Student Wellness Newsletter: Healthy Relationships

1. The
Chill
February 2015 GSP’s Wellness Newsletter
When you think of the word “Relationship”, what
people or situations come to mind?
Aswegetolder,welearnthatthereareavarietyofrelationshipswecan
havewithotherpeople.Ourpeers,familymembers,teachersandother
caringadultsplayahugeroleinidentityformationanddevelopment.We
oftencreateandmaintainrelationshipsbasedontheonewehavewithour
parentsorcaregiver.Healthyrelationshipsconsistoftrust,honesty,
respect,equality,andcompromise.Unfortunately,sometimeswecan
developunhealthyrelationships,andexperienceorexhibitviolent
behaviorsandabuse.InthisissueofTheChill,wewillexplorewaysto
buildhealthyrelationships,identifyunhealthybehaviors,andstaysafe
fromabuse!
Boundaries & “Sexting”
Setting & Respecting relationship
Boundaries and how to protect
yourself in a digital world.
5
Single Status
How to survive when life’s filled with
couples and you’re still single.
6
Concrete Rose
“Honest and real”. Maria {Lola}
Loredo takes you on an emotional
journey through her history and
experiences of domestic violence.
8
Family
Includes sibilings,
parents, relatives who
you interact with
everyday (cousins,
aunts, uncles,
grandparents, and
step-parents.
We first learn about
loving and caring
relationships from
our families!
Friendships
A friend is defined as
a person you know
well and regard with
affection, trust, and
respect.
True frinds listen to
and respect each
other's opinions!
Casual
Relationships
Formed with people
you encounter every
day- anyone who is
not a friend, family
member, or lover.
All relationships
start with casual
relationships!
Romantic
Relationships
Can be with anyone
you share an
emotional connection
with in an honest,
intimate way.
Both partners
respect each other
and have their own
identity.
Are you in a Healthy
Relationship?
Necessary components for Healthy
connections.
2
Inside this Issue

2. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
2
E veryone has the right to a safe and healthy
relationship. It’s important to remember that relationships
are never perfect. Maintaining a strong one takes time and
effort by both people. There are many positive qualities that
make for a good relationship, but there are certain
components that are absolutely necessary.
Creating & Maintaining
Healthy Relationships
Does the other person in your
relationship…
N …Belittle you, insult you, or call you
names?
N …Lie to you or accuse you of lying?
N …Destroy your property or put you
in dangerous situations?
N …Disrespect you and/or your
family?
N …Force you to do things you don’t
want to do?
N …Physically and emotionally hurt
you or cause you pain/harm?
A relationship is unhealthy when
someone feels unequal, unsafe, and
unsupported. If you answered yes to
most of these questions, you may be
seeing warning signs of an abusive
relationship. Don’t ignore these red
flags. Something that starts off small
can grow worse over time. No
relationship is perfect, but in a healthy
relationship, you wont find abusive
behaviors!
These 4 components must be in a relationship for it to be healthy. Even
if one is missing, then the relationship is problematic. For all
relationships (whether with friends, family, or
romantic interests) each component is important
because they are interconnected with one another.
If someone is not being honest then there probably
is no trust, the communication is not truthful, and
respect for at least one person is missing. In
addition, each 4 components is a two-way street.
Both individuals must have and maintain each component!
Healthy communication takes a balance of talking and listening.
When it comes to relationships, the communication component is
needed to ensure that all the other components are there.
Communication is clearly expressing your thoughts and feelings,
needs and wishes, actively listening to the thoughts,
feelings, needs and wishes of your partner. We all
deserve to feel safe. If your basic needs are being
neglected, you need to tell your partner.
Communication is the vehicle through which each
partner demonstrates his/her respect, honesty & trust!
