed to foster the opportunity for the local church and home to partner in working
toward intergenerational initiatives. This strategy will be initiated through the Faith Trails
model and its subsequent tools.
Ultimately, this project describes how the local church can develop and implement
a strategy for connecting the church and home and for fostering intergenerationality. It
also concludes that this strategy may not fully be realized in Cypress Bible Church due to
competing mental models of leadership and strategy. However, the strategies and models
within this project are adaptable for any church seeking to encourage and influence
families and the generations.
Content Reader: Chapman R. Clark, PhD
Words: 265

To Anna, Kelsey, and Ben for allowing our home to be a place of grace, fun, and the
pursuit of becoming more like Christ

iv
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I would like to thank Halls Westside Baptist Church, Brookside Baptist Church,
Briarwood Baptist Church, Central North Church, Cypress Bible Church, together with a
multitude of students in almost thirty years of youth ministry, for the amazing privilege
of walking alongside their spiritual journeys and speaking into their lives. It is a deep joy
to invest in and serve the next generation of Christ-followers and their families. Most
importantly, I offer special thanks to my wife, Anna, who encouraged me to dust off the
books and head down this path. Your influence is very evident in the Faith Trails model,
as it is a reflection of the desire we have had for years of how our family could grow in
Christ. And to my children, Kelsey and Ben, thank you for four years of patience while I
developed and completed this project. I am blessed to have such a loving family and am
humbled to have an influence in the lives of students.

v
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS iv
INTRODUCTION 1
PART ONE: CONTEXTUAL CONSIDERATIONS
Chapter 1. THE CONTEXT OF ADOLOESCENCE 13
Chapter 2. THE CONTEXT OF ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT 29
Chapter 3. THE CONTEXT OF CYPRESS BIBLE CHURCH 45
Chapter 4. ATTACHEMENT THEORY AND SECURE BASE 51
PART TWO: THEOLOGICAL CONSIDERATIONS
Chapter 5. LITERATURE REVIEW 66
Chapter 6. A THEOLOGY OF ADOPTION, COMMUNITY, AND THE
KINGDOM 79
Chapter 7. A THEOLOGY OF FAMILY AND INTERGENERATIONAL
MINISTRY 99
PART THREE: STRATEGIC CONSIDERATIONS AND IMPLEMENTATION
Chapter 8. CHURCH AND FAMILY WORKING TOGETHER 124
Chapter 9. FAITH TRAILS: A STRATEGY FOR STRENGTHENING
FAMILIES AND FOSTERING INTERGENERATIONAL MINISTRY 140
SUMMARY AND CONCLUSION 163
APPENDICES 172
BIBLIOGRAPHY 194

1
INTRODUCTION
The room held no sign that another boy lived in the house, too.
—J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
No other book series in history has captured the minds and hearts of early and
midadolescents like J. K. Rowling’s Harry Potter series. Rowling’s series chronicles the
adventures of an orphaned wizard who discovers his heritage at the age of eleven. While
living his entire life with a Muggle (non-magical aunt, uncle, and cousin), “Harry”
experiences nothing but frustration, neglect, and abandonment. Upon his eleventh
birthday, a surprise visitor in the form of the lovable giant “Hagrid” pays Harry a visit
and informs him of his acceptance to Hogwarts School of Wizardry. Rescued from a
miserable existence, Harry is whisked away for the next seven years (and books) to a new
community where he discovers his identity, powers, and purpose—to defeat the evil
“Lord Voldermort,” who killed his parents and left him an orphan.1
Culture has always had an affinity for and compassion toward orphans, both in
actuality and in fantasy, even to the point of romanticizing history and fiction. One of the
most notable examples in history was the Orphan Trains. Widely held as the beginning of
the modern-day foster care movement, the Orphan Trains moved and placed an estimated
200,000 orphaned, abandoned, and homeless children between 1854 and 1929.2
The
brainchild of Congregationalist preacher Charles Loring Brace and a part of the
1
Andrew Sims, “Harry Potter: History of the Books,” Hypable, http://www.hypable.com/harry-
potter/book-history/ (accessed April 6, 2015).
2
National Orphan Train Complex, “History,” http://orphantraindepot.org/history/ (accessed July 6,
2012).

2
organization he founded known as the Children’s Aid Society, Orphan Trains started as a
means for transporting the neglected children of New York City westward to find new
homes, families, and opportunities away from the streets of Manhattan. Though many
lives were changed for the better due to Brace’s heart and calling to live out God’s love
to the least of these, there is research cited that indicates only a small percentage of
orphans were formally adopted and that most were sought after for the benefit of added
labor.3
Hence, one might ascertain that the Orphan Train movement has been more of a
romanticized legend in history.4
Likewise, the romanticized orphan hero is not a new phenomenon in written word
and moving pictures. Harry lost his parents as a baby; Batman’s parents were murdered
when he was a boy; Superman’s parents died when their home planet was destroyed;
Buddy the Elf’s parents left him at an orphanage, where he lived until he stowed away one
Christmas Eve on Santa’s sleigh. Nearly every Disney protagonist is an orphan of some
sort. Hollywood knows the affinity young people have for orphan heroes and how they
resonate with an adolescent’s own search for identity, autonomy, and place to belong.
Indeed, the reason Harry resonates so much with this generation is because he is
an orphan. In addition, he was theoretically invisible to his non-magical family. In his
book, The Orphaned Generation, Scott Wilcher asserts that the reason so many young
people identify with Harry and other “orphan heroes” of movie and print is because the
3
Rebecca S. Trammell, Orphan Train Myths and Legal Reality, American University: Washington
College of Law, http://www.wcl.american.edu/modernamerican/documents/Trammell.pdf (accessed April
29, 2013).
4
Ibid.

3
cry of the orphan is the cry of their own heart.5
Chap Clark echoes this sentiment in his
groundbreaking research and subsequent book, Hurt, in which he states that this
generation of young adults feel abandoned by the adult world.6
Therefore, to some degree,
they are similarly orphaned.
It is no surprise that the Harry Potter series has sold almost 500 million copies
worldwide since its first printing in 1997, thus establishing it as the bestselling book
series of all time.7
As an orphan settling into new surroundings, Harry is told that the
school, especially his house, Gryffindor, “will be something like your family at
Hogwarts.”8
Not long afterwards, Harry realizes “the castle felt more like home than
Privet Drive ever did.”9
Through his seven years at Hogwarts, Harry discovers a
meaningful community and sense of family, a purpose and destiny for his life that is
worth living for, and a true home with committed adults. He discovers what many
developmental experts would call a “secure base.”10
John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth are instrumental to the discipline of attachment
theory. Attachment theory states the more secure a child is to a parent, usually the mother,
the more positive and successful the separation-individuation process of that child will
5
Scott Wilcher, The Orphaned Generation: The Father’s Heart for Connecting Youth and Young
Adults to Your Church (Chesapeake, VA: The Upstream Project, 2010), 86-88.
6
See Chap Clark, Hurt: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker
Academic, 2004).
7
Sims, “Harry Potter-History of the Books.”
8
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (New York: Scholastic, 1997), 114.
9
Ibid., 170.
10
Further details regarding “secure base” will presented in Chapter 4.

4
be.11
If attachment is secure and positive, the child will be more prone to explore the
environments around him, thus providing a secure base from which to explore and return.
Bowlby puts it this way:
The provision by both parents of a secure base from which a child or an adolescent
can make sorties into the outside world and to which he can return knowing for
sure that he will be welcomed when he gets there, nourished physically and
emotionally, comforted in distress, reassured if frightened. In essence, this role is
one of being available, ready to respond when called upon to encourage and
perhaps assist, but to intervene actively only when clearly necessary.12
Essentially, Bowlby states that adolescents need a secure base to operate from as much as
a developing infant.
Noted family ministry professor Diana R. Garland continues this line of thinking
and develops it further when she writes: “Of course, it is not only children who need such
a base. Adolescents and adults, too, need a place that feels secure, a place where they feel
welcomed and where they belong.”13
She posits that such a secure base allows people to
engage more fully in work and play with much greater single-mindedness, creativity, and
courage.14
Just as Bowlby defines attachment as “any form of behaviour that results in a
person attaining or maintaining proximity to some other clearly identified individual who
is clearly perceived as being able to cope with the world,”15
Garland carries the idea
11
For an example of their life work, see Mary Ainsworth and John Bowlby, “An Ethological
Approach to Personality Development,” American Psychologist 46, no. 4 (April 1991): 331-343.
12
John Bowlby, A Secure Base: Parent-Child Attachment and Healthy Human Development (New
York: Basic Books, 1988), 11.
13
Diana R. Garland, Family Ministry: A Comprehensive Guide, 2nd
ed. (Downers Grove, IL:
InterVarsity Press Academic, 2012), 59.
14
Ibid.
15
Bowlby, A Secure Base, 26-27.

5
further by stating that as “we become adults, it may be that the other is not necessarily
able to cope better, but that together we can cope with the world better than one can cope
alone,” and we can thus “define a person’s family by determining who the population of
that person’s ‘secure base’ is.”16
In this sense, it is possible to deduce that, in much the
way Hogwarts became a secure base for Harry, the local Body of Christ likewise can—
and should—become a secure base from which adolescents can venture out in safety and
return as they are adopted into the intentional community of the local church. Church, as a
secure base, then can act as a family of “wise guides” who connect the adopted to a new
identity, community, power, and purpose.17
In a culture where an abandoned generation
seems to be abandoning and shelving their faith, the Church has an opportunity to be a
part of what Kara Powell and Clark call a “sticky network” of adults who, in partnering
with parents, care about and invest in the lives of young people.18
The problem, then, is that many who grow up in the Church at some point seem to
shelve or lock away their faith. In one of their most recent books, Dave Kinnaman and
Gabe Lyons assert that “most young people who were involved in church as a teenager,
disengage in church life and often Christianity at some point in early adulthood.”19
In
examining research data that ranged from epidemic proportions to minor delineation, the
Fuller Youth Institute has concluded that somewhere between 40 to 50 percent of
16
Garland, Family Ministry, 59.
17
Wilcher, The Orphaned Generation, 102.
18
Kara Powell and Chap Clark, Sticky Faith: Everyday Ideas to Build Lasting Faith in Your Kids
(Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2011), 105.
19
Dave Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons, UnChristian: What a New Generation Really Thinks about
Christianity . . . and Why It Matters (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2007), 23.

6
students who graduate from a church or youth group will fail to stick with their faith in
college.20
Some scholars propose that this is a time of moratorium, when college students
shelve certain identities and try others. Tim Clydesdale calls this the “identity lockbox” in
which students stow religious as well as political, racial, gender, and civic identities.21
Nonetheless, and no matter to what degree, the research agrees that far too many kids are
experimenting with little or no faith formation after high school.
This should be unacceptable to the Body of Christ in the context of the local
church, which is called to nurture, lead, and disciple the children of families entrusted to
its care. The church is responsible as the people of God and, therefore, culpable for the
failure to do so. The mandate to lead the young spiritually is not a new one to the people
of God. In Deuteronomy 6:4-9, the Hebrew shema defines a context and pattern for the
people of God to make disciples in everyday life:
Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all
your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commands that I
give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk
about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie
down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on
your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.22
While this is a command for the primary caregivers to guide and lead in a child’s faith
development, it is also a command for a more encompassing family unit to own this
responsibility. In the Hebrew world, the family was not just the parents and children,
20
Powell and Clark, Sticky Faith, 15.
21
Tim Clydesdale, Abandoned, Pursued, or Safely Stowed? Social Science Research Council,
February 6, 2007, http://religion.ssrc.org/reforum/Clydesdale.pdf (accessed September, 24, 2012).
22
All Scripture comes from The Holy Bible: New International Version (Nashville: Holman Bible
Publishers, 1986), unless otherwise noted.

7
much like we think of today through twenty-first-century lenses. Ancient Hebrew
families included households, clans, and tribes. Everyone was responsible for the nurture
of children, in every way. Discipleship and spiritual formation were not an individual
experience; they were a corporate and holistic way of life. In the same manner, members
of the local church have the opportunity to corporately act as guides and mentors in the
spiritual lives of young people. Even in the New Testament there are commands to
continue to build a lasting legacy in this way. Paul encourages more mature men and
women to teach, guide, and live a godly lifestyle to younger believers (Ti 2:1-10). This is
an example of the body living out the shema.
Unfortunately, most churches have abdicated their role as guides in spiritual
formation to the young and thus have created spiritual orphans and neglected families as
well an individualistic model of ministry. The result is that families are left on their own to
navigate the spiritual formation of their children, and ministries become silos; generations
rarely interact in order to worship, learn, or do life together. Garland laments the results of
this reality when she writes that what makes this so problematic is that “families are
deprived of relationships with others of different ages and life experiences, and the image
of an inclusive community of all kinds of people, the people of God, is lost.”23
In
summary, society, including the Church, has created a generation of young people who
have been abandoned and orphaned relationally, emotionally, and spiritually through
systemic, cultural, familial, and religious transitions over the last several decades.
Everything must change, and defining the local church as a form of secure base in the
23
Garland, Family Ministry, 66.

8
lives of adolescents just may be a catalyst that can begin to change the tide of systemic
abandonment of the young.
I have had the privilege of working with youth and their families for over twenty-
five years and grew up in the toddler age of youth ministry in the 1970s. I have seen it
grow into its own adolescence and emerging adulthood through the 1980s, 1990s, and the
new millennium and have followed various models, methods, programs, and their varied
proponents. Within this time, the maturation and legitimization of professional youth
ministry as well as the movement toward academia within the discipline itself began to
emerge. I have been, at times, part of the solution and part of the problem. Mark Senter
proposes the good and bad news in youth work as we know it. The good news is that youth
ministry in the twentieth century has shaped the Protestant Church of the twenty-first
century, but the bad news is just the same: youth ministry in the twentieth century has
shaped the Protestant Church in the twenty-first century.24
Therapeutic faith, narcissistic
individualism, consumer orientation, shallow doctrine, and fear of risk have come to
characterize the discipline to which so many who work with adolescents have been called
and entrusted. For this reason, Senter calls for creativity and new initiatives and asks, “Who
will improvise, and what will the resulting forms of youth ministry look like?”25
Within this paper, I hope to provide one answer to Senter’s question. Over the
years of ministry experience, and within the scope of my doctoral studies, I have come to
the conviction that the future of effective youth ministry must include the family and the
24
Mark Senter, When God Shows Up: A History of Protestant Youth Ministry in America (Grand
Rapids, MI: Baker Academic, 2010), 308-309.
25
Ibid., 309.

9
local, holistic Body of Christ. Not just in partnership, but in concert. If the end goal of
any ministry, especially youth ministry, is the adoption of that population into the local
Body of Christ, then it is my contention that the local church can and should act as a
secure base from which adolescents can experience an intentional, intergenerational
community safe enough to prepare them to launch into healthy adulthood. Therefore, the
purpose of this project is to create a strategy within my local church context to adopt
adolescents into that intentional, intergenerational community by strengthening families
and equipping all generations to work in concert toward this end. A template is designed
to regularly evaluate effective movement toward this end.
Part One of this project explores the contextual considerations undergirding the
developmental and cultural milieus of adolescence and the local congregation of Cypress
Bible Church. The contextual elements, history, and nuances of adolescents and their
culture are explored. I seek to make a case for attachment theory moving beyond the
infancy stage into the stages of adolescence and adulthood, thus to establish a clear need
for a secure base in these latter stages. I also explore the specific cultural, historical,
theological, and socioeconomic factors of Cypress Bible Church in an attempt to
establish a picture of the current ministry.
Part Two of this project explores the theological considerations and implications
for developing an effective new paradigm of evaluating ministry to adolescents and their
families. I strive to develop a robust understanding of the theologies of adoption,
community, and the Kingdom. I also work to develop a holistic understanding of

10
intergenerational ministry and its theological base in Scripture as well as a theology of
family ministry within the local church.
Part Three moves toward faithful action based on the theological and contextual
research. A strategy is developed for a holistic intergenerational ownership of ministries
affecting youth and their families, which acknowledges the conversations, changes, and
possible challenges within the local church context. A tool also will be developed for
evaluation of current and future initiatives by which Cypress Bible Church can begin to
move toward a holistic, adopting ministry to adolescents that is owned by all generations
within the congregation.
In writing about this current generation as well as his own, John Sowers writes:
We are a rejected generation, left behind to pick up the fragile pieces of our broken
existence. Confused, we grope in the dark for meaning, purpose, and hope. . . . We
grasp for anything that feels like acceptance but are afraid to open our hearts and
embrace it for ourselves. We are a generation displaced. A refugee generation,
shuffling from one shelter to the next in search of belonging. We are a generation
that desperately wants to be found, a generation that desperately wants to be home.26
If indeed Harry and his orphan cohorts are indicative of this generation of spiritual
orphans, then it must take a network of caring, committed adults to come alongside them
as they move into adulthood in the local faith community. It will take more than just a
mom and dad, the youth pastor, and a network of positive and faithful peers. It will take
everyone. However, that network of relationships will not happen for young people until
the adults in a church can begin to think differently and, in time, behave differently
26
John Sowers, Fatherless Generation: Redeeming the Story (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan,
2010), 22-23.

11
toward young people. This will require the minds of those who lead the young to be
renewed to reflect more closely the mind of Jesus.27
27
Wilcher, The Orphaned Generation, 25.

PART ONE
CONTEXTUAL CONSIDERATIONS

13
CHAPTER 1
THE CONTEXT OF ADOLESCENCE
Miley Cyrus unwittingly has become the new poster child for adolescence. The
twenty-year-old former child star of Hannah Montana1
fame made a very loud and bold
statement in breaking from the former mold at the MTV Video Music Awards, when she
“twerked” onstage live with artist Robin Thicke to his song, Blurred Lines, after
performing her hit, We Can’t Stop.2
The next week, her new music video, Wrecking Ball,
debuted online in which Cyrus straddles a wrecking ball nude while singing “I came in
like a wrecking ball.”3
Indeed, she did. Many former fans shake their heads and wonder
what happened to the levelheaded, fun yet seemingly innocent Cyrus who fit more of the
Montana character mold. She has become the epitome of a delayed, maybe missed,
adolescent passage. Perhaps her own words, from an interview for Harper’s Bazaar,
clarify: (After the show wrapped up) “I took off and I wanted to party. I worked so hard,
1
Hannah Montana, Disney Channel, 2006-2011.
2
Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke, “MTV Video Music Awards Performance 2013,” Youtube,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFLv9Ns1EuQ (accessed April 8, 2015).
3
Miley Cyrus, “Wrecking Ball,” Bangerz, RCA, 2013, Youtube, https://www.youtube.com/watch
?v=My2FRPA3Gf8 (accessed April 8, 2015).

