This Slide Show is the summary of a 4 part workshop designed for team building and the improvement of communication in larger groups.

1. Welcome to
‘Transforming
Relationships’
A Dynamic Approach
to Team Development
and Leadership
© Gudrun Frerichs 2008

2. Effective
Communication
is crucial for
success!

3. Obstacles to Effective
Communication are …
• Lack of Self Awareness
• Prejudice
• Being
• Lack of Connection with Self &
Others
• Jumping Ahead
• Not Listening

4. Quality of Relationships
RELA
YOU OTHER
TION
SHIP

5. Strength of Team
Relationships
Weak
Less
Bond
Sharing
More Stronger
Sharing Bond

6. Johari Window

7. The Making of a Person

8. Brain Development
• From the moment of birth, the
young infant depends on the
mother for adjustments and the
organisation of his or her
physiology, for example body
temperature, breathing pattern,
digestive system, and
emotional states.

9. Brain Development
The human brain does grow in
response to (moderate) challenge
and new learning”. The development
of the brain takes place through
positive and negative interactions
within significant relationships
whereby the quality of these
interactions is represented in the
structures of neural networks

10. Recognition Theory
Individuals’ ability to express
their needs and desires relies
on the development and
maintenance of:
»Self-confidence
»Self-respect
»Self-esteem

11. Recognition Theory
Self-confidence, self-respect
self-esteem develop in:
• Emotional bonds within close
relationships – LOVE
• Granting of rights through
legal systems – RIGHTS
• Shared value orientation within
the community - SOLIDARITY

12. Development of Personality
1.

13. The PAC Model
CP NP CP NP
P P
A A
AC FC
AC FC
C
C

14. Drama Triangle
Persecutor
Victim Rescuer

15. Winner’s Triangle
Assertive
Vulnerable Caregiver

16. Communication

17. Presupposition
All behaviour is motivated
by positive intention
Every behaviour is useful
in some context
There is no failure –
everything is feedback

18. NLP Communication Model

19. Communication
7% Words
38 % Quality of Voice
55 % Nonverbal Communication

20. Rapport: Pacing is …
matching or mirroring
–Speed of talking,
–Tone of voice
–Body posture
–Biography
–Representational systems

21. Representational Systems
V Visional
A Auditory
K Kinesthetic
O Olfactory
G Gustatory

22. Visual Characteristics
• are neat and orderly • are appearance-oriented
• are strong, fast readers • are good spellers and can
• would rather read than actually see the words in
be read to their minds
• need an overall view • remember what was
and purpose seen, rather than heard
• forget to relay verbal
• memorise by visual
messages to others
association
• would rather do a
• have trouble
demonstration than
make a speech remembering verbal
instructions and often ask
• often know what to say
but can't think of the people to repeat
right words themselves

23. Visual Predicates
and Phrases
picture, sight, looks, view, overvi
ew, focus, clear, hazy, vision, twi
nkle and phrases like an eyeful, it
appears to me, take a look
at, beyond a shadow of a
doubt, dim view of things, get a
perspective on, mind's eye, rose
tinted glasses, tunnel vision, big
picture thinking.

24. Auditory Characteristics
• talk to themselves • are eloquent speakers
• are easily distracted • like music more than art
by noise
• learn by remembering
• move their lips and
what was discussed
pronounce the words
rather than seen
as they read
• are talkative, love
• enjoy reading aloud
and listening discussion,
• can mimic tone pitch • struggle with projects
and timbre of voice involving visualisation
• find writing difficult, • can spell better out loud
are better at telling
than in writing
• speak in rhythmic
patterns

25. Auditory Predicates
and Phrases
Say, loud, sound, tell, silence,
listen, shout, noisy, talk, ask,
accent, question, click, rhythm,
language, speech, rings a bell,
turn a deaf ear, unheard of, o
manner of speaking, living in
harmony, word for word, loud
and clear, I said to myself,

26. Kinesthetic Characteristics
• respond to physical • Speak slowly and
rewards gesture a lot
• touch people to get • can't sit still for long
their attention periods of time
• stand close when • can't remember
talking to someone geography unless
they've actually been
• are physically oriented
there
and move a lot
• use action words
• learn by manipulating
and doing • may have messy
handwriting
• memorise by walking
and seeing • want to act things out
• use a finger as a • like involved games
pointer when reading

27. Kinesthetic Predicates
and Phrases
concrete, emotional, sensitive, firm,
flow, feels, touch, heavy,
burdensome, hard, weighty,
pressure, grasp, lukewarm,
foundation, stress, structure,
demonstrate and phrases like boils
down to, get a load of this, heated
argument, keep your shirt on, get a
handle on, pull some strings and start
from scratch.

28. Active Listening
Active listening is clearing your
mind as much as possible and
be fully attentive to the other
person – without judgements,
prejudices, or foregone
conclusions.

29. Giving Feedback
• Is your feedback wanted?
• Be clear on your motives
• Be objective and timely
• Focus on behaviour not person
• Sandwich your feedback
• Make I-statements

30. Sandwich Example
Your presentation was great.
You made good eye
contact, and were well
prepared. You were a little hard
to hear at the back of the
room, but with some practice
you can overcome this. Keep up
the good work!

31. Receiving Feedback
• Listen to feedback
• Be open
• Understand the message
• Reflect on what to do
• Follow up on feedback

32. Feedback: TOTE Model
OPERATE
TEST
TEST
EXIT

33. Mediation/Communication
Hierarchy of Ideas
Big Picture
Abstract language
Existence
Movement
Transportation
Buses Boats Cars Planes Trains
BMW VW Wheels Doors
Golf Hub Cap
Beatle Nuts
Specific/Details
Sensory / specific language

34. Conflict Resolution
• Process of attending a dispute
or a conflict in a way that all
involved parties have their
interest acknowledged.
• Aim is to arrive at a win-
outcome

35. Styles of Resolution
• Dialogue
• Conciliation
• Mediation
• Arbitration
• Litigation

36. Resolution Skills
• Calling timeout
• Asking what’s mission
• Fix the system
• Non Violent Communication

37. Universal Needs
• Love
– Food, warmth, shelter, safety
• Rights
– Freedom, space, choice,
equality, respect
• Solidarity
– Connection, appreciation,
consideration

38. Conflict & Needs
Expressions in conflict
situations such as anger,
hurt, and envy inform us
that an important need has
not been met.

39. 4 Steps of Managing Conflict
• Make an observation about the
situation
• Express your feelings about the
situation
• Express your need right now
• Request what you want to have
happening

40. Conflict Management
Do you want to be right or
do you want to connect?
The core of NVC conflict
management is to connect.

41. Identify Your Needs
What are you thinking right now
or have you been thinking
during today’s workship?
What does it tell you about what
were you feeling and needing?

42. Exercise
Observation
Feeling
Need
Request

43. Congratulations!

44. THANK YOU