Could your
relationship be
unhealthy? BOUNDARIES
COMMUNICATION
RESPECT
• Partners are Honest and Accountable
• Partners are Dependable
• Partners believe in Each other
• Feeling safe both emotionally and physically
TRUST
• Defined as limits we use to protect ourselves
• Part of respecting yourself and other people is
understanding and honoring these boundaries
• Each partner is true to their self & real with each other
• Use respectful language, even in disagreement
• Partners are supportive and open-minded
about differing beliefs and views
• Partners value and Accept each other
• Fairness and Equality for both partners
• Partners speak-up when they have an issue
• Engage in equal parts speaking and listening!
• Partners do not bring up past events or situations
• Talking face to face
• Partners support one another

3. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
3
“Dating” means different things to different people,
particularly across generations. In general, “dating” is
defined as two people in an intimate relationship. The
relationship may be sexual, but it does not have to be. It
may be serious or casual, straight or gay, committed or
open, short-term or long-term.
Whatever you call it, its important to
understand and feel comfortable with
whatever type of relationship you are
in. Regardless of the label you use,
you and your partner should both
accept the same definition for your
relationship. Simply put, a dating
“partner” refers to the person you’re
in a relationship with.
Dating
Bill of Rights
I havetheright…
Tobetreated with respect always
Tosay no
Tomy ownthoughts, beliefs &
opinions
Tomy ownbody
Tosuggestiveactivities
Tobeheard
Toemotional support &
understanding
Tohavemutually consenting sex
Tochangemy mind about
anything at any time
Toexpress my feelings, even if
they arenegative
Tonot beabused- physically,
emotionally, or sexually
Tobetreated as an equal
Topursuemy own talents
Torealizemy own dreams
Tohavemy ownfriends andto
spendtimewith thosefriends
Tocontrol my money andmy
possessions
Tomakelimits andset boundaries
Tohavethoselimits and
boundaries acknowledgedand
respected
Torefusetohavesex andall forms
of sexual contact
Todisagree
Torefusetohavesex andall forms
of sexual contact
Todisagree
Torefuseactivities, even if my
dateis very enthusiasticabout
them
Todothings that does not include
my boyfriendor girlfriend
Tobreakupat any time
Tolivewithout fear andconfusion
frommy boyfriendor girlfriend’s
anger
Commonly
used words for
“Dating”
“Going Out”
“Together”
“With someone”
“Seeing each other”
“Hubby/Wifey status”
“Just friends”
“Friends with benefits”
“Hooking up”
“Going steady”
“My Bae”
Dating Relationships
Dating Toolkit
Tips and Tools for maintaining a healthy dating relationship
♥ Tell each other how you feel
♥ Stay humble and positive, and don’t let outsiders interfere
♥ Be open to each others idea’s, without forcing changes on one
another
♥ Stay in tune with yourself & how you feel emotionally/physically
♥ Keep an open mind that’s free from judgment
♥ Value each other’s unique thoughts, feelings, and ideas that
make each of you an asset.
♥ Take care of yourself in order to take care of each other
♥ Put away your phone and other electronics and actually spend
time together!

4. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
4
Carmen & Joseph
Together for 3 years, 6 months
What does your relationship bring to your life?
C: It brings support and motivation
J: It brings pain, love, disagreements, agreements, decisions, anger, but also happiness.
What does your relationship mean to you?
C: To be committed
J: Working hard and trying your best
Does being in a relationship make you a better person or a worse person?
C: Makes you a better person because you learn from mistakes
J: Both- a better person because I am motivated to try my best but worse because I’ve seen a
bad side of myself that I’ve never seen before.
How do you make your relationship work overtime?
C: Setting goals and talking
How do you handle conflicts?
C: Talking things out
J:I get angry and try to have my mind thinking about something else other than the
conflict, do something else or express my anger drawing, or just talking it out with
Carmen.
What’s been the biggest challenge of your relationship?
C: trust issues and insecurities
J: Trying not to express my anger on Carmen and knowing when I do too much
How has your relationship changed over time?
C: more understanding, trusting, supporting and motivating
J: We have gotten closer and we have been able to be ourselves as well as build more
communication.
