2. RED BEACH
Waves crash and slide along rich, golden sand,
Causing a harmony of thudding shells.
Children laugh and play in this treasured land,
The sounds of songbirds ring out like church bells.
Red leaves upon pohutukawa trees,
Giving a frame to the picturesque bay.
They wave wildly in the heavy breeze,
But the trusty bough of their home doesn't sway.*
A hardy flock of seagulls drift along,
A constant presence by the shore so bright.
No matter the weather, forever strong,
Their graceful, wide wings an unblemished white.
Tracks of footprints lead to the rising sun,
A new day at Red Beach has just begun.
Sonnet
*This line is 11 syllables long because I felt it fitted the poem better than any line I could think of that had 10 syllables.
3. THE FARM
SHEEP
Grazing with worn mouthes
Wool, matted as woven flax
Large and contented
THE FARMER
Experienced hands
Tending to grassy fields
Leader of the land.
CATTLE
Colourful and loud
Curious, inquisitive
Carriers of milk.
Haikus
4. MY CRAZY CATS
My cats, they are quite crazy,
they commit many a crime!
You'd not believe the things they do,
when they have the time.
They pluck the carpet like a harp,
and shred the sofa with sharp claws.
They chomp down on the coffee table,
and even like to headbutt doors!
They pounce on raincoats on the ground,
running wildly as they please.
They screech and squawk at one another
and leap on the piano keys!
But that's not all my cats can do,
they like to pee on wardrobes too!
Free Verse
5. A friend I used to do this with
near died from typhoid fever:
they had the cockles analysed -
s**t from down the coastline further.
Barefeet on the beach is madness,
this beach that was once made from sand:
sun shines bright on broken glass,
cockles from Cockleshell island are banned.
Sad protest songs are sung and heard,
like this one here. And afterwards
the audience goes home convinced
the s**t's cleared clean away with words.
The wind can't blow any harder,
the air's too heavy for the birds.
A BOTTLE CREEK BLUES
The wind can't blow any harder,
the air's as heavy as Hell...
I watched the blue diesel smoke like mist
hanging on a high suburban hill:
wind I thought would blow it away
but the wind itself is diesel.
And yet the smoke disappeared
absorbed by that suburban hill:
the problem of disposal was
solved by the lungs of the people.
Two years ago we used to row
to an island here called Cockleshell:
gather cockles in a sack,
warm them up and gorge ourselves.
Annotated Poem
By Sam Hunt
Key:
Alliteration
Simile
Metaphor
Repetition
Rhyme/Internal Rhyme
Enjambment
Colloquial Language
Sibilance
6. By Sam Hunt
A BOTTLE CREEK BLUES
• 'The wind can't blow any harder', said in both the first and second-to-last lines, is an example of repetition. Its purpose is to help the reader
understand how the pollution of the environment does not change throughout the poem. The poet also uses repetition to express
frustration.
• 'The air itself is diesel' is an example of metaphor. The poet has included this technique to convey to the reader how serious the pollution
situation is, and to give a more graphic description of the scene. Many other techniques, such as 'the air's as heavy as Hell' and '...blue diesel
smoke like mist' (both similes) are also used to convey the enormity of the problem, as well as the poet's anger.
• The statement '...the s**t's cleared clean away with words', includes both colloquial language and alliteration, and their purpose is to show
the poet's anger towards the pollution and lack of meaningful action around the situation regarding the pollution. Through other colloquial
language and words with strong connotations, the poet was able to show his emotions within the poem.
• Enjambment is used throughout the poem. The poem is written like a person might speak it. Enjambment used in specific places makes its
shape and format appear more typical for a poem, while also making it more interesting to read.
• 'Barefeet on the beach is madness', is an example of both a metaphor and alliteration. Its purpose is to show how the beach has changed
from a place once enjoyed by many people into a hazardous area. Alliteration has been used throughout the poem because it helps to
maintain the reader's interest, draws attention to important phrases, and is memorable. Several key examples of alliteration are 'sad protest
songs are sung', and 'hanging on a high suburban hill'.
Annotated Poem - Commentary
7. By Sam Hunt
A BOTTLE CREEK BLUES
I really enjoyed reading the poem 'A Bottle Creek Blues' by Sam Hunt. It told a very interesting story of how pollution affected a
landscape.
I felt that the main theme of the poem was how the pollution remained a big problem at Bottle Creek. I really liked how the poet
conveyed his emotions within the poem by using colloquial language and words with strong connotations. I think the general tone
of the poem ranged between frustration and sadness.
One feature of the poem that I found quite interesting was the structure. The poem is written like a normal paragraph that
somebody could speak in a conversation. However, use of enjambment makes the poem appear more conventional in terms of
structure.
I think that one of the most important parts of the poem was the use of simile and metaphor. This use of these techniques is what
really brought the poem to life and painted pictures of places and scenes in my head.
There was nothing that I disliked about this poem. I thought that every technique and sentence was there for a reason. The poem
felt very well crafted and the language was natural.
Personal Response
