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Self sabotage
1. SELF SABOTAGE
Self Sabotage as defined is the combination of thoughts, feelings and actions that
create an obstruction in achieving one’s own success by working against own self-
interest. This idea was rooted from the word sabotage which means a deliberate
action meant for weakening another entity through rebellion, disruption, or de-
struction.
However, the difference of both ideas is that one is intended for one’s own self in-
terest while the other is intended for another individual’s interest. It is said that
Self Sabotage is the opposite of self care due to the fact that individuals are al-
ready against for the betterment of themselves which means they choose to go to
the wrong decision rather on the right one because for them they have the freedom
to decide and choose for their life is up to them. Sometimes, in extreme cases the
idea of Self Sabotage acts as a self-fulfilling internalized death wish which is ulti-
mately due to the lack of self-esteem, self-confidence as well as self-worth.
In dealing with Self Sabotage it is important to know the root cause why this idea
occurs in one’s own mind. The common reasons why this negative mental idea ex-
ist is due to fear of success, unworthiness, lack of belief in one’s own abilities and
working against one’s own true desires. Basically it is like a game of mental tug-
of-war wherein the conscious mind or the acceptable ideas is fighting against the
subconscious mind or the unacceptable ideas whereas the subconscious mind al-
ways wins the battle. Another common cause of Self Sabotage according to some
individuals is stress.
As defined by the medical dictionary, stress is the result from interactions between
two individuals and their environmental demands or pressures that are perceived
as straining or exceeding to their adaptive capabilities and will eventually threat-
ens the individual’s well being. As stress affects an individual’s state of mind, it
comes up with Self Sabotage techniques which make them unaware on how dread-
ful they are in facing this kind of problems. The first technique is being a “type
A”.
People who rush anxiously and treat others with hostility are people who move in
the world of a ‘Type A” environment. They bring unnecessarily emotional stress
such as aggressiveness in dealing with relationships which sometimes result to
having health problems. The second technique is the Negative Self Talk or the ene-
my inside an individual’s head while the third one is the Poor Conflict Resolution
Skills wherein a person can no longer handle things well due to acting aggressive-
ly rather than doing simple assertiveness in solving a certain problem.
2. These individuals are the ones who let stress sink in and allow it to obliterate one’s
own mental capacity. The fourth technique is the Pessimism wherein in an individ-
ual’s state of mind perceives life negatively. It is a specific worldview that under-
mines a person’s belief in oneself which results to poorer health outcomes and
fewer positive life events. These individuals are unaware that they are already pes-
simist and usually view themselves as optimist. And lastly, the last technique is
the Taking on Too Much or the state wherein a person takes everything too much
and way overboard on what they can handle even though they know it will cause
chronic stress on their part. Having these Self Sabotage techniques will cause de-
struction to one’ self and it is important that individual’s should overcome these
destructions in order to develop healthy habits that will them feel more energized,
relaxed and balanced.
Since the denial is the defense mechanism of individuals who are sabotaging
themselves, the first step that they should do is admit that they have this kind of
problem by knowing how they have secretly sabotaging themselves. Some of the
proven manifestations that an individual is really sabotaging himself by wrongly
assuming that they are strengthening their position with others include fawning be-
fore people win their favor, expressing contrived concern for someone’s well be-
ing, making small talk to smooth out the edges, hanging onto someone’s every
word, looking for someone’s approval, asking if someone’s is angry with them,
fishing for a kind word, trying to impress someone, gossiping and explaining one’s
self to others.
If any of these given examples are present on a person, he must have a quick and
simple self assessment this may result to sabotaging oneself that which may cause
self problems or worst an extremely alarming act. Treatment for Self Sabotage in-
cludes both professional treatment and self help treatment. Professional treatment
encourages the individual to undergo Dialectical Behavior which the most effec-
tive and helpful treatment currently available for this problem. It is designed for
those individuals who have problems with intense emotions, impulsive behaviors
as well as having difficulties in dealing with other people.
This therapy will help the person to understand deeper their emotional problems
and behaviors by knowing their causes and they will also learn skills that can help
them overcome arguments with others that will cause them self-injury, problematic
eating behaviors and many other self destructing behaviors. These skills include
proper management of emotional states by analyzing emotional and behavioral
patterns which in a way will help them change there way of handling problems. As
for self help treatment, this is for those individuals who easily identify the changes
in their lives and professional treatment is no longer needed.
3. To start with self help treatment, the individual must make a two column list which
contains their healthy habits on the first column and on the next column are the ac-
tions or thoughts that hinder it form doing it. As the list is done, the individual
must think carefully and analyze all the words on the list. Realizing the situation
will make an individual take full responsibility towards its own action and wrong
doings. By doing this simple realization, Self Sabotage will no longer happen be-
cause the person can now identify their mistakes as well as the solution of these
problems in order to achieve a complete self-care which is a manifestation or a
better life.
>>Check out positive thinking techniques to overcome self sabotage