Breath, Brain & Beyond_A Holistic Approach to Peak Performance.pdf
How to look out for yourself when your relationship goes south. part1
1. I built my whole life around him
I was with him when he had nothing
I was there for him
I fed him
I clothed him
I encouraged him
I prayed for him
But what did he do;
He became rich
He slept with her severally
2. He loved her
He asked for a divorce
He got married in three weeks
He bought her a Porsche
He gave her everything
And then I wondered, Aunt Theresa,
Why?
And my Aunt said,
I was the wife of his yesterday!
3. Many times on this amazing earth, we see
and hear of certain ‘good women’ who
4. stood by their husbands when things were
terrible, but they lose their husbands in
the end.
As a twenty-three-year-old young woman,
I have learned a lot about situations like
this. Some of which are;
The victim mindset: A lot of women
play the victim. Quite a number of girls
believe they are less than boys. Less in the
sense of physical strength, emotional
strength, and sometimes even smartness.
If, as a parent, you do not deliberately
train your daughters not to think less of
themselves but believe the best of
themselves, they may walk through life
5. with their shoulders and heads down. It
has to be a deliberate effort on the
parents’ part, especially the father, to
teach his daughter to walk with her head
up and shoulder high. Some of life has
even made it possible for women to feel
this way. During sex, a woman is known
as the receiver. Many women may
interpret this as subordinate, inferior, etc.
It takes a woman with a healthy mindset
and the right information to affirm that it
takes a super being to receive, and not just
the giver is great! This leads to my second
point;
Looking out for yourself. It is okay to
be selfish. Yes, I know we have been
6. taught otherwise but hear me out first. We
have been taught to be kind to one
another, but we forget that we have to be
kind to ourselves to be effectively kind to
others. You cannot give what you don’t
have. But note that it is not impossible to
be kind to others without being kind to
ourselves. Hence, you can give what you
think you have. This, my dear, is
dangerous! Kindness, Joy, and Love come
from within us, but it is rather remarkable
how we let it flow passively without
allowing ourselves to feel our own love!
How do I know this is possible? It is
because that is how we are as humans. For
instance, If you walk from home to school
every day, and it takes you to pass across
7. three streets, one hilly area, and two
gutters before you get to school. Do you
know that even on the days you are not
concentrating, you would still know when
to climb over a step or make a halt to
jump a gutter. This information has been
stored in our subconscious mind. The
same thing with eating food. There may be
days when you pay attention to your meal,
and you allow yourself to feel every taste
and savor it. You enjoy it more those days
than the days when you are texting,
ordering an uber, shopping online, and
eating simultaneously. You will miss
certain sweetness you could have savored!
It is called the act of being intentional.
8.
9. When it comes to looking out for you, it is
a deliberate (conscious effort). It is like
savoring every moment of chewing a tasty,
hot and fresh pizza. First, it has to be
spurred by your outlook on life. So let me
share mine with you.
I firmly believe that great things happen.
Yeah, I know if I make them happen, but I
also think certain great things happen that
I had nothing to do with! The same with
bad stuff. Bad stuff are ugly despicable
situations. They also occur, and of course,
some we are the cause, and some we had
no idea how they came about. So this is
what I have chosen; To live my life; to
10. love; to cry; to be joyous, to feel the pain
but either way, still live.
I will make sure I am awake through it all
and not miss any fun, irrespective of the
situation! Because there are shits I still
have no control over, and yet they happen,
I don’t believe it’s my fault. So while I am
looking for what or who to blame, I would
savor the moments.
12. 1.Relationships: At different stages of
life, we are presented with different
kinds of relationships. Some we
choose, and many we did not have a
choice. Now that I am aware of this
fact, I can love from a position of
strength, not from giving and taking. I
say to my cousin, “you can be an
asshole for I care, but your assholeness
isn’t going to stop my kindness.” At
this point, I am living my life
independent of other people’s actions.
So if at the day’s end, I get to forty-
three, and my darling husband runs off
with a nineteen-year-old strikingly
pretty girl. I am going to hurt! Nurse,
my hurt, but deep down, all I will be
13. saying is “Guy, I chose to love you, you
won’t even be half the man you are
today if not for me, but if you choose to
express yourself this way, then bro that
is your business…. Now, this is where
my confidence is springing from; The
fact that I had consciously let myself
go, and i had chosen to love him. I
sacrificed a lot and even got injured
during the process, but you know
what? It was all a choice! It was my
choice, and I can deal with that!
14.
15. Through it, all, just at least make sure they
are your choices too, then you own it
downright!
So worst-case scenario, I can forgive
myself for letting such a person happen to
me! Ultimately, I AM IN CONTROL!