How would you describe your relationship?
C: Unbreakable
J: I would describe it as a rose- the more it rains, the more it grows and the more beautiful.
What qualities in your relationship are most important to you?
C: this quote-“He loved her, of course, but better than that, he chose her, day after day.
Choice- that was the thing.”
What advice do you have for other couples?
C: Let no one get in your relationship
J: Don’t give up!
Angelica & Cristel
Together for 5 months, 3 weeks
What does your relationship bring to your life?
C: It brings me happiness
A: Happiness and unique ideas
What does your relationship mean to you?
C: It means love to me
A: It means EVERYTHING!
Does being in a relationship make you a better person or a worse
person?
C: It makes me a better person because I think of my partner and not just myself
A: It makes me a little bit of both. For better because we go through changes together; For
worse because I show my jealousy a little bit more.
How do you make your relationship work overtime?
C: By communicating
A: We are starting to communicate a little bit more
How do you handle conflicts?
C: I try to be calm and be patient and not make it a big deal
A: I used to overreact and yell but now I am different because I understand how she feels
when I take my anger out on her and talk things out.
What’s been the biggest challenge of your relationship?
C: Having constant fights
A: Seeing each other because her parents don’t know who she truly is.
How has your relationship changed over time?
C&A: We are more comfortable with one another
How would you describe your relationship?
C: Interesting
A: Weird and playful
What qualities in your relationship are most important to you?
C: Honesty, respect, and patience
A: Being weird, because we show different sides of each other
What advice do you have for other couples?
C: Don’t let other people get in your relationship because it will only break you guys apart.
A: Make sure you understand each others limits, likes and dislikes in order to come to a
certain agreement that will benefit both of you guys
Relationship
Interviews
With GSP’s 12th
grade Couples
What does your relationship bring to your life?
M: Friendship and happiness
V: Happiness and love
What does your relationship mean to you?
M: It means FOREVER
V: Staying with a person you love for ever
Does being in a relationship make you a better person or a worse person?
M: Better person because I have someone to motivate me
V: It makes me a better person
How do you make your relationship work overtime?
M & V: Communicating and being there for each other
How do you handle conflicts?
M: We don’t talk for a while and then talk about it afterwards
V:I Give each other space and when we are both calm, we talk to each other
What’s been the biggest challenge of your relationship?
M: When we have arguments, its hard to stay apart.
How has your relationship changed over time?
M: We have gotten closer and feel comfortable being our selves with each other
V: We trust each other more and understand one another
How would you describe your relationship?
M: “Two against the world”!
V: Loving, caring, funny
What qualities in your relationship are most important to you?
M & V: Trust, loving, caring, loyalty, always coming to each other for support
What advice do you have for other couples?
M: Show what you mean to that person, if not then you shouldn’t be with them
V: To trust your partner and don’t give them up!
What does your relationship bring to your life?
Mr. M: Comfort, security, love, a child
What does your relationship mean to you?
Mr. M: Home, family, love, speaking about my troubles, having fun
Does being in a relationship make you a better person or a worse person?
Mr. M: Better person, less selfish.
How do you make your relationship work overtime?
Mr. M: When having disagreement, we deal with it.
How do you handle conflicts?
Mr. M: talk and deal with things- Communication.
What’s been the biggest challenge of your relationship?
Mr. M: Income, and equity
How has your relationship changed over time?
Mr. M: We are okay with problems, less romantic, more good friends.
How would you describe your relationship?
Mr. M: Two parts of a whole- and our Son fills the rest of the whole
What qualities in your relationship are most important to you?
Mr. M: Honesty and trust. Trust is the most important.
What advice do you have for other couples?
Mr. M: Understand your differences and give each other the time.
Michael & Victoria
Together for 2 years, 2 months
Mr. Morgan
With his wife for 10 years
“Show how
you feel to
that person,
if not then
you
shouldn’t
be with
them.”