14
and I wanted to buy a house and just chill. . . . I was acting like an adult when I was
supposed to be a kid. So now I’m an adult and I’m acting like a kid.”4
The failure of twenty-somethings to launch into adulthood is a fairly recent
phenomenon. With high performance-based expectations and a lack of key adults
investing in their lives, today’s children and teens may be seen as more of a commodity
than a treasure to be nurtured and developed. At best, adolescence has lengthened and, at
worst, delayed—as may be observed in the case of Cyrus. In this chapter, the context is
set for adolescence as it is known today by addressing the defining, historical, and
psychosocial markers of adolescence.
Definition of Adolescence
John W. Santrock, in a widely accepted definition of adolescence, states that it is
“the period of transition between childhood and adulthood that involves biological,
cognitive, socioemotional changes. A key task of adolescence is preparation for
adulthood. It ranges from the development of sexual functions to abstract thinking to
independence.”5
Hence, “adolescence begins in biology but ends in culture.”6
In other
words, adolescence begins at the onslaught of puberty but ends according to cultural
expectations and norms. Santrock adds that this phase of exploration and newfound
freedom is nothing new with young adults such as Cyrus, citing that even saints such as
4
Derek Blasberg, “Miley Goes Bang,” Harper’s Bazaar, http://www.harpersbazaar.com/
magazine/cover/miley-cyrus-interview-1013 (accessed September 16, 2013).
5
John W. Santrock, Adolescence, 13th
ed. (New York: McGraw-Hill, 2010), 16-17.
6
Ibid., 19.

15
Augustine rebelled during a period of reckless, narcissistic early years.7
Many have
attributed similar compunctious comments on adolescence over the years to Greek
philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle and French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau.
Citing these and others, some people say that adolescents are as they always have been—
free, unencumbered, wild, passionate, and disrespectful of those who have come before
them.8
Jeffery Jensen Arnett defines adolescence as the “period of the life course
between the time puberty begins and the time adult status is approached, when young
people are preparing to take on roles and responsibility of adulthood in their culture.”9
He
echoes Santrock’s sentiments when he states that adolescence is a cultural construction,
not simply a biological phenomenon,”10
citing the fact that “almost all cultures have some
kind of adolescence, but the length and content and daily experiences of adolescence vary
greatly among cultures.”11
Indeed, a child growing up in a tribal environment in New
Guinea will have much different cultural markers and rituals into adulthood than a child
growing up in suburban Houston, Texas.
7
Ibid., 3.
8
Chap Clark, “The Changing Face of Adolescence: A Theological View of Human Development,”
in Starting Right: Thinking Theologically About Youth Ministry, eds. Kenda Creasy Dean, Chap Clark, and
Dave Rahn (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2001), 41.
9
Jeffery Jensen Arnett, Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood: A Cultural Approach, 4th
ed.
(Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 2010), 2.
10
Ibid.
11
Ibid.

16
Clark defines adolescence as “individuation,” or the process of becoming a unique
individual in order to prepare to insert oneself into adult society.12
Accordingly, the
trajectory of individuation then is interdependency in the adult community as adolescents
discover and live into who they are, what they value, and where they belong. While
acknowledging that adolescence is neither a blend of child and adult nor an extension of
either phase, Clark states that it is a “unique phase of life that must be understood and
dealt with on its own merits.”13
History of Adolescence
Although barely over one hundred years old, the term “adolescence” comes from
the Latin root adolescere, which means “to grow up.”14
Though the idea of adolescence is
relatively new, this age period always has existed, albeit referring negatively to young
adults in most references. For example, in his autobiographical work, Confessions, St.
Augustine described his late teens and early twenties as a reckless, impulsive, and pleasure-
seeking life.15
According to Clark, Rousseau used the Latin root first to describe the young
French aristocrats in the eighteenth century for being wild and crazy.16
G. Stanley Hall was
the first to use to term in his two-volume set Adolescence in 1904. He also conceptualized
12
Chap Clark, “YF721: Strategic Issues in Youth and Family Ministry” (lecture, Fuller
Theological Seminary, Pasadena, CA, February 2011).
13
Chap Clark, Hurt 2.0: Inside the World of Today’s Teenagers (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker
Academic, 2011), 9.
14
Collins English Dictionary, 2003 ed., s.v. “adolescence.”
15
St. Augustine, “The Confessions of St. Augustine,” ed. Temple Scott, trans. E. P. Pusey
(New York: E. P. Dutton & Co., 1900), 60; Arnett, Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood, 3.
16
Clark, “Strategic Issues in Youth and Family Ministry.”

17
the “storm and stress” view in which adolescence is seen as a turbulent time with conflict
and mood swings. In his view, adolescents’ thoughts, feelings, and actions oscillate
between conceit and humility, good intentions and temptation, happiness and sadness.17
Overall, the way adolescence is thought of and studied has changed.
Society’s response to and investment in adolescents, especially midadolescents,
has changed over the last century as well. Today there are voices warning of coincidental,
dangerous, and systemic abandonment of children that have serious implications. Until
the middle of the last century, communities and communal groups owned a significant
role in shaping and investing in children and adolescents. Adults took responsibility for
the welfare and direction of children in the social, educational, and religious realms.
Throughout time and in every society, the dominant culture has seen the young as its
most sacred treasure. Children were viewed as a precious and nurtured resource and as
such were guided into their place in the world by those responsible to care for them in
their family and community. This described view is called “social capital,” or the
involvement of adults in the lives of children with no agenda other than to help them
assimilate into their role as an adult and contribute in society.18
During what is now
considered the adolescent years, youth worked, worshipped, and lived alongside adults.
A shift began somewhere in the twentieth century. Adolescence began
lengthening, and institutions that once held a high value of nurture for youth started to
move away from investing in the welfare and future of children to perpetuating what was
17
G. Stanley Hall, Adolescence: Its Psychology and Its Relations to Physiology, Anthropology,
Sociology, Sex, Crime, Religion and Education (New York: D. Appleton and Company, 1904) xiii-xix; see
also Santrock, Adolescence, 5-6.
18
Clark, Hurt 2.0, 7.

18
best for the institution. Children began to be viewed as a commodity instead of an
investment. In an article for The Journal of Youth Ministry, David F. White supports this
very idea:

Before the middle of the nineteenth century many youth engaged in serious work,
held significant social roles, and contributed to the social equilibrium. . . . But by
the mid-twentieth century, adolescents were relegated to the roles of education or
“preparation” for adult work and future social significance—leaving them open to
exploitation by marketers and their current roles of consuming fashion and
entertainment commodities. In one generation that came of age between the
1930s and 1940s, young people moved from helping provide for their families to
draining the income in these purchases.19
Ultimately, the evolving changes of the twentieth century directly affected how social
systems, structures, organizations, and institutions nurture the young; and they indirectly
influenced the developmental processes relating to the psyche and inner security of
adolescents. Consequently, as a result of massive social upheaval and shifts in the middle
of the twentieth century, adolescents now were considered their own subculture with a
specialized cultural niche embraced by adults.20
The adult community that adolescents
desperately need and desire to nurture them and provide a safe place to grow from
“biological adulthood” into “societal adulthood” has left them abandoned and hurt.
Historically, the Church and families have followed society and culture in
response to the new adolescent subculture. Before the twentieth century, the Church
served as a community that nurtured and invested in children and young people as they
grew into adulthood. With the social shift of the 1960s and 1970s, modern youth ministry
and youth ministry programming was born. Today there are specialized programming for
19
David F. White, “Empowering the Vocation of Youth as Youth: A Theological Vision for
Youth Ministry,” Journal of Youth Ministry 2, no. 2 (Spring 2004): 15.
20
Clark, Hurt 2.0, 13.

19
all ages and irreparable harm can be done to the spiritual community in providing these.
Youth ministry movements began which emphasized the professional, paid adult as
spiritual leader, taking the emphasis for spiritual direction and formation away from the
home. Youth ministries in local churches began adapting many of the strategies
developed by parachurch workers. Most of these workers were very relational, so the
youth ministry professional who conveys Christian truth from one generation to the next
was born.21

Families suffered as well, and the shift is most prevalent in the move from the
modern to postmodern family. In an almost prophetic fashion, David Elkind addressed
this shift in 1994:
Many of today’s parents—offspring of the modern nuclear family but also products
of the social upheavals of the 1960s and 70s and the economic pressures of the
1980s and 90s—no longer regard themselves as solely responsible for meeting the
emotional needs of their offspring. Many of them do not think of children and
youth as requiring a full helping of security protection, firm limits, and clear
values, and many of those who still believe in the goodness of those things no
longer have faith in their ability as parents to provide them in today’s complex
world. As a consequence, postmodern young people are often left without the
social envelope of security and protection that shielded earlier generations.22
For centuries, family systems and culture have been responsible to help adolescents move
into independence and adulthood. Over time with the Industrial Revolution and rise of the
middle class, there has been an erosion of social capital. Children were seen as an asset
but became a liability as industry had to compete. By the twentieth century, roots of
modern-day adolescence were evident. Even as late as the 1930s to 1960s, modern
21
Senter, When God Shows Up, 75.
22
David Elkind, Ties That Stress: The New Family Imbalance (Cambridge, MA: Harvard
University Press, 1994), 8.

20
America still cared about its young and offered them helping systems. In the turbulent
1960s and 1970s, parents and institutions began to have less social capital to give to youth,
and the effects of systemic abandonment started to surface.23
When social capital was lost,
the community that adolescents so needed and desired was lost as well. Consequently,
adolescents have been left on their own to find and experience community elsewhere.
Timing of Adolescence
Adolescence is a psychosocial event, which most researchers agree begins
between ages eleven and twelve, around the time of menses, the marker of female
puberty. The developmental aspect of adolescence is described as psychosocial in nature,
because the timing of and entrance into adolescence are marked by a physiological
(having to do with the functioning of the body) event (puberty), but it is generally
described and discussed as a sociological (having to do with relationships and human
interaction) event.24
In other words, adolescence begins at the onset of puberty but ends
according to cultural expectations or norms.
It is now universally accepted among researchers that over the last century the
timing, as well as the process and length, of adolescence has changed and lengthened. In
cultures worldwide before the 1900s, there were only two stages of life: childhood and
adulthood. Most researchers agree that before or around 1900, the average age of females
when menses began was around fourteen or fifteen years old. With the historical and
cultural shifts of the twentieth century, such as compulsory education, a definitive youth
23
24
Clark, “The Changing Face of Adolescence,” 46.

