Lesson 9 in a series on the Sermon on the Mount. Adapted from materials by Dr. David Instone-Brewer at http://www.instonebrewer.com/visualSermons/Jesus-Divorce/_Sermon.htm. This was presented in two parts on November 18 and December 3, 2012. It is reproduced here as one lesson with the audio re-recorded to fit this format. The original was presented at Palm Desert Church of Christ by Dale Wells.

1. BREAKING UP IS HARD ON YOU
Matthew 5:31-32; 19:3-9
THE DISCIPLE’S HANDBOOK
Studies in the Sermon on the Mount

2. 140
120
100 30
2
80 13
60 24
40 21
20 10
19
0 7
Connections with divorce No connection with divorce
Myself Spouse Parent Child Grandparent Grandchild Sibling

3. THE DISCIPLE’S HANDBOOK
Worship Economy
Code Relationships
Character Disciple’s Choices

4. THE DISCIPLE’S CODE
Good Enough (5:17-20)
If Looks Could Kill (5:21-26)
Flames of Desire (5:27-30)
Breaking Up is Hard … on You! (5:31-32)

5. MODERN LAW ON DIVORCE
Fault or No Fault?

6. 70
60
50
40
30
20 2. Which of the following do
10 you consider as legitimate
grounds for divorce? (Select
0 as many as apply.)

7. TWO TROUBLESOME TEXTS
Matthew 5:31-32 & 19:3-9

8. Matthew 5:31-32
"It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife
must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I
tell you that anyone who divorces his
wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes
her to become an adulteress, and anyone who
marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

9. 4. In contrast with the rest of the Sermon on the Mount, does
Jesus' teaching on divorce in Matthew 5:31-32 seem to focus
on external conduct, rather than the heart?
33% Yes, Jesus' teaching here
appears to focus on external
conduct, rather than the
heart
67% No, Jesus' teaching here is
consistent with the rest of
Matthew 5 in its focus on the
heart

10. Matthew 19:3-9
Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They
asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for
any and every reason?" 4 "Haven't you read," he
replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made
them male and female,' 5 and said, 'For this reason a
man will leave his father and mother and be united
to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6 So
they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God
has joined together, let man not separate."

11. Matthew 19:3-9
7 "Why then," they asked, "did Moses command
that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and
send her away?" 8 Jesus replied, "Moses permitted
you to divorce your wives because your hearts were
hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9 I
tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except
for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another
woman commits adultery."

12. JESUS & JEWISH DIVORCE LAW
Was Jesus really as extreme as he sounds?

13. 60
50
40
30
3. Which of the following
20 were legitimate grounds for
divorce in the Old Testament?
10 (Select as many as apply.)
0
Sexual sin Failure to Failure to Withholding
provide perform intimacy
household
duties

14. Listen to Jesus with 1st Century ears

15. Deuteronomy 24:1
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if
then she finds no favor in his eyes because he
has found a cause of indecency in her, and he
writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand
and sends her out of his house, and she departs
out of his house…”

16. Exodus 21:10-11
If he marries another woman, he must not
deprive the first one of her food, clothing and
marital rights. 11 If he does not provide her
with these three things, she is to go
free, without any payment of money.

17. Woman’s Work Defined
“These are the kinds of
labour which a woman
performs for her husband:
she grinds flour, bakes
bread, does laundry, prepares
meals, feeds her child, makes
the bed, works in wool.”
(Mishnah Ketuvah 5.5)

18. Man’s Work Defined
“he may not provide for her less
than two qabs of wheat or four
qabs of barley [per week]…. And
he gives her a bed, a cover and a
mat. And he gives her a cap for
her head, and a girdle for her
loins, and shoes from one festival
season to the next, and clothing
worth fifty zuz from one year to
the next.” (Mishnah Ketuvah 5.8)

19. Wives Could Even Divorce Husbands!

20. “Not tonight, I have a headache!”

21. How much intimacy is enough?
“The sexual duty of which the “He who takes a vow not to
Torah speaks [Ex.21:10]: those have sexual relations with his
without work, every day; wife - The School of Shammai
workers, twice a week; ass say, For two weeks, and the
drivers, once a week; camel School of Hillel say, For one
drivers, once in thirty days; week. Disciples go forth for
sailors, once in six months - Torah study without consent
the words of R. Eliezer.” for 30 days. Workers go for one
(Mishnah Ketuvah 5.6) week. ” (Mishnah Ketuvah 5.6)

22. Deuteronomy 24:1
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if
then she finds no favor in his eyes because he
has found a cause of indecency in her, and he
writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand
and sends her out of his house, and she departs
out of his house…”

23. Deuteronomy 24:1
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if
then she finds no favor in his eyes because he
has found a cause of indecency in her, and he
writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand
and sends her out of his house, and she departs
out of his house…”

24. Deuteronomy 24:1
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if
then she finds no favor in his eyes because he
has found a cause of indecency in her, and he
writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand
and sends her out of his house, and she departs
out of his house…”

25. Wives liked this law, too
• No trial
• No public humiliation
• Ketubah was returned
• This was Joseph’s plan:
– Matthew 1:19 Because
Joseph her husband was a
righteous man and did not
want to expose her to
public disgrace, he had in
mind to divorce her quietly.

26. Deuteronomy 24:1
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, if
then she finds no favor in his eyes because he
has found a cause of indecency in her, and he
writes her a bill of divorce and puts it in her hand
and sends her out of his house, and she departs
out of his house…”

27. The Debate is recorded like this
The School of Shammai And the School of Hillel
says: A man should not says: Even if she spoiled
divorce his wife except for his dish, since it says:
indecency found in "[Any] cause" [Deut.24.1].
her, since it says: "For he
found in her an indecency
cause" [Deut.24.1].

