Paul had column on the front page of the Dallas Morning News. Every time Paul wanted me to contact him, he would put something about me in one of his articles. So I would immediately give him a ring. He is missed but I remember him fondly.

1. REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION OF THE DALLAS MORNING NEWS. June 2007

2. Remembering Paul Crume
Shortly after my wife and I were married, we moved to
Dallas and over the years I developed and owned several
businesses. It was our home for forty plus years until we
retired to Florida.
Being a ”Type A” personality I came into contact with a
book full of great people during those years. There were
articles published and news interviews about my
involvement in the making of “ag” helicopters, sales of
commercial printing equipment and photographic supplies,
new home sales for Fox & Jacobs Construction and the
partnership printing of the “Jesse Curry JFK Assassination
Report”, donation of mopeds for park police, and major
donations to the Dallas Police “Officer of The Year”
awards over several years.
Feb. 24, 1912 / Nov. 16, 1975
I was interviewed several times by Alex Burton on radio, Featured on Channel 13 for our donations of Art
Work, collectibles, and fire arms for their auctions. TV, radio and newspaper articles about my chairmanship
of The Dallas Bonehead Awards, several weddings in our home such as artist Dmitri Vail and Patricia Liechty,
and because one of my major companies made sub-miniature electronic surveillance and communication
equipment for the Federal Government and law enforcement agencies as well as private investigators (some
equipment used in the Watergate break-in). I was featured in many newspaper articles as well as many TV and
radio interviews.
I tell you this because of all the media personalities I came into contact with, none left a more lasting
memory than Paul Crume. Paul was the “Front Page” writer of note with his “Big D” column. A few times we
broke bread at the old Blue Front Cafe near the paper. We always had some laughs and he was always
available for a tip idea or a good laugh for his column.
Paul ran several articles having to do with me or my wife in the ‘70’s. Several I I kept and put in our
family scrapbook. Every time my wife or I get the scrapbook out all the great memories of our years in Dallas
return.
This is why I want to share some of his home spun, down to earth style that made him such a rich and
enjoyable person. I have selected a few of my favorites and have included them in this PowerPoint
presentation.
Bradford J. Angers

3. “Siamese-twin’
bananas grown
By EDITH HANBY McROBERTS
Garden Editor
JAN ANGERS decided awhile back that
she wanted a banana tree in the den, so her
husband, Brad Angers, bought one. It was
two feet tall.
“You know, of course, that it won’t
live,” the nurseryman told Angers.
Mrs. Angers tended the banana tree
carefully, and it did live, a fact which
Angers reported to his landscape man.
“Well, you know, of course, that they
won’t ever bear,” said the nurseryman.
The Angers banana tree is now about 25
feet tall and is pushing at the roof of the
den, about to bear some bananas.
It all goes to prove that love and
affection can conquer almost anything.
One of the highlights of living in our part
of the country is the fruit that can be grown
in one’s own back yard. Mrs. Jan Angers of
Dallas has enjoyed fresh fruit from her back
yard for several years now.
Included in the yearly harvest are delicious
bananas that developed and ripened in the
two-story garden room built by her husband
at their home near White Rock.
More than half of the bananas produced by
Mrs. Angers this season were “Siamesetwin” bananas and measured as much a 9-11
inches around as compared with the single
fruits that measured 5 to 6 inches in
circumference. These bananas have been in
the garden and green house of the Angers for
almost 8 years now; at first, they grew the
trees out-of-doors, but with the completion of
the greenhouse-solarium, they were moved
inside and planted in the indoor soil where
they have continued to grow and become
fruit-producing for the past two years.
The Angers’ banana tree flowers were also
a welcome addition to their indoor garden
area. It was with regret that they had to cut
back the trees to the ground following their
harvest.

4. Human Seeks Reform
WHAT’S IN A NAME? Maybe
Shakespeare didn’t know but Brad Angers
thinks he does.
His sister, Bernice, is married to B.
Harley Human, a name which causes
some comment in itself. Mr. Human runs
a company called the Human Oil Co. If
you don’t know the number and telephone
Southwestern Bell information for it, you
get a certain built-in rebellion for awhile.
Mrs. Human’s personal license plate
reads “B HUMAN.”
And Mr. Human is running this year for
the Legislature: His motto: “Put a Human
in the Legislature.”
April 20, 1972
Bill Human
Bill Human, an independent businessman,
is seeking the Democratic nomination for
the District 33-M seat in the State House of
Representatives.
President and manager of Human Oil and
Supply Co., Human lives at 4047 Dalgreen.
He has been a resident of the LakewoodEast White Rock area which is now District
33-M, for 26 years.
Human feels the most important issue in
the campaign is reform of the rules under
which the Legislature operates.
He also has promised to work for law
enforcement with justice, a better system of
welfare, fair taxation and a firm ethics bill,
compelling elected officials to give
complete financial disclosure.
Human is married and has three sons. He
attended St. Mary’s University in San
Antonio, is a member of St. Thomas
Aquinas Catholic Church, and is a veteran
of World War II.

5. Vol. 121---No. 125
Paul Crume’s
BRAD ANGERS and his secretary were trying to find out
how to spell "cocktail" the other day. They couldn't find the
word in any of the office dictionaries and had to look it up in
the yellow pages.
While Southwestern Bell may be the only telephone
company in town, it is not, b'gad the only person who can
spell "cocktail." Our office Webster duly lists it with the
comment that it is probably a combination of "cock" and
"tail," a singularly cautions guess when you come to think
about it.
The authority on "cocktail," naturally was H. L. Mencken,
the Sage of Baltimore, who was reputed to have been able to
recognize one the minute he saw it.
Mencken noted that the cocktail "to multitudes of foreigners
seems to be the greatest of all the contributions of the
American way of life to the salvation of humanity."
In some ways Mr. Mencken seems to have shared that
opinion.
In a lifetime of word hunting, he unearthed almost a dozen
derivation for "cocktail." None seems entirely hold water,
much less the potent cocktail juices.
ONE STORY is that the cocktail was invented by Antoine Peychaud,
a convivial apothecary who moved from Santo Domingo to New Orleans
in the 1790's. He liked to entertain his friends with toddies mixed in his
own exotic way, and he served them in a double-ended egg cup called a
coquetier, thus giving the drink its name.
This sounds like the romantic stuff spun by a New Orleans publicity
man after too long a session at the Sazerac Bar, but it could be true.
Peychaud seems to have been a benefactor of mankind. He invented
Peychaud bitters and is said to have invented the Sazerac cocktail, an
undoubted boon to mankind if taken in quantities of one or less.
One authority on cock fighting has contended that the word came from
a mixture of flour bread and various alcoholic leavings and beneficial
plants fed to fighting cocks. It was called "cock ale" and is supposed to
have' picked up a "t" as a result of American corruption.
Still another authority said the word came from the practice at the end
of a fight of toasting the cock with the most feathers left in his tail. The
number of ingredients was supposed to match the number of feathers.
ANOTHER AUTHORITY has argued that the term came from
"cock-tailing," the practice of throwing the tailings of various liquors
into a common container and selling them cheaply as a high octane slop.
Probably, it is 'best just to say that "cocktail" seems to be a mixed
metaphor.
Anyhow, Americans have been busily mixing them for the better part
of 200 years. They have created some truly remarkable ones, the horse's
neck, the bull-shot, the French 75 and the damn the weather cocktail, in
addition, to the classic ones.
Mr. Mencken himself created a number. As I remember it, he and a
friend once sat down and figured out how many kinds of cocktails could
be made out of the ingredients at a good bar, and the figure came out,
something like 17 billion, some better than others.

