How to Have a Happy Start in Motherhood

How to Have a Happy
Start in Motherhood 
for First Time Moms-to-be 
by Coach Ahu 

www.MotherhoodGamePlan.com 
www.CoachAhu.com 
Facebook / coachahu 
Twi;er / coachahu

• The first few months in motherhood are the most
demanding ones.

• Trying to manage daily life while recovering from
childbirth and meeting the needs of a newborn is not
easy.

• Most new mothers get disappointed because life after
the birth of their baby is usually very different from how
they dreamed about it while they were pregnant.

© 2012 Copyright - Coach Ahu
CoachAhu.com - MotherhoodGamePlan.com - HappyMotherHappyChild.com

The good news is this won’t happen to you if
you remember that the number one secret to
having a great start in motherhood is being
prepared, not only physically but also
mentally and emotionally, for your new life
after the birth of your baby.


When you know what to expect, you can
plan how you’ll effectively manage things
and you’ll enjoy these most special first
few months with your baby to the full.


• There are 20 crucial topics you need to
be aware of when you are preparing to be a
first time mother.

• Working on each, slowly and steadily, will
bring you closer and closer to a great start
in motherhood.


1 – Fresh Start
• Raising a child, by its demanding nature, will bring out
the best and worst in you. If you have any past or
current unresolved issues that are preventing you from
having inner peace and contentment, this can impact
how you parent your child.

• Use your pregnancy to motivate yourself to work on
eliminating any negativity from your life, so you can
prepare for a fresh start with your baby.


2 – Self-confidence
• In the many ups and downs of your motherhood
journey, one thing that will help you to keep it together
and make the best possible decisions, is self-
confidence.
• Being a confident person starts with knowing who you
are by being very clear on your personal values,
strengths, and natural abilities, and by embracing past
and current achievements.
• Working on building up your self-confidence while you
are expecting, will serve you very well as a new mother.


3 – Peaceful Life
• If you are used to feeling in control and organized, you
might be frustrated when your orderly lifestyle flies out
the window after you give birth.

• Even though a certain degree of chaos is inevitable,
there are many things you can do to minimize it such as:
simplifying your life before the birth of your baby; saying
“no” to obligations and occasions that are not a priority;
and learning to stop pressuring yourself with perfection
by making your peace with being good enough.


4 – Support System
• After you have your baby, the most difficult thing for you
to find will be time. Time for sleeping, resting, eating,
personal care, hobbies, romance, running errands,
housework, socializing, and so on.

• Feeling that you never have enough time can lead to
you resenting motherhood, rather than enjoying it.

• Work out who you can rely on to give you support in
your first few months with your baby.


5 – Planning Your Finances

• A tiny new baby can mean big changes and major
expenses for new parents, so it’s best to be prepared
financially.

• Start thinking about this early on in your pregnancy,
because it will have an impact on whether you will need
to work or not, and on how much you can allocate for a
solid support system, as well as for the other expenses
for baby.


6 – Returning to Work After Baby

• If you are planning to return to work after your baby is
born, there are a few things you can do to have a
smoother transition, such as finding out about your
maternity-leave benefits and clarifying with your employer
your options of working flexible hours, telecommuting or
working part time.
• If you are self-employed, you will benefit from working on
a plan that will accommodate your new life in the first few
months with your baby.


7 – Relationship After Baby

• Having a baby is a life-changing event, and your
relationship with your partner may change after the birth,
due to lifestyle adjustments, role changes, and the
responsibility of baby care.

• It’ll be a huge help to figure out in advance how to divide
work, childcare, and household duties and how to
balance having time with the baby, time as a couple, and
time alone.


8 – Emotional Support

• New mothers usually feel mixed emotions as they adjust
to a new lifestyle, due to hormonal changes, sleep
deprivation, and just being overwhelmed.

• The most effective way to manage any mood swings is
to make sure you have people in your life who will be
available for emotional support, especially for the first few
months of motherhood.


9 – “Me Time” for Mommy

• When you are a new mother, it’s so easy to get caught
up in the never-ending demands of baby care … but you’ll
be better able to meet those demands if you consciously
plan for your “Me Time” and make it a priority.

• Balancing your own needs with motherhood will be the
most important new skill you develop. Making time to take
good care of yourself is your biggest gift to yourself, your
baby, and your partner.


10 – Embracing Your New Body
• Pregnancy is the biggest change in a woman’s body since
puberty, and many women do not anticipate how having a
child will affect their bodies. They are surprised to find that
their body does not immediately go back its pre-pregnancy
shape (as seems to happen with celebrity new mothers)
and they end up being disappointed.
• Prepare yourself emotionally by having realistic
expectations of how your body will be after birth and keep
reminding yourself all the ways in which it supports you in
your life.