28. THE CONTROVERSY STATED
Matthew 19:3-9

30. The Question About Divorce
Matthew 19:3 ESV And Pharisees came up to
him and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful to
divorce one's wife for ‘any cause’?"

31. The Digression About Marriage
Matthew 19:4-6 ESV He answered, "Have you not read
that he who created them from the beginning made
them male and female, 5 and said, 'Therefore a man
shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to
his wife, and the two shall become one flesh'? 6 So
they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore
God has joined together, let not man separate."

32. The Pharisees Press the Question
Matthew 19:7-8 ESV They said to him, "Why
then did Moses command one to give a
certificate of divorce and to send her away?" 8
He said to them, "Because of your hardness of
heart Moses allowed you to divorce your
wives, but from the beginning it was not so.

33. Jesus Finally Answers
Matthew 19:9 ESV And I say to you: whoever
divorces his wife, except for sexual
immorality, and marries another, commits
adultery."

34. JEWISH MARRIAGE VOWS
Exodus 21:10-11

35. First Century Marriage Vows
Exodus 21:10-11 If he
marries another woman, he
must not deprive the first
one of her food, clothing
and marital rights. 11 If he
does not provide her with
these three things, she is to
go free, without any
payment of money.

36. Jewish Marriage Contracts
“I will feed you and clothe “I undertake to
you and I will bring you into esteem, honor, nourish, pro
my house by means of your vide for, and clothe”. (10th
ketubah, and I owe you 400 Century)
denarii …together with the
due amount of your food
and your clothes and your
bed.” (2nd Century)

37. Paul’s Words Mirror Exodus 21:10-11
Ephesians 5:28-29 ESV In
the same way husbands
should love their wives as ἀγαπάω – “to love”
their own bodies. He who
loves his wife loves himself. ἐκτρέφω – “to nourish”
29 For no one ever hated his
own flesh, but nourishes and
cherishes it, just as Christ θάλπω – “to warm”
does the church,

38. GOD, THE RELUCTANT DIVORCEE
Ezekiel 16 & Jeremiah 3-4

39. Ezekiel 16 – Vows Kept & Vows Broken
God Kept His Vows Israel Broke Her Vows
Ezekiel 16:8-13 … I gave you my Ezekiel 16:16-19 … You took some
solemn oath and entered into a of your garments to make … high
covenant with you, declares the places … 17 You also took the fine
Sovereign LORD, and you became jewelry I gave you … and … made
mine. … 10 I clothed you … I
dressed you in fine linen and for yourself … idols … 18 And you
covered you with costly garments. took your … clothes to put on
11 I adorned you with jewelry … them, … 19 Also the food I
13 … Your food was fine provided for you … you offered as
flour, honey and olive oil. fragrant incense before them.

40. Whose Hard Hearts?
Jeremiah 4:4 ESV Circumcise Jeremiah 3:8 I gave faithless
yourselves to the LORD; Israel her certificate of
remove the foreskin of your divorce and sent her away
[hard] hearts, O men of because of all her adulteries.
Judah and inhabitants of …
Jerusalem; lest my wrath go
forth like fire, and burn with
none to quench it, because
of the evil of your deeds."

41. “I Hate Divorce”
Malachi 2:16 NIV84 "I hate Malachi 2:16 NIV "The man
divorce," says the LORD God who hates and divorces his
of Israel, "and I hate a man's wife," says the LORD, the
covering himself with God of Israel, "does violence
violence as well as with his to the one he should
garment," says the LORD protect," says the LORD
Almighty. So guard yourself Almighty. So be on your
in your spirit, and do not guard, and do not be
break faith. unfaithful.

42. To whom was Jesus referring?
Matthew 19:6 KJV … What • The one who broke
therefore God hath joined vows, causing the divorce?
together, let not man put • The one who initiated
asunder. divorce proceedings?
• The unfaithful or abusive
Matthew 19:6 NIV84 … partner who causes the
Therefore what God has divorce?
joined together, let man not • The one who says “I can’t
separate." take it any more”?

43. WHAT ABOUT REMARRIAGE?
1 Corinthians 7

44. The Masada Divorce Certificate

45. Paul Quotes Jewish Divorce Law
Masada Divorce Certificate 1 Corinthians 7:39 ESV
“You are free on your part to A wife is bound to her husband
go and become the wife of any as long as he lives. But if her
Jewish man that you wish. And husband dies, she is free to be
this is to be for you from me a married to whom she
writ of divorce and a get of wishes, only in the Lord.
release.”

46. I thought you could only remarry if
your spouse died!

47. What about the “one flesh” relationship?

48. 1 Corinthians 7:10-11 NAS77
But to the married I give instructions, not I, but
the Lord, that the wife should not leave her
husband 11 (but if she does leave, let her
remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her
husband), and that the husband should not send
his wife away.

49. 1 Corinthians 7:15
But if the unbeliever
leaves, let him do so. A
believing man or woman
is not bound in such
circumstances; God has
called us to live in peace.

50. SUMMING UP
What did Jesus and Paul really say on the subject?

51. Matthew 5:31-32
“It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife
must give her a certificate of divorce.' 32 But I tell
you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for
marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an
adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced
woman commits adultery.”

52. Jesus & Paul Affirmed OT Divorce Law
OT law of Marriage But divorce And
marriage should be is allowed remarriage
and divorce life- if they is allowed
based on long, and stubbornly after a
four vows: broken carry on divorce
• Faithfulness, vows breaking based on
and support should be vows and these
with forgiven if do not biblical
food, clothin
g and love. repented repent grounds

54. 140
120
100 30
2
80 13
60 24
40 21
20 10
19
0 7
Connections with divorce No connection with divorce
Myself Spouse Parent Child Grandparent Grandchild Sibling