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Listening with One’s Eyes -- Blending Expressive
   Arts in Group-Work with Bereaved Children




Eleanor Pardess, SELAH- Israel Crisis Management Center
Binnational Conference for Treating Traumatized Children
                        30.6.2002
Bereavement following Violent Death

• Children who have lost a parent, sibling, or another relative
  through violent circumstances are more likely to develop
  complicated grief compounded with posttraumatic stress
  reactions, which are often overlooked and underestimated.
• These often “forgotten mourners” bear the heavy burden of
  dealing with their own grief as well as that of parents and
  other family members (Silverman, 2000; Sandler,1998; Dyregrov,
  1991)
• The ability to construct a trauma narrative and feeling
  understood are protective factors (Neimeyer, 2000)




                                    ©
Art and Working Through Trauma

• The expressive arts provide a vehicle for processing
  information, containing strong emotions and enhancing self
  regulation

• Use of imagery directed to right brain, speaking the ”language
  of trauma”

• Using multiple modalities can open lines of communication
  and support narrative construction




                                   ©
A Modular Approach to Groupwork



                  Narrative           Solution             Adventure   Wilderness
                  Approach            Focused              Therapy     Training




•   The Expressive Arts and Making the Invisible Visible
•   Group Process Made Visible (Riley, 2001)
•   Grief and the Healing Arts ( Bertman, 1999)
•   Managing Traumatic Stress through Art (Cohen et al, 1995)




                                                           ©
Building networks of support- An ecological perspective




                       Communty/Culture



                           School


                            Family


                            Child




                                     ©
Stories Waiting to be Told- Illustrations from Seminars

                            “This is the missile that blew up the
                            plane. My father and grandmother
                            broke into the sea. It is very cold in
                            there and the sharks are eating them
                            up.”
                            (5 year old boy lost father and grandmother
                            in Air Siberia plane
                            crash-Oct 2001)




                                 ©
The Intrusion of the Black




                                 “This is for my mother a
                                 present, but the black is
                                 spoiling it all”




                             ©
Survival in the Desert Workshop



                                  • Layers

                                  • Burnt tree

                                  • Trees in the desert

                                  • Water
                                  10 year old girl who lost
                                  brother




                            ©
Group work with parents-

• Parents can be helped to become aware of the subtle
  messages they convey , to separate their own fears from
  those of the child, and have their own responses validated
  and normalized.
• Identity disruption and loss of sense of competence needs to
  be acknowledged.
• Constructing a coherent family narrative can be facilitated
  through expressive arts in a way that can promote family
  resilience (Byng-Hall, 1995; Walsch, 2000)




                                   ©
Between the Living and the Dead

                                       • “I am all caught up in knots of
                                         thoughts. Every part of my body,
                                         right down to my feet, is
                                         entangled in thoughts. Many of
                                         them are black thoughts.

                                       • I want to be with my husband all
                                         the time. He is always there,
                                         standing behind the empty
                                         chair. Sitting in the other chair is
Husband killed   4 year old son   Me
                                         my little boy. He is wearing
                                         green-the color of life. He is my
                                         hope. I know that he needs me
                                         but I am stuck in the middle,
                                         actually nowhere, not knowing
                                         who to turn to first”

                                        ©
Between the Living and the Dead

                            “My son was a taxi driver. You see
                            the car severed and the baby left
                            in the back . I am trying to keep on
                            going somehow, for the sake of
                            my grandchildren.”




 Me           Baby




                            ©
No more music in my life

                               Beethoven’s fifth
                               symphony cut off !
                               “Fate’s strike!”
                               “No more music in my
                               life”
                               (Five months after wife was
                               killed. A musician, unable to
                               find a job as a musician)
                               Life continuum disrupted-
                               divided into “before”and
                               “after”.
                               The loss is also the loss of
                               one’s own self and identity.




                           ©
Between the Living and the Dead

                                ” I was in the handcuffs of
                                death. Death wanted to take
                                me away. I didn’t feel I had the
                                strength or will to resist. Only
                                my granddaughter’s small
                                hand, over the void, and the
                                family, and the people from
                                Selah who helped me – is
                                pulling me back to life.”
                                (Son killed in terrorist attack)




                            ©
Nourishing Memories

                                                “This is me in the
                                                center on a sled in
                                                the snow with my
                                                brother and father
                                                when they were
                                                alive. They were
                                                playing with me in
                                                the snow. We had a
                                                lot of fun.”



  Father died   This is me in    Brother died
   in Russia     the center     two years ago




                                     ©
Discussion- Stories Waiting To Be Told

• Combining the expressive arts with narrative therapy can
  open new possibilities for practitioners.


• Art can be a valuable resource in the re-authoring of life
  narrative – A narrative with the child in the center.


• Treating traumatic stress can pave the way to renewed access
  to nourishing memories, strengthening continuing bonds and
  restoring the “going on being”.