21
subculture, and contextual changes such as systemic abandonment, the average age of the
start of female puberty has continued to decrease. Likewise, the time necessary to
individuate into full adult status has lengthened.25
Table 1 shows the physiological
beginning and cultural ending of the age of adolescence over the last century.
Table 1. Age of Adolescence
Years Average age of female
puberty
Age entering into
adulthood
Pre-1900 14+ 16
1980 13 18
2007 12 mid-20’s
Source: Chap Clark, “The Changing Face of Adolescence: A Theological View of Human Development,”
in Starting Right: Thinking Theologically about Youth Ministry, eds. Kenda Creasy Dean, Chap Clark and
Dave Rahn (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2001), 52, and Chap Clark and Dee Clark, Disconnected:
Parenting Teens in a MySpace World (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Publishing, 2007), 63.
As seen in Table 1, the beginning of adolescence is certain, while the ending is more
ambiguous. What used to be a two-year process now can take up to fifteen years. While
in the past experts have settled on two stages of adolescence, early (roughly middle or
junior high school) and late (high school and beyond), today there are three stages: early,
from age eleven to thirteen or fourteen; mid, between fifteen and twenty years; and late,
from age twenty into early thirties. This is simply because the adolescent process,
including developmental processes, has lengthened.26
The Tightrope of Adolescence
With systemic abandonment comes a lengthening of the duration of adolescence,
and with that lengthening comes a similar extended period of dependence for the
25
Chap Clark and Dee Clark, Disconnected: Parenting Teens in a MySpace World (Grand Rapids,
MI: Baker Publishing, 2007), 61-63.
26
Ibid., 64-65.

22
adolescent. Therefore, moving from dependence to independence to interdependence
becomes increasingly more difficult. Clark coined the phrase “tightrope of adolescence”
when articulating the fact that adolescent individuation is a solitary and isolated experience.
The tightrope is best represented as traversing between two poles, representing childhood
and adulthood.27
These poles are symbols of two more anchored times in the adolescent’s life.
Between the poles stretches the tightrope along the stages of early, mid, and late adolescence.
As the adolescent moves across the tightrope and works through the individuation process of
identity, autonomy, and belonging, the role of stability in the parental pole diminishes, as the
adolescent must traverse the tightrope alone. Once adolescents have navigated these three
questions successfully, they cross the tightrope and transition into adulthood.28
Figure 1. Tightrope of Adolescence
27
28
Ibid.

23
As figure 1 indicates, in this process the child moves from dependency on the family
system toward interdependency in the adult community. As children move into adolescence,
they go across the tightrope where they learn how to be independent and discover who they
are as a unique person.29
As early adolescence approaches, along with the beginning of puberty, the journey
on the tightrope begins. As the early adolescent is moving from dependence into the
journey toward independence in the mid-teens, the family still plays an important role. Just
as in childhood, the family remains the foundation of loyalty and support. Early adolescents
are just beginning to ask questions pertaining to identity, and their identity is still found in
the context of the family system.30
Whereas the first individuation and separation occurs in
the first three years of life, a second individuation occurs during this time of movement into
gaining independence and toward the shifts that define midadolescence.
By far the longest and most crucial journey along the tightrope is that of
midadolescence. The marker of the onset of this stage is the cognitive change from
concrete to abstract thinking and usually occurs around the ages of fourteen or fifteen. The
defining marker of midadolescence is egocentric abstraction. Drawing from Jean Piaget’s
theory and stages,31
David Wu defines this marker focusing on the “egocentric” in stating
29
Clark and D. Clark, Disconnected, 102.
30
Clark, “The Changing Face of Adolescence,” 56-57.
31
Jean Piaget, The Child and Reality: Problems of Genetic Psychology (New York: Penguin,
1977), 54-61.

24
that it means to be ego-centered and self-focused.32
Therefore, this period of adolescence
is known as a time of various changes, including one of “intense personal
preoccupation.”33
Clark and Dee Clark describe egocentric abstraction as follows:
While they have the capacity for abstract thinking and relationships, they feel so
alone and vulnerable that they are forced into an egocentric abstraction that is the
defining characteristic of midadolescence. Midadolescents are neither concrete in
their thinking and reflection nor able to objectively process the multiple factors
that have to be taken into account as we learn to accept and evaluate others, warts
and all. The late adolescent ability to abstractly deal with the world is not a fully
developed skill for the midadolescent. They have the ability to think and reflect
on others, but they do not yet have the ability to rise above the immediacy of their
experience. To be blunt, a midadolescent is at least somewhat aware that their life
impacts others even as others impact them, but they don’t have the resources or
energy to care.34
Closely associated with egocentric abstraction are two characteristics known as
the “personal fable” and the “imaginary audience.” Elkind defines the imaginary
audience as the assumption that others are watching the midadolescent and are as
concerned with their behavior and appearance as they are themselves.35
In other words,
midadolescents believe they are always the focus of attention. Likewise, Elkind defines
the personal fable as a feeling of specialness and invulnerability in which teens have the
impression that their experience is unique and special.36
These two characteristics align
32
David Wu, “Adolescent Egocentrism: A Primary Review and the Implications for Spiritual
Development,” Christian Education Journal 9, no. 3 (Spring 1989): 41.
33
Ibid., 46.
34
Clark and D. Clark, Disconnected, 137-138.
35
David Elkind, All Grown Up and No Place to Go: Teenagers in Crisis, rev. ed. (Cambridge,
MA: Da Capo Press, 1998), 40.
36
Ibid., 44.

25
with egocentric abstraction and may manifest themselves in such statements or attitudes
as “that will never happen to me” or “everyone is looking at me.”
Midadolescence is the most crucial stage on the tightrope. As young people seek
independence, they leave the maternal support of the early years of adolescence and lean
more directly on the paternal role and the father’s support. His role is critical in helping
the child move with safety and security from early adolescence into adulthood. This
serves as a reminder of the absolutely essential role of parents in the healthy development
of a teenager.37
As the child moves from mid to late adolescence, the struggle can be to hold on to
adolescent tendencies while working to move into adult interdependence. With the
influencers of adolescence perpetuating its lengthening over the last few years, each stage
on the tightrope has lengthened as well. This late adolescent stage also is known now as
“emerging adulthood.”38
Emerging adulthood is marked by the fact that many emerging
adults neither consider themselves adolescents nor believe themselves to be full adults.
Additionally, inconsistency is a marker of late adolescence as the late adolescent is
picking and choosing attitudes and behaviors that will align with personal individuation
and the adult self. A late adolescent is potentially ready to enter adulthood but still will
need to be taught, led, and encouraged to make the final leap into an adult role as a
capable, responsible, and interdependent person in the community.39
37
Duffy Robbins, This Way to Youth Ministry: An Introduction to the Adventure (Grand Rapids,
MI: Zondervan, 2004), 234-235.
38
Arnett, Adolescence and Emerging Adulthood, 8.
39

26
The developmental and environmental factors that influence individuation and the
journey across the tightrope of adolescence are as numerous as they are varied. The
beginning of adolescence is fixed and certain, more so than the end, which is much more
muddled and ambiguous as it depends on subjective cultural markers for entrance into
adulthood. It can vary from person to person. Although some experts may claim
otherwise, there is no societal or even intuitive moment when someone has arrived on the
threshold of adulthood. There are no classes, rites, or rituals that definitively certify an
adolescent is indeed fully individuated. Individuation is a fluid, complex, and even
internal process.40
Abandonment
Perhaps no other phenomenon has shaped adolescence more than abandonment.
At its core, systemic abandonment is the cumulative outcome of multiple forces that
collide, resulting in the erosion of key unconditional adult relationships, beneficial
systems, and structures in the lives of today’s adolescents and young adults. Clark coined
the term in describing the current crisis of key adults such as parents, teachers, and others
who have ceased as a community to help fulfill the basic needs and longings of
adolescents.41
Historically, before the onset of adolescence, most societies considered
their young a precious asset and integral part of the community, gifts of God to be
nurtured and assimilated. However, in recent history, children increasingly have been
called upon to learn how to become adults without the support they need to accomplish
40
Ibid., 51.
41

27
the task.42
With the lack of social capital, or key adults investing selflessly into their lives,
adolescents retreat into an underground world not experienced by adults, one that Clark
calls the “world beneath.”43
Other notable professionals have written on the subject as well. Lest one believes
this is just the marginal and vulnerable of teenage society that is relegated to this
underground environment, Madeline Levine argues that privileged adolescents will
experience this abandonment more than most. She asserts that affluent kids are less likely
to feel close to their parents than children in poverty—less likely than any group of teens
for that matter.44
This is a direct result of the high pressure to perform and achieve,
materialism and income availability, and continual disconnection from their parents, who
have their own issues of perfectionism and narcissism. The result, according to
researchers, is that privileged kids experience the highest rates of depression, disorders,
substance abuse, and unhappiness of any group of children in this country.45
In A Tribe
Apart, Patricia Hersch notes: “The adolescents of the nineties are more isolated and more
unsupervised than other generations.”46
Elkind asserts that one of the key contributing factors to abandonment is the fact
that parents are so consumed and hurried with their own agendas and lives that they
42
Ibid., 49.
43
44
Madeline Levine, The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are
Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids (New York: HarperCollins Publishers, 2008), 30.
45
Ibid., 17.
46
Patricia Hersch, A Tribe Apart: a Journey into the Heart of America’s Adolescence (New York:
Random House, 1998), 19.

