Here are some tell-tale signs of grief and tips for helping those dealing with grief, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance.

1. Family Caregiving and
Anticipatory Grief
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2. In the waning stages of a loved one’s life, it can be a very difficult
situation for everyone, including the family caregiver.
• The anticipation of a death of a loved one is often as traumatic as the
actual passing.
• These are sometimes life-changing experiences.
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3. If you are the primary caregiver of someone you love, the experience
can affect every aspect of your life for days, months or forever.
• It is natural to grieve the death of a loved one before, during and after
the actual time of their passing.
• The ability to deal with this devastating fact is what grieving is all about.
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4. If someone has had a prolonged illness or serious memory impairment,
family members may begin grieving the loss of the person’s “former
self” long before the time of death.
• This is sometimes referred to as “anticipatory grief.”
• Anticipating the loss can be just as painful as losing a life.
• Experiencing guilt or shame for “wishing it were over” or seeing a loved
one as already “gone” intellectually is normal.
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5. Here are some tell-tale signs of grief and tips for helping those dealing
with grief, according to the Family Caregiver Alliance.
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6. Symptoms of grief - Physical
• These include low energy or exhaustion along with headaches or an
upset stomach.
• Some caregivers may sleep more than usual, while others may push
themselves to extremes at work.
• These activities may make you more prone to illness.
• It is important to take care of yourself by maintaining a proper diet,
exercise and rest.
• Taking care of your body can help your overall health.
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7. Symptoms of grief - Emotional
• These can include memory gaps, preoccupation, irritability, depression,
euphoria, wailing rages and passive resignation.
• Some caregivers identify strongly with their loved one and his or her
feelings.
• It is important not to judge yourself too harshly as you experience
conflicting and overwhelming emotions.
• A trained counselor, support group or trusted friend can help you sort
through feelings such as anxiety, loss, anger, guilt and sadness.
• If depression or anxiety persist, a doctor or psychiatrist may prescribe
antidepressant drugs to help alleviate feelings of hopelessness.
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8. Symptoms of grief - Spirituality
• You may feel closer to God and more religious than ever before.
• Conversely, many caregivers dealing with their loved one’s impending
passing are outraged with God.
• You may even feel cut off from your soul altogether, a temporary
paralysis of the spirit.
• A member of the clergy or spiritual advisor can help you examine the
feelings you are experiencing.
• Learning to deal with anticipatory grief or any kind of grief is taking back
your life.
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9. Tips for helping a bereaved caregiver
Be available.
Listen without giving advice.
Do not offer stories of your own.
Allow the grieving person to use expressions of anger or bitterness,
including such expressions against God.
Realize that no one can replace or undo the loved one’s impending
passing. Allow him or her to feel the pain.
Be patient, kind and understanding without being patronizing.
Don’t force the caregiver to share feelings if he or she doesn’t feel
comfortable doing so.
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10. Tips for helping a bereaved caregiver
Physical and emotional touches can bring great comfort to the grieving
caregiver. A hug or touch of the hand are appropriate gestures.
Be there later, when friends and family have all gone back to their
routines.
Remember holidays, birthdays and anniversaries which have important
meaning for the caregiver. Offer support during this time.
Don’t be afraid of reminding the caregiver of the loss. It is already on his
or her mind.
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