Suggested activities- “My Book”, Look and Listen to Me”, “Journeys”


                                               ©
Providing a safe space




                                          AVOIDANCE
     RE-ENACTMENT




• Providing a safe space for back and forth movement
  and oscillation between intrusion (re-experiencing
  and re-enacting memories etc) and avoidance

                             ©
The challenge - Processing of traumatic events within the
window of tolerance




Pardess/ Expressive Arts in Group-Work with Traumatized Children Binnational Conference for Treating
Traumatized Children/2002

                                                       ©
Practical Implications

                         • Titrate- Work in small doses
                         • Empathy
                         • Follow the child’s response
                         • Listening with one’s eyes
                         • Try various channels
                         • Don’t forget enjoyment and
                           play. Dare to expect miracles!
                         “Such a tiny can and so much water”




                             ©

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Listening with one's eyes- Blending Expressive Arts in Group-Work with Bereaved Children

  • 1. Listening with One’s Eyes -- Blending Expressive Arts in Group-Work with Bereaved Children Eleanor Pardess, SELAH- Israel Crisis Management Center Binnational Conference for Treating Traumatized Children 30.6.2002
  • 2. Bereavement following Violent Death • Children who have lost a parent, sibling, or another relative through violent circumstances are more likely to develop complicated grief compounded with posttraumatic stress reactions, which are often overlooked and underestimated. • These often “forgotten mourners” bear the heavy burden of dealing with their own grief as well as that of parents and other family members (Silverman, 2000; Sandler,1998; Dyregrov, 1991) • The ability to construct a trauma narrative and feeling understood are protective factors (Neimeyer, 2000) ©
  • 3. Art and Working Through Trauma • The expressive arts provide a vehicle for processing information, containing strong emotions and enhancing self regulation • Use of imagery directed to right brain, speaking the ”language of trauma” • Using multiple modalities can open lines of communication and support narrative construction ©
  • 4. A Modular Approach to Groupwork Narrative Solution Adventure Wilderness Approach Focused Therapy Training • The Expressive Arts and Making the Invisible Visible • Group Process Made Visible (Riley, 2001) • Grief and the Healing Arts ( Bertman, 1999) • Managing Traumatic Stress through Art (Cohen et al, 1995) ©
  • 5. Building networks of support- An ecological perspective Communty/Culture School Family Child ©
  • 6. Stories Waiting to be Told- Illustrations from Seminars “This is the missile that blew up the plane. My father and grandmother broke into the sea. It is very cold in there and the sharks are eating them up.” (5 year old boy lost father and grandmother in Air Siberia plane crash-Oct 2001) ©
  • 7. The Intrusion of the Black “This is for my mother a present, but the black is spoiling it all” ©
  • 8. Survival in the Desert Workshop • Layers • Burnt tree • Trees in the desert • Water 10 year old girl who lost brother ©
  • 9. Group work with parents- • Parents can be helped to become aware of the subtle messages they convey , to separate their own fears from those of the child, and have their own responses validated and normalized. • Identity disruption and loss of sense of competence needs to be acknowledged. • Constructing a coherent family narrative can be facilitated through expressive arts in a way that can promote family resilience (Byng-Hall, 1995; Walsch, 2000) ©
  • 10. Between the Living and the Dead • “I am all caught up in knots of thoughts. Every part of my body, right down to my feet, is entangled in thoughts. Many of them are black thoughts. • I want to be with my husband all the time. He is always there, standing behind the empty chair. Sitting in the other chair is Husband killed 4 year old son Me my little boy. He is wearing green-the color of life. He is my hope. I know that he needs me but I am stuck in the middle, actually nowhere, not knowing who to turn to first” ©
  • 11. Between the Living and the Dead “My son was a taxi driver. You see the car severed and the baby left in the back . I am trying to keep on going somehow, for the sake of my grandchildren.” Me Baby ©
  • 12. No more music in my life Beethoven’s fifth symphony cut off ! “Fate’s strike!” “No more music in my life” (Five months after wife was killed. A musician, unable to find a job as a musician) Life continuum disrupted- divided into “before”and “after”. The loss is also the loss of one’s own self and identity. ©
  • 13. Between the Living and the Dead ” I was in the handcuffs of death. Death wanted to take me away. I didn’t feel I had the strength or will to resist. Only my granddaughter’s small hand, over the void, and the family, and the people from Selah who helped me – is pulling me back to life.” (Son killed in terrorist attack) ©
  • 14. Nourishing Memories “This is me in the center on a sled in the snow with my brother and father when they were alive. They were playing with me in the snow. We had a lot of fun.” Father died This is me in Brother died in Russia the center two years ago ©
  • 15. Discussion- Stories Waiting To Be Told • Combining the expressive arts with narrative therapy can open new possibilities for practitioners. • Art can be a valuable resource in the re-authoring of life narrative – A narrative with the child in the center. • Treating traumatic stress can pave the way to renewed access to nourishing memories, strengthening continuing bonds and restoring the “going on being”. Suggested activities- “My Book”, Look and Listen to Me”, “Journeys” ©
  • 16. Providing a safe space AVOIDANCE RE-ENACTMENT • Providing a safe space for back and forth movement and oscillation between intrusion (re-experiencing and re-enacting memories etc) and avoidance ©
  • 17. The challenge - Processing of traumatic events within the window of tolerance Pardess/ Expressive Arts in Group-Work with Traumatized Children Binnational Conference for Treating Traumatized Children/2002 ©
  • 18. Practical Implications • Titrate- Work in small doses • Empathy • Follow the child’s response • Listening with one’s eyes • Try various channels • Don’t forget enjoyment and play. Dare to expect miracles! “Such a tiny can and so much water” ©