The document discusses forgiveness and bitterness. It begins by summarizing Ephesians 4:25-32 about speaking the truth, controlling anger, not sinning, being kind, and forgiving others. It then tells the story of Naomi, who became bitter after tragedy and asked to be called Mara. The document outlines characteristics of bitter people and ways people become bitter. It provides commands for bitter believers to watch their gossip, emotions, time, enemies, hands, and mouth. The cycle of bitterness is described along with how to build forgiveness by canceling debts, removing others' control, and leaving justice to God. Forgiveness is defined as an ongoing process of wanting good for offenders.

3. I AM FORGIVEN

4. EPHESIANS 4:25-32
25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood,
let each one of you speak the truth with
his neighbor, for we are members one of
another.
26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the
sun go down on your anger,
27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

5. EPHESIANS 4:25-32
28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let
him labor, doing honest work with his own
hands, so that he may have something to
share with anyone in need.
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your
mouths, but only such as is good for building
up”—not tearing down—“as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear.”

6. EPHESIANS 4:25-32
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by
whom you were sealed for the day
of redemption.
31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and
clamor and slander be put away from you,
along with all malice.
32 Be kind to one another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in
Christ forgave you.

7. ARE YOU MARA?

8. Her name, Naomi, meant sweet. Her
identity was daughter of God, and her life
was supposed to be sweet.

9. RUTH 1:20
20 “Do not call me Naomi; call me Mara,
because my life has become very bitter.”

10. The worst day of her life became the
defining day of her life.

11. And in asking others to call her Mara, she
was accepting bitterness as her identity,
and the lens through which she would
interpret everything that would happen for
the rest of her life.

12. CHARACTERISTICS
OF BITTER PEOPLE:

13. As you’re finding that place in your Bible,
let me do a bit of work, pastorally and
theologically, regarding bitterness.

14. 1. Bitter people
are always digging up the past.

15. If you talk to someone who is bitter,
they will continually revisit painful
circumstances from their past. They
can’t move on.

16. 2. Bitter people
remember intricate details because they
keep a record of wrongs.

17. 1 CORINTHIANS 13:5b
5b “Love keeps no record of wrongs.”

18. 3. Bitter people
are triggered less by the offense and
more by their love for the offender.

19. 4. Bitter people
are prone to be self-righteous since
they are the perceived victim.

20. 5. Bitter people
tend to place themselves on throne.
- where they rule and reign like judges, and
they pass verdicts on people who have
done wrong, and they sit in a very exalted
seat of pride.

21. “I see things clearly. I filled in the details
of the narrative, and I’m here to render my
verdict, because that is my right as the
victim.”

22. BITTERNESS
- Is the possession of the one who is
perceived to have been wronged. This
contributes to their sense of self-
righteousness and judgmentalism.

23. FIVE WAYS PEOPLE
BECOME BITTER:

24. 1. You wrongly think that they have sinned
against you. They haven’t sinned against
you, but you think they have, but you’ve got
your facts wrong, so it’s a lie.

25. 2. Some of you have unreasonable and/or
unspoken expectations that are unmet.

26. 3. They rebuked you, and you were hard-
hearted, and you were hurt, so you’re bitter
against them.
You’re bitter against them. “How dare they
say that to me? How dare they point that
out at me?”

27. 4. You are jealous of them.

28. JAMES 3:14
“… Bitter envy and selfish ambition.”
- This is not ambitious for the glory of
God. This is ambitious for the glory of
self that fuels, feed, fosters bitter envy-
JEALOUSY.

29. 5. You have been sinned against.

30. When we are sinned against, we have two
choices: bitterness or forgiveness.
They’re responsible for their sin, but you’re
responsible for your bitterness.

31. Amy Carmichael
“For a cup brimful of sweet water cannot
even spill one drop of bitter water, however
suddenly jolted.”

32. If there’s bitterness in you, they’re going to
expose it. They’re not causing it; they’re
exposing it.

33. If there’s sweet water in your soul, and
someone sins against you, they’re
exposing, not changing, what is in your
soul.

34. SIX COMMANDS FOR
BITTER BELIEVERS:

35. EPHESIANS 4:25-29
25 “Therefore, having put away falsehood,
let each one of you speak the truth with
his neighbor, for we are members one of
another.
26 Be angry and do not sin; do not let the
sun go down on your anger,
27 and give no opportunity to the devil.

36. EPHESIANS 4:25-29
28 Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let
him labor, doing honest work with his own
hands, so that he may have something to
share with anyone in need.
29 Let no corrupting talk come out of your
mouths, but only such as is good for building
up”—not tearing down—“as fits the occasion,
that it may give grace to those who hear.”

37. 1. WATCH YOUR
GOSSIP.

38. “Let each one of you speak the truth with
his neighbor.”— meaning, if you think they
sinned against you, go work it out with
them.

39. GOSSIP is when we talk about people;
we don’t talk with them. That’s gossip.

40. PROVERBS 26:20
20 “Without wood, a fire goes out. Without
gossip, a quarrel dies down.”

41. 2. WATCH YOUR
EMOTIONS.

42. “Be angry and do not sin.”

43. EXODUS 34:6
6 The LORD passed before him and
proclaimed, “The LORD, the LORD, a
God merciful and gracious, slow to
anger, and abounding in steadfast love
and faithfulness,

44. God describes Himself as
“A God who is slow to anger.”
Anger can be a very powerful emotion that
can be used for constructive good.

45. 3. WATCH YOUR
CLOCK.

46. “Do not let the sun go down
on your anger.”
What it’s saying is, “Don’t let things
extend or delay.”

47. 4. WATCH YOUR
ENEMY.

48. “Give no opportunity to the devil.”

49. 5. WATCH YOUR
HANDS.

50. “Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let
him labor, doing honest work with his
hands, that he may have something to
share with anyone in need.”

51. “Watch your hands.” Do something
constructive, not destructive. Do something
that helps others, doesn’t harm others.

52. 6. WATCH YOUR
MOUTH.

53. “Let no corrupting talk come
out of your mouths.”

54. You say, “How do I know whether or not
it’s corