assignment

1. Peer​ ​Review​ ​Guidelines:
Please​ ​consider​ ​each​ ​AREA​ ​for​ ​revisions,​ ​looking​ ​at​ ​the​ ​SPECIFIC​ ​tasks​ ​asked​ ​of​ ​you.
Comment​ ​on​ ​where​ ​you​ ​think​ ​the​ ​author​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​address​ ​them.
It​ ​is​ ​helpful​ ​​to​ ​create​ ​a​ ​numbered​ ​list​ ​for​ ​the​ ​sections​ ​below,​ ​and​ ​write​ ​down​ ​(quote)​ ​examples
for​ ​each​ ​question,​ ​referencing​ ​​where​ ​​it​ ​is​ ​in​ ​each​ ​paper​ ​(i.e.​ ​“In​ ​the​ ​third​ ​paragraph​ ​on​ ​the​ ​second
page…”.​ ​Feel​ ​free​ ​to​ ​mark​ ​on​ ​your​ ​partner’s​ ​page​ ​if​ ​you’re​ ​meeting​ ​in​ ​person,​ ​but​ ​type​ ​up​ ​your
answers​ ​to​ ​send​ ​to​ ​me.
1.​ ​Word​ ​choice
Style:​ ​This​ ​paper​ ​should​ ​try​ ​to​ ​find​ ​a​ ​style​ ​that​ ​sounds​ ​naturally​ ​like​ ​the​ ​author,​ ​but​ ​is​ ​also
more​ ​formal​ ​than,​ ​say,​ ​a​ ​blog​ ​post.​ ​One​ ​extreme​ ​to​ ​avoid​ ​is:​ ​​high​ ​stylization​,​ ​or
super-academic​​ ​sounding​ ​language.​ ​Often,​ ​this​ ​sounds​ ​like​ ​someone​ ​reaching​ ​for​ ​formal​ ​or
technical​ ​phrases​ ​that​ ​a)​ ​don’t​ ​sound​ ​like​ ​their​ ​voice,​ ​and​ ​b)​ ​are​ ​often​ ​used​ ​incorrectly,​ ​or​ ​can
throw​ ​readers​ ​off.​ ​Point​ ​out​ ​anywhere​ ​you​ ​see​ ​this.
The​ ​second​ ​extreme​ ​to​ ​avoid​ ​is​ ​being​ ​​too​​ ​​casual​,​ ​like​ ​addressing​ ​the​ ​reader​ ​as​ ​you​ ​would
in​ ​conversation,​ ​like,​ ​“You​ ​know,”​ ​“Don’t​ ​get​ ​me​ ​wrong,”​ ​“Now​ ​I’m​ ​not​ ​saying,”​ ​etc.​ ​Say​ ​what
you​ ​need​ ​to​ ​say​ ​-​ ​don’t​ ​sidestep​ ​into​ ​it.​ ​Point​ ​out​ ​areas​ ​where​ ​this​ ​seems​ ​to​ ​happen.
2.​ ​Visualization​:
Concrete​ ​details​ ​are​ ​GREAT!​ ​Where​ ​is​ ​the​ ​writer​ ​doing​ ​well​ ​at​ ​describing​ ​what
something​ ​​looks​​ ​like,​ ​felt​ ​like,​ ​or​ ​sounded?​ ​Where​ ​can​ ​they​ ​do​ ​this​ ​more?​ ​This​ ​NEEDS​ ​to
happen​ ​in​ ​a​ ​specific​ ​place,​ ​which​ ​leads​ ​right​ ​into…
3.​ ​TWO​ ​Forms​ ​of​ ​a​ ​Medium
In​ ​many​ ​papers,​ ​I​ ​only​ ​see​ ​ONE​ ​specific​ ​example​ ​of​ ​the​ ​“message”​ ​being​ ​communicated
-​ ​there​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​be​ ​TWO!​ ​There​ ​​should​ ​​be​ ​two​ ​different​ ​​types​​ ​of​ ​forms​ ​the​ ​message​ ​takes:​ ​i.e.
verbal,​ ​print,​ ​digital,​ ​visual​ ​(video​ ​-​ ​a​ ​photo​ ​would​ ​be​ ​print).​ ​Often​ ​times,​ ​I​ ​see​ ​the​ ​medium
mentioned​,​ ​but​ ​it​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​be​ ​​described​.​ ​This​ ​is​ ​where​ ​concrete​ ​details​ ​come​ ​in​ ​-​ ​I​ ​want​ ​to​ ​know
what​ ​the​ ​medium​ ​looked​ ​like,​ ​sounded​ ​like,​ ​what​ ​kind​ ​of​ ​paper/​ ​screen/​ ​object​ ​it​ ​was​ ​on,​ ​what
the​ ​colors​ ​were,​ ​how​ ​someone​ ​talked,​ ​stood,​ ​interacted,​ ​their​ ​attitude.​ ​​**​This​ ​is​ ​the​ ​most
important​ ​thing​ ​I’m​ ​looking​ ​for:​ ​​ ​​DESCRIBE​ ​WHAT​ ​THE​ ​MESSAGE​ ​ACTUALLY​ ​APPEARS
ON​**​​ ​and​ ​how​ ​that​ ​affects​ ​the​ ​meaning.​ ​Point​ ​out​ ​(or​ ​ask)​ ​where​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​do​ ​this.
