Presentation on the book "Born to Win" - Muriel James & Dorothy Jongeward the presentation starts with the concepts of winner & losers, explain various concepts of TA. The focus is to make an individual "A Winner"

1. BORN TO WIN -
Transactional
Analysis With
Gestalt
Experiments
Archana
PJM,WABCO

2. About Authors
Muriel James
James is a psychotherapist, with a doctorate from the University of
California, Berkeley, where she taught for many years on the
extension faculty staff. While in California she became a student of
Eric Berne, founder of transactional analysis. She is also a licensed
marriage and family counselor, a speaker and trainer in transactional
analysis, and is a past president of the Transactional Analysis
Association.
Among her seventeen books are Its Never Too Late To Be Happy:
The Psychology of Self-Parenting, Hearts on Fire: Romance and
Achievement in the Lives of Great Women, and The OK Boss.
Dorothy Jongeward
Jongeward, who died in 2012 aged 86, was a teacher, marriage and
family counsellor, and management adviser specializing in
organizational behavior. She worked at the University of California,
Berkeley, and was active in transactional analysis circles.
Other books include Everybody Wins: Transactional Analysis Applied
to Organizations, and with Muriel James Winning Ways in Health
Care and Winning With People: Group Exercises in Transactional
Analysis.

3. Subjects of Interest
 Winner and Losers
 Strokes
 Scripts
 Roles in Life Dramas
 Stamps
 Overview of TA
 Parent Ego state
 Adult Ego state
 Child Ego state
 Ego State Boundaries – Lax, Rigid, Contamination,
Exclusion and Boundary lesions
 Strengthening your Adult ego

4. Winner
Who is a Winner ?
 Not just an Achiever
 An “Authentic” Person, who experiences self-reality by knowing,
being and becoming a credible, responsive person.
 They discard of unrealistic self-images of Superiority or Inferiority.
A Winner works to make the world a better place.
If You’re your “Authentic self”, You have No Competition

5. Losers
Who is a Loser ?
 A person who avoids taking responsibility for his own life
 A Loser seldom lives in the present, Instead he focuses on past
memories or future expectations
 Unable to bring the full potential of their senses to the immediate
situation. There ability to deal effectively with the real world is
hampered
Losers do not lack knowledge or Strength, they Lack the will

6. Strokes
A stroke is defined as a unit of recognition. (Berne 1971)
“A stroke is a unit of attention which provides stimulation to an
individual”. (Woollams and Brown: Transactional Analysis
1978)

7. Need for Stroke
Stimulus
Hunger
Recognition
Hunger
People ‘hunger’ for recognition and touch

8. Types of Stroke
Conditional
Unconditional
Positive – “You’ve made a fantastic
presentation!”
Negative – “That was the worst report I ever
read.”
Positive – “You’re a nice guy!”
Negative – “I’ve never seen anyone as
arrogant as you.”
Seek out ways to give more unconditional positive responses.
Listen carefully to positive strokes from others.

9. Strokes
“Warm fuzzies” “Cold pricklies”
Positive Strokes -
Indicate “You are okay, I am
okay” Position
Negative Strokes –
Indicate “You are not okay”
Position
Recognition | Attention | Responsiveness

10. Power of Scripts
“I am destined for glory” “Women don’t
deserve to live”
Scripts
An unconscious writing
in our mind, as to how
life shall be lived

11. Cultural Scripts
Accepted and expected dramatic patterns within a
society
Sub-cultural Scripts
Exist incase of complex cultures and are often
defined by geographic location
Family Scripts
Identifiable traditions or expectations, successfully
transmitted generation to generation
Rajputs are
expected to
be
Courageous
Scripts with a Curse
Destructive injunctions from parents to children
Life Scripts

12. How Scripts Shape Life
Oprah had a troubled childhood. In fact,
her mom abandoned her. she survived not
only a brutal rape at the age of nine, but
constant episodes of sexual molestation
between the ages of 10 and 14, as well as
a series of physical abuse.
But, her grandma told her that she was
‘gifted’ and destined for better things in life.
This message stayed with her through her
life.

