Exasperation is good--the question is when and how fast? Exasperation may be considered as a fundamental, natural and useful and probably productive human response. It’s not just deep in our roots; it is our roots. Those who discard it express with edicts like “don’t get snarky,” or “don’t call names” or “don’t interrupt me.” Though against our will we have proliferated endless repertoire of ways to say “I’ve had it. I won’t go along with that.” Exasperated way to express “nope,” in many words and gestures--subtle or blatant branch like tree roots. Exasperation with things that get in our way is how we stand our ground rooted in our aspirations, commitments, beliefs and values. When our roots get in each other’s way, we’re likely to get exasperated and then exasperated with each other’s exasperations. Then we try to block each other’s exasperations by imposing seemingly rock-solid moral bans on one or another form exasperation takes.

1. Compiled by Col Mukteshwar Prasad(Retd),
MTech(IITD),CE(I),FIE(I),FIETE,FISLE,FInstOD,AMCSI
Contact -9007224278, e-mail –
muktesh_prasad@yahoo.co.in
for book ”Decoding Services Selection Board” and SSB
ON line guidance and training at Shivnandani Edu and
Defence Academy
Exasperation
(The feeling of being annoyed, especially because you can do nothing to solve a
problem)

2. Story-Wouldn't we feel
exasperated?
Ours is a AWHO colony where only serving or retired Army Personnel are the original
allottee with majority being Officer. Construction was done ion two phases spread
over 8 years. It was expected and desired that that only one RWA would look after the
welfare. But due to misunderstanding and ego of few there are two RWA now
within the same complex ,within same boundary and many common facilities. We can
not ask mosquitoes not to travel in this phase but go where they were born.
This trend was certainly not expected from Officers of Armed Forces protecting the
country from external aggression and even internal misadventure. Wisdom of
majority was hijacked by Minority Effect .
One Zomato /Swigy delivery man asked Col X ,if everything was right in the
colony as he saw two Maa Kali Puja being organised .Neither Col X nor any
resident had answer to this simple question as expectations from one and all from
this elite community of disciplined group was and is very high and they do not
expect other than righteousness morally , socially and personally.
RWA itself is expected to be mature ,working with consensus for general benefit
rather than power and chair conscious to show authority and personal whims
and fancies. We can not have officials working like an Adjutant in Army Units and just
keep passing orders.
Imagine the feeling when a Municipality representative and court expect our behaviour
and conduct to be superlative and resolve issues with in frame work of RWA rather

3. Story-Wouldn't we feel
exasperated?
 Contrary to ethos of service you are told “He is not knowing local language “Local
culture as against Army Culture. “Without realising that a large no of occupants are
from out of state. Bulk of the people have retired or are going to retire very soon.
We are all going to “Kasi Ghat “ few years earlier or later. Hence “Ram Naam “ is
important rather than petty Politics and Biases. Why can’t we have a small
mandir/Sarv Dharma Sthal so much needed for aged people?
 Unfortunately there has been many occasion since our journey at Bhaskar Roy
where chair that be and many of us tended to dissipate most of our moral attention
on pretend universal bans on one or all forms of exasperation like
 “Don’t interrupt”
 Snarky(critical or mocking in an indirect or sarcastic way)
 Name-calling,
 Disrespectful,
 Uncaring,
 Eye rolling (the action or gesture of turning the eyes upward as an
expression of annoyance, exasperation, disbelief, etc)
 Impolite
 Examples can be innumerable and we have paid a heavy price by having two
societies.
 I am certainly not casting aspersion to any individual but we as a community
of serving and retired of both phases have to apportion blame for our failure
to live together. We owed allegiance to the chair like Bhisma Pitamah and
continue to do so .
 Those who did not hold appointment are more responsible for not bringing

4. Just a thought-Reduce our Exasperation
What has to happen has happened though legally correct as date of
completion of project was different but would remain a sore thought
and feeling and would morally and ethically incorrect.
Once we have taken a decision to move on, then best that can be done is to
learn to co-exist and supplement each other for better and comfortable
existence with cooperation living with our cherished value for each
other as a community to reduce the intensity of exasperation.
Simple thought of one campus with common integrated social
festivity(Club being common),common front to outside world as a
single unit for interaction with Govt/municipality , common service
philosophy of service management (Security , Aya) and even
empanelling or black listing of contractors/service providers. List can
be enormous with in existing constraints and ground realities.
Pray to the wisdom of all our revered members .
 High exasper-rate can be contagious and exhilarating. We can
exasperate together for a satisfying pastime and noble cause for a
virtuous crusade of living together (Both Phase 1 and 2) happily as one
family despite our separate identity
 We should concentrate most of our moral attention on tuning our
exasperations carefully to brighten our circumstances and
environment
When we let go of our attachment to our position and get
interested in the other person’s point-of-view—maybe even