28
“hurry” their children to grow up prematurely. In his book, All Grown Up and No Place
to Go, he writes:
There is no place for teenagers in American society today—not in our homes, not
in our school, and not in society at large . . . barely a decade ago . . . society
recognized . . . that young people needed time, support, and guidance in this
endeavor . . . some parents are so involved in reordering their own lives managing
a career, marriage, parenting, and leisure, that they have no time to give their
teenagers; other parents simply cannot train a teenager for an adulthood they
themselves have yet to attain fully.47
In a later edition of the same book, Elkind laments that as a result “young people are now
required to confront life and its challenges with the maturity once only expected of the
fully grown, but without any time for preparation and with little adult guidance.”48
Consequently, many adolescents face a system that pushes them to take on adult
prerogatives, but they still are denied those prerogatives until a certain age requirement is
met. Accordingly, many adolescents feel betrayed by a society that tells them to grow up
fast but also remain to a child.49
Since the external forces of abandonment from
institutions and systems and internal forces of abandonment from the family and
relationships are both great, the necessity remains for healthy and unconditional adult
relationships that will put the needs of adolescents above their own in order to help the
young individuate into healthy, interdependent adults.
47
Elkind, All Grown Up and No Place to Go: Teenagers in Crisis (Reading, MA: Addison-
Wesley Publishing, 1984), 3-4.
48
Elkind, All Grown Up and No Place to Go, rev. ed., 7.
49
David Elkind, The Hurried Child: Growing Up Too Fast Too Soon, 25th
anniversary ed.
(Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press, 2001), 12.

29
CHAPTER 2
THE CONTEXT OF ADOLESCENT DEVELOPMENT
When one studies adolescent psychosocial development, the natural place to
begin is within the cognitive realm. Unquestionably, the most influential theory of
cognitive development from infancy through adolescence is the one developed by Swiss
psychologist Piaget.1
Piaget introduced four stages of mental development: sensorimotor
(age zero to two), preoperational (age two to seven), concrete operational (age seven to
eleven), and formal operational (age eleven to adulthood). According to Santrock, “each
stage is age related, and consists of a different way of thinking, a different way of
understanding the world. Cognition is qualitatively different in one stage compared with
another.”2
Therefore, a late adolescent would be in the formal operational stage, which
begins between eleven and fifteen years of age and continues into adulthood. This
1
For a comprehensive treatment of his theory, see Jean Piaget and Barbel Inhelder, The
Psychology of the Child (New York: Basic Books, 2000); see also Arnett, Adolescence and Emerging
Adulthood, 60.
2
Santrock, Adolescence, 29.

30
particular stage is characterized by individuals moving beyond concrete experiences to
thinking in more abstract and logical terms.3
Erik Erikson, a third generation Freudian, takes this epigenetic approach much further
and offers eight stages: “hope, will, purpose, competence, fidelity, love, care, and wisdom.”4
Each stage consists of a unique developmental task that confronts individuals with a crisis
that must be faced. Erikson expanded his theory much further than Sigmund Freud, stating
that people develop in psychosocial stages rather than psychosexual ones and that
developmental change occurs throughout the lifetime rather than just in the first five years.5
It is in Erikson’s fifth and sixth stages in which late adolescence and emerging adulthood
happen, with the key developmental issue being identity versus identity confusion.6

James Marcia has spent a great deal of time on work that springs directly from
Erikson’s theory. He has formulated four identity statuses that are now accepted widely
and referenced within adolescent research: “identity achievement, moratorium,
foreclosure, and identity diffusion.”7
During early adolescence, most youth are in the
identity statuses of diffusion, foreclosure, and moratorium.8
It follows, then, that identity
achievement would come during the periods of late adolescence or early adulthood when
3
Ibid., 30.
4
Amy E. Jacober, The Adolescent Journey: an Interdisciplinary Approach to Practical Youth
Ministry (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2011), 55.
5
6
7
James Marcia, “The Empirical Study of Ego Identity,” in Identity and Development: An
Interdisciplinary Approach, eds. Harke Bosma et al. (Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage Publishers, 1994), 70-71;
see also Jacober, The Adolescent Journey, 56.
8

31
individuals have made definitive personal, occupational, ideological, spiritual, and moral
choices.
James Fowler borrowed from Lawrence Kohlberg as he married faith
development and practical theology.9
In Fowler’s “Synthetic-Conventional” stage,
usually arising sometime during adolescence, faith is characterized by conformity. It is
not until the next stage, “Individuative-Reflective,” that an individual begins to take
personal responsibility for their beliefs and feelings.10
In other words, this is the period
where adolescents begin to own their faith. As cognition moves from concrete to more
abstract thinking, the adolescent begins the process of becoming a unique individual—a
process otherwise known as individuation.
Individuation
As an adolescent begins to form the identity that determines how the adult self is
expressed, multiple factors such as parents, values and beliefs, and friends are all critical
in forming this self-identity. In this way, adolescence is about individuation in that it is
about developing the primary identity that will define the soon-to-be adult. Many
theorists have varied definitions of these processes, which aid in one’s understanding of
this phenomenon. Malan Nel states that individuation has to do with identity formation.11
9
See James Fowler, Stages of Faith: The Psychology of Human Development and the Quest for
Meaning (San Francisco, CA: Harper and Row, 1981). Fowler borrowed from Lawrence Kohlberg, The
Philosophy of Moral Development: Moral Stages and the Idea of Justice (San Francisco, CA: Harper and
Row, 1981) and The Psychology of Moral Development: The Nature and Validity of Moral Stages (San
Francisco, CA: Harper and Row, 1984).
10
11
Malan Nel, “Identity and the Challenge of Individuation in Youth Ministry,” Journal of Youth
Ministry 1, no. 2 (Spring 2003): 84.

32
Using Erikson and Richard Robert Osmer, Nel draws from both sociological and
theological voices. According to Erikson, identity formation is a construction of a “sense
of sameness, a unity of personality now felt by the individual and recognized by others as
having consistence in time.”12
In the same way, Osmer states “adolescence is that stage in
the life cycle during which young people construct, for the first time, a sense of self that
binds together their past, present, and future into a coherent whole.”13
In this sense,
identity is the “negotiation of self-definition and social definition.”14
Carl Jung seemed to have an early understanding of this concept when referring
to those around age thirty as “becoming one’s own person,” “coming to self,” or “self-
realization.”15
Clark and D. Clark define individuation as the overall task of moving out
of childhood and preparing to engage in mainstream society as a peer with other adults,
or becoming a unique individual.16
Levine roughly defines individuation as forming a
“healthy sense of self,” which means developing a self that is authentic, capable, loving,
creative, in control of itself, and moral.17
According to Amy E. Jacober, individuation is
the individual seeking not only how to become one’s own self but one’s own best self.18
12
Erik Erikson, ed., “Youth: Fidelity and Diversity,” in The Challenge of Youth (Garden City, NY:
Doubleday, 1965), 13.
13
Richard Robert Osmer, Confirmation: Presbyterian Practices in Ecumenical Perspective
(Louisville: Geneva Press, 1996), 20.
14
Ibid., 21.
15
Carl Jung, The Portable Jung, ed. Joseph Campbell (New York: Penguin Books, 1971), 121.
16
17
Levine, The Price of Privilege, 66.
18
Jacober, The Adolescent Journey, 54.

33
Finally, James E. Loder summarizes all of the above well and defines individuation as
“becoming one’s own person.”19
One must have a robust understanding of what healthy
individuation looks like, since a healthy individuation process is of vital importance;
some research has shown that healthy individuation can be regarded as a precondition of
a lifelong satisfying and healthy relationship with one’s parents.20
One can assume that
this is true for relationships within the adult community as well, since the adolescent
moves into interdependence within the community.
Individuation is the process of becoming a unique individual, inserting oneself
into society, and learning to live interdependently in community. Individuation also
includes the development of the self through the lens of one’s surrounding world that
shapes the adult self. As the correlation between adolescence and individuation becomes
evident and a young person begins the transition into an interdependent adult role, three
key tasks, or markers, of the adolescent journey surface. These markers are known as
identity, autonomy, and belonging.
Identity
While there is debate over the precise definition and process related to the term
“identity,” it fundamentally means asking questions such as “Who am I?” and “Who am I
going to be?” As adolescents sift through the various social, cultural, and familial
influences around them, those influences help shape who they will be for the rest of their
19
James Loder, The Logic of The Spirit: Human Development in Theological Perspective (San
Francisco, CA: Jossey-Bass, 1998), 286.
20
Heike M. Buhl, “Significance of Individuation in Adult Child-Parent Relationships,” Journal of
Family Issues 29, no. 2 (February 2008): 277.

34
life. Identity is discovering not only who they have chosen to be but also who they are
created to be.
As adolescents experiment with multiple identities and navigate through the
process of individuation, parents and youth workers must remember to reiterate that one’s
core identity ultimately must be found in Christ. Henri J. M. Nouwen, in his classic book
titled In the Name of Jesus, recounts his struggle with identity and purpose as he moved
from the classrooms of Harvard to working with mentally challenged men and women at
L’Arche. Using stories from his experience and two key Gospel passages, the temptation
of Jesus (Mt 4:1-11) and Peter’s call to be a shepherd (Jn 21:15-19), he alludes that
identity is the core issue for everyone; it is only found when one finds oneself in Christ.21
Notwithstanding, the Church then must have a voice in helping to mold the
identity of the youth it is called and charged to care for as well as partner with parents of
adolescents in order to move them into a healthy identity and relationship with Jesus.
Scripture is replete with the evidence that humankind is a uniquely created, deeply loved
creation of the Heavenly Father and that nothing can take this relationship away (Ps
139:7-16, 23-24; Rom 8:1-2, 15-17). In Disconnected, Clark and his wife summarize this
well, “So the quest for our identity . . . is located in our ability to get a complete picture
of God’s handiwork as he created it. Therefore the task as we help our kids answer the
question ‘Who am I?’ is to get all of the lies and half-truths and misconceptions out of the
way so they are able to see as clearly as they can who God declares them to be.”22
21
Henri J. M. Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership (New York:
Crossroad Books, 1989).
22

35
Autonomy
The second marker of adolescent individuation and identity formation is
autonomy. Autonomy has been defined as being responsible and making wise choices,
but it is much more than just responsibility. It is an internal sense of power and the
capacity and power to make and own right choices as one’s own. Therefore, autonomy is
best described as the ability to make a difference, to choose a life path, and to operate as
an agent in the service of society. The key word at the heart of autonomy, then, is
“power.”23
Levine says autonomy means “that we are independent, capable, and loving
and that we are free to choose how we use these qualities.”24
For Levine, autonomy is
closely related to self-efficacy, the belief that one successfully impacts one’s world,
resulting in one’s ability to act appropriately in one’s behalf and interest, or agency. Self-
efficacy refers to beliefs, agency refers to actions, but they both refer to a sense of
personal control.25
Arnett defines autonomy as the process of learning to be independent
and self-sufficient.26
This supports what others contend—that adolescents’ ability to be responsible
and form their own beliefs and values are the true marks of movement into adulthood.27
Some call this ability the “locus of control,” referring to the source of people’s ability to
23
Clark, “Strategic Issues in Youth and Family Ministry” and “YF722: Theology of Youth and
Family Ministry” (lecture, Fuller Theological Seminary, Pasadena, CA, February 2011).
24
Levine, The Price of Privilege, 71.
25
Ibid.
26
27
Jeffery Jensen Arnett, “Young People’s Conceptions of the Transition to Adulthood,” Youth and
Society 29, no. 3 (September 1997): 15.

36
make decisions as they move through life. As a child, the adolescent’s locus of control
may be external, dependent on the parents to aid in making right and responsible
decisions. As children move into adolescence toward individuating into their own unique
adult self, that locus usually moves toward a more internal sense of power and purpose
and responsibility for themselves.28
With this developmental reality in mind, the Church must help parents consider
their role and equip them while minimizing the forces of other institutions and adult
organizations that can squelch this very development by their adult-driven agendas. The
Church can lead the way in helping adolescents explore who they are and what gifts they
bring to society.29
In the same way, the local church can help adolescents explore their
place in the faith community and what gifts they bring to that community.
Belonging
To belong is to recognize that humans have been created to live in community and
that they cannot live alone. However, the American cultural landscape tells its citizens
that they are fine on their own, they do not need anyone, and that their identity is formed
in their “rugged individualism” as a country and as a person. Nevertheless, a healthy
identity and sense of autonomy without belonging would be an isolated, lonely journey.
One cannot move through life without others, because the human person is incomplete
without community. Humankind was created for intimate, meaningful relationship both
with God and one another.
28
29

37
This ideal of community is of utmost importance in the process of individuation; and
the Church, who is charged with the spiritual care of the young, must understand its
importance. Individuation is a process of moving, in community, toward adulthood while
realizing that this movement is part of the larger, lifelong process of differentiation.30
This is
not just differentiation in relationship with one’s parents but with one’s faith as well.
Adolescents must be given every opportunity to own their faith on an intimate level.
Only in the context of biblical community can Christ-followers successfully help
the young navigate the murky waters of adolescence and individuation. The adage “it
takes a village” to raise the young never has been more true. In local churches today, not
only are many left to navigate the developmental process alone, they must navigate the
spiritual process alone as well. Churches may do well at feeding information, knowledge,
and programming to adolescents, but they have fallen far short of providing a context of
community in which growth and healthy spiritual development can take place. As a result,
the Church inadvertently has contributed to the system of abandonment toward the young
and has created generations of spiritual orphans with no influential adults to guide them
toward becoming full disciples and followers of Christ. Therefore, the young are left no
choice but to psychologically and spiritually go through this process called adolescence
alone as they move from maternal and fraternal dependence toward community and
biblical interdependence.
30
Jacober, The Adolescent Journey, 61.

38
Adolescent Spiritual Development
Alister E. McGrath defines basic spirituality as the quest for a fulfilled and
authentic religious life, bringing together the ideas distinctive of that religion and the
whole experience of living within the scope of that religion.31
He further delineates
Christian spirituality within the same parameters but with the distinctive fundamental
scope of living within the Christian faith.32
According to John R. Tyson, Christian
spirituality describes the “relationship, union, and conformity with God that a Christian
experiences through his or her reception of the grace of God, and a corresponding
willingness to turn from sin, and to walk according to the Spirit.”33
Dallas Willard defines
spirituality as living into life the way it was meant to be, with one’s relation to God at the
center.34
For Willard, spirituality is a Kingdom ideal which is lived in constant
companionship with Christ and is realized in the exercise of the spiritual disciplines in the
Christian’s life.35
All things considered, it is clear that Christian spirituality involves a
God who is knowable and has initiated a relationship with his creation, and that
relationship is the ground for one’s true identity realized in Christ. In this way, as
children of God, believers’ spiritual lives are grounded in God’s redemptive calling and
their subsequent response to that calling as they align with a Kingdom trajectory.
31
Alister E. McGrath, Christian Spirituality: An Introduction (Malden, MA: Blackwell Publishing,
1999), 2.
32
Ibid.
33
John R. Tyson, Invitation to Christian Spirituality: An Ecumenical Anthology (New York:
Oxford University Press, 1999), 1.
34
Dallas Willard, The Spirit of the Disciplines: Understanding How God Changes Lives (New
York: HarperCollins Publishers, 1988), 77.
35
Ibid., 26.

39
However, the term “spirituality” is more ambiguous when it comes to the actual
faith constructs of today’s adolescents. While it is easy to blame the current climate and
ills on the systemic abandonment most adolescents experience, the Church certainly has
some culpability as well. The National Study of Youth and Religion’s (NSYR)
groundbreaking study reports that when it comes to their religious belief in God, most
American teens reflect a great deal of variance on the matter and more than a little
conceptual confusion.36
This “Christianity confusion” stems from a direct reflection of
their parents’ faith; therefore, the indictment stands against the Christian community.
Kenda Creasy Dean sums it up well when she states that the gist of adolescent belief is
that they are basically fine with religious faith; but it does not concern them very much,
and it is not durable enough to survive long after they graduate from high school.37
She
goes on to agree with Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton in that teens’ faith
must be read as a reflection of their parents’ religious devotion (or lack thereof) and, by
extension, that of their congregations.38
It is not a question, then, of whether teens
disregard religion. In fact, research today confirms that teens continue to place a high
importance on religion.39
Rather, it is more of a question of what defines their religion
and from whom they are getting that definition.
36
Christian Smith and Melinda Lundquist Denton, Soul Searching: The Religious and Spiritual
Lives of American Teenagers (New York: Oxford University Press, 2005), 42.
37
Kenda Creasy Dean, Almost Christian: What the Faith of Our Teenagers Is Telling the
American Church (New York: Oxford University Press, 2010), 3.
38
Ibid., 3-4.
39
Michele F. Junkin, “Identity Development in the Context of the Faith Community,” Christian
Education Journal 6, no. 2 (Fall 2002): 34.

40
The NSYR reveals a theological fault line running underneath American
churches: an adherence to a do-good, feel-good spirituality that has little to do with the
triune God of Christian tradition and even less to do with loving Jesus Christ enough to
follow him into the world.40
Smith and Denton have coined this belief “Moral
Therapeutic Deism” (MTD). MTD is moral in that it precludes an upright approach to
living life and being good. It is therapeutic in that it is more about feeling good about
oneself and being happy, secure, and at peace. It is deistic in that it defines a god who
exists, created the world and moral order . . . but does not get much involved after that,
unless a personal problem arises.41
The result of such a faith construct is that many adolescents, according to some
researchers, may fail to stick with their faith. While there are varied results from much
research, the Fuller Youth Institute reports that 40 to 50 percent of young people who
graduate from a church or youth group will not continue with their faith in college; 20
percent of college students who leave the faith planned to do so while they were still in
high school, while 80 percent did not; and between 30 to 60 percent of youth group
graduates who abandon their faith and the church do return to both in their late twenties.42
Some scholars do not see this so much an abandonment of faith but rather a time of
moratorium when college students shelve some identities and try on others. This means that
young adults later will open the box where they have stowed their identities and retrieve
their untouched faith, as they make their way back into the religious life and world with
40
Dean, Almost Christian, 4.
41
Smith and Denton, Soul Searching, 162-165.
42
Powell and Clark, Sticky Faith, 15-16.