11 – Combining Instincts with Parenting Skills

• Motherhood, while viewed as instinctive by society, does
not come naturally much of the time.
• You may face feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt as
you figure out by trial and error how to take care of your
baby—and as you begin to realize that your instincts don’t
have all the answers.
• If that happens to you, don’t panic. Just know that
mothering is mostly a learned skill and not only instinctive.
Effective parenting comes from using instincts together with
learned parenting skills.


12 – Basic Baby Care
• There are many new skills to learn when taking care of a newborn:
breast-feeding, bottle feeding, burping, changing diapers,
swaddling, bathing, dressing, and holding the baby.
• Many parents-to-be wait to learn these skills until after the birth of
their baby, but trying to adjust to so much at once creates stress,
especially when you are tired and sleep-deprived.
• Educate yourself about these tasks as soon as possible during
your pregnancy by taking courses, reading books, or practicing with
dolls.
• This will make you feel prepared, give you relief and confidence
once your baby is born, and help you to get on with things smoothly.


13 – Creating a Routine
• One thing that most parenting and child-development specialists
agree on is that babies thrive best on a routine.
• There are many different schools of thoughts on how to achieve a
great routine and it can get very confusing when you’re deciding
which path to follow. All options have advantages and
disadvantages, and different methods work for different parents and
babies.
• Start your research ahead of time, about different school of
thoughts and different routine styles. Talk to other parents, finding
out about as many diverse experiences as possible. Then agree
with your partner on a way that feels right to both of you.


14 – Efficient & Happy Feeding Time
• The media presents breast-feeding as natural, easy, and
instinctive. In real life, many new mothers struggle with sore
nipples, not having enough milk or having too much milk,
because they are not properly taught how to feed their
baby.
• It’s important that you educate yourself ahead of time
about what it takes to feed your baby efficiently and
effectively so that she will grow and sleep better, and so
you will look forward these happy feeding times.


15 – Good Sleeping Habits for Baby
• One of the biggest challenges of caring for a newborn is
the change in your sleep patterns. Parents are human too,
and they need sleep in order to function. Not getting
enough sleep day after day will cause accumulated sleep
deprivation, impacting on your relationship with your
partner and on your enjoyment of motherhood.
• Having quality sleep is as important for you as it is
important for your baby’s growth. Therefore, it’s essential
that you educate yourself on how you can help your baby
develop good sleeping habits right from the beginning.


16 – Minimizing Baby’s Crying
• Your baby will cry and you won’t like it. You can educate
yourself in advance about the reasons why babies cry,
other than being hungry (such as over-tiredness, tummy
pain, boredom, not feeling well). Learn how you can
eliminate the reasons for crying, and soothe your baby
when everything else fails.
• Being informed will help you to remain calm and centered
when your baby cries, making you better able to figure out
what’s going on with your baby and soothe her.


17 – Bonding with Your Baby
• Not all mothers bond with their babies instantly. Some
mothers feel an immediate connection with their newborn,
but for others, the bond takes longer to develop.
• Don’t worry or feel guilty if you aren’t overwhelmed with a
rush of love at the beginning. Bonding is a natural
byproduct of everyday care-giving.
• Do your research on what it takes to create a strong bond
between mother and baby. Be informed about why that
bond could be disrupted and what to do to prevent that.


18 – Daddy Bonding with Baby
• For some first time fathers or fathers-to-be, it takes time to
bond with the baby.
• They will need opportunities to spend some private time
with baby and they will need your encouragement and
positive feedback to build up their confidence.
• Discuss some ideas with your partner and create a plan
together of how he can be included in the daily care of the
baby, so that he does not feel left out.


19 – Dealing with Advice
• When you’re expecting your first baby, suddenly everyone
is an expert! One of the biggest challenges facing new
mothers is the nonstop advice from parents, relatives,
friends, and even strangers.
• It is easy to get overwhelmed by these intrusions and react
in a way that could harm your relationships.
• Plan ahead of time how to handle these situations
gracefully if you disagree with the advice of people who are
especially close to you (such as your mother, mother-in-
law, grandmother, or your best friend).


20 – First Week with Baby at Home
• Before your baby’s birth, prepare for making that special
first week calm, peaceful, and fun for you, your partner, and
your precious little one.

• Consider: cleaning the house so you don’t have to worry
about it later on, planning what to eat in the first week,
organizing who will help you with which tasks, making sure
you have the essential necessities for you and your baby.


Don’t leave those preparations to the last minute, as you
never know when your baby will decide to come out.

I go into more depth on each topic in the Free Motherhood
Game Plan Guide that you can download for free on
www.MotherhoodGamePlan.com blog.

Looking forward to seeing you there

Coach Ahu


How to Have a Happy Start in Motherhood

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