1. You realize by now that self-defense is more
than hitting and kicking, right?
2. Middle School tends to be a time when girls
change friends a lot, which causes a lot of stress
Bullies tend to be girls with poor social skills, so
they are not good at handling things when
relationships change
Bullies, while they seem confident, really feel
badly about themselves, and try to build
themselves up by putting others down
3. Spreading Gossip or Rumors
Criticisms on Appearance
Accusations of a lack of loyalty as a friend
Isolating someone from friends
(by threatening someone
that they will be bullied if they
hang out with someone else)
4. First, realize that standing by and watching gives
the bully increased feelings of power
Second, realize that standing by and watching
gives the victim feelings that a whole group is
against her
Third, realize that standing by and watching,
glad that it is someone else and not you,
doesn’t work. As we said before, relationships
change and you could be next.
5. A study (Underwood, 2003) showed that a
victim challenging a bully when it was
happening totally WORKED to stop the
behavior. This means standing up and saying to
the bully that you know what is happening and
that you will tell teachers, etc.
6. The other thing that worked was for those
observing bullying to step in and do the same
thing… confront the bully. Would you stand by
and watch while someone was beaten? Why
would you stand by and watch while someone is
verbally abused?
7. As said before, say something! You will feel
better about yourself, and you will make
yourself less of a victim in the future
(remember…bullies AND predators look for the
easy victim)
Realize that the bully is doing what they are
doing because they have problems that they
don’t know how to handle. It’s not an
excuse, but it can help you realize that you feel
better about yourself than they do about
themselves
8. ATTITUDE : By Charles Swindoll, cont.
“We cannot change our past, we cannot change the
fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot
change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play
on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am
Convinced that life is 10% what happens to me, and
90% how I react to it. And so it is with you….
we are in charge of our attitude.”
So at the same time you are trying to change the
atmosphere (by confronting the bully), realize that you
cannot directly change THEM. You can change you.
9. First, admit it to yourself, and then give yourself
credit for having he courage to admit it!
Apologize. Being genuinely sorry goes a long
way to mending a relationship
Studies have shown that about 40% of bullies
and victims go on to be friends if they talk about
what happened. Even if a friendship isn’t
possible, an apology is a good thing for both.
10. If you are being bullied, tell your
community…that means your
friends, teachers and parents
If you SEE someone being bullied, do the same
thing….tell someone. Isn’t that what you would
want someone to do if you were the victim?
And if you find yourself bullying, find someone
to talk to (teacher, parent, adult friend, pastor,
neighbor). People are willing to help you gain
the skills you need to succeed as a friend.
