Applying lessons learned from operating computer systems to how complex human relationships interact. Specifically, it's better to have conflict and resolve it than put it off as long as possible.

1. Operating Human Systems:
MTBF v. MTTR
Aaron Aldrich (@crayzeigh) — (@elastic)
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2. Mean Time Between Failures
Mean Time To Recovery
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3. complex systems
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4. we design for reliability:
4 stiff boundaries, layers, formalisms
4 defense in depth
4 redundancy
4 interference protection
4 assurance & accountability
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5. we want resilience:
4 withstand transients
4 recover swiftly & smoothly from failures
4 prioritize to serve high level goals
4 recognize & respond to abnormal situations
4 adapt to change
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6. failure aversion leads to
kludge and tech debt
relational debt is a real
thing
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7. unpaid debt leads to
catastrophic failure
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8. there is no root cause to failure in
{ complex systems | relationships }
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9. blamelessness (just culture) is required
for improvement
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10. experience with failure is
necessary
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11. if we do not experience
failure, we are not living to
our potential
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12. lessons from networking:
TCP > UDP
avoid feelings of not being
heard
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13. "What you're saying is 'X',
what I'm hearing is 'Y'."
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14. lessons from distributed
systems:
translations are hard
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15. assume good intent
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16. /zoom
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17. tooling:
Non-Violent Communication
Observation, Feeling, Needs, Requests
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18. NVC Framework
1. Observation: !== evaluation || judgement
2. Feelings: !== thinking, [SASHET]
3. Needs: connection, well-being, honestly, play, peace,
autonomy, meaning
4. Requests: what we DO want, != demand
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19. NVC Framework
1. Observation: !== evaluation || judgement
2. Feelings: !== thinking, [SASHET]
3. Needs: connection, well-being, honestly, play, peace,
autonomy, meaning
4. Requests: what we DO want, != demand
Aaron Aldrich - @crayzeigh 19

20. 2: Richard Cook - "How Complex Systems Fail" (http://bit.ly/2mKO8UL)(pdf)
3-4: Velocity 2012: Richard Cook - "How Complex Systems Fail"
(https://youtu.be/2S0k12uZR14)
9: Philip G Boysen, II, MD, MBA, FACP, FCCP, FCCM - "Just Culture: A Foundation for
Balanced Accountability and Patient Safety" (http://bit.ly/2DgJM1Z)
13: Certified Fresh Events: "Oh No You Didn't: Conflict Management in Today's Tech
Industry" (https://certifiedfreshevents.com/events/conflict-management/)
17: The Center for Non-Violent Communication (https://www.cnvc.org/)
thanks!
Aaron Aldrich - @crayzeigh 20