1. Emotional Intelligence Magdalena Kishizawa, PeOrgConsult "Knowing others and knowing oneself, in one hundred battles no danger. Not knowing the other and knowing oneself, one victory for one loss. Not knowing the other and not knowing oneself, in every battle certain defeat." Sun Tzu, The Art of War Amsterdam, 20/21.08.2010

2. Agenda – Let`s talk E-Motions 1 Emotional Intelligence – What is it? Concept of Multiple Intelligence Levels of Relationships Definition Emotions 2 Five core abilities of EQ 3 Emotional Talk 4 Emotional Intelligence of Groups

5. gaining of knowledge through feedback from physical activity

7. According to Goleman, Interpersonal and Intrapersonal intelligence belong to Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Emotional Intelligence: Inter- and Intrapersonal Intelligence Interpersonal Effective Communication Conflict Management Recognising and managing Emotions of Others Stress Handling Techniques Self Management Keeping motivated Recognising and managing own Emotions Intrapersonal

8. Three Levels of Relationsships

9. Karpmann Drama Triangle

11. Emotional intelligence is involved in the capacity to perceive emotions, assimilate emotion-related feelings, understand the information of those emotions, and manage them.

12. understanding yourself, your goals, intentions, responses, behavior and all.

13. understanding others, and their feelings.

14. “What is your EQ? It’s not a number. But emotional intelligence may be best predictor of success in life, redefining what it means being smart.” (Time, 1995)

15. E.g. partners in a multinational consulting firm, who scored above the median on 9 or more of the 20 competencies delivered $1.2 million more profit from their accounts than did other partners.Literature: Mayer, J. D., Salovey, P., & Caruso, D. R. (2000). Models of emotional intelligence. In R. J. Sternberg (Ed.). Handbook of Intelligence (pp. 396-420). Cambridge, England: Cambridge University Press.

16. Emotional Intelligence in Job

17. Five Core Abilities of Emotional Intelligence Knowing one’s emotions. Managing emotions leading it, having under control. Motivating oneself. Recognising emotions in others Handling relationships.

19. Sadness

20. Anxiety

21. Depression

22. Envy

23. Guilt

24. Shame

25. Enjoyment

26. Confidence

27. Happiness

28. Love

29. Joy

30. Pride

31. Grief

32. Hate

33. Anger

34. Rejection

35. Fear

36. Loneliness

37. Aggression

39. Our Own Emotions

40. Our Own Emotions

41. Our Own Emotions

42. Our Own Emotions

43. Our Own Emotions

44. Emotional Talk - tools

45. Managing Emotions – Blueprint Method Five steps to solve emotional dilemmas: You identify that your client is in negative mood You realise that as result he is very unlikely to be open to a discussion about project delay You understand that he is in a bad mood, and wisely attribute it to his own overall experiences You manage your emotions by taking the frustration and leverage it is power (energy) to increase your today’s performance

47. Realise that I need to adjust my strategy

48. Positive start – Small Talk

50. Open Questions I have six honest serving men. They taught me all I knew. Their names are what and why and when; And how and where and who. Rudyard Kipling, The Elephants Child, 1902

52. Realise that I need to adjust my strategy

54. Negative versus Positive Language

55. Using ‘I’ Instead of ‘You’ When using the word “You” to a customer, your finger “is pointing at the chest” of the customer. It’s better to use the word “I”.

56. Talking about Own Emotions Telling someone directly and honestly how you feel can be a very powerful form of communication. Be specific about what do you feel. Vague statements are hard to work on. Avoid accusations in case of negative emotions. Accusations will cause others to defend themselves. Instead, talk about how someone's actions made you feel. Don't generalize. Avoid words like "never" or "always." Such generalizations are usually inaccurate and will heighten tensions.