5. Introduction-Exasperation as Roots
 Exasperation is good--the question is when and how fast?
 Exasperation may be considered as a fundamental, natural and useful
and probably productive human response.
 It’s not just deep in our roots; it is our roots.
 Those who discard it express with edicts like “don’t get snarky,” or “don’t
call names” or “don’t interrupt me.”
 Though against our will we have proliferated endless repertoire of ways
to say “I’ve had it. I won’t go along with that.”
 Exasperated way to express “nope,” in many words and gestures--
subtle or blatant branch like tree roots.
 Exasperation with things that get in our way is how we stand our ground
rooted in our aspirations, commitments, beliefs and values.
 When our roots get in each other’s way, we’re likely to get
exasperated and then exasperated with each other’s
exasperations.
 Then we try to block each other’s exasperations by imposing seemingly
rock-solid moral bans on one or another form exasperation takes.

6. Introduction-Exasperation as Roots....
 And like roots around rocks, our exasperations find work-
arounds :
 Don’t call names.
Fine I’ll just think them about your exasperating behavior.
 Don’t interrupt.
Fine I’ll look impatient and long suffering while you rant
exasperatingly.
 Don’t roll your eyes.
Fine, I’ll pinch my lips exasperatedly
 Don’t say “whatever” in that snarky tone.
Fine I’ll grumble, “Fine” a hair above just below your radar.
 Questions to be asked are
 Not whether to ever get exasperated, but when?
 Under what circumstances?
 How fast?

7. High Exasper –Rate People
 High Exasper –Rate People
 Some people leap from receptive to exasperation fast on slightest obstacle
and tend to stay
 Cause may be
 Physical problem like back pain, or temperament, psoriasis,
 Lust to put people down
 Unconscious self-doubt, vulnerability, something to hide.
 Living under broad-brush oppression-
 Roots of self-assertion blocked at every turn
 High exasper-rate can be contagious and exhilarating.
 They say “I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it any more!” And you
say “Yeah, come to think of it, he’s right.”
 Then two can be exasperate together which can become a
 Satisfying pastime,
 Cliquish lifestyle, or in some cases,
 Virtuous crusade or
 Apocalyptic mob.

8. High Exasper –Rate People
 High Exasper –Rate People...
 In certain circumstances high exasper rate may force people to take up
arms to overthrow or even kill as in Egypt
 All forms of exasperation have their place and we should concentrate
most of our moral attention on tuning our exasperations carefully to
circumstances.
 Unfortunately, and exasperatingly we tend to dissipate most of our
moral attention on pretend universal bans on one or all forms of
exasperation.

9. List to eradicate exasperations
 Some list to eradicate exasperations are
 “Don’t interrupt”- There are times when we want and request the space
to talk extendedly.
 We are snapped in a high-minded exasperated tone “Don’t interrupt” as
if to say, “There is a universal moral code banning interruption. The
fact that you interrupt is further and conclusive evidence that you
are immoral.”
 Creativity requires these interruptions
 We have used this extensively in our society to outsmart some one
or to gain favour or to create “In Group”
 Don’t be snarky(critical or mocking in an indirect or sarcastic way)-
Prevelent
 Name-calling, -Yes
 Disrespectful-Quite Often
 Uncaring,
 Eye rolling (the action or gesture of turning the eyes upward as an
expression of annoyance, exasperation, disbelief, etc)
 Impolite –Very Often

10. Conclusion
 Exasperation will finds expression however hard we try to
eradicate it
 We can not afford to exasperate any time we want but
 ‘We should all get off our high horses long
enough to pay attention to what gets us on them,
and what should get us on them--how fast we
mount and dismount them.”
 Let us pay attention to your exasper-rate not
because you want it to approach zero, but because
you want to feel wronged by the right things, not
the wrong ones