13. Roles in Life Dramas
Persecutor – He is someone who puts other people down
and belittles them. The persecutor views others as being one
down and not ok.
Rescuer – He sees others as being not OK and one down.
But the rescuer responds by offering help from a one up
position.
Victim – He is himself one down and not OK. Sometimes, the
victim will seek a persecutor to put him down and push him
around or the victim may be in search of a rescuer who will
offer help and confirm the victim’s belief “I can’t cope on my
own”.

14. Example:
Son (Persecutor) : You know I hate
blue. Here you went and bought me
another blue shirt – Yells angrily at
mother
Mother (Victim): I never do anything
right as far as you’re concerned.
Father (Rescuer): Don’t you dare yell at
your mother like that, young man. Got
to your room and no dinner!
Son (Victim): They tell me to be honest
and when I tell them what I don’t like,
they put me down. How can you satisfy
people like that ? – Sulking in his room
Mother (Rescuer): Now don’t tell your
father. We should get s0 upset over a
shirt - Sneaks him a tray of food.

15. Stamps
 The particular feelings a child ego state collects are called “Trading
Grey Stamps
• Feelings of inadequacy are collected
Blue Stamps
• Feelings of depression are collected
Red Stamps
• Feelings of anger are collected
White Stamps
• Feelings of purity are collected
Gold Stamps
• Feelings of self-appreciation are collected
Stamps”
 People make collection of archaic feelings and then cash in for a
psychological prize

16. NP
CP
A
AC
LP
NC
Acting, thinking, feeling like your
parent
Dealing with current realities,
gathering facts, objectivity
Acting or feeling like u did when u
were child
Ego States

17. Parent Ego State
P
Vocabulary:
 Should, don’t, must,
always, never, now
what? Because I said
so
 I’ll take care of you,
poor thing, there-there,
come on, give it a try
Tone:
 Sneering, loud, harsh,
contemptuous,
condescending,
punishing,
 sympathetic,
encouraging
Gesture/Posture:
 Pointed finger,
 shaking head,
 arms folded on chest,
tapping feet/fingers,
Facial Expression:
 smile encouragingly,
 set jaw,
 outthrust chin,
 raised eyebrows

18. Adult Ego State
A
Vocabulary:
 how, why, when,
where, what,
 alternatives, results,
yes, no, caused by,
statistics, facts not
opinions.
Tone:
clear & calm, confident,
factual,
enquiring.
Gesture/Posture:
 straight (not stiff),
 lean forward to
listen/look,
 relaxed, thinking with
hand on chin,
 patient.
Facial Expression:
 thoughtful, watching
attentively,
 questioning, alert,
lively

19. Child Ego State
Vocabulary:
 Wow,
 give me what I want,
 MINE,
 I wish,
 I’m scared, help,
Tone:
 giggle, chuckle, whine,
swear, yell,
 fast & high-pitched,
whistle, playful,
 ask permission.
Gesture/Posture:
 slumped,
 curled up,
 putting up hand to ask
question
Facial Expression:
 tears, pouting,
downcast or uplifted
 eyes, tilted head,
wide-eyed, fluttering
 eyelashes, flirtatious,
admiring
C

20. Ego State Boundaries
 It is useful to think of each ego state
as having boundaries.
 Berne suggests that ego boundaries
can be thought of as semi
permeable membranes through
which psychic energy can flow from
one ego state to another.
 Ego boundaries must be semi
permeable otherwise psychic energy
would be bound up in one ego state
and unable to move about
spontaneously as situations change.
 The person whose free energy
moves rapidly may be exciting and
stimulating but others may have
difficulty keeping with this fast
moving pace.

21. Ego State Boundaries
 The one whose energy moves more
slowly is the person who is slow to
start and slow to stop activities and
others may become impatient.
 The physiology of the ego state
boundaries is not yet understood, but
the assumption that they exist is
made by observing specific kinds of
behavior defects.
 Some people continually act in
unpredictable ways and others are
so predictable they seem
monotonous.
 These disorders are caused by ego
state boundaries which are too lax
or tight, have lesions or overlap.