6. BRAD ANGERS came in with this gleam in his
eye, which usually means that you would be better
off if you hid in another part of the building.
He said that he had acquired this replica of a
1901 Ford horseless carriage and would be glad
to take me for a ride. I said that I regarded it as
dangerous to ride in a carriage without a horse,
but he said this was nonsense. Be forward
looking, he said. Believe in progress.
We went downstairs and looked at the horseless
carriage. It looked like a four-wheeled bicycle with
some stuff built in between the wheels.
I said there wasn't room for two men on the
seat, and he conceded that the seat was probably
built for an overly amorous man and his girl. I said
the wheels wouldn't hold up the two of us, and he
asked me whether I was chickening out. He told
me to make up my mind whether I was game for a
ride. I wasn't, but I said I was.
The guard at the parking lot held up three large
trucks and two cars while he tried to get us out of
his sight.
Then this Angers sped away like the wind at 20
miles an hour. I noticed that he was steering with
a tiller rather than a wheel, and this made me
nervous. A tiller can go haywire with the wrong
kind of wind. Attached to the tiller was one of
those bulb-type horns which you squirt. Angers
was squirting this frequently, attracting the
attention of everybody.
This was very distasteful to me. I have not paid
my income tax yet, and I had just as soon that
nobody noticed me when I walk by with my hat
pulled over my eyes.
I DISCOVERED very quickly that auto safety has
progressed beyond belief since 1901. In a horseless
carriage, you sail along out there in front of the
machine so that you will take the impact in case of a
collision. The valuable machine will not be damaged.
Also, there is no place to hang on in the horseless
carriage. The top doesn't have any substantial stays'
and the flooring is so light that it would probably tear
away in a crash. You just have to sit up there and
believe God is with you, and my recent behavior has
been such that I am not confident of that.
Angers kept telling me how he was getting 70 miles
to the gallon of gasoline.
I remember figuring out that a gallon of gasoline
would be all that a man needed in a lifetime at the
rate we were going.
MOSTLY, DURING the ride, I sat rigid and repeated
the Coue formula to myself. There was this stupid
policeman who could have stopped the whole caper.
By any standards, Angers was driving recklessly,
wheeling around corners at 10 miles an hour and so
on. The policeman could have stopped him but just
stood there with his jaw hanging down.
The next time I place myself in harm's way I will not
depend on any police officer to help if I am in a
horseless carriage.
We finally got back to the office, and I bade Angers
godspeed at 70 miles to the gallon and borrowed a
Kleenex to wipe my forehead.
The guard asked whether I was going to buy one
of the little cars. "I hadn't even thought about it," I
said.
And I still haven't.

7. The Dallas Morning News
Friday, September 17, 1971
Vail-Liechty
Vows Read
Mrs. Patricia Ann
Liechy became the bride
of well-known painter
Dmitri Vail in a ceremony
Sept. 12 in the home of
Mr. And Mrs. Brad
Angers, 7770 Goforth
Circle.
The Rev. Dr. Patrick
Henry officiated.
The couple will live at
his
address,
4245
Armstrong. The new Mrs.
Vail has been residing at
6738 Northport.
Mr. and Mrs. Angers
were honor attendants.
The bride is a board
member of the North
Dallas
Chamber
of
Commerce.
DMITRI VAIL and Mrs. Pat Liechty
were married, the other day in a
private ceremony at the home of
Brad Angers.
The minister of the Northway
Christian
Church
read
the
ceremony.
“What did you say the name of
the minister was?” Vail asked
Angers later.
“Patrick Henry:”
Said Vail: Wasn’t he famous for
saying something besides the
marriage service.”
Dmitri paints Brad and Jan

8. MR. AND MRS. Brad Angers came
here from Michigan. During the recent
Shrine convention, they kind of adopted
the members of the Moslem Temple who
came from Michigan. Angers and his wife
spent a lot of time driving the Michigan
Shriners around town and threw swim
party and steak barbecue for them, after the
convention was over.
The other day Mrs. Angers got a box of
candy and a note of thanks from the
Shriners.
“And here’s something for you,” she said
to Angers, producing a note. “They’ve
made you a member of the Moslem
Temple Legion of Honor.”
Angers said that was quite an honor since
he wasn’t even a Mason.
“Don't let it go to your head,” she
retorted. “They’ve already give it to two
people --Harry Truman and John Wayne.

