how to improve self confidence

1. The Ultimate Guide to self-confidence
Simple yet powerful tools you can use, on your own, to help
you succeed as never before.
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What Is Confidence?
Confidence can refer to a general sense of belief and trust in your own ability to
control your life or it might be more situation-specific. For example, you
might have high self-confidence in an area of expertise but feel less confident
in other areas.
Having a healthy level of self-confidence can help you become more successful
in your personal and professional life. Research has found, for example, that
people who are more confident tend to achieve more academically.2
Confidence can also play a role in the motivation to pursue your goals, with
studies linking higher levels of self-confidence in athletes with increased
motivation to practice their sport of choice.3
Your level of confidence even
affects how you present yourself to others.
How to Be More Confident
Fortunately, there are several things you can do to increase your self-
confidence. Whether you lack confidence in one specific area or struggle to feel
confident about anything, these confidence boosters can help.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
Do you compare how you look to people you follow on Instagram? Or maybe
you compare your salary to what your friend earns. Social comparison theory
explains that making comparisons is natural. But it isn't likely to help boost
your self-confidence. It may even have the opposite effect.

2. A 2018 study published in Personality and Individual Differences reports a direct
link between envy and the way you feel about yourself.4
Specifically,
researchers noted that when people compared themselves to others, they
experienced envy. The more envy they had, the worse they felt about
themselves.
How do you build confidence when you notice that you are drawing
comparisons? First, remind yourself that doing so isn’t helpful. Everyone is
running their own race and life isn’t a competition.
If you’re feeling envious of someone else’s life, it's also helpful to remind
yourself of your own strengths and successes. Keep a gratitude journal to
remember the areas in life where you are blessed. This can help you focus on
your own life versus the lives of others.
How to Stop Constantly Comparing Yourself With Others
Surround Yourself With Positive People
Take a moment and think about how your friends make you feel. Do your
friends lift you up, or do they bring you down? Are they constantly judging you,
or do they accept you for who you are?
The people you spend time with can influence your thoughts and attitudes
about yourself, perhaps more than you realize. So, pay attention to how others
make you feel. If you feel bad about yourself after hanging out with a particular
person, it may be time to say goodbye.
Instead, surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you.
Seek out others who are positive and can help build your confidence. In fact,
self-confidence and a positive attitude go hand-in-hand.5
How to Create Truly Supportive Friendships
Take Care of Your Body
It’s hard to feel good about yourself if you’re abusing your body. On the other
hand, if you practice self-care, you know you're doing something positive for

3. your mind, body, and spirit—and you'll naturally feel more confident as a
result.
Here are a few self-care practices linked to higher levels of self-confidence:6
Diet: Healthy eating comes with many benefits, including higher levels
of self-confidence and self-esteem. When you fuel your body with
nutrient-dense foods, you feel healthier, stronger, and more energized,
which can result in feeling better about yourself.
Exercise: Studies consistently show that physical exercise boosts
confidence. For instance, a 2016 study published in Neuropsychiatric
Disease and Treatment found that regular physical activity improved
participants’ body image. And when their body image improved, they felt
more confident.7
Meditation: More than just a relaxation practice, meditation can help
boost self-confidence in several ways. For one, it helps you to recognize
and accept yourself. Meditation also teaches you to stop negative self-
talk and disconnect from unhelpful mental chatter interfering with your
confidence.
Sleep: Skimping on sleep can take a toll on your emotions. Conversely,
good-quality sleep has been linked with positive personality traits,
including optimism and self-esteem.8
Caring for yourself is an important part of feeling confident. Make sure you are
getting what you need to feel good about yourself and your abilities.
Be Kind to Yourself
Self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness when you make a
mistake, fail, or experience a setback. It allows you to become more
emotionally flexible and helps you better navigate challenging emotions,
enhancing your connection to yourself and others.
A 2015 study connects self-compassion with self-confidence.9
So the next time
you're in a challenging situation, recognize that being imperfect or falling

