In many cases divorce is not a devastating loss, on the contrary, it may make you happy or relieved, but in most cases, all of a sudden finding oneself not being part of a couple hits us hard.

1. Bouncing Back after a Rupture or Divorce
If you are going through a divorce or a romantic break-up you may be experiencing many
emotions....from anger, fear, disappointment, hopelessness toward the future, sadness, to grief (this
emotion sometimes is not recognized, but it can be real).
In many cases divorce is not a devastating loss, on the contrary, it may make you happy or relieved,
but in most cases, all of a sudden finding oneself not being part of a couple hits us hard and
sometimes we ask,
• How was I wrong?
• What mistake did I make?
• Could I have done something different?
• How did I not realize what was happening before?
To go through a divorce or romantic break-up, you close a chapter in your life, but it does not end
your life. In front of you is a path that you can walk down with strength and hope.
If you feel any bitterness in your soul, let it go. It is not healthy to keep negative feelings inside. If
you think you are doing harm to your former spouse, you are wrong. The person you are doing harm
to is really yourself. Therefore, forgive and go on with your life.
In the system "The Eleven Principles of Transformation" in the third principle "Go Deeper into the
Spiritual Dimension" I elaborate on the issue of forgiveness (besides gratitude and love). If we learn
to forgive, we empower ourselves. We choose to be happy and transform any romantic loss into an
extraordinary gain.
P.S. Part of this article was taken from my book "Transform your Loss. Your Guide to Strength and
Hope"
Have a beautiful day,
Ligia M. Houben, MA, CGC, CPC
Certified Grief Counselor - Life Transitions Coach