22. Lax Ego Boundaries
 A person with lax ego boundaries doesn’t
close the doors between ego states, but
appears to lack identity and gives the
impression of slipshod behavior.
 The psychic energy slips continuously
from one ego state to another in
response to very minor stimuli.
 This person may have great difficulty
functioning in the real world and be in
serious need of professional help.
 “You will never know what is going on
with him/her or what he/she is going to
do next”. Their behavior is unpredictable
and often irrational
P
A
0
C

23. Rigid Ego Boundaries
 Rigid ego boundaries do not
permit the free movement of
psychic energy.
 It is as though a thick wall
holds the psychic energy
bound up in one ego state,
excluding the other two.
 The behavior of persons
with this problem appears
rigid because they tend to
respond to most stimuli with
only one of their ego states.
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
Constant
Parent
Constant
Adult
Constant
Child

24. Rigid Ego Boundaries
Constant Parent
• A person with
constant parent
will deal with the
world solely by
accessing set of
parental rules
• One type of
constant parent
is hardworking
and has a
strong sense of
duty.
• Another type of
constant parent
is the perpetual
nurturer or
rescuer
Constant Adult
• He is unable to
join in the fun,
functions almost
solely as a
planner,
information
collector and
data processor.
• They may seek
jobs that are
object oriented
rather than
people oriented.
• Constant Adult
often
experiences
trouble on a job
if supervising
others is
required.
Constant Child
• The person who
operates
primarily as
Constant Child
is the one who
is the perpetual
little boy or girl
who, like Peter
Pan, doesn’t
want to grow up.
• People who act
from their
Constant Child
don’t think for
themselves,
make their own
decisions or
take
responsibility for
their own
behavior.

25. Contamination of Adult
 The clear thinking of the
Adult is often spoiled by
contamination.
 Contamination can be
thought of as an
intrusion of the Parent
ego sate and / or the
Child ego state into the
boundary of the Adult
ego state.
 Contamination occurs
when the Adult accepts
as true some
unfounded Parent
beliefs or Child
distortions and
rationalizes and justifies
these attitudes.
P
A
0
C
P
A
0
C
Parent
Contamin
ation
Child
Contamin
ation
P
A
0
C
Double
Contamin
ation

26. Contamination of Adult
Parent Contamination
• Parental slogans
are mistaken for
adult reality
• Parental
contaminations
often involve
considerable
emotions and are
likely to occur in
relation to specific
subjects such as
food, religion,
politics, race, class
and sex.
• At times, large
segments of
society agree with
prejudiced ideas.
• Contaminations
often intrudes on
the laws of society.
Double Contamination
• It occurs when the
person replays a
parental slogan,
agrees to it with a
child belief, and
mistakes both of
these for reality.
Child Contamination
• Adult thinking is
clouded by beliefs
from childhood
• One form of child
contamination is
the delusion of
grandeur. A person
may believe that
she or he is savior
of the world or the
ruler of the world.
• Another form is
feeling persecuted
– being poisoned,
spied upon or
plotted against.
• Adult with child
contamination has
distorted
perceptions of
realities.

27. Exclusion
 A person with exclusion, will shut down one or more of his ego
states
 The person suffering from Parent, Adult or Child exclusion will be
confronted with behavioral problems.
P
A
C
P
A
C
P
A
C
Operate with no
readymade rules about
the world
Eg. Mafia
Completely cut-off from
reality
Eg. Psychotic patients
Cannot express
feelings, all brain
Eg. Cold aloof person

28. Boundary Lesions
 A person with ego boundary lesions
is one who exhibits uncontrollable
behavior when “sore points” are
touched.
 This person’s psyche has been
seriously injured by one traumatic
event or by a series of unhappy
experiences during childhood.
 When something rubs the sore
spot, the injury may break open
with an outpouring of strong,
irrational emotion.
 If ego boundary lesions interferes
with adequate functioning,
professional help is needed

29. Strengthening your Adult Ego
 Need to ensure that Adult ego state is
controlling the other ego states.
 Need to improve self-awareness, else
most of the stimuli will be responded
either by the Parent or Child ego State
 Pacify your Parent – By doing a little
thing that would please the Parent ego.
 Pleasing the child – Check out the
desires of a child and decide with an
adult on the appropriate action
 Education – Strengthens a persons
ability to gather, organize and evaluate
information that contributes to more
accurate Adult judgements.
 Contract – Commitment to one’s self or
someone else to make a change
 Raising the right Question
A