This is the presentation Daniel Maddux gave at the October 1, 2014 meeting of the Greater Houston Chapter of APMP. It received the highest rating for a presentation in the chapter's history.

1. Quickly Improve the
Writing in Your Proposals
Daniel
Maddux

2. Scope/responding to
the actual
requirement
17%
Inadequate reviews
11%
Other
11%
Overly
complicated
17%
Schizophrenic
11%
Embarrassing
boilerplate
Vendor-focused
11%
11%
Glaring text
errors
11%
Biggest
Problems
with Text

3. What is the biggest problem
with the writing in proposals?
Content that is not compliant! I can't tell you the number of
times I get content that does not follow the outline provided,
does not answer the question fully, or completely ignores the
page requirements.
Jeannette Waldie, CPP APMP
Owner at J. K. Waldie & Associates

4. Is King
King Content gets dumped.

5. Complicated

6. …Perhaps the most common problem, however,
is that a well-intentioned and informed writer
simply fails to get the message across to an
intelligent, interested reader. In that case, stilted
jargon and complex constructions are usually the
villains.
Warren Buffet
preface to the SEC Plain English handbook

7. REMEDIES
key question
Does it make
sense the first
time you read it?
tool any others?
Use metrics.

8. EXERCISE
Use Word
metrics
to simplify
writing

9. Focus

10. One the biggest problems with the text in proposals?
Talking about your own company WAY TOO MUCH! The
focus should be on the client. I try to use the rule of
using your clients' name three times more than your
own.”
Krissy Chaney
Proposal Writer at RTL Networks, Inc

11. REMEDIES
key question
How many times
did you use the
customer’s
name vs. yours?
tool any others?
Plan the focus
up front.
Prioritize key
sections.

12. EXERCISE
Rewrite a
vendor-focused
section of text

13. Text Errors

14. Do not
tolerate
any mElitie Doscumetntaation Ekmployeee Stasndard.s

15. REMEDIES
key question
Does any of this
make us look
dumb?
tool
Use a different
set of eyes.
any others?

16. Find as many
errors as you
can!
EXERCISE

17. Text

18. Different authors may yield different
styles or voice. These differences may
also manifest themselves with the facts ...
Somebody has to do a “horizontal
alignment” check.
Al Pena
Principal at A&M CoOp

19. REMEDIES
key question
Do we have a
pre-existing
standard?
tool
Make sure
you do!
Have a rational
workflow.
any others?

20. EXERCISE
Determine what
needs to be
standardized

21. Boilerplate

22. Nothing says "I don't give a fig"
like calling the customer Acme
Manufacturing when their name
is Amalgamated International.
Peter Baron
Head of Bid Management at Bull Information Systems

23. REMEDIES
key question
Which parts do
we need to
customize
for each
customer?
tool any others?
Have a list of key
text to customize.
Use standard terms.

24. EXERCISE
Brainstorm for
key kinds of
information
to look for

25. Daniel Maddux
(713)742-3341
elitedocumentation.com
dmaddux@elitedocumentation.com