-Michael

5. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
5
Setting
Boundaries
1
Emotional
♥ The L Word: Saying “I love you” happens
for different people and different times in a
relationship. If your partner says it and you
don’t feel that way yet, don’t feel bad – you
may just not be ready yet. Let your partner
know how it made you feel when they said it
and tell them your own goals for the
relationship.
♥ Time Apart: As great as it is to want to
spend a lot of time with your partner,
remember that it’s important to have some
time away from each other too. Both you and
your partner should be free to hang out with
friends (male or female) or family without
having to get permission. It’s also healthy to
spend time by yourself doing things that you
enjoy or that help you relax. You should be
able to tell your partner when you need to do
things on your own instead of feeling trapped
into spending all of your time together.
Physical
N Take Your Time: Don’t rush it if you’re not
ready. Getting physical with your partner
doesn’t have to happen all at once if you’re
not ready. In a healthy relationship, both
partners know how far each other wants to
go and they communicate to each other if
something changes. There isn’t a rulebook
that says you have to go so far by a certain
age or at any given time in a relationship, so
take things at your own pace.
N Sex Isn’t Currency: You don’t owe your
partner anything. Just because your partner
hether you’re casually hooking up or have been going out for a while now, setting
boundaries is an important part of any relationship. It’s good for both individuals to
be on the same page. Boundaries are a way to protect and take care of our selves.
To have the healthiest relationship, both partners should know each other’s wants,
goals, fears and limits. You should feel comfortable with communicating your honest
needs to your partner without being afraid of what he or she might do in response. If
your partner tells you that your needs are stupid, gets angry with you or goes
against what you’re comfortable with, then your partner is not giving you the respect
you deserve. Talking about boundaries with your partner is a great way to make
sure that both of your needs are being met and you feel safe in your relationship.
Here are some things to think about when setting boundaries in your
relationship:
2
takes you out to dinner, buys you a gift or
says “I love you” doesn’t mean you owe them
anything in response. It isn’t fair for your
partner to claim that you don’t care about
them because you won’t “go all the way.”
Even if you’ve done it before, you are never
required to do it just because your partner is
pressuring you. Remember, no means no.
Digital
✼ Passwords are Private: Even if you trust
your partner, sharing passwords for your
phone and website accounts isn’t always the
best idea. Just like you should be able to
spend time by yourself, you are entitled to
your own digital privacy. Giving your partner
access to your Facebook or Twitter allows
them to post anything they want without
getting your permission first. They can also
see everyone that you talk to, which may
cause unwarranted jealousy, especially if
there isn’t anything going on. Just to be safe,
your password should be something that only
you know so you know you always have control
of your information.
✼ Photos and “Sexting”: Similarly to your
physical boundaries, it’s important to have
digital boundaries about what you’re
comfortable sending via text message. Once
you’ve hit send on a photo or text, you lose
control over who sees it. If your partner sends
you an inappropriate picture and demands that
you send one back, you should be able to
express to them that you aren’t comfortable
sharing that over text message without them
getting angry or threatening you.
W

6. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
6
Real Friends vs. Fake Friends
Many of us have at least one person in our lives with whom we share a special bond with-
someone we know well, trust and respect. The people we attach to and share mutual affection
with are the ones we call our friends. The connection between friends is a strong,
compassionate, interpersonal relationship. Just like anyone can be a friend, everyone needs a
friend. Whether the relationship is with a family member or a peer, the
connection is strong, compassionate and supportive.
As you get older, some of your friendships will start to change, and
some may grow deeper. Changes in relationships are natural but not
always easy. If you are no longer feeling supported, or if you feel like a
friendship is toxic, one-sided, or more hurtful than helpful, it may be
time to let go. You deserve to have friends who don’t cause too much
stress and who bring you more happiness than pain.
Making and keeping friends can be particularly tough if you are shy or unsure of yourself.
The best way to make new friends is to be involved in activities at school and in the
community where there are other people your age. Another way to make friends is to
be friendly and helpful to other people. Talk to people, get to know them, and find out if you
have something in common with them.
Friendship
A relationship of mutual affection between two people *Support you
*Encourage
*Do not tease
or belittle
*Cooperate
*Considerate
*Apologize
*Communicate
*Tell you the
truth
*Make you
happy
* Compromise
*Talk openly
-Lie
-Withhold
information from
you
-Always bring
you down
-Talk about you
behind your
back and then
deny it
-Talk badly
about your other
friends
-Tease you to
make others
laugh
“We trust each
other and have
each others’
back.“
–Gabriel & Elvia
V. (7th
grade)
Say this …
(Fill in the blanks)
I just want to let you
know how I feel because
I care about our
friendship.
I feel/felt__________
because/ when________.
Next time, I wish you
would_______.
Ask this …
(Ask your friends these
questions & listen respectfully)
How do you feel about this?
What was the situation like from
your perspective?
Did you know how I felt?
Is there anything I can do to
make our friendship better for
you?
Then
Talk it
out with
your
Friend!
Use this format to
express your
feelings & work
things out.
Answer this …
(Answer these questions
with your friend together)
What can we do so that
this doesn’t happen again?
Can we make some
agreements for how we’ll
act around each other next
time?
Finally
2
wheel”. Not only will the term welcome awkward silences, it will
also make you appear uncomfortable in your own skin. You don't
need a special someone by your side to stir up meaningful
conversation. Be confident in what you bring to the table!
4. Don’t stress about that “life plan”.
Love in unpredictable. Stop thinking in
terms of a specific life plan, and cut
yourself a break for not being coupled
up with someone at this particular
moment. Finding a significant other
isn’t a race. Be open to relationships as
opportunities arise, and don’t put
pressure on yourself- romance will find
you when you least expect it.
5. But really, it’s all about you!
Whether you’ve been in a serious relationship or dated million
and one frogs without landing a prince/princess, relationships
should never define the scope of our happiness. Learn to find the
joy in being you! And when you do find that significant other-
You’ll have the confidence and independence to stand on your
own two feet!
1
1. Peace out, pity committee
Being single when all your friends are paired off can feel
discouraging if you allow yourself to fall victim to "why
me" syndrome. Stop searching for reasons why you're
single, and start being happy for your friends in healthy
relationships. Learn how to love yourself first in order to
love someone else.
2. Focus on you
Maintaining a romantic relationship requires time,
effort, and serious commitment. Without a bf/gf in your
life, you get a pass to spend your energy on being
selfish. Really! Use that alone time to work on self-
esteem and achieve personal goals. Exploring your
passions should always be a priority but it’s that much
easier when another person isn’t in the picture.
3. Third-wheeling doesn’t have to be a thing
Real talk: If you find yourself in a social setting filled
with couples, avoid referring to yourself as a “third
“We must be our own before we can
be another’s”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

7. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
7
Abuse happens in relationships
across race, gender, ethnicity,
class, religion and age. Domestic,
dating and Sexual violence are
serious issues in today’s society,
causing victims, as well as witnesses
and bystanders, in every
community to suffer pain and loss.
The topic of abuse in teen intimate
and dating relationships is
especially important because teens are highly vulnerable to abusive
relationships, and they may find it more difficult to leave them.
Dating Violence is a type of intimate partner violence, occurring between
two people in a close relationship. The nature of dating violence can be
physical, emotional, or sexual and is used by a person to harm, threaten,
intimidate, or control a person in a romantic or intimate relationship. Physical
harm does not have to occur for it to be an abusive relationship. Abuse can
occur in person or through use of any from of technology like Facebook,
Instagram, texting, etc. Violence in a dating relationship can have a negative
effect on health throughout life.
Trust your instincts-if you feel like a relationship is unhealthy or abusive, it is!
MMMMMM
“Love has many definitions, but
ABUSEIs not one of them!”
1) A relationship is only abusive if there is
physical violence.
FALSE! Abuse can be physical,
emotional sexual, or economic
2) Only Girls are victims of abuse.
FALSE! Although it is true that most
victims are girls, both boys and girls can
be victims. Same-sex partners can also
be involved in abusive relationships.
2
3) If you stay in a relationship or go back
to the person after they have been
abusive, you are stupid, asking for it, or to
blame for whatever happens to you.
FALSE! Leaving an abusive relationship
is a complex and difficult process. You
are not stupid if you need help.
Types of Relationship
Abuse
-Emotional/Verbal Abuse-
Non-Physical behaviors including
threats, insults, constant monitoring or
“checking-in”, excessive texting,
humiliation, intimidation or isolation.
-Stalking-
Being repeatedly watched, followed or
harassed
-Financial Abuse-
Using money or access to accounts to
exert power and control over a partner
-Digital Abuse-
The use of technology such as texting
and social networking to bully, harass,
stalk or intimidate a partner. Often this
behavior is a form of verbal or emotional
abuse perpetrated through technology.
-Physical Abuse-
Any intentional use of physical force with
the intent to cause fear or injury (like
hitting, shoving, biting, strangling,
kicking or using a weapon).
-Sexual Abuse-
Any action that pressures or manipulates
someone to do something sexually they
don’t want to do. It can also refer to
behavior that impacts a person’s ability
to control their sexual activity or
circumstance circumstances in which
sexual activity occurs (oral sex, rape, etc.)
Get Help!
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse,
tell a trusted adult or call one of these hotlines
for support:
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE(7233)
Love is Respect
Text “loveis” to 22522

8. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
8
1
DeŸpresŸsion
1. Severe despondency and dejection, typically felt over
a period of time and accomplished by feelings of
hopelessness and inadequacy
Lately I’vebeen feeling alone and not caring no
more. I guess I just don’t understandmyself nomore. I lost
my sense of humor. I think you wouldhave to beableto
metaphorically walk in my shoes. I rather just writeit. I
don’t want notypeof pity, just want you toreadanother
story. Maybe therearemillions of peoplewith my story.
That was sarcasm, of coursethere’s been peoplewith this
story but they never seek help they just probably livein
their own sorrow, lost soul. I’mnot saying my lifebeen
completely sh*tty, I’mjust saying its not unicorn farts and
rainbows. Clearly I’mstill aliveso being saddoesn’t kill
you physically. Being sadjust f*cks you up emotionally
andmakes your day a little gloomy, possibly likea fog on
a coldmorning. But lets get tomy story. I amcurrently 16.
I’mnot going tosay what gender I amor what’s my
ethnicity. I think that’s not important. I think, its just my
stoy. Regardless you will eventually findout as I write to
you…
Childhood
What happens when you’rethemain sourceof pain?
~Born: Mom& dad {deadbeat (lol)} together? ~Dad took his
money andleft my momfor another women, a minor (menor).
My momworkedthroughout thepregnancy. My grandparents
didn’t helpout my mom.
My dadusedtobeat my momwhen I was in theroom
with my sister andbrother. You can hear my momagonizing
andyelling through thewalls. Every slap and punch echoed
back totheroomin which 3 littlekids, confused, heardtheir
momgetting beat by their father.
Step-Father
It was a typical day. I guess tv helpedgrowing up
toimaginea different placefromreal life. It helpa lot I
swear. Mostly those d*mn Eminemsongs, they spoketo
me but I hadso man phases. I think I was a pokemón and
eventually developedinomy own character. D*mn it! I
wishlifewasn’t sosh*tty. But anyways, ontotheother
malefigure in my life. Another worthless pieceof sh*t.
