2. Opening Thoughts I do not normally share my testimony as it is very personal to me ,but I want to build a relationship with everyone that comes to the site. I want to show you that I am willing to share and talk to you person to person .
3. Child Hood Child hood was one of the hardest times in my life. I mean I had friends was never picked on in school and got in trouble just like anyone else. But my problem was I never had someone I could honestly depend on mixed with a feeling that felt like a empty void when I was not around other people.
4. Middle School As time went on and I entered middle school things just got worse. I was still secretly depressed and with my friends being who they were and my parents working or drinking in a spa at night still felt alone and the void feeling growing more.
5. High School High school was my rock bottom. Right before I entered the 9th grade we moved from Arizona to California leaving everything. All the people I use to depend on to get threw the day was gone. Every thing I loved and worked on was gone. I just could not take it and I started to become anti-social to the point that I did not even look my family.
6. Middle of High School By now I was in Independent Study which is home school without your parents or teachers. You taught yourself everything. It was also because of this I was able to stay up all night with out worrying about waking up the next day. It was at night around 9 p.m. that I got a sudden urge to go for walk which was weird since I have not walked at night since I moved 2 or 3 years before that.
7. Found Since I did not have a mp3 player I was just walking alone at night thinking. I thought about everything and all the feelings, tears and pain came floating back all at once. I was not able to stand it so I went back in around 12 a.m. and some how managed to get enough strength and courage to email my pastor. I called him my pastor cause I went to church ,but never paid attention or even tried to keep a open mind. At that time he was a pastor and not a friend. I will tell you telling someone let alone someone you see once a week that your not ok and asking for help was the hardest thing I think I ever done In my life.
8. Found I was not expecting a email back let alone a email that hit me as hard as it did. But in about a hour I got a response around 1 a.m. What he said and the verses just jumped at me like they were made just for me. It was at that moment my mind just rebooted. I stood up later then normal and I started to think about God and was wondering could this be it? Could this be the thing that I been feeling from the start? I started to read the bible and go to church and just gave myself to Christ.
9. The change As time went on I started to talk to people again. I started to volunteer at the church I even started walking daily just to keep the memory alive. The more I gave myself to Christ Jesus the better my life got. I now have friends at the church, go to study groups, got a better relationship with my family and to top it all off I not only became a better person I finally filled the void feeling I felt so long. I felt perfectly happy for one of the first times in life.
10. Last Thoughts I wrote this cause the whole week I been thinking about the past and everything that happen. I can look back at it and be glad it happen cause if just one of those events did not happen there is a chance I would not be here today to tell you my story. I am hoping this will touch you and show you that everyone goes through trials some worse then others ,but in the end if you put your faith and trust in Jesus and the Father your life will only get better. I also encourage you to email me and tell me your testimony or even just what is happening in your life that you want to tell someone about I am all ways more then willing to listen.
11. The Email Taylor I will be praying for you, and I would like to get together sometime and talk about this more in depth. A couple of scriptures I am reminded of are: (Psa 18:28-36) You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the LORD? And who is the Rock except our God? It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect. He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights. He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze. You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great. You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn. And also… (Isa 40:26-31) Lift your eyes and look to the heavens: Who created all these? He who brings out the starry host one by one, and calls them each by name. Because of his great power and mighty strength, not one of them is missing. Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel, "My way is hidden from the LORD; my cause is disregarded by my God"? Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. I hope this helps (a little) Praying
