1. Created by the
Bryant University Pride Center

2. 2
TABLE OF CONTENTS
About This Workshop…………………………………………………………… 3
Cycle of Oppression……………………………………………………………. 4
Genderbread Person…………………………………………………………… 5
Working Definitions
Gender-Related Terms…………………………………………………….6
Sexual Orientation and Identity-Related Terms………………………….. 7
Historic and Cultural Terms………………………………………………...8
Trans 101………………………………………………………………………...9
Gender Pronouns……………………………………………………………….10
Check Your Facts ……………………………………………………………….11
Coming Out …………………………………………………………………….12
Being an Ally……………………………………………………………………14
Make the Pledge……………………………………………………………….16
Suggested Media………………………………………………………………17
Resource………………………………………………………………………...19
Contacts
If you’d like more information on programs, resources, or information at Bryant, please
contact:
Kelly Boutin, Assistant Director
Center for Diversity & Inclusion
401-232-6855
Kboutin1@bryant.edu
Amanda Spaziano, Graduate
Coordinator
Pride Center
401-232-6470
pridecenter@bryant.edu
19
RESOURCES
Bryant Resources
Counseling Services (401-232-6045)
Women on Call Program (401-232-4209)
24/7 campus response team for students who have experienced incidents of sexual as-
sault, sexual harassment, and relationship violence.
Pride Center (401-232-6470)
Bryant Pride pride@bryant.edu
The Gertrude Meth Hochberg Women’s Center (401-232-6854) bryant.edu/womenscenter
LGBTQ & Allies Faculty and Staff Caucus (401-232-6365)
The Amica Center (LGBT Career Info)
http://career.bryant.edu/guides-and-resources/downloadable-guides.htm
Reporting Discrimination @ Bryant University:
24-hour Bias Incident Hotline (401-232-6920)
Involving Faculty and Staff:
Human Resources (401-232-6010)
Anti-Bias Policy: http://policies.bryant.edu/general.htm
Involving Students:
Dean of Students Office – Incident Bias Committee
Incident Reporting Info: http://policies.bryant.edu/sa/Bias%20Incident.htm
Local Resources
Rhode Island Pride http://www.prideri.com/
Youth Pride Inc. http://www.youthprideri.org/
PFLAG- Greater RI Chapter http://pflagprovidence.org/
Higher Education Resources
Advocate College Guide
http:// www.advocate.com/article.aspx?id=21890
Campus Climate Index
http://www.campusclimateindex.org/
National Consortium of Higher Education LGBT Resources
http://www.lgbtcampus.org/
LGBTQ Architect
http://architect.lgbtcampus.org/
National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce
http://www.thetaskforce.org/
Hillel LGBTQ Resource Guide
http://www.hillel.org/NR/rdonlyres/D1FF7DE9-070C-4300-B33C-69B476BAF436/0/
GLBTQ_Guide.pdf
Additional Resources
National Center for Transgender Equality
http://www.transequality.org
Parents and Friends of Lesbian and Gays
http://www.pflag.org
National Association of Multicultural Education
www.nameorg.org
Teaching Tolerance
www.tolerance.org
GLBTQ Encyclopedia
http://www.glbtq.com/
Advocates for Youth
www.advocatesforyouth.org

3. 18
A Single Man (2009)
The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert
(1994)
And the Band Played On (1993)
Angels in America (2003)
Bent (1997)
Big Eden (2000)
The Birdcage (1996)
Bound (1996)
Boys Don’t Cry (1999)
The Boys in the Band (1970)
The Celluloid Closet (1995)
C.R.A.Z.Y. (2005)
Curising (1980)
Edge of Seventeen (1998)
Go Fish (1994)
Hedwig and The Angry Inch (2001)
The Iron Ladies (2000)
The Kids Are All Right (2010)
Latter Days (2003)
Law of Desire (1987)
Lilies (1996)
Longtime Companion (1990)
Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997)
Love of Siam (2007)
Maurice (1987)
Milk (2008)
My Own Private Idaho (1991)
Noah’s Arc: Jumping the Broom (2008)
Outrage (2009)
Philidelphia (1993)
Priest (1994)
The Ritz (1976)
The Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975)
Shortbus (2006)
Tarnation (2003)
Torch Song Trilogy (1988)
Transamerica (2005)
Velvet Goldmine (1998)
Victor/Victoria (1982)
Were the World Mine (2008)
Yossi & Jagger (2002)
Zero Patience (1993)
Organizations
ACLU (The American Civil Liberties Union) - www.aclu.org
ACPA SCLGBTA (ACPA’s Committee for Lesbian, Gay Bisexual Transgender Awareness) -
www.sclgbta.org
ACT-UP (AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power) - www.actupny.org
AIDS-dot-ORG (World Wide Web AIDS org) - www.aids.org
BIRESOURCE.ORG (Search engine) - www.biresource.org
COLAGE (Children of Lesbian and Gay Everywhere) - www.colage.org
Equality Ohio – www.equalityohio.org
HRC (Human Rights Campaign) - www.hrc.org
Lesbian Avengers - www.lesbianavengers.org
LLDEF (Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund) - www.lambdalegal.org
NCTE (National Center for Transgender Equality)- www.transequality.org
NGLTF (National Gay and Lesbian Task Force) - www.ngltf.org
NLGJA (National Lesbian and Gay Journalists Association) - www.nlgja.org
OutProud (National Coalition for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Youth) - www.outproud.org
PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays) - www.pflag.org
Safe Schools Coalition, Inc. - www.ed.mtu.edu/safe
Servicemembers Legal Defense Network (Legal Assistance for Military personnel) - www.sldn.org
Transgender Forum Resource Center - www.transgender.org
Recommended Films
3
ABOUT THIS WORKSHOP
1. Our goal is to educate and promote the need for respect, equality and support for the
LGBTQ community.
2. Please respect our time here together. Please silence all cell phones. If you need to take a
call, please step out.
3. Discussing feelings is important to your understanding of the issues of difference and
diversity. We hope to create a safe space and comfortable atmosphere so that feelings
can be shared.
4. There may be LGBTQ people in this group who will choose not to come out, while others
may feel comfortable doing so. This can be true for others who have family members or
loved ones who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender. Please respect people’s
decisions to disclose their own personal information. Please respect confidentiality for the
participants and do not share others’ information.
5. This program is not designed to debate issues in a major way. If you are interested in more
in-depth discussions, please contact the Pride Center.
6. Because of homophobia, biphobia and transphobia, we assume that there is usually little
opportunity to talk freely and learn about lesbian, gay, bisexual transgender, and queer
people. This serves to perpetuate heterosexism and cissexism.
7. We assume that heterosexism and cissexism is a form of oppression, like racism, sexism, anti
-Semitism, classism, ableism, ageism, etc.
8. We have all learned oppressive beliefs. We did not ask to be taught them. While we now
have the opportunity to take responsibility for them, it is not our fault that we have learned
them. Change hinges on our ability to separate fault/guilt from responsibility.
9. We don’t speak for all LGBTQ people. How could we? There is no all-encompassing
definition of LGBTQ. There is a diverse and varied community of individuals who are LGB
and/or T . This workshop and views expressed are intended to give you a better
understanding of issues that LGBTQ
10. People may or may not face potential common trends. Remember a little information is
better than none, but a little information applied too broadly can be detrimental too.
Ultimately, to best understand LGBTQ people, you understand them as individuals.
11. We invite ALL questions. This is a safe place to ask what you want/need to know.
12. Unlike many workshops, our goal is not to cover all material in this packet in detail. Our
goal is to give you some good information and to get you started or help you continue on
your journey to being an ally and advocate.
13. We ask that you commit to spending at least one additional hour reading this packet and
web resources to supplement this workshop.
14. Please resist the urge to look ahead in the packet. It’s important that we all stay together in
getting through the workshop.
15. To make this workshop a safe place for all, we invite additional ground rules from you at
this time.

4. 4
CYCLE OF OPPRESSION
When target
group members
believe the stereotypes
they are taught about
themselves, they tend to act them
out and thus perpetuate the stereotypes, which
reinforce the prejudice and keeps the
cycle going.
Stereotype:
A preconceived or oversimplified
generalization about an entire
group of people without regard for
their individual differences. While
often negative, stereotypes may
also be complimentary. Even
positive stereotypes can have a
negative impact however, because
they are generalizations. The stereotypes we hold
form the basis of our
prejudices.
Prejudice:
A conscious or
unconscious negative
belief about a whole
group of people and its
individual
When the person holding the
prejudice also has and uses
the power to deny
opportunities, resources or
access to an individual
because of his/her/hir group
membership, there is
discrimination.
Discrimination:
Prejudice + Influence
Discrimination can take
many forms and critically
includes acting on
prejudice.
Many acts of
discrimination build up
over time,
perpetuated against
one relatively less
powerful social
group by a more
powerful social
group, leading a
group of people
being in a state of
oppression.
Oppression
Prejudice + Power
Oppression can be defined as the
systematic subjugation of a group of
people by another group of people,
with access to social power. The
result benefits one group over the
other, and is maintained by cultural,
institutional, and individual beliefs
and practices.
Because
oppression is
institutionalized in
our society, target
group members,
often believe the
messages and
internalize the
oppression.
Internalized
Oppression
The act of “buying into”
the elements of
oppression by the target
group.
And the cycle
loops back to
Stereotype.
Everything is
reinforced, and the
cycle continues
17
Educational Literature
Blumenfield, Warren J. Homophobia: How We All Pay the Price, Beacon Press, 1992.
Borhek, Mary V. Coming Out to Parents, Pilgrim Press, 1983
Bornstein, Kate. Gender Outlaw, Routledge, 1995.
Brown, Rita Mae. Rubyfruit Jungle, Bantam Books, 1973, 1988.
Cohen, Susan and Daniel. When Someone You Know is Gay, Celestialarts, 1989.
Evans, Nancy and Vernon Wall. Beyond Tolerance: Gay, Lesbians, and Bisexuals on Campus, American
College Personnel Association, 1991.
Feinberg, Leslie. Stone Butch Blues, Firebrand Books, 1993 (reprint).
Feinberg, Leslie. Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman, Beacon
Press, 1997.
Fricke, Aaron. Reflections of a Rock Lobster, Alyson Publications, 1981.
Geller, Thomas. Bisexuality: A Reader and a Sourcebook, Times Change Press, 1990.
Garbr, Marjorie. Vice Versa; Bisexuality and the Eroticism of Everyday Life, Simon and Schuster, 1996.
Heron, Ann. One Teenager in Ten, Alyson Publications, 1983.
Hutchins, Loraine. Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out, Alyson Publications, 1991.
McClosky, Deirdre. Crossing: A Memoir, University of Chicago Press, 1999.
McNaught, Brian. On Being Gay, St. Martin’s Press, 1988.
Rench, Janice E. Understanding Sexual Identity, Lerner, 1990.
White, Mel. Stranger at the Gate: To be Gay and Christian in America, Plume, 1995.
Classic Literature
Baldwin, James. Giovanni’s Room. Dial Press, 1956
Barnes, Djuna. Nightwood. Harcourt Trade Publishers, 1936
Bechdel, Alison. Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic. Houghton Mifflin, 2006
Burroughs , William S. Naked Lunch. Olympia Press, 1959
Elmann , Richard. Oscar Wilde. Alfred A. Knopf, 1988
Forster, E.M. Maurice. Edward Arnold, 1971
Hall, Radclyffe. The Well of Loneliness. Jonathan Cape, 1928
Harris, E. Lynn. Invisible Life. Anchor, 1994
Ginsberg , Allen. Howl. City Lights, 1956
Genet , Jean. Our Lady of the Flowers. Grove Press, 1963
Merlis, Mark. American Studies. Alyson Books, 2009
Maupin, Armistead. Tales of the City. Harper & Row, 1978
Monette , Paul. Borrowed Time: An AIDS Memoir. Mariner Books, 1998
Proulx, Annie. Brokeback Mountain. Scribner, 2005
Rechy, John. City of Night. Grove Press, Inc. 1963
Sappho. The Complete Poems Bloodaxe Books, Ltd, 1992
Toibin, Colm. The Master. Picador, 2004
Winterson, Jeanette. Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit. Pandora Press, 1985
SUGGESTED MEDIA

5. 16
The Pledge
I have come to understand that I cannot hold all the answers to solve homophobia & heterosexism,
But I will never stop trying
It is okay that I may not always know the right thing to say,
But I will always check my assumptions
I may struggle to understand the issues facing the oppressed,
But I will never stop learning
I know that we are all in some way responsible for the our homophobic and heterosexist culture,
But I will always fight for change
I promise to be there, to support my human family, to equality and beyond.
My Action Plan
On my continued journey to be a stronger ally and advocate for LGBTQ people and issues, I com-
mit to the following:
I will continue:
1-
2-
3-
4-
I will start:
1-
2-
3-
4-
Edited from Jamie Washington.
I will stop:
1-
2-
3-
4-
MAKE THE PLEDGE
Continue Your Education
If you’d like more information on programs, resources, or information at Bryant, please
contact:
Kelly Boutin, Assistant Director
Center for Diversity & Inclusion
401-232-6855
Kboutin1@bryant.edu
Amanda Spaziano, Graduate
Coordinator
Pride Center
401-232-6470
pridecenter@bryant.edu
5
THE GENDERBREAD PERSON

6. 6
WORKING DEFINITIONS
Note: These definitions are simplistic in nature to create a basic understanding of
LGBTQ issues and concerns. We encourage you to seek additional (credible)
information to enhance your understanding of each term.
Gender Related Terms
 Androgyny: A gender expression term that refers to a blended, or both masculine and feminine,
appearance.
 Biological Sex: How we are identified at birth, based on hormones, sex organs, and chromosomes.
Examples include male, female, and intersex.
 Butch: A person whose gender presentation includes attributes more commonly associated with
masculinity than femininity; most often seeks femmes as partners and is oriented to a queer gender
continuum of butch/femme.
 Cisgender: An individual whose biological sex is align with their gender identity.
 Cisgender Privilege: Advantages that come with having your gender identity match with your
biological sex, which is given preference and authority.
 Cross Dressing: The act of wearing the clothing of the “opposite” gender for performance, sexual
encounters, entertainment or comfort. Generally, the term cross dresser is preferred to transvestite.
See Transvestite.
 Drag: Queen: A person who consciously performs femininity, sometimes in an exaggerated/theatrical
manner, usually in a show or theatre setting; King: a person who consciously performs masculinity,
sometimes in an exaggerated/theatrical manner, usually in a show or theatre setting.
 FtM: Is a person who was assigned Female at birth, has a gender identity that is man, and is in the
process of or has transitioned.
 Female: A biological designation for a person bearing two X chromosomes in the cell nuclei, who
typically have a vagina, a uterus, and ovaries. At puberty, the body produces estrogen.
 Femme: Someone whose gender presentation includes attributes commonly associated with femininity
but sees hirself outside the confines of heterosexual female gender presentation; is often used to
refer to lesbian-identified women who seek butch lesbians as partners and is oriented to a queer
gender continuum of butch/femme.
 Gender Expression: the way in which we communicate our gender to other people, including the way
we dress, act, look, and interact.
 Gender Identity: How a person perceives themselves and what they call themselves in terms of their
gender.
 Genderqueer: A gender identity in which a person either identifies as both man and woman or
neither man or woman.
 Intersex: Usually, people born with “unexpected” genitals. Formerly referred to as hermaphrodites,
intersex people are not easily categorized as male or female because of ambiguous genitals. Most
intersex people do not possess “both” sets of genitals, but rather a blending or a different
appearance that is medically unacceptable to most doctors. Intersexuality is fairly common. Intersex
can also be defined as having a difference in hormone variation or chromosome formation.
 MtF: Is a person who was assigned Male at birth, has a gender identity that is woman, and is in the
process of or has transitioned.
 Male: A biological designation for a person bearing an X and Y chromosome pair in the cell nuclei,
who typically have a penis, scrotum, and testicles, and produce testosterone at adolescence.
 Passing: Successfully (convincingly) presenting one’s preferred gender image. Maybe intentional or
unintentional. Passing is a contentious term in transgender communities, and has different meanings for
different people. For example, many trans people do not feel that they are presenting as anything
but themselves, whereas “passing” seems to imply that they are fooling people or hiding something.
In addition some trans people do not desire to “pass” as non-trans, but rather to be respected for
their identity and expression, even though people know that their gender identity or expression is
different from the one typically associated with their sex.
15
Having Educational Moments
 Ask questions- Instead of just saying “Word choice!” or “That’s offensive!” ask them why they use
those words.
 Remain positive- Remaining positive and calm will help to keep the potential “touchy” conversa-
tion from escalating.
 Know your triggers- Know what words will spark anger in you. Know how to handle yourself if
they’re used.
 Don’t get angry- Being angry can in turn, make the person you are confronting angry. This could
turn the conversation into an argument and that is not helpful.
 Have a goal in mind- Have a specific goal in mind as to what you want the student to realize.
 Come from a place of care- Above all else, confront because you want to make a more inclusive
community.
Ally Guidelines
 Be informed! Most of us are products of a heterosexist and cissexist society. It is important that
you are aware of the needs of lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender individuals.
 Examine your own biases. If you are uncomfortable with dealing with an issue, and know that
you are unable to be open and accepting, you need to refer the student to someone else.
 Know when and where to seek help. Know all available resources.
 Talk with LGBTQ people and those who support them.
 Help, but don’t force! LGBTQ students need to move at the pace they feel most comfortable.
 Deal with feelings first. You can be helpful by just listening and allowing an LGBT student the
opportunity to express feelings.
 Remember that not everyone is heterosexual/straight or cisgendered.
 Don’t try to guess who is LGBT or Q.
 Provide a supportive atmosphere for those who are or think they may be LGBTQ.
 Advocate and participate in educational programs for your staff, so that LGBTQ people receive
service without prejudice and with the empathy and warmth deserved by all.
 Remember that societal oppression and discrimination create much unhappiness for many LGBTQ
people.
 Remember that the oppression laid on lesbians differs in many ways from the oppression that
gay men suffer. Non-white LGBTQ people suffer in other ways as well.
 Use inclusive language. Use “partner,” or other gender-neutral terms, instead of “boyfriend” or
“girlfriend” when talking to others. Ask “Are you seeing anyone?” instead of “Do you have a girl-
friend?”
 Stress that anything brought to you is confidential and keep all things confidential!
 Confront homophobic and anti-LGBTQ jokes and comments.
 Familiarize yourself with campus and community resources. Refer people to those resources as
necessary.
 Know your organization’s nondiscrimination policy.
 If someone comes out to you, respond with warmth and friendship. Remember that coming
out to someone can be very difficult for LGBTQ people, so be honored that someone chose to tell
you.
 Be Visible: Participate in LGBTQ events at Bryant throughout the year and wear your support
– Safe Zone Buttons. Stickers, t-shirts from LGBTQ student groups, etc.
 If you are unable to remain impartial, refer an LGBTQ person to another resource or person who
can help them. If you cannot be a strong support, be a strong referral agent.
 Be a 100% ally – no strings attached. Unconditional acceptance is a must…this can not be
faked.
 Encourage other allies by recognizing and acknowledging their efforts. Allies need support too!
 Display your Safe Zone card and encourage others to become a Safe Zone member too!
Edited from “Thirteen Things You Can Do” by the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Alliance at Iowa State University.
Edited from PFLAG (Parents and friends of Lesbian and Gays) resources, and with thanks to Western Michigan University.

7. 14
As we continue to discuss being an ally, we have to start by challenging our
assumptions, and our knowledge to truly know how to advocate for others.
An ally is a person who actively works to eliminate the oppression and marginalization of LGBTQ indi-
viduals. This includes providing support to individual LGBTQ people as well as challenging heterosexism
and homophobia. It is important to understand the significance of privilege and rights that are automat-
ically granted to people who are heterosexual.
Understanding Privilege
What is privilege?
 Privilege is an idea that can confuse a lot of people, because we are not always aware of the
privilege we have.
 Privilege is defined as a right or immunity granted as a peculiar benefit, advantage, or favor.
Examples of privileged groups: White Privilege, Male Privilege, and Class Privilege
Why Understand Privilege?
It is important for everyone to understand what privilege they have and how it affects how they inter-
act with society. For example, someone who believes that “Gay people already have civil rights, why
do we need to give them ‘special’ rights?” probably does not know what rights are actually being de-
nied to LGBTQ individuals. This is often the result of an individual being ignorant about their rights, both
civil and personal, the reason being because they have never had to think about them.
An example: LGBTQ people may not be permitted to visit their partners or significant others in the hos-
pital should they get into an accident or injure themselves. Unless your partner has been able to convey
their wish to have you be allowed to visit, it may be up to the discretion of the medical staff or the
partners family. If the partner’s family does not support your partners LGBTQ identity, they may not let
you have access to visit.
This is something that very few heterosexuals would be confronted with. Legal recognition of partner-
ship is accessible to every heterosexual individual. The partnership allows both partners immediate ac-
cess to one another in case of emergencies. Odds are that both parents support their child and their
partners heterosexual identity. The issues of being denied access has no reason to come up ever in a
heterosexual individual’s life.
Four Levels of Becoming an Ally
1. Awareness: Explore how you are different from and similar to LGBTQ people. Gain this aware-
ness through talking with LGBTQ people, attending workshops, and self-examination.
2. Knowledge/Education: Begin to understand policies, laws, and practices and how they affect
LGBTQ people. Educate yourself on the many communities and cultures of LGBTQ people.
3. Skills: This is an area that is difficult for many people. You must learn to take your awareness and
knowledge and to communicate it to others. You can acquire these skills by attending workshops, role-
playing with friends or peers, and developing support connections.
Action: This is the most important and frightening step. Despite the fear, action is the only way to effect
change in the society as a whole.
Adapted from Western Michigan University.
BEING AN ALLY
7
 Stealth: For a person of transgender experience to have a gender identity that is not connected to
the transition. Most people are unaware of their transgender status. This doesn't mean their transition
is unknown to every single person; family and close friends may know.
 Two Spirit: Term that comes from the Native American community for an individual who lives as both
a man and a woman. This person was looked highly upon in the Native American culture.
 Transgender: A self-identified umbrella term for people who transgress society’s view of gender and
biological sex as necessarily fixed, unmoving, and following from one’s biological sex. They view
gender on a spectrum, rather than a polarized, either/or construct. This can range from identification
to cross dressing, to undergoing hormone therapy, to sex reassignment surgery and/or to other forms
of dress/presentation. Transgender people can include transsexuals, cross dressers, drag kings/
queens, masculine women, feminine men, and all those who defy what society tells them is
appropriate for their “gender.” Political transactivists seek to create more space around gender, and to
create a society where the choice of gender expression/presentation is safe, sane, and consensual.
 Transsexual: A person whose core gender identity is “opposite” their assigned sex. Transsexuals
may live as the opposite sex, undergo hormone therapy, and/or have sex reassignment surgery to
match their bodies with their gender identity. This is usually an outdated term.
 Transvestite: A person who cross-dresses for erotic pleasure or relaxation.
 Woman/Man: A social identity usually conflated with biological sex in a binary system that presumes
one has either male and masculine characteristics and behavior, or female and feminine
characteristics and behavior.
Sexual Orientation & Identity Related Terms
 Asexual: A person who does not identify specific emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual attraction
to any group of people.
 Bisexual: A person who is emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually attracted to men and
women.
 Gay: Usually, but not always, refers to homosexual men. Also used as an umbrella term for the
LGBTQ community.
 Dyke: Derogatory slang term used to identify lesbians. This term has been embraced and reinvented
as a positive, proud, political identifier when used by some lesbians among and about themselves.
See: faggot, queer.
 Fag/Faggot: Derogatory slang used to identify gay men, which has been embraced and reclaimed
as a positive, proud, political identifier when used by some gay men among and about themselves.
See dyke, queer.
 Heterosexual: A person who has emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual attractions to persons of
the “opposite sex.” The sexuality that is assumed “normal” by societal standards.
 Homosexual: A person who has emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual attraction to persons of the
“same sex.” Currently seen as more of a medical term, it is considered outdated when referring to
queer people or communities.
 Lesbian: A self-identified woman who has emotional, physical, spiritual, and sexual attractions to
other women.
 Pansexual: An individual who is attracted to others regardless of their gender identity or biological
sex. A pansexual person could be open to someone who is male, female, transgender, intersex, or
gendered/genderqueer.
 Questioning: The process of exploring one’s own sexual identity, including but not limited to one’s
upbringing, expectations from others (family, friends, church, etc.), and inner motivation.
 Same gender loving (SGL): A term from the African American/Black LGBTQ community and used by
people of color who may see “gay” and “lesbian” as terms of the white LGBTQ community.
 Sexual Orientation: The direction of one's attractions toward others. It is a direction based on whom
a person is emotionally, physically, spiritually, and sexually attracted. It is not a simple matter of
“choice.” It is not to be confused with sexual preference (what a person likes to do sexually), which
implies making a choice.

8. 8
Historic and Cultural Terms
 Advocate: A person who actively works to end intolerance, educates others, and supports LGBTQ
issues, concerns, equal rights legislation, etc.
 Ally: Someone who advocates for and supports members of a community other than their own.
 Biphobia- Aversion toward bisexuality and bisexual people as a social group or as individuals
 Cissexism: The assumption or belief that everyone is cisegender and the related assumption that
anyone who is transgender or transsexual is inferior to those who are cisgendered.
 Closeted: One who has not “come out of the closet” or who has come out to only a few people. These
individuals may not be comfortable enough with their own sexuality or gender to share it with others.
 Coming Out: The life-long process of discovering, defining, and proclaiming one’s sexuality or
gender identity.
 Heterosexual Privilege: Advantages that come with heterosexuality in this society and culture; i.e.:
marriage and all the benefits that go along with it, acceptance from family, safety, and acceptance
in their chosen career field.
 Homophobia: Fear, anger, discomfort, intolerance, or lack of acceptance toward LGBTQ people; or
also experiencing these feelings about one’s own non-heterosexual preference
 Heterosexism: The belief that all people are heterosexual, the assumption and/or belief that
heterosexual relationships and behavior are superior, and the actions based on this assumption.
 Lavender: This association goes back into ancient times and has been strengthened by the fact that
lavender, or purple, is the combination of red (pink) and blue, the traditional gender-identified
colors.
 Lifestyle: How a person chooses to live and behave, such as being a hippie. Do not confuse being
LGBTQ with a lifestyle decision.
 Normal: Can refer to what is statistically more common, but is often confused by heterosexuals to
refer to whatever it is that they condone morally. Only the individual can decide what is normal for
them and it need not be what is normal to others.
 Outing: To declare a person’s identity publicly; people can out themselves, or someone can out them either
with or without their permission.
 Queer: Derogatory slang term used to identify LGBTQ people. This term has been embraced and
reinvented as a positive, proud, political identifier when used by some LGBTQ people among and
about themselves. See dyke, faggot.
 Rainbow Flag: In 1978, San Francisco artist Gilbert Baker designed a flag for the city’s Gay
Freedom celebration. LGBTQ movements worldwide have since adopted it as a symbol of queer
identity and pride. It has six stripes in the traditional form, but can be seen in various forms which run
in the order of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple. The flag also symbolizes diversity within
unity.
 Stonewall: On June 28, 1969, NYC police attempted a routine raid on the Stonewall Inn, a working
class gay and lesbian bar in Greenwich Village. Unexpectedly, the patrons resisted, and the incident
escalated into a riot that continued for several days. Most people look to this event as the beginning
of the American Gay Liberation movement and all subsequent LGBTQ movements.
 Transphobia: The fear, intolerance, or hatred of atypical gender expression or identity, or of people
embodying or expressing an atypical gender identity.
 Triangle: Pink Triangle: This was a symbol used by the Nazi’s to label gay men in the concentration
camps. It has since been adopted as a symbol of identity and pride. Black Triangle: This was a
symbol used by the Nazi’s to label lesbians and other women deemed ‘antisocial’ in the concentration
camps. It has since been adopted as a symbol of identity and pride.
Sources: 1. Florida State University’s Campus SafeZones web page: http://www.fsu.edu/~volunteer/news/safe.html
2. Ohio University’s Office of LGBTQ Programs
3. Plymouth State College’s Task Force Against Homophobia SafeZone handout
4. Virginia Association of College and University Housing Officers (VACUHO) SafeZone Project Handout
13
Ways you can help when someone comes out:
 Remember that the person has not changed. They are still the same person you knew; you
just have more information about them now than you did before. If you are shocked, don’t
let the shock lead you to view the person as suddenly different.
 Don’t ask questions that would have been considered inappropriate before their disclosure.
 If you would like more information, ask in an honest and considerate way. If you show a
genuine and respectful interest in their life, they will most likely appreciate it. Some good
questions to ask are:
 How long have you known that you are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender?
 Are you seeing anyone?
 Has it been hard for you having to hide your sexual/gender identity?
 Is there some way that I can help you?
 Have I ever offended you unknowingly?
 Don’t assume that you know what it means for the person to be lesbian, gay, bisexual, or
transgender. Every person’s experience is different.
 They may not want you to do anything necessarily. They may just need someone to listen.
 Consider it an honor that they have trusted you with this very personal information. Thank
them for trusting you.
 Clarify with them what level of confidentiality they expect from you. They may not want you
to tell anyone else, or they may be out to others and not be concerned with who finds out.
 If you don’t understand something or have questions, remember that people who are lesbian,
gay, bisexual, or transgender are often willing to help you understand their life experiences.
Edited from the Northern Illinois University Safe Zone Program, and from Vernon Wall and Jamie
Washington, 1989.

9. 12
Now that we have covered the details of identity, perception, and oppression, we can move on to start
talking about identity development, coming out, homophobia and heterosexism, and how to be an ally.
The term “coming out” (of the closet) refers to the life long process of developing a positive LGB or T
identity. It is a long and difficult struggle for many LGBTQ individuals because they often have to
confront the homophobia, biphobia, and/or transphobia they learned growing up. Before they can
feel good about whom they are, they have to challenge their own attitudes. For some, it takes years of
painful work to develop a positive LGB or T identity, for others it may not seem to take as long
because it is an individualized journey. Each LGBTQ individual needs to decide when and to whom they
will disclose their sexual identity (see following page).
What fears might prevent LGBTQ individuals from coming out?
 Forced into therapy
 Rejection (loss of friendship)
 Gossip
 Losing their job
 Harassment
 Physical Violence
 Disowned by family
 Losing children
 Losing financial support
 Being kicked out of their home
How might LGBTQ people feel about coming out to someone?
 Scared
 Vulnerable
 Relieved
 Proud
 Concerned about reactions
What do LGBTQ people want from the people they come out to?
 Acceptance, support, understanding, comfort, a closer relationship
 Hearing that disclosure will not negatively affect the relationship
 An acknowledgement of their feelings
 A hug and a smile
COMING OUT
An ongoing process
Unfortunately, coming out will never be a one-time event. With every new day, and every new person an
LGBTQ individual meets, they have to decide whether or not they can trust that person enough to let them
know who they really are. Sometimes people will be out to a certain group of friends or family members
and 100% closeted to another group of friends and family. Job safety and security may also play a
part into the decision whether or not to come out
9
TRANS 101
When talking about the trans community, we have to understand that there is not one type of trans
individual. Just as the gay, lesbian, and bisexual people are diverse, so are trans people. It is important
to know that people who identify as trans may never undergo gender confirmation surgery or take
hormones. Being trans is about claiming a gender identity and gender expression that one feels
comfortable in. Unconditional acceptance is what everyone deserves, along with the freedom to express
themselves as they would like.
Referring back to the definition of transgender from the vocabulary section, remember that many people
can fit under the term transgender. Think of it like a big umbrella that simply means a self-identified
gender identity term for someone who breaks traditional gender norms:
If someone uses one of the terms listed above, that does not necessarily mean they
identify with the trans community. It is important to always check your assumptions
about an individual’s gender and sex when you meet them. It is always good to ask
what gender pronouns people would like to go by!
Transsexual
Genderqueer
Two Spirit
Trans Woman/Trans Man
MTF or FTM
Intersex

10. 10
Pronouns, the way we communicate about ourselves and other individuals to one another. From third person to personal pronouns, the
English language is all about gender. If an individual does not find their identity in either gender identity, it can be challenging for
them to communicate who they are.
These new pronouns may seem
challenging at first, but with consistent
use and practice, they become second
nature.
But if you ever find yourself struggling,
remember this:
“When in doubt, just use their name!”
Pronoun tables adapted from American University Safe Space Sticker Program
Subject Object
Possessive
Adjective
Possessive
Adjective
Reflexive
Female She Her Her Hers Herself
Male He Him His His Himself
Gender
Inclusive
Ze, They Hir, Their Hir, Their Hirs, Theirs
Hirself,
Themself
Pronoun Pronunciation
Ze Zee
Hir Here
Hirs Heres
Hirself Hereself
GENDER PRONOUNS
How Do You Say That?
Putting Pronouns Into Practice!
11
As you review these, ask where, how and why you learned these untrue things. Why might these have been
and still be perpetuated? Look for connections and roots.
1. Being LGB is NOT a mental disorder.
2. LGBTQ people do NOT have more sexual encounters than heterosexuals do.
3. HIV/AIDS is NOT a LGBTQ disease.
4. Gay people cannot just “choose” to leave homosexuality.
5. You CANNOT spot LGBTQ people by the way they dress and act.
6. LGBTQ people do NOT all work in the arts or as hairdressers.
7. Lesbians do NOT just need a “good man.” Gay men do NOT really just need a “good woman.”
8. In an LGBTQ relationship, there is no "husband" or "butch" role nor "wife" or "femme" role.
9. Individuals do not become LGBTQ because they were sexually abused as children.
10. Gay men do NOT molest children and recruit them to be gay.
11. LGBTQ people are NOT poor or unfit parents.
Adapted from the Plymouth State College’s Safe Zone Program
Additional Facts
 Between 1996 and 2006, over 60 campuses established LGBT Centers. Today, over 100
LGBT Centers exist on college campuses across the nation, many of which are staffed by
paid employees.
 The College Equality Index reports that 38 colleges currently offer gender-neutral housing
options for LGBT students, including Whitman College, The University of
Chicagoand Stanford University.
 13.4% of LGBT students who experience frequent verbal harassment don’t plan to attend
college after high school. Only 6.7% don’t intend to go to college if they experience less
frequent or rare verbal harassment.
 According to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force (NGLTF), 20% of college students
fear for their physical safety due to their gender identity or their perceived sexual
orientation.
 The most common form of harassment towards LGBT college students is derogatory
remarks. However, verbal threats, graffiti and the pressure to keep quiet about sexual
orientation and/or gender identity are also common.
 An NGLTF study found that 29% of students did not feel that their curriculum adequately
represents contributions of LGBT individuals.
Question all that you have learned.
Unlearn, relearn or learn as needed.
Question your own basic assumptions.
CHECK YOUR FACTS