41
which they are most familiar.43
Moreover, adherence to MTD and the subsequent belief
values may result in the adolescent adopting what Willard calls a “gospel of sin
management.”44
In this, the Christian message is reduced to behavior modification—what
one does and does not do—as if this is primarily what God is concerned with in the lives of
his followers. The real heart of the Christian message, and life, is lost.
Adolescent Social Development
While the internal and cognitive functions are fundamental to understanding an
individual’s development, the external factors likewise must be considered. Research of
the contextual and social components is growing, in part thanks to the developmental
voices of Lev Vygotsky and Urie Brofenbrenner. Vygotsky and Social Development
Theory argue that social interaction precedes development and that consciousness and
cognition are the result of socialization and social behavior.45
Knowledge is gained and
development occurs through interaction with others in cooperative environments and
social contexts.46
Therefore, according to Vygotsky, individual differences in development
43
Clydesdale, “Abandoned, Pursued, or Safely Stowed?”
44
Dallas Willard, The Divine Conspiracy: Rediscovering Our Hidden Life in God (New York:
HarperCollins Publishers, 1998), 41.
45
Learning-Theories.com, “Social Development Theory (Vygotsky),” http://www.learning-
theories.com/vygotsky’s-social-learning-theory.html (accessed August 29, 2012).
46

42
can be explained by the individual differences in the social context in which a person
learns to master the tasks and experiences that the culture defines as meaningful.47
Likewise, Brofenbrenner brings a fresh focus on development within the
environment. For Brofenbrenner, the interaction between the developing person and the
environment is the vehicle for development to succeed. He sees the ecological
environment as nested, interconnected systems, much like the Russian nest dolls popular
with children and collectors. Therefore, Brofenbrenner’s emphasis is not on the
traditional psychological processes of perception, motivation, thinking, and learning but
on the content that is perceived by the individual. Development is the person’s evolving
conception of the ecological environment.48
Therefore, the ecological environment is
conceived topologically as a nested arrangement of concentric structures, each contained
within the next. These structures are known as the “microsystem, mesosystem, exosystem,
and macrosystem.”49
Sociologist James Cote argues that many of the social maladies of American
society handed to the young have formed a generation more jaded than earlier ones.
Citing the work of leading human development experts, he claims that many of these
trends are now very difficult to reverse as they have permeated families, schools, and
communities. Due to the society that has been handed to them, many young Americans
47
Cynthia Jones Neal, “The Power of Vygotsky,” in Nurture That Is Christian: Developmental
Perspectives on Christian Education, eds. James C. Wilhoit and John M. Dettoni (Grand Rapids, MI: Baker
Books, 1998), 125.
48
Urie Broffenbrenner, The Ecology of Human Development: Experiments by Nature and Design
(Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press, 1979), 3-9.
49
Ibid., 22-26.

43
now enter the transition into adulthood lacking a basic sense of trust in others. He
concludes this lack of trust directly relates in response to the “environment provided for
them by adults ostensibly in charge of that environment.”50
In response to the system they have inherited, young people have suppressed
maturity and identity development. In this new world, individualism, independence, and
narcissism have replaced the interdependence and connectedness found within the safe
house of community. Even many adults react to this shift by striving to prolong their own
youth, going as far as to alter their own behaviors, dress, and appearance, and refusing to
grow up. Thus, he refers to current society as, what Robert Bly calls, a “sibling
society”—a society where adults regress toward adolescence; and adolescents, seeing that,
have no desire to become adults.51
The context of adolescence is fluid, complicated, and multifaceted; yet it must be
understood, if the community of Christ is to effectively create a strategy of adopting their
young into intentional community and involve all generations in doing so. As adopted
sons and daughters of God (Eph 1:5), all Christ-followers are adopted into the community
of the local church and the Body of Christ. Through the context of community, spiritual
formation and discipleship move believers toward a healthy identity in Christ and
alignment with a Kingdom trajectory. In Judges 2:10, a generation rises up with a
forgotten identity: “After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers,
another generation grew up, who knew neither the Lord nor what he had done for Israel.”
50
James Cote, Arrested Adulthood: The Changing Nature of Maturity and Identity, (New York:
New York University Press, 2000), 62-68. Cote draws from Robert Bly, The Sibling Society (New York:
Vintage, 1997).
51
Cote, Arrested Adulthood, 98.

44
Many argue that the young generation today is so abandoned that they have been raised
with a large spiritual deficiency. Still others argue for a path forward that champions and
supports the young in a communal context and moves them toward sound theological
identity and growth. However, before these and other arguments are considered, there
must be an understanding of the local context in which these issues arise. For the
purposes of this discussion, that context is the local body of Cypress Bible Church.

45
CHAPTER 3
THE CONTEXT OF CYPRESS BIBLE CHURCH
In the same way one must know the nuances, issues, and challenges of the
population one serves—in this particular case, adolescents—one also must understand the
context of the culture and area in which that population lives. Recently, Cypress Bible
Church in Texas commissioned “learning teams” composed of staff and elders to discern
trends and gather data pertaining to the surrounding culture and the congregation. This
included, but was not exclusive to, population, ethnicity, and socioeconomic factors of
the Cypress zip code and its surrounding area. The data was indeed helpful in gaining a
picture of the Cypress-Fairbanks area and the local church as well as the possible trends,
changes, and realities it might face in the future.
A Portrait of Cypress, Texas
Cypress, Texas is a large suburban area twenty-five miles northwest of downtown
Houston, along the US 290 corridor. Growth began skyrocketing during the 1980s and
1990s with large residential and commercial developments. The greater area is known as
“the Cy-Fair area,” after the Cypress and Fairbanks Independent School Districts

46
consolidated in the 1930s.1
The district is now the third largest in the state of Texas (behind
Houston and Dallas) and continues to grow each year, with over 110,000 students in 2013.2
According to a 2011 demographic study, over 875,000 people live within a ten-mile radius
of Cypress Bible Church, and this figure does not include the entire Cy-Fair area. It is
becoming ethnically diverse, with 58.8 percent White, 34.8 percent Hispanic, and a small
but growing percentage of other races. It is a middle/upper-middle class area, with an
average household income of almost $80,000.3
The area surrounding the 77429 zip code is
one of the most affluent in Harris county with over 75 percent of the population having an
income over $50,000 and over 40 percent earning over $100,000.4
The Cypress suburban
area ranks “50th
” in the top “100” “highest-income urban areas” in the country.5
According to another collection of research from the Percept Group, the area is
becoming increasingly non-Anglo with much diversity while keeping its upper-class
socioeconomic status. Whites and non-Anglos alike for the most part are highly educated
and well compensated in Cypress. Family structures are very strong and somewhat
traditional, having two parents. Anglos make up the majority of the population with
1
Mauri Lynn Smith, “Cypress, TX (Harris County),” in Handbook of Texas Online, Texas State
Historical Association, http://www.tshaonline.org/handbook/outline/articles/hlc66 (accessed September 03,
2013).
2
Cypress-Fairbanks Independent School District. State of the District 2012-2013,
http://www.cfisd.net/files/2813/9412/0818/state2012.pdf (accessed September 3, 2013), 2-3.
3
Scan/US, Scan/US 2011 Estimates, http://www.scanus.com/rpt/SCCY-L01 (accessed October 1,
2012).
4
Sperling’s Best Places, “Economy in Cypress (zip 77429), Texas,” http://www.bestplaces.net/
economy/zip-code/texas/cypress/77429 (accessed September 3, 2013).
5
Wikipedia, “Cypress, Texas,” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cypress,_Texas (accessed September
3, 2013). This is a ranking that Wikipedia tallied as a primary source.

47
Hispanics not far behind. Population diversity and density are expected to increase in the
next four years, with an estimated population of over 207,000 within a four-mile radius of
the church. Interestingly, the second highest population behind Survivors, ages thirty-one
to fifty-one, is Millennials, ages eleven to thirty.6
In light of all this information, it is safe,
albeit simplistic, to say that Cypress has a lot of people, who make a lot of money, are
well educated, and are younger and quite diverse. Cypress is a typical suburban
phenomenon in that its population would feel very privileged and entitled to the things
that make life enjoyable. After all, these are the spoils of rugged, American, get-what-
you-can-while-you-can hard work and individualism. It may neither be right nor wrong,
good nor bad, but it simply is what it is.
A Portrait of Cypress Bible Church
The population of Cypress Bible Church (CBC) reflects the population of Cypress
for the most part. Residents are mostly affluent, increasingly ethnically diverse, and
primarily composed of traditional family models. CBC has a strong history and tradition
of forty years of ministry.
Cypress Bible Church was established in 1973 through the joint efforts of Spring
Branch Community Church and Spring Bible Church. The first service was held at
Lamkin Elementary School, which is down the road from the current location. In 1975,
the church secured its permanent and present site on Cypress-North Houston Road.7
In
6
Percept Group, Ministry Area Profile for Cypress Bible Church (Irvine, CA: Percept Group,
2012), 4.
7
Cypress Bible Church, Cypress Bible Church: 10th
Anniversary Celebration (Cypress, TX:
Cypress Bible Church, 1983).

48
1978, the ministry of the church was expanded with the formation of a Christian school
for the Cypress area, Cypress Community Christian School.8
Rapid growth of the small
church the following years necessitated the addition of a Christian Education building
(currently known as the Kid’s Life Building) and a multi-use Family Center (currently
known as the Student Life Complex). This allowed for the expansion of Sunday School
and educational ministries, a popular Women’s Ministry, and the creation of new
ministries such as Noah’s Ark preschool, Mothers Of Preschoolers (MOP), and Adult
Bible Fellowships.
The Family Center also provided a facility for greater worship attendance and
worship celebrations and productions for seasonal events, such as Easter and Christmas.9
Perhaps Cypress Bible Church’s greatest momentum can be traced back to the decade of
the early 2000s. In 2001, the church opened the doors to its Worship Life Center which
houses its early childhood wing, 1,200-seat worship center, and various classrooms and
meeting facilities. Attendance reached a height upwards of 1,500. CBC successfully
launched two church plants, Harvest Bible Church and Magnolia Bible Church. The Life
Stage ministries grew in attendance and momentum with solid children and student
ministries and an intentional emphases on family ministry. Many local outreach
partnerships were established, including ministry to Care Net Pregnancy Center of
Northwest Houston, Cypress Assistance Ministries, and Street Church in the Montrose
area of Houston. An intentional relationship also was established with Lamkin
8
Cypress Bible Church, History of Cypress Bible Church (Cypress, TX; Cypress Bible Church,
n.d.).
9
Cypress Bible Church, A History of Cypress Bible Church 1973-2008 (Cypress, TX; Cypress
Bible Church, 2008).

49
Elementary School in the Cypress area. The worship ministry at CBC has gone through
growth and transformation as well, moving to three services with classic/traditional and
contemporary worship emphases.10
Cypress Bible Church has a long tradition of grace-oriented Bible teaching, Bible
Church distinctives, and ministries designed to equip the believer for spiritual growth and
service. The church has been known for its loving concern for the body, its passion to
reach the world with the Gospel through its missions program, and recently its desire to be
the hands of feet and Christ in the local community as well. While God has blessed and
used Cypress Bible over the past forty years, the church still is not without dysfunction
and lack of health in certain times, which is true of most church bodies. There was a
pattern of some moral failures with lead staff tempered by strong leadership afterward,
when the last lead pastor arrived to CBC. Through his leadership, the staff experienced a
time of health—more so than in the past—which has been a refreshing change. There also
has been a history of periodic mistrust between staff and elders, though these relationships
moved back to general health under this particular senior leader.
Family Ministry Initiatives at Cypress Bible Church
In 2009 the vision of the church was narrowed in an effort to be more intentional
and focused. While this was a worthwhile exercise and resulted in beginning a direction
toward a more cohesive strategy, many of the family emphases that provided momentum
at the time were relinquished because they were not a fit for the new direction. In
addition, with the departure in 2012 of the senior pastor who led these initiatives,
10
Ibid.

50
competing mental models of what CBC should be have begun to emerge, resulting in
ambiguity concerning the direction, purpose, and vision of the church. This is not
necessarily a bad thing, since crises many times can prompt an urgency to be a catalyst of
change. It is in this context that CBC finds itself currently and in which a strategy shall be
proposed for leading change from the middle, with a focus toward strengthening families
and influencing intergenerational ministry. However, first an understanding of attachment
theory and Bowlby’s phenomenon of secure base must be addressed. This is paramount
information that will augment an understanding of church as a secure base on which
children and adolescents can rely as they actuate into healthy adulthood.

51
CHAPTER 4
ATTACHMENT THEORY AND SECURE BASE
Attachment theory conceptualizes the universal need by humans to form close
bonds of affection—be it with a parent, significant caregiver, cluster of friends, or
network of close associates. While much of the research has been on the first few years of
life, there is much in the past few years that has shed light on adult attachment as well.
Consequently, attachment seems to be an ongoing phenomenon that continues throughout
all stages of life.
Attachment Theory
Popularized by Bowlby and Ainsworth, attachment theory states the more secure a
child is in relationship to the mother (usually), the more positive and successful the
separation-individuation process will be.1
In this way, “attachment” is the perception of
the receiver as to the strength of a relationship or bond and the power or potency that bond
creates in that relationship. During the early years, a child’s primary attachment figure for
safety and security is the mother. As a child moves up the pole toward adolescence and
1
Ainsworth and Bowlby, “An Ethological Approach to Personality Development,” 333-341.

52
across the tightrope, many experts believe that the child’s allegiance in attachment shifts
from mother to father.2
Consequently, there is strong evidence to consider the need for
both parents, as well as any other adult in the life of an adolescent, to function together to
provide what is called “paternal attachment.”3
Adolescent attachment to parents, then,
enables adolescents to complete adolescence more completely and confidently as well as
foster a healthy self-concept and sense of confidence that accompanies them into
adulthood. The notion of parental attachment may play a significant role in the
development of adolescence. Bowlby recognizes this when he writes:
In the case of children and adolescents we see them, as they get older, venturing
steadily further from base and for increasing spans of time. The more confident
they are that their base is secure and, moreover, ready if called upon to respond,
the more they take it for granted. Yet should one or the other parent become ill or
die, the immense significance of the base to the emotional equilibrium of the child
or adolescent or young adult is at once apparent . . . those who are most stable
emotionally and making the most of their opportunities are those who have
parents who, whilst always encouraging their children’s autonomy, are none the
less available and responsive when called upon. Unfortunately, of course, the
reverse is also true.4
Hence, if a child has a close, safe relationship with parents throughout childhood and
adolescence, that child has a much better chance of moving into adolescence as well as
completing adolescence more quickly and in a healthier state.
2
3
Ibid.
4
Bowlby, A Secure Base, 11-12.

53
Bowlby replaced Freud’s drive reduction model of close relationships with one that
emphasized the role of close relationships in exploration and competence.5
As a result, he
presented the concept of working models. Children develop internal working models of
attachment, which allow them to develop a view of self in relationship to others, especially
the primary attachment figures. “Each individual brings working models of the world and
of himself in it, with the aid of which he perceives events, forecasts the future, and
constructs his plans. In the working models of the world that anyone builds a key feature is
his notion of who his attachment figures are, where they may be found, and how they may
be expected to respond.”6
Bowlby believed that these mental representations of the self and
others, formed in the context of the child-caregiver relationship, carry forward and
influence thought, feeling, and behavior in adult relationships.7
This implies more of a
pathway of personality development than a stage theory of development.
Susan Harter compliments these impressions as well. She states that according to
recent research, children who experience parents as emotionally available, loving, and
supportive of their mastery efforts will construct a working model of the self as lovable
and competent, whereas a child who experiences the opposite will construct an equally
5
Everett Waters, et al. “Bowlby’s Secure Base Theory and the Social/Personality Psychology of
Attachment Styles: Works in Progress,” Attachment and Human Development 4: 2, (September 2002): 230.
6
John Bowlby, Attachment and Loss, vol. 2 of Separation: Anxiety and Anger (New York: Basic
Books, 1973), 203.
7
Paula R. Pietromonaco and Lisa Feldman Barrett, “The Internal Working Models Concept: What
Do We Really Know about the Self in Relation to Others?” Review of General Psychology 4, no. 2 (June
2000): 155.

54
opposite working model of the self.8
This concept has important ramifications if churches
are to be viewed as a place of secure base from which adolescents and young adults can
venture, explore, and return for nurturing and safety. It implies that parents not only are
instrumental as continual attachment figures as a secure base from which the young can
produce healthy working models of the self in Christ but other generations in the church
are responsible as well. Harter continues and alludes to this: “In addition to the
incorporation of the opinions of significant others, children come to internalize the
standards and values of those who are important to them, including the values of a larger
society, which one researcher has referred to as the ‘cultural self.’”9
Individuation
It has been stated that separation and individuation are the key markers of the
process of adolescence. Separation refers to the separation from the role (as opposed to
the person) as it relates to another person. Namely, in the process of adolescence, it is the
separation from family systems to peers in adolescence to peers in adulthood.
Individuation refers to finding one’s sense of uniqueness apart from the other. In the
process of moving from childhood to adolescence to adulthood, there are two main
separation-individuation movements. The first individuation is in the toddler stage as
toddlers psychosocially recognize their uniqueness. This may be manifested in learning to
walk or saying “no” for the first time. The second individuation usually occurs in late
childhood as the child begins a negotiated role into adulthood. Navigating the tightrope
8
Susan Harter, The Construction of the Self: Developmental and Sociocultural Foundations, 2nd
ed. (New York: The Guilford Press, 2012), 12.
9
Ibid.

55
causes the now adolescent to be more responsible for personal growth and development.
Some researchers even allude to a third individuation, in which the shift moves from
being seen in a “role” to adults to actually becoming a peer to adults.10
The two foremost names associated with separation-individuation are Margret
Mahler and Peter Blos. For Mahler, individuation is the process whereby a person
achieves a level of independence from some external control and becomes somewhat
reliant. In an article co-authored with Fred Pine and Anni Bergman,
Mahler uses the term
in describing the process of gaining independence in the phase of early childhood, usually
the fifth month of infancy through the thirty-sixth month.11
The toddler repeatedly strives
to gain independence yet returns to the mother as needed for comfort and security.
Blos took Mahler’s theory a step further and applied it to the adolescent. He
proposed “to view adolescence in its totality as the second individuation process, the first
one having been completed toward the end of the third year of life.”12
In this second
individuation phase, the young person separates from the role and associated identity of
child and moves toward becoming an adult, differentiated person.13
Adolescents begin to
own and take responsibility for who they are and what they do, instead of projecting that
responsibility onto those who have raised them. It is also worthwhile to note that
10
Clark, “YF728: Psychosocial and Spiritual Development of Adolescents” (lecture, Fuller
Theological Seminary, Pasadena, CA, February 2012).
11
Margaret Mahler, Fred Pine, and Anni Bergman, “Stages of the Infant’s Separation from the
Mother,” in The Psychosocial Interior of the Family, 4th
ed. eds. Gerald Handel and Gail G. Whitchurch
(New York: Aldine De Gruyter, 1994), 419; see also Clark, “The Changing Face of Adolescence,” 48.
12
Peter Blos, The Adolescent Passage: Developmental Issues (New York: International
Universities Press, 1979), 142.
13

56
adolescent individuation involves separating from the role of child but not separating
from the love, support, and nurture of the family system. Therefore, “the perception that
adolescent separation requires severing primary familial relationships is rarely true and
never healthy.”14
Some research now suggests that the separation-individuation process is
lifelong; that is, independence from parents and related development continues
throughout life. One researcher defines this “third individuation” as “that continuous
process of elaboration of the self and differentiation from objects which occurs in the
developmental phases of early (20 to 40 years old) and middle (40 to 60 years old)
adulthood.”15
Accordingly, as one moves from the second individuation to the third, this
movement extends throughout the early and middle adult life as the child-now-adult
becomes a parent and lives into this particular role. The individual continues parental
separation as in the first two individuations, yet the roles are intertwined since one is now
involved as both a child and a parent. Thus, the third individuation is an amalgam of
infantile and adult experiences, intimately related to the first and second individuations
but qualitatively different from both of them.16
This concept can explain many issues of
difficulty in differentiation of adult children from parents, if there has not been health in
either role, as well as bring attention to the importance of secure relationships into
adulthood that are necessary for continued healthy individuation.
14
Ibid., 53.
15
Calvin A. Colarusso, “The Third Individuation: The Effect of Biological Parenthood on
Separation-Individuation Processes in Adulthood,” The Psychoanalytic Study of the Child 45 (1990): 181.
16
Ibid., 184.

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