They really shouldtag men like they doin stores, but
2
insteadof a priceit reveals the sh*ttyness in them. But one
particular moment I remember in my life was when I was
in my hallway in my oldapartment. I wish those
moments {memories} stayedin
that apartment. They attached
themselves likea dirty lake
insect. But back tothat
hallway. It lookedsobig. That
hallway was in fact quite small
but thedoor I was trying toget
in was mocking mein a sense. I
couldn’t reach it. It didn’t let me
in. That d*mn mirror in the
door. Sucha dirty mirror. That
reflection of a littlegirl not knowing what’s on theother
side. Reality was that her mother- a spitting imageof her-
was being beat anddraggedby her step-father. She
wonders why nooneis helping out. Not a d*mn soul
helpedout. Her siblings (young) in theother room
watching tv. Shelooks at them. Why aren’t they helping
out? How can you besoimmune tothis? I guess living it
andbeing born todomestic violence adapts toyou. Not
knowing that later in lifethey wouldbef*ckedup
emotionally andphysically. On tothat hallway- it was
likea roadthat didn’t end. I can hear my momyelling in
pain. I hear the furniture moving. I reach that d*mn door-
it felt likea f*cking safeprotecting money in the bank.
Why didn’t it open? Even if it opened, didI really want to
seetheother side. I saw, matter of fact heardthesoundof
that wooden door open. Theman glancing down at that
young girl trying tohelp her mother, shelookedup. He
smiledandopenedthe door. I lookedaroundtofindmy
mother. I seeher, crouching on thesideof thedoor, her
face with bloodbut alive. Her shirt is torn, rippedbut
holding ontothoselittlestrands of thread. Shewas like a
scared, lost dog. That’s how my stepdad madeher feel-
likea dog. Hecalledme towards himopening his hands, a
signal to hug him. Why wouldI hug this man whobeat
thesh*t out of my mom? I guess mentally I
didn’t want toend uplike that andI
didn’t want my momto her a** beat up
again. I huggedhim—I felt coldand
disgusted.
ConcreteRose
“Every slap
and punch
echoed back to
the room in
which 3 little
kids, confused,
heard their
mom getting
beat by their
father”

9. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
9
1
Concrete Rose
I use to enjoy riding bikes up and down through
my neighborhood block because the simplicity of it
gave me peace. I remember the sun hitting my
face and the warmth
caressed me like it was
hugging my cheeks. I felt
like I was in a different
universe in which I
escaped the troubles of
my household. I disliked
being in my house when
my step-father was
around because he
would abuse my mother
like an old rag doll that
was no longer useful. I
didn’t see my mother like
that I saw her like the most exotic Aztec princess,
she was a warrior. Even in the worst days seeing
my mother struggle, she would always protect us
like she was a mother bear protecting her cubs.
My mother took so much for us and she sacrificed
just to keep us healthy. I would never realize that
later on but I began to slowly evolve into someone
much more caring and wiser. The ironic thing
about living in an abusive household was that it
can impact your life to be someone with the same
abusive compulsions or it can make you a
compassionate person. Having my father and
step-father abuse someone so meaningful to me
gave me so much rage about not being able to
control the situation. Then I realized that all that
bad energy was no good to a loving future, but I
didn’t learn that right away. I had a seed of hate
in me but I had another compassionate seed in me
too waiting for it to blossom to see which one
would conquer me. I noticed that seed of hate was
like a weed that was in between a colorful batch of
flowers, so I decided to take it away and let the
beautiful flowers illuminate the world. The way I
took it away was the loving friends I had at school,
the ones that you can joke around for hours and
feel as if you would get a six pack from laughing
so hard. Most of my friends had similar struggles
growing up the abuse that varied was physical
and mentally. That can affect how you identify
2
yourself as and who you identify yourself with, we
reflected one another. My friends were like a set of
siblings chosen by me and I could let out my
sorrow to them. We would spend our days at
school together and we were like sour patch candy
to our teachers, sour when we felt like we were
picked on but sweet enough because we were wise
enough to get our work done together. Many of my
teachers growing up were helpful to my
classmates and I. They would motivate us too
keep up in school. The simplicity of those middle
school days was so relaxing to my soul to who I
was growing up. I never worried about fitting in
because the class I had was like a family but just
like any family it had its flaws. I feel as if as soon
as I stepped in school my worries would slowly
fade away. The gateway to all my troubles was
being in a different environment being around
kids all ages and being around adults that
nurtured our minds. The reason why I shared this
experience was to be able to show young adults
that through every rough path you go through in
life, let those scars be a reminder to every battle
you overcame. Those tears that would roll down
your face are
now dried up,
and a smile
would emerge
from knowing
that pain is no
longer there.
