Susan Windsor - Dont Shoot the Messenger

© Copyright 2008 Aqastra 1
Dedicated to Testing Excellence
EuroSTAR 2009
Don’t Shoot the Messenger!
Susan Windsor

© Copyright 2009 Aqastra
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Topics we will cover together
• The SCIENCE of Persuasion
• The ART of Story Telling
• Communication Styles

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Things to think about
• Have some fun if you can
• Participate when you feel able
• Share a little bit ofYOU
• Keep an open mind
• Learn from each other

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The Purpose
Who am I and Why am I Here?
• We should all ask ourselves this
• We’ll return to these two questions later
• In the meantime:
– Who is Susan Windsor?
– Why is she here?

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Exercise
“Crossing the Line” competition!

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Why areYou Here?
I’ll take a few guesses for now….
• You feel under-valued
• No one seems to understand your test reports
• Systems go live when you’ve stressed serious issues
• You always seem to have less time/staff than you
need to do the job you want to do
• Developers see you as an inhibitor to moving on
Any more you want to share?

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What’s the Difference?
• The SCIENCE of
Persuasion
– Left brain activity
• Logical
• Sequential
• Rational
• Analytical
• Looks at parts
• The ART of Story Telling
– Right brain activity
• Random
• Intuitive
• Holistic
• Subjective
• Looks at wholes
Related topics but very differently implemented
Communication Styles underpin both
Both need practice and a change of your behaviour (the difficult bit!)

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But is it Manipulation?
• We all have good and bad in us, you could use
the techniques to the detriment of others
• People don’t do things against their beliefs and
values for long though!
• We all want to improve our ability to
communicate in the best interests of us, those
around us and our organisation.

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My Key Reference Point
Interpreted by me!
YES – 50 Secrets from the Science of Persuasion
Noah J Goldstein
Steve J Martin
Robert B Cialdini
“Surprising, provocative, fun” – Tim Harford of the Undercover Economist
Read it for yourself and draw your own conclusions

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Why Science?
• Persuasion has been studied for over half a
century
• Much of the results lay dormant in academic
journals – it’s a kind of secret
• Why is it overlooked?
– People prefer to rely on economics, politics science and
policy
– People believe (normally incorrectly) that they already
have intuitive understanding of physiological principles

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Six Key Principles
• Reciprocation
– The return of favours (what goes around comes around)
• Authority
– The seeking out of experts (you!)
• Commitment/Consistency
– Agreement to things that fit our values and beliefs
• Scarcity
– The less available something is, the more desirable it becomes
• Liking
– The more we like someone, the more likely we are to say yes
• Social Proof
– We guide our behaviour to match others (even though we say we don’t)

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Reciprocation
• If you’re able to help someone, just do it,
without expecting anything in return.
• Register this in a way that feels comfortable:
– I know you’d do the same for me
– I’m very limited on time but I’ll see what I can do
• Eventually the favour will return to you
• Used as a lever, it only works once!
• Visibility matters

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Reciprocation Example
• Bobby Fisher
• Mine
• Yours?
• Is there someone you’d like to do
you a favour?

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Authority
• You’re an expert
• People like to seek out expert advice
• BUT people don’t like show-off’s
• How do you get known as an expert not a
show off?
• Bit of a dilemma!
• Not by saying “I’m the testing expert, listen to
me!”

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Authority Example
• Think about EuroSTAR (and other conferences)
• Why are speakers introduced by someone else?
• Blatant self-promotion causes damage
• Who can sing your praises as an expert?
– Spend a minute thinking who can do this for you
– How can you ask them to do this?
– Can the group help?

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Commitment
• Research shows if you write an appointment
down yourself (doctor, hairdresser, etc) you’re
more likely to turn up.
• If you get others to write down their actions
and read them back to you, they are more
likely to do them – try it.
• Discuss examples from our own experience

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Consistency
• The only truly consistent people are dead!
• But people don’t like change
• If you want someone to change their behaviour,
demonstrate how it fits in with their values and
beliefs.
• Best way to ride a horse is in the direction it’s
going! Easier to gently steer to align with your
target
• Discuss examples from our own experiences

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Scarcity
• We’ve all heard the adverts,“our phone operators
are waiting for your call”
• What image does this give you? Does it make you
want to call them?
• Research shows “if we’re busy, please call again later”
greatly increases the number of calls
• You’re busy too!
• Offer small time slots to people you want to talk to
instead of always being available

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Liking
• We all find it easier to deal with people we
like
• What if you have to work with someone you
don’t like?
• What if you suspect someone you work with
doesn’t like you?

