Reducing homework battles via strengthening executive functioning skills

David.Murphy@effectiveeffortconsulting.com
www.effectiveeffortconsulting.com
@DrDavidMurphy
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Reducing Homework Battles
via Strengthening Executive
Function Skills
in Middle School and Beyond

@DrDavidMurphy
Overview
Self-regulation and executive function
Who’s problem is it?
How to strengthen executive function skills in school and life
1. Parent goals and expectations
2. Activities to build EF skills
3. Foster emotional resilience
4. Consistency in schedules and routines
5. Organization skills
6. Personal accountability
7. Self-monitoring skills – agenda, routines, and grades
8. Working memory skills
Risk factors in tweens and teens
Lost in the iGeneration

@DrDavidMurphy
ADHD / EF Coaching and Consulting for Students and Adults
Executive Function Coaching
ADHD Coaching
Academic Coaching
Life Coaching
College Coaching
Parent Training
holistic and
strength-based approach
to interventions and executive function skill development
Effective Effort Consulting

@DrDavidMurphy
Education
Masters in Special Education
Masters in Special Education Administration
Doctorate in Education
Profession
Special Education Teacher
Special Education Director
ADHD/EF Coach and Educational Consultant
Owner of Effective Effort Consulting, LLC
https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdavidmurphy
Effective Effort Consulting

@DrDavidMurphy

@DrDavidMurphy
Exercise
Child’s name
Future planning
 Picture your child at 25. What kind of person would you like your child to develop
into? What are they doing? College? Career? Where do they live? Who are they
with? What about their future is an extension of the values you are trying to
instill?
Back to NOW
 What are your child’s top 10 strengths?
 What are the top 5 things that you nag about the most?
 What do you fear as it relates to your child?
Age 25

@DrDavidMurphy
EF and SR Skills
Executive functions are specific types of
self-directed actions use to effectively
manage oneself in order to self-regulate
actions/attention/emotion/
thoughts (and problem-solving) toward a
future intention or goals.

@DrDavidMurphy
Executive Functions
Working Memory
The ability to hold information in mind
and use it.
Inhibitory Control
The ability to master thoughts and
impulses so as to resist temptations,
distractions, and habits, and to pause and
think before acting.
Cognitive Flexibility
The capacity to switch gears and adjust
to changing demands, priorities, or
perspectives.

@DrDavidMurphy
Self-regulation
One’s ability to regulate
• Thinking / thoughts
• Emotion / feelings
• Attention / inattention/ focus
• Behavior (initiate vs. stop)
to fit a particular situation and one’s own goals and intentions

@DrDavidMurphy
How to develop EF and self-regulation skills
Begins with repeated practice in
seeing the future
saying the future
feeling the future
playing with the future
so as to effectively “plan and go” towards the future.
Sarah Ward and Kristen Jacobsen Presentation, Russel Barkley, 2012

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Samantha

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Matt
https://youtu.be/8LLm0jJuy8w

@DrDavidMurphy
What’s the Problem?

@DrDavidMurphy
Problem Solving Skills
Who owns the
problem?

@DrDavidMurphy
Parents need to relinquish responsibility.
FIRST. Say….. “It’s not my problem.”
It’s not my
• Schedule (sports, personal, family, etc.)
• Event (SAT, prom, try-outs, Xmas shopping)
• Chore (laundry, dishes, mow lawn, makes lunch, kitchen clean-up)
• School work
• Grades

@DrDavidMurphy
SECOND. Say……….“What’s up? I notice
you are struggling?”
Put your child in the driving seat and hold
them accountable to the problem.
• www.livesinthebalance.org - empathize
/ define / invite
• Whole Brain Child – connect and re-
direct

@DrDavidMurphy
THIRD. Say……….“What’s your plan?”
• “Let’s brainstorm possible options” - Plan A, B, and C
• ‘See’ a picture of what different options can ‘look’ and ‘feel’
like
• Reflect on the day and play out alternative decisions
• Use perspective taking
• Use nightly check-ins – reflect, problem solve, future plan.
• Tackle excuses – “I forgot” / “It’s not my fault” / “I can’t”

@DrDavidMurphy
https://youtu.be/sqGFWW0SYco

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Exercise
 What do I nag about? Is this problem something my
child can be more accountable to own and manage?
 Ask my child what I nag about the most? See if it
matches what’s on your list.

@DrDavidMurphy
Expectations ARE the goals our children work towards
 Family values and rules
 Role of son/daughter, student, and/or athlete
 Expected habits
 Expected responsibilities
 Expected priorities
Set Clear Expectations

@DrDavidMurphy
Parenting Goal: To raise independent and responsible young
adults who overcome challenges and work hard to meet their
own expectations (personal goals) and the expectations within
the roles they play (student, son/daughter, athlete).
Set Clear Expectations

@DrDavidMurphy
“In this family we practice hard work. In this family we practice doing what is necessary. In
this family we are honest and accountable for ourselves and each other. In this family we
give firm handshakes, make eye contact, and always say please and thank you. As children
of this family your job is that of a student. Our expectation of you, as a student, is that you
will study, do 100% of your HW, and maintain honor roll. We, as your parents, expect that
you will always do your best. In this family school comes first, extra curricular activities
come second. As a member of this family we all take an active role in supporting each
other – dishes, chores, breakfast, lunch, dinner. It is your responsibility to meet and
exceed these expectations and all other expectations in your life. If any of you struggle in
your efforts to meet and exceed these expectations, we as your parents are obligated to
provide support in order to help you. Exceeding these expectations will earn you various
privileges provided by us – such as playing a sport, owning a cell phone, use of the car,
socializing with friends and playing video games. These expectations will be typed up,
signed, and posted in the kitchen for all of you to reference if you forget at anytime what
we expect of you.”
Family Expectations

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Family Expectations
https://youtu.be/02VGZUypheE

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What are your expectations?
Exercise
Consider the priorities and expectations that frame your family
values.
 Can you make a list of the top priorities for your children?
 What beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors do you value most in your
family?
 What do you do to role model these behaviors?

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Executive Function Skill Development

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Activities
 Board games – Sequence,
Memory, Chess, Clue,
 Card Games –Rummy, Hearts,
 Brain teasers – crossword puzzle
/ Sudoku / Kanoodle
 Meditation – yoga / martial arts
 Organized sports
 Boy scouts
 Dance classes
 Social skills groups
 After school clubs
Activities to Build EF Skills

@DrDavidMurphy
 CBT
 Self-talk
 Tackling the ANTs
 Language of grit, growth
mindset, resilience
Strategies to Build EF Skills
Angela Duckworth - UPENN – GRIT
Carol Dweck – Stamford U. – Growth mindset and fixed mindset
https://youtu.be/ycO0aY9Z8mk

@DrDavidMurphy
Self-efficacy
refers to an
individual's belief
in their OWN
capacity to
execute behaviors
necessary to
achieve desired
expectations
Build Emotional Strength
Maier, S. F., & Seligman, M. E. P. (2016). Learned helplessness at fifty: Insights from
neuroscience. Psychological Review, 123(4), 349-367.
http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/rev0000033

@DrDavidMurphy
“We are all born with certain skills, but the mindsets we have
toward improving our skills and character ultimately
determine our success in life”
Recommendations
• Give permission to fail
• “In this family, we always find a way!”
• Engage in problem solving
Goodwin, B., & Miller, K.., “Research Says Grit Plus Talent Equals Student Success” Educational Leadership. 71.1
(September 2013)pp. 74-76 (subscription only)
http://7mindsets.com/growth-mindset/
Foster a Grit Mindset

@DrDavidMurphy
Foster a Grit Mindset
Fear not stress and anxiety…embrace
and overcome.
Stop the pacifying and the coddling the
emotional justifications for decision
making.
Help your child frame challenge and
stress as opportunities to be
confronted and overcome.

@DrDavidMurphy
Help develop their striving
instincts and bring out their best.
Find their ‘Tribe’
“Find out what you can do well,
focus on it, and work doubly
hard.” - Charles Schwab
Conative Strengths
Dr. Ned Hallowell, Super Parenting For ADD

@DrDavidMurphy
Focus on their mirror traits – the positive sides of
the negative symptoms associated with deficits.
stubbornness = persistence
impulsiveness = creativity
intrusiveness = eagerness
By developing strengths and recognizing mirror
traits, you avoid the cycle of shame and fear.
Conative Strengths
Dr. Ned Hallowell, Super Parenting For ADD

@DrDavidMurphy
Exercise
 These are 3 of my child’s passions and interests?
 There are 3 weaknesses that I should see as strength?
 These are 2 examples that I need to let my child fail/fall and
learn from their mistakes?
 These are 3 grit statements I can start using?
Conative Strengths

@DrDavidMurphy
Teach Positive Routines
Building episodic memory
What’s my future look and
feel like?
How do I regulate myself
towards that future self?

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Teach Positive Routines
Morning time
Evening time
Study time
Bed time
Free time
Weekends
Clear expectations
and clear routines
help to overcome the
emotional barriers
and support the
initiation process

@DrDavidMurphy
Consistent Morning
Temporal and spatial engagement.
“Who am I as I transition between space and time?”
 Out of bed @__________
 Upstairs process – dress, make bed, brush teeth, clean room
 Downstairs @ __________
 Make breakfast / prepare lunch
 Take medication
 Ready @ _______________
 Use agenda/calendar to review the plan for the day

@DrDavidMurphy
productive time vs. play time vs. screen time
 Study time – consistent start time
 Chore time – meaningful family responsibilities
 Dinner time – natural transition to free time
 Screens turned in one hour before bedtime
 Plan for nightly reflection and problem solving
 Bed time - lights out @ 10:00
Consistent Afternoon

@DrDavidMurphy
Supports
 Self-regulation
 Working memory
 Planning
 Prioritizing
 Temporal awareness
 Spatial awareness
 Independence

@DrDavidMurphy
 Create a consistent start time
 Check agenda – plan, prioritize, check off
 Use proximity control – No work with bedroom
 Remove distractions
 Set parent controls on router or App.
 Create music playlist
 Organize binders everyday
 Delayed gratification - “What do you want to do after?”
• Social time, screen-time, free time, sports
Consistent Study Time

@DrDavidMurphy
1. Positive and active relationship with reading habits
2. Consistent completion of HW
3. Classroom notetaking skills
4. Classroom attentional skills
5. Classroom working memory skills
6. Metacognitive skills - “I don’t understand this
content”
7. Self-advocacy skills
8. Personal accountability to learn the required
material
Developmental Milestones of Study Skills

@DrDavidMurphy
Create boundaries to limit task-switching
 No screens in the bedroom
 Limits to screen access
 Smartphone away
 HW in common area
 Set router controls
 Gaming only on weekends
 Follow the routine
 Pass in screens at 10PM
Task Initiation Skills

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Future Planning Exercise
What are some changes you can make in the home to support your
child’s working memory, inhibition, and self-regulation?
 These are 3-5 changes I can make that build independent skills,
consistency, and self-regulation
 This is my child’s independent HW routine
 This is my child’s morning routine
 This is my child’s screen time agreement
Task Initiation Skills

@DrDavidMurphy
Teach what organization looks and feels like
then reinforce the habit of maintaining an organizational system.
Organization Skills

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Future PlanningExercise
 What can you re-organize within your child’s personal space to help
promote organizational skills?
 What nightly expectations can you and your child agree on to
maintain organizational systems?
 What chores can be established that can teach the maintenance of
organizational systems?
Organization Skills

Self Monitoring Skills
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Routines Agenda Grades
LMS

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Use to self-regulate,
track progress, problem
solve, promote
independence, and earn
privileges

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BEST AGENDA Order out of Chaos
School work
schedule

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Self Monitoring Skills
Exercise
What will you do to help your child monitor their progress?
What’s the weekly plan to check on academic
performance?
Sunday night – Plan for the week. “What’s your schedule
look like for the week”?
When is the nightly HW planner check-ins to review,
problem solve, and plan?

@DrDavidMurphy
Symptoms of low working memory
• Forgetfulness
• Poor note-taking skills
• Meltdowns after school
• Difficulty following through on series of tasks
• Poor problem solving skills
• Poor task planning and initiation
Working Memory

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Working Memory
Support and improve working memory function
• Use school planner
• Extra time for homework
• 8-10 hours of sleep
• Exercise– 30 minutes
• Consistentroutines
• Down time and free play
• Collaborative problem solving
• Self-talk
• Power naps
• Board games, Sudoku, card games

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Working Memory
Future PlanningExercise
• What can I do to support my child’s working
memory deficits?
• What can I implement now that will help
him/her develop working memory skills?

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Questions
Comments
Questions
Reactions
Questions

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https://www.linkedin.com/in/drdavidmurphy
David.murphy@effectiveeffortconsulting.com
Stay Connected

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Risk Factors
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children and adolescents: Clinical
features and diagnosis. Kevin R Krull, PhD. Uptodate. 2018
https://youtu.be/DFaOZ4TSryE

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Risk Factors
Teens with ADHD
 21% of teens with ADHD skip school repeatedly.
 35% of teens with ADHD eventually drop out of school.
 45% of teens with ADHD have been suspended.
 30% of teens with ADHD have failed or had to repeat a year of
school.
Russell Barkley. https://www.additudemag.com/the-statistics-of-adhd/

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Risk Factors
Teens with ADHD
 Teenagers with ADHD have 2 to 4 times as many traffic citations
as their peers without ADHD.
 Teens with ADHD have 4 times as many car wrecks and are 7
times more likely to have a second accident.
 Teenage drivers with ADHD are 6 to 8 times more likely to have
their license suspended or revoked for poor driving behavior.
Russell Barkley. https://www.additudemag.com/the-statistics-of-adhd/

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Risk Factors
A Longitudinal Study of Childhood ADHD and Substance Dependence
Disorders in Early Adulthood found that compared with children without
ADHD, children with ADHD were at increased risk for:
 Ever using nicotine
 Alcohol use disorder
 Ever using marijuana
 Marijuana use disorder
 Cocaine use disorder
 General illicit drug use
*must factor in comorbid conditions of conduct disorder or ODD
Breyer, J. L., Lee, S., Winters, K. C., August, G. J., & Realmuto, G. M. (2014). A
longitudinal study of childhood ADHD and substance dependence disorders
in early adulthood. Psychology of addictive behaviors : journal of the Society
of Psychologists in Addictive Behaviors, 28(1), 238–246.
doi:10.1037/a0035664

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The iGeneration

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Problem Solving Situation
1. Put dirty dishes in dish washer
2. Wash dirty pans
3. Put clean pans away
4. Organize books/papers
5. Wipe down counter
6. Check final product
• What will the
kitchen look like
when it’s clean?
• Tell me the steps
you will take?
• How will you know
it’s clean?

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Future Planning Skills
Sarah Ward and Kristen Jacobsen

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Sarah Ward and Kristen Jacobsen

Reducing homework battles via strengthening executive functioning skills

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