9. A WHILE BACK Janet Angers got interested
in building miniature terrariums, and one was a
desert terrarium.
She and her husband, Brad, started shopping
around for miniature succulents and other tiny
plants which could be used. One nurseryman
produced a dwarf cactus, which he said would
never grow to be more than an inch or two tall, "I
guarantee it," he said.
They took the little cactus home, and sure
enough, it grew almost none at all for a long time.
Then Mrs. Angers wondered what would happen
if she fertilized the terrariums, and she tried it,
One day, while they weren't watching, the
dwarf cactus had grown to three inches. Then
suddenly, with no warning at all, it was six inches
tall.
The Angers’ are also amateur greenhouse
people. Angers yanked the cactus out of the
terrarium before something terrible happened, put
it in a pot and set it in the greenhouse.
The plant seemed almost malevolent in
its growth. While nobody was looking,
it grew to three feet.
Brad put it in a large pot, and
suddenly it was six feet tall.
At that point, he took his problem to
Dr. Prem Chand and John J. Hill at the
Dallas Garden Center, and they told him
he had been sold a bill of cactus.
They said, the plant was a Peruvianus
Glaucus, a giant variety of cactus which
might reach any size.
”I was lucky to get it out of the house
before it ruined the roof," says Angers.
The plant is now at the Dallas Garden
Center, and no telling how big it will be
when you see it. If it shrinks any,
however, it will ruin a good story.

10. Deer botfly
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
SEVERAL MONTHS AGO, says Brad Angers, this
column ran a flat statement that the cheetah is the fastest
thing alive. This seems hardly likely as I always leave an
escape hatch.
Anyhow, Angers is one of us people who cannot bear
to have anybody be flatly right. He went to work, and
after all these months of work, he has discovered a piece
in the Encyclopedia Britannica by the C.H.T. Townsend
says he clocked one a 81.5 miles an hour.
A man ought to be wary of these country stopwatches.
Most of those old West Texas boys who ran the 100
yards in 9.8 actually couldn’t beat 10.1.
Anyhow, if this beast was going that fast, how could
Townsend tell it was botfly?
The name deer botfly is used to refer to any species in the genus
Cephenemyia, within the family Oestridae. They are large flies,
often very accurate mimics of bumblebees, and are internal
parasites of deer.
It was reported for many years that Cephenemyia was the fastest
of all flying insects, cited by the New York Times and Guinness
Book of World Records as traveling at speeds of over 800 miles
per hour. The source of this remarkable claim was an article by
entomologist Charles H. T. Townsend in the 1927 Journal of the
New York Entomological Society, wherein Townsend claimed to
have estimated a speed of 400 yards per second while observing
botflies at 12,000 feet in New Mexico.
In 1938 Irving Langmuir, recipient of the 1932 Nobel Prize in
Chemistry, examined the claim in detail and refuted the estimate.
Among his specific criticisms were:
• To maintain a velocity of 800 miles per hour, the 0.3-gram fly
would have had to consume more than 150% of its body weight in
food every second;
• The fly would have produced an audible sonic boom;
• The supersonic fly would have been invisible to the naked eye;
and
• The impact trauma of such a fly colliding with a human body
would resemble that of a gunshot wound.
Using the original report as a basis, Langmuir estimated the deer
botfly's true speed at 25 miles per hour.
(Note that the gunshot wound would only resemble that
from a small bullet.)
….Do I owe Paul Crume an apology?

11. DOLORES BROWN runs a consignment shop
called the Back Porch in the Knox Street
neighborhood. An assignment shop is a place where
people consign rare, unusual and sometimes
worthless objects for sale.
She mostly has a collection of antiques and rare
glass, but Brad Angers, a friend, visited her place the
other day and found that one item was four rusty
horseshoe nails bound together by a rubber band.
“You’re pulling my leg,” he protested. “Who
would buy this?”
“Oh, there’s a buyer for everything,” she told him.
About that time a sedate looking gentleman
walked up with his wife, looked at the horseshoe
nails asked the price and bought them.
“I’m going to buy these,” he explained a little
abashedly to people at large, “to show the people at
the office what all people will buy.”
BRAD ANGERS dropped into a small downtown
restaurant the other day and ordered a double coke.
As you may have noticed, they normally come in a
glass filled with shaved ice. As it happens, Angers
doesn’t much like ice.
“Give me a large coke,” he said, “and easy on the
ice.”
The proprietor was standing nearby.
“That’ll cost you a nickel extra,” he said.
“Isn’t that unusual?” asked the surprised Angers.
The proprietor turned out to be a friendly and
genial man. “It’s the price-cost squeeze,” he
explained. “If I sold you that big coke without all
the ice, I’d be losing a nickel on it. So it costs an
extra nickel, though I don’t like it either”
This seemed reasonable to Angers.
“How much, “ he asked, “are those dime candy
bars that used to be a nickel?”
“They're 12 cents,” said the grinning cafe man.
“Give me two quick,” Angers ordered, “before
they go up.”

12. “Washington advises the public that
there may be a sugar shortage as a
result of the Cuban embargo.”
Paul Crume’s
THEY SAY that women’s hats haven’t
sold so well since these beehive hairdos
came in.
Brad Angers happened into a hat shop
the other day and found the woman
proprietor at work carefully flicking the
dust off her stock with a feather duster.
“My those are beautiful hats,” said
Angers.
“Thank you” replied the shop keeper.
“The flowers on them are so fresh that
they look as if you watered them”
“I do”, said the shopkeeper, solemnly.
“How’s that? What do you mean?”
“I weep over them,” said the unsmiling
saleswoman.
BRAD ANGERS and his wife got tired of watching the slaughter
during the first half of the Cowboy game Sunday. They flipped off
the TV set.
“Let’s go to a show.” he suggested.
They drove to a theater in a shopping center on the north side of
town but found they would have a 45-minute wait before the movie
started. Mrs. Angers needed a few groceries and suggested that they
pick them up at a nearby grocery while they were waiting.
While they were shopping, a bit of commotion broke out in the
back corner of the store. It was like the opening minutes at a fire sale.
It turned out that the store had just put out a supply of sugar, and
dozens of women were grabbing up the bags.
On the way out, the Angers stopped at the checking counter behind
a woman who had bought 10 10-pound sacks of sugar.
“Do you think you have enough sugar to last you,” he asked,
joshingly.
She said seriously: “I decided I had better stock up before the
hoarders get to it.”

13. BRAD ANGERS straightened up rather
suddenly while driving down Central the
other day. The white Cadillac in front of him
bore the U.S. presidential seal.
He later discovered that it was merely a
decal. Then he got to wondering whether it
was legal even to display a decal of the
seal.
He telephoned the Dallas FBI offices and
got hold of the agent in charge of such
matters. Angers described what he had
seen.
“Is it legal to use the presidential seal like
this?” he asked.
There was a long silence at the FBI end.
“You know, I don’t know whether it’s legal
or not,” the agent finally confessed. “I’ll
have to look it up, But I'll tell you one thing.
It’s illegal to display Smokey the Bear.
We’ve got a law on that.”
HAROLD EBERHARDT of Austin was
among a bunch of people watching some
builders try to hoist some bricks on a stage at
a building going up in the Northlake Shopping
Center.
It wasn’t going very well when a man in the
crowd yelled over and asked the man in
charge why he didn’t try a single line. They
tried it, and it worked.
The foreman came over to shake the man’s
hand.
“You ought to be in the construction game,”
he said.
The man grinned and handed over a card.
He was Brad Angers of Fox & Jacobs.

14. BRAD ANGERS IS a partner in the Detection Devices
Division of Central Detective Academy.
His division manufactures electronic surveillance
equipment, bugs and other things if you want to get nasty.
Mostly, they deal with law enforcement officials, but
Angers has run into some individuals with whom he had no
sympatico. He had just as soon they didn't remember who
he is.
He and his wife went to a steak house the other night. At
a table across the way was a man and his wife. The man
looker very familiar to him.
Angers was a little afraid to greet him. He might be one
of those men.
Curiosity got the better of him. He finally said to the man
across the way, "I don't mean to intrude, but you look
awfully familiar."
The stranger got red in the face. Then he and his wife
exchanged worried looks before he said, "I'm George
Patzig, justice of the peace of Precinct 2."
"Oh, that's where we met," said Angers. His partner, Bill
Tarpley, had tried a case in the judge's court.
The judge also had reason, because of the people who
had appeared before his bench, to wish that some people
didn't remember who he was.
After the initial dive into the cold water of doubt, says
Angers, they had fine evening.
“PERSISTENCE finally pays off,“ Lee McShan,
the florist, told Brad Angers the other day.
“What do you mean?” Angers asked.
McShan reminded him that when Angers first
came to Dallas the McShan shop had
delivered one rose to Mrs. Angers on their first
anniversary. It began a custom that Angers
has kept up. Each year he has added a rose.
The Angers recently celebrated their 10th
anniversary.
“I am finally beginning to make a profit you,”
McShan said.

15. BRAD ANGERS and his wife were
watching the St. Louis- Miami football
game night before last. They were both
pulling hard for St. Louis.
Then St. Louis fumbled just before the
half.
”Well,”remarked Mrs. Angers,“ I don’t
think St. Louis is going to win this
game.”
“Can’t you think positive?”
complained her husband.
“All right,” replied Mrs. Angers, “I am
positive that St. Louis is not going to
win this game.”
They didn’t either.
BRAD ANGERS and his wife were shopping for a
new car a few years ago, traveling around in their
station
wagon.
He
became
increasingly
disenchanted with the cars he saw.
“Tell you what,” he said. “Why don’t we just drive
this station wagon a few years and take the money
we would use on monthly payments and put it in
savings.”
They did, the fund filled to overflowing oftener that
you would imagine and was used for a number of
things.
Angers has taken meticulous care of the station
wagon. He dropped by his garage the other day.
“You know,” said one of the mechanics there, “that
is the best looking ‘67 station wagon I’ve ever seen.”
“Yes, and that’s not all you’re seeing in it,” said
Angers. “That also represents a $5,000.00 organ for
my wife and two South American vacations.”

16. BRAD ANGERS recently decided to
rebuild his lawn. He spent a scad of
money, moving in new topsoil, put in an
expensive sprinkler system and bought
the best San Augustine that he could find.
Despite all the care the lawn hasn’t
turned out as spectacular.
Recently, he was driving down Woodall
Rodgers Freeway. As everybody knows
by now, this is probably the largest dead
end street in the world. He noticed
beautiful San Augustine growing up
between the cracks in the asphalt.
It seems to imply that you ought to
pave your lawn with asphalt if you want
good grass.
RAY HALL is president of Pioneer Distributors and busies
himself with selling things like fishing tackle around the country
at state fairs. He is, however, a retired tugboat captain, and this
explains a recent response to a question by Brad Angers.
Hall had complained that the people at state fairs were just not
buying the way they had in years past.
Angers asked Hall what he thought of the way President Ford
was handling the nation’s economy.
“I feel,” said the former tugboat captain “like a shanghaied
sailor in a ship with a hole in its bottom under a captain who is
yelling. “Head for deep water.”

17. TIME WAS when no hep cat would confess
to listening to longhair music, but the terms
have apparently changed.
Brad Angers stopped at a music store the
other day to pick up something by Beethoven.
He wanted to use it as background music for
a recording of his own that he was making.
“Where is your Beethoven?” he asked the
clerk finally, after being unable to find it on
his own.
“Over there,” said the clerk, pointing to a
corner.
Angers found the Beethoven he wanted
under a wall sign that, Shorthair Music.”
Definitely No Gas Gulper
The unfamiliar sight of a 1901 Ford, the original “horseless
carriage,” greeted Texaco station attendant Louis Williams
Sunday as Brad and Janet Angers, 7770 Goforth Circle,
paused in their drive around White Rock Lake to purchase 30
cents worth of regular gasoline. Angers, an antique car buff,
said his vehicle gets 50 to 74 miles per gallon (4-gallon
capacity).

18. Brad & Jan Angers
June 2007