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Social Proof
• We all say we’re not influenced by the actions
of others but the science proves this isn’t true
• As testers, change your terminology to
stakeholders
• Discuss examples from our own experience

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Hints and Tips
• Magnetic middle
• More is less
• Bonus can be an Onus
• Increase desirability
• Fear
• Post it Notes
• Seeking agreement

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My Key Reference Point
Interpreted by Me!
The Story Factor
Inspiration, Influence and Persuasion Through the Art of Storytelling
Annette Simmons
“This wonderful book….. will unleash your capacity to be more effective
in whatever your line of work.
Everyone who cares about positive change at an individual, organisational
or global level should experience The Story Factor”
Gail Christopher, Harvard University

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Exercise
“Finding your Comfort Zone”

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Why Art?
• You have wisdom you can’t explain and don’t
know you have – everyone does
• This can help you influence others
• Learn to trust your wisdom
• Explaining storytelling is like explaining a
kitten. Our memories are meaningful as a
whole not dissected. Trying to dissect the
memory is like cutting a kitten in half

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Why Now?
• Ancient form of communication, it should be natural,
but we have forgotten it!
• There is an emerging realisation that to have a
thriving business, you need “whole” people – people
with left brains as well as right!
• The emotional brain doesn’t like being neglected
• People value their own conclusions more than yours
• Everyone deep down wants to be proud of their lives
and feel they are important

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My Overriding Premise
• Stakeholders don’t need more information!
• They are up to their eyeballs in information
• They want faith
– In you
– In your goals
– In your success
– In the story you tell
• Faith moves mountains, not facts
• A story is worth a thousand assurances

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Timing is Critical
• People won’t care how much you know, until they
know how much you care
• When direct approach doesn’t work, story gives
indirect alternative
• The emotional brain would rather be safe than sorry,
we filter everything through a believability index.
• In a complex situation, people listen to the person
who makes the most sense
• IT moved slowly enough for us to pretend we lived
in a linear and predictable world – not any more!

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Rebuke and Timing
• We give rebuke when timing is right for us
• If timing not “right” for the other person they
can’t “hear” your message.
• Story helps people understand what the facts
they already have mean
• Reach out for the collective wisdom

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6 Key Stories
Actually you may have 3 or 33, but let’s start with these to help your left brain out!
• Who I Am
• Why Am I Here
• TheVision
• Teaching
• Values in Action
• I Know WhatYou’re Thinking
We’ll discuss these in more detail shortly

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But first – who influences you?
• Think of two people who have tried to influence you;
one who succeeded and one who failed
• How “connected” were you to each. Influenced you
because you felt “connected”, or felt “connected”
after they influenced you?
• Think about our language.
– He’s OK I know him - or
– It’s not that I don’t trust him, I just don’t know him!
– This guy doesn’t live in the real world

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Who do you want to Influence?
• Probably someone you already know
• They don’t really know you, but already have
an opinion
• Most IT folk appear one-dimensional
• One-dimensional people are boring
• It’s a mistake to assume they already perceive
your good intentions, or that they trust you.
• If they say no to you, or don’t listen to you,
they will refer to facts as reasons why

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What if there is already a Disconnect?
• It takes lots of baby steps to change
someone’s mind
• You could try
– Shouting at them; Reasoning with them; Insulting
their intelligence; Confrontation
• Going “head to head” gives their negative
opinion more energy
• The left brain builds walls of logic

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How about Influencing ourselves?
• The stories we tell ourselves make us who we
are.
• Self fulfilling prophesy
• Examples
– I can’t win!
– No one ever listens to me!
– Stakeholders never understand!
• Learn some new ones
– Lets brainstorm some examples

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Who Am I and Why Am I Here?
• Continuously revisit these
– From “meaning of life” context
– To why you are at this session, meeting, etc
• Develop stories to represent yourself
• Share them when you get the chance –
practice
• Starting now!
• What can you share about yourself today?