4. short at times is a part of being human. Do your best to navigate these
experiences with compassion toward yourself.
Self-Compassion Exercises to Boost Your Happiness
Practice Positive Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can limit your abilities and lessen your confidence by
convincing your subconscious that you "can't handle" something or that it is
"too hard" and you "shouldn't even try."10
Self-talk that is optimistic, on the
other hand, can help foster self-compassion, overcome self-doubt, and take
on new challenges.
The next time you begin to think that you have no business speaking up in a
meeting or that you are too out of shape to work out, remind yourself that your
thoughts aren’t always accurate. Then find a way to turn those thoughts
around into more positive self-talk.
Here are a few examples of ways to challenge pessimistic self-talk and reframe
your thoughts into a more positive way of thinking:
Instead of telling yourself "I can't handle this" or "this is impossible,"
try reminding yourself that "I can do this" or "all I have to do is try."
Instead of telling yourself "I can't do anything right" when you make a
mistake, remind yourself "I can do better next time" or "at least I
learned something."
Instead of saying you "hate" public speaking, use a milder word like
"don't like" and remind yourself that everyone has strengths and
weaknesses.
Face Your Fears
Stop putting things off until you feel more confident—like asking someone on
a date or applying for a promotion. One of the best ways to build your
confidence in these situations is by facing your fears head-on.11
Practice facing some of your fears that stem from a lack of self-confidence. If
you’re afraid you’ll embarrass yourself or think that you’re going to mess up,

5. try it anyway. Besides, a little self-doubt can help improve performance.12
Tell
yourself it’s just an experiment and see what happens.
You might learn that being a little anxious or making a few mistakes isn’t as
bad as you thought. And each time you move forward, you gain more
confidence in yourself. In the end, this can help prevent you from taking risks
that will result in major negative consequences.13
Get Advice From The Verywell Mind Podcast
Hosted by Editor-in-Chief and therapist Amy Morin, LCSW, this episode of
The Verywell Mind Podcast shares strategies that can help you learn to truly
believe in yourself, featuring IT Cosmetics founder Jamie Kern Lima.
Confident vs. Insecure Characteristics
When your goal is to become more confident, it can be helpful to understand
the different characteristics between someone with self-confidence and
someone who is more insecure with themselves. Here are just some of the
differences between the two.
Confident People
● Celebrate other people's success
● Stay open-minded
● Think positively
● Willing to take risks
● Able to laugh at themselves
● Decisive
● Always learning and growing
● Admit mistakes
● Accept responsibility
Insecure People
● Judgmental and jealous of others
● Close-minded
● Pessimistic
● Fear change

6. ● Hide flaws
● Indecisive
● Act like a know-it-all
● Always make excuses
● Blame others
Benefits of Self-Confidence
Being confident in yourself just feels good. That said, having self-confidence
can also bring many additional benefits at home, at work, and within your
relationships. Here's a look at a few of the positive effects of self-confidence:
Better performance: Rather than waste time and energy worrying that
you aren't good enough, you can devote your energy to your efforts.
Ultimately, you'll perform better when you feel confident.14
Healthier relationships: Having self-confidence not only impacts how
you feel about yourself, but it helps you better understand and love
others. It also gives you the strength to walk away from a relationship if
you're not getting what you want or deserve.
Openness to try new things: When you believe in yourself, you're more
willing to try new things. Whether you apply for a promotion or sign up
for a cooking class, putting yourself out there is a lot easier when you
have confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Resilience: Believing in yourself can enhance your resilience or ability to
bounce back from any challenges or adversities you face in life.
Recap
Improving your self-confidence can have a range of positive effects on your
life. In addition to helping you feel better about yourself and your abilities, it
can make your relationships stronger and make you more resilient to stress.
A Word From Verywell
Everyone struggles with confidence issues at one time or another. Fortunately,
there are several things that you can do to help you feel more confident. In

7. many cases, learning how to act confident can actually help you feel more
confident.
Sometimes low self-confidence might be a sign of a mental health condition
such as depression or anxiety. If your self-confidence issues interfere with
your work, social life, or education, consider talking to a mental health
professional. A therapist can help you better understand the problem,
recommend treatments, and work with you to develop skills to build your
confidence.