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Complain&Resolve




    Business Proposal
Human Nature


 Talk, talk, talk.

 Blah, blah, blah

 Complain, complain

 Chat, chat, chat

 Microsoft this, software that
Corporate Vision

„ Harness human potential
„ Provide outlet, forum
„ Attract special interest groups
„ Focus attention on “ills of society”
„ Make money
Funding Proposal

„ $500K to attract even greater fools

„ $2.5 M for attractive slides and web graphics

„ $45M for unnavigable website

„ $1.5M to Empress and Minions (aka MITEFC)

„ $100M for consulting division to do redesign
Organization
                                                     < N a m e > .c o m


     W e b la c k e y s    S p e c ia l p r o j e c t s                Counsel                          B ook cooke rs


      D e v e lo p e r s         P h y s ic a l               F a r R ig h t L itig a tio n              S h a re h o ld e r


      D e s tr o y e r s        C h e m ic a l                 F a r L e ft L itig a tio n          O ff- & O n s h o re T a x


                                   M e n ta l                  A ll O th e r M a tte rs                 R e a lh o ld in g s


                                 S p ir itu a l                 N o th in g M a tte rs                    P e tty C a s h


                                                                                             B ills (L a r g e )      B ill (S m a ll)


                                                                                                                      B ill (G a te s )


                                                                                                                      O th e r g a te s
Product Rollout

„ Complain&Resolve.com
  ƒ Polite discourse
„ Grumble.com
  ƒ Silent majority
„ BitchBitchBitch.com
  ƒ Far left and right
„ Revenge.com
  ƒ Gun and SUV owners
„ Suethebastards.com
  ƒ Pros and cons
Revenue Profile
                         V

                    IV
                             VI

              III


         II
    I
Uses of Funds

„   $50K incorporation
„   $250K offshore web development
„   $10M salaries and professional services
„   $40M pointless advertising
„   $100M offshore entities (inc. tolls & parking)
„   $2M travel
Cashflow Profile

    I                    IPO   SHLS
         II


              III

                                VI
                    IV

                          V
MITEFC Board Participation

„ Moral and spiritual guidance
„ Passing the hat

„ Corporate donors/sponsors
  ƒ Anonymity guaranteed
  ƒ Be generous
  ƒ Be merciful

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Complain & Resolve (2000)

  • 1. Complain&Resolve Business Proposal
  • 2. Human Nature Talk, talk, talk. Blah, blah, blah Complain, complain Chat, chat, chat Microsoft this, software that
  • 3. Corporate Vision „ Harness human potential „ Provide outlet, forum „ Attract special interest groups „ Focus attention on “ills of society” „ Make money
  • 4. Funding Proposal „ $500K to attract even greater fools „ $2.5 M for attractive slides and web graphics „ $45M for unnavigable website „ $1.5M to Empress and Minions (aka MITEFC) „ $100M for consulting division to do redesign
  • 5. Organization < N a m e > .c o m W e b la c k e y s S p e c ia l p r o j e c t s Counsel B ook cooke rs D e v e lo p e r s P h y s ic a l F a r R ig h t L itig a tio n S h a re h o ld e r D e s tr o y e r s C h e m ic a l F a r L e ft L itig a tio n O ff- & O n s h o re T a x M e n ta l A ll O th e r M a tte rs R e a lh o ld in g s S p ir itu a l N o th in g M a tte rs P e tty C a s h B ills (L a r g e ) B ill (S m a ll) B ill (G a te s ) O th e r g a te s
  • 6. Product Rollout „ Complain&Resolve.com ƒ Polite discourse „ Grumble.com ƒ Silent majority „ BitchBitchBitch.com ƒ Far left and right „ Revenge.com ƒ Gun and SUV owners „ Suethebastards.com ƒ Pros and cons
  • 7. Revenue Profile V IV VI III II I
  • 8. Uses of Funds „ $50K incorporation „ $250K offshore web development „ $10M salaries and professional services „ $40M pointless advertising „ $100M offshore entities (inc. tolls & parking) „ $2M travel
  • 9. Cashflow Profile I IPO SHLS II III VI IV V
  • 10. MITEFC Board Participation „ Moral and spiritual guidance „ Passing the hat „ Corporate donors/sponsors ƒ Anonymity guaranteed ƒ Be generous ƒ Be merciful