4.​ ​Cliches:
Don’t​ ​do​ ​them.​ ​They’re​ ​boring,​ ​and​ ​they​ ​don’t​ ​mean​ ​anything​ ​​new​.​ ​If​ ​it’s​ ​in​ ​a​ ​pop​ ​song,
don’t​ ​put​ ​it​ ​in​ ​your​ ​paper​ ​(unless​ ​one​ ​of​ ​your​ ​mediums​ ​is​ ​a​ ​pop​ ​song).​ ​Try​ ​to​ ​find​ ​a​ ​fresh​ ​way​ ​to
say​ ​it,​ ​a​ ​way​ ​that​ ​relates​ ​to​ ​your​ ​experience​ ​uniquely.​ ​As​ ​far​ ​as​ ​the​ ​“message”​ ​itself​ ​-​ ​a​ ​lot​ ​of

2. these​ ​can​ ​sound​ ​like​ ​cliches,​ ​if​ ​they​ ​are​ ​ideas​ ​that​ ​are​ ​fairly​ ​common.​ ​Try​ ​to​ ​relate​ ​it​ ​to​ ​YOU:
instead​ ​of​ ​saying​ ​“The​ ​only​ ​way​ ​to​ ​succeed​ ​is​ ​to​ ​work​ ​hard,”​ ​say​ ​“The​ ​only​ ​way​ ​​I​ ​​can​ ​succeed​ ​is
to​ ​work​ ​hard.”​ ​Point​ ​out​ ​where​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​is​ ​doing​ ​this.
5.​ ​A​ ​Moment​ ​of​ ​Tension
One​ ​of​ ​the​ ​prompting​ ​questions​ ​was,​ ​what​ ​was​ ​it​ ​like​ ​when​ ​“your”​ ​message​ ​came​ ​head​ ​to
head​ ​with​ ​another​ ​message?​ ​Show​ ​an​ ​EXAMPLE​ ​of​ ​this.​ ​I​ ​see​ ​people​ ​say​ ​things​ ​like​ ​“I​ ​used​ ​to
worry​ ​about​ ​other​ ​people​ ​thought,​ ​and​ ​now​ ​I​ ​don’t.”​ ​Instead,​ ​SHOW​ ​a​ ​time​ ​when​ ​someone
expressed​ ​an​ ​opinion​ ​about​ ​you​ ​they​ ​wanted​ ​you​ ​to​ ​react​ ​to​ ​-​ ​how​ ​did​ ​you​ ​react?​ ​Point​ ​out
suggestions​ ​for​ ​where​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​could​ ​do​ ​this​ ​-​ ​or,​ ​do​ ​they​ ​need​ ​a​ ​moment​ ​of​ ​tension​ ​in​ ​the
first​ ​place?
6.​ ​Hanging​ ​Quotes
“Hanging​ ​quotes”​ ​are​ ​what​ ​it’s​ ​called​ ​when​ ​there​ ​is​ ​just​ ​a​ ​quote​ ​dropped​ ​in​ ​without​ ​any
introduction,​ ​explanation,​ ​or​ ​connection​ ​by​ ​the​ ​writer.​ ​The​ ​quote​ ​is​ ​all​ ​alone​ ​there​ ​on​ ​the​ ​page.
Even​ ​if​ ​you​ ​are​ ​quoting​ ​something​ ​that​ ​​seems​​ ​obvious,​ ​you​ ​as​ ​the​ ​WRITER​ ​need​ ​to​ ​make​ ​it
connected​ ​to​ ​your​ ​own​ ​sentence.​ ​Before​ ​or​ ​after​ ​listing​ ​the​ ​quote​ ​(in​ ​the​ ​same​ ​sentence)​ ​tell​ ​who
it​ ​is​ ​by​ ​or​ ​where​ ​you​ ​got​ ​it​ ​from.​ ​In​ ​a​ ​separate​ ​sentence,​ ​make​ ​an​ ​​interpretation​,​ ​or​ ​explain​ ​why
you​ ​used​ ​it.​ ​Point​ ​out​ ​areas​ ​where​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​do​ ​this.
7.​ ​FORMAT:
Should​ ​be​ ​12​ ​pt​ ​font,​ ​Times​ ​New​ ​Roman,​ ​double-spaced,​ ​one-inch​ ​margin​ ​on​ ​all​ ​sides.
There​ ​should​ ​be​ ​no​ ​extra​ ​space​ ​after​ ​paragraphs.​ ​Is​ ​there​ ​a​ ​title?​ ​Is​ ​it​ ​gripping?​ ​For​ ​now,​ ​the
paper​ ​at​ ​least​ ​needs​ ​the​ ​student’s​ ​name​ ​and​ ​my​ ​name​ ​on​ ​it​ ​somewhere,​ ​along​ ​with​ ​page​ ​numbers.
Does​ ​it​ ​meet​ ​the​ ​length​ ​requirement​ ​of​ ​2.5​ ​pages?​ ​Is​ ​it​ ​no​ ​longer​ ​than​ ​4?​ ​If​ ​the​ ​paper​ ​is​ ​not​ ​in
these​ ​parameters,​ ​can​ ​you​ ​point​ ​out​ ​an​ ​area​ ​you’d​ ​like​ ​more​ ​information​ ​if​ ​it​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​be​ ​longer?
If​ ​it​ ​needs​ ​to​ ​be​ ​shorter,​ ​is​ ​there​ ​a​ ​section​ ​that​ ​doesn’t​ ​seem​ ​as​ ​important,​ ​or​ ​is​ ​repetitive?
Thanks,​ ​all!​ ​Remember,​ ​each​ ​revision​ ​you​ ​make​ ​for​ ​your​ ​partner​ ​and​ ​vice​ ​versa​ ​is​ ​​suggestive​ ​​-
you​ ​don’t​ ​have​ ​to​ ​do​ ​it.
TURN​ ​IN​​ ​your​ ​typed-up​ ​answers​ ​on​ ​BbLearn,​ ​under​ ​the​ ​“Peer​ ​Reviews”​ ​section​ ​below​ ​Essay​ ​1.
Due​ ​by​ ​midnight​ ​Wednesday.