57. Talking about Own Emotions Reflection of content and feelings: To show that you’re understanding the speaker’s experience To allow the speaker to evaluate his/her feelings after hearing them expressed by someone else

58. Emotional Group Normsfrom: Vanessa UrchDruskat, Steven B. Wolff. Building the Emotional Intelligence of Groups. Harvard Business Review 03/2001 Emotional Intelligence in Groups

59. A Model of Team Effectiveness better decisions, more creative solutions, higher productivity participation, cooperation, collaboration trust, identity, efficacy group emotional intelligence

60. EI of Groups: Norms That Create Awareness of Emotions - Individual Interpersonal Understanding Take time away from group tasks to get to know one another. Have a “check in” at the beginning of the meeting – ask how everyone is doing. Assume that undesirable behavior takes place for a reason. Find out what that reason is. Ask questions and listen. Avoid negative attributions. Tell your teammates what you’re thinking and how you’re feeling. Perspective Taking Ask whether everyone agrees with a decision. Ask quiet members what they think. Question decisions that come too quickly. Appoint a devil’s advocate.

61. EI of Groups: Norms That Create Awareness of Emotions - Group Team Self-Evaluation Schedule time to examine team effectiveness. Create measurable task and process objectives and then measure them. Acknowledge and discuss group moods. Communicate your sense of what is transpiring in the team. Allow members to call a “process check.” (For instance, a team member might say, “Process check: is this the most effective use of our time right now?”) Seeking Feedback Ask your “customers” how you are doing. Post your work and invite comments. Benchmark your processes.

62. EI of Groups: Norms That Create Awareness of Emotions - Cross-Boundary Organizational Understanding Find out the concerns and needs of others in the organization. Consider who can influence the team’s ability to accomplish its goals. Discuss the culture and politics in the organization. Ask whether proposed team actions are congruent with the organization’s culture and politics.

63. EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions - Individual Confronting Set ground rules and use them to point out errant behavior. Call members on errant behavior. Create playful devices for pointing out such behavior. These often emerge from the group spontaneously. Reinforce them. Caring Support members: volunteer to help them if they need it, be flexible, and provide emotional support. Validate members’ contributions. Let members know they are valued. Protect members from attack. Respect individuality and differences in perspectives. Listen. Never be derogatory or demeaning.

64. EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions - Groups Creating Resources for Working with Emotion Make time to discuss difficult issues, and address the emotions that surround them. Find creative, shorthand ways to acknowledge and express the emotion in the group. Create fun ways to acknowledge and relieve stress and tension. Express acceptance of members’ Creating an Affirmative Environment Reinforce that the team can meet a challenge. Be optimistic. For example, say things like: “We can get through this” or “Nothing will stop us.” Focus on what you can control. Remind members of the group’s important and positive mission. Remind the group how it solved a similar problem before. Focus on problem solving, not blaming.

65. EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions - Groups Solving Problems Proactively Anticipate problems and address them before they happen. Take the initiative to understand and get what you need to be effective. Do it yourself if others aren’t responding. Rely on yourself, not others.

66. EI of Groups: Norms that Help Regulate Emotions – Cross-Boundaries Building External Relationships Create opportunities for networking and interaction. Ask about the needs of other teams. Provide support for other teams. Invite others to team meetings if they might have a stake in what you are doing.

67. About Magdalena Kishizawa Magdalena is a coach and trainer with a successful track record over ten years in providing leadership development support and executive coaching as consultant. She worked for such companies as SAP AG (HR Department at Service & Support Executive Board), Kienbaum Management Consultants GmbH and O&P Consult AG (as consultant) Because of her business and private experiences (like working and living in Germany, Poland and United Kingdom and her personal connection to Japan) Magdalena has a deep understanding of challenges of culture differences in business environment. She studied psychology, business administration and education science; is CIPD member; has finished a course in systemical coaching (accredited by German Psychology Association) Since 2008 is Managing Director at PeOrg Consult Ltd.

68. Your Contact:Magdalena Kishizawa PeOrgConsult Ltd 62 Broadgate LaneHosforth, Leeds United Kingdom www.peorg-consult.com mkishizawa@peorg-consult.com P +44 113 815 2050 (England) M +44 77 47575373 (England) M +49 173 3405881 (Germany) PeOrg Consult Ltd