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The Dictionary
1.
The Dictionary
2.
CIGARETTE: A
pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other!
3.
MARRIAGE: It's
an agreement wherein a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
4.
DIVORCE: Future
Tense of Marriage
5.
LECTURE: An
art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either
6.
CONFERENCE: The
confusion of one man multiplied by the number present
7.
COMPROMISE: The
art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece
8.
TEARS: The
hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water-power!
9.
DICTIONARY: A
place where divorce comes before marriage
10.
CONFERENCE ROOM:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on
11.
ECSTASY: A
feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before
12.
CLASSIC: A
book which people praise, but never read
13.
SMILE: A
curve that can set a lot of things straight!
14.
OFFICE: A
place where you can relax after your strenuous home life
15.
YAWN: The
only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth
16.
ETC: A
sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do
17.
COMMITTEE: Individuals
who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together
18.
EXPERIENCE: The
name men give to their Mistakes
19.
ATOM BOMB:
An invention to bring an end to all inventions
20.
PHILOSOPHER: A
fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead
21.
DIPLOMAT: A
person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip
22.
OPPORTUNIST: A
person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river
23.
OPTIMIST: A
person who while falling from EIFFEL TOWER says in midway "SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!"
24.
PESSIMIST:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY
25.
MISER: A
person who lives poor so that he can die RICH!
26.
FATHER: A
banker provided by nature
27.
CRIMINAL: A
guy no different from the other, unless he gets caught
28.
BOSS: Someone
who is early when you are late and late when you are early
29.
POLITICIAN: One
who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence Later
30.
DOCTOR: A
person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by Bills
31.
End Of Deck
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