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Exercise
“Visual Representation”

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TheVision
• Stakeholders have to “see” what’s in it for them
• If they don’t “see” your vision it’s not their fault
• Give the struggle and frustration some meaning
• Examples
– CEO wants £2m turnover company
– Seeing the “big picture” on a construction site
– Yours?

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Teaching
• Lets assume we want to share our knowledge
and skills
– New member of the team
– We’re coaching someone
– We’ve giving a course
• If people don’t “get it” again it’s not their fault
• How many times do you get asked for a
practical example?
– The specialist Navigator that gets ignored

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Values in Action
• Teach by example
• Live your values
• Can “value our people” balance “more for
less”?
• Examples
– Visible or hidden mistakes?
– Yours

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I Know WhatYou’re Thinking!
• People have already formed an opinion of you
before you open your mouth
• Surprise them!
• Example
– University lecturer and the umbrella

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Hints and Tips
• If you always get “straight to the point”, are
you ever the only one there?
• Be curious about other people’s stories, it
makes you smarter
• “What you need to understand is…” will
always alienate your listener
• Most people listen badly;“listening is waiting
for my turn to talk!”
• Don’t aim for total influence, remember Midas

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Exercise
“Share your Passion”

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Communications Styles

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Exercise
“Find your style”

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Director
Strengths
• Fast paced, quick thinker
• Focuses on action and results
• Does what is necessary to succeed
• Easy to know where they stand on
issues
• Can make decisions quickly
• Takes responsibility
• A natural leader
• Superior at negotiations
• High level of integrity
• A visionary, big picture person
• Highly creative
Weaknesses
• Impatient with those working too
slowly
• Lone ranger
• Difficulty trusting others with work
• Poor listener, prefers only bottom
line
• Can be judgemental
• Need to be in control causes
frustration
• Bottom-line approach cuts people off
• Tendency to dominate others
• Relationships with Director may be
stressful

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Presenter
Strengths
• Knows how to have fun
• Always up, energetic
• Communicates easily
• Motivates others
• An idea factory
• Enjoys/prefers new projects
• Promoting is a gift
• Thrives socially, is open to others
• Is not rigid
• Is very intuitive, empathic with
people
Weaknesses
• May not always be taken seriously
• Poor operational follow through
• Doesn’t like to solve problems
• Gets bored easily
• May over-promise and under-
deliver
• Likes to be appreciated
• Would rather talk than listen
• May try to dominate team
meetings
• Does not manage time well
• May not manage finances well

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Mediator
Strengths
• Interaction style is subtle, gentle,
indirect and inclusive
• A good listener,“gets” others
• Comes from expertise
• Everyone loves the Mediator
• Is the “Champion” of others
• Predictably open and honest
• Encourages others through
appreciation
• Creative with lots of good ideas
• Good sense of humour
Weaknesses
• May be difficult to get to know, likes
privacy
• Focuses on people issues over
business progress
• Does not like risk taking
• Doesn’t like surprises
• May give up progress for sake of
harmony
• Working in support role may keep
them sidelined
• Prefers routine over spontaneity
• Overly sensitive to criticism
• May avoid centre stage
• Can see both sides of an issue, so
decisions may not come easily

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Strategist
Strengths
• Likes people, but not large groups
• Confident if facts are known
• Likes to give advice
• Very thorough
• Fair and unbiased
• Clear communicator
• Will take calculated risks
• Enjoys structure
• Likes to think things through
• Takes others’ input seriously
• Careful decision maker
• Very good follow-up and follow-
through
Weaknesses
• Difficult to stop pursuing prefection
• Fear of mistakes creates time
consuming tasks
• Difficulty making timely decisions
• Will take risks only after knowing all
facts
• Tends to be critical
• May over focus on operational task
oriented items
• May approach situations from the
outside looking in
• Worries a lot
• Slow to action
• Does not easily let go of past, slow to
embrace new
• Leisure has to have a purpose

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Hints and Tips
• This isVERY broad brush
• This is NOT a judgement on individuals
• Use definitions and clues to find preferred
styles of others
• Remember, people adopt different styles to
suit the context of the situation

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And Finally………
• Practice
–Practice
• Practice
– Practice
» Practice
• Take baby steps
• You will make mistakes, but they don’t
matter
Please contact me onPlease contact me on susan@aqastra.comsusan@aqastra.com, – I’ll be glad to hear from you, – I’ll be glad to hear from you

Susan Windsor - Dont Shoot the Messenger

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