Let those
experiences
you had
growing up
help you grow
mentally as a
person don’t let them define
you as a person. The only revenge that you can
have on those who hurt you is to be able to flip
that past story into a beautiful future and to give
love and compassion to those around you because
you never know what their dealing with or trying
to cope with so just give positive vibes to the world
because the little good things you do in life can
impact the whole world with just that
one person you showed love to.♥
“The ironic thing
about living in an
abusive household
was that it can
impact your life
to be someone
with the same
abusive
compulsions or it
can make you a
compassionate
person”
“…Through every rough path you go
through in life, let those scars be a
reminder to every battle you overcame.”
♥Lola
By Christina Suarez (9th
)

10. The Chill Third Edition :: February 2015
10
How to cut ties to a relationship in a
RESPECTFUL way:
✄ Don’t bring up your issues in front of the world (like
Facebook). Online breakups may seem easier, but can
actually complicate things
✄ Steer clear of blame and be kind, honest and clear
✄ Discuss in a safe setting where you have some privacy
(unless you are fearful about their response, then break
up in a public setting)
✄ Stay open and ask yourself what you can learn from the
experience
✄ If your partner can’t seem to be respectful, it’s ok to
end the conversation – and the relationship – without
further discussion
✄ Allow time and space to heal - avoid making excuses to
contact them
✄ Don’t spread rumors out of spite- or at all!
Aye Bruh,
I’ve been feeling unhappy in my
relationship. We’ve been arguing so
much lately. My friends keep telling me
to bail but I’m
not sure if breaking-up is
the right way to deal with all this drama.
What do you think I should do?
From,
Make-up or Break-up
Dear
Make-Up or
Break-Up,
Making the decision to stop seeing someone can be the
trickiest part of the relationship. While making your
decision it’s important to remember this: It is your
choice to date someone, so it’s your choice to stop
dating someone. Couples can break up for any number
of reasons, but however you feel, it still comes down to
whether you want to be in the relationship. Relationships
are part of life. And as normal as relationships are,
break-ups are normal too. In many situations, breaking
up can actually be better for everyone. Take the Break-
up Quiz to help you consider your options!
Aye
Bruh!
Aye Bruh,
Do you need Advice?
If you have question or need advice on
social, emotional, or wellness issues,
write an anonymous letter and bring it
to Ms. Liz in the front office and you
might see it featured on “Aye Bruh” in
The Chill.
The Break-Up Quiz
1. There are many things that annoy
me about my partner.
Agree Neither/Both Disagree
2. We always seem to have drama
between us.
Agree Neither/Both Disagree
3. My partner is always putting me
down.
Agree Neither/Both Disagree
4. I am disappointed in this
relationship.
Agree Neither/Both Disagree
5. We do not laugh anymore.
Agree Neither/Both Disagree
6. I avoid my partner at times.
Agree Neither/Both Disagree
Mostly Disagree-For the most part, your relationship
appears to be healthy!
Mostly Neither/Both- If you are unsure about how you feel
about your relationship, breaking-up could be an option.
But first, talk to your partner about your feelings and
explore ways to improve the relationship, together!
Mostly Agree- Sounds like it’s time to break-up. You
deserve a relationship based on trust, respect, and
compassion.
Meditate
Chill
w/friends
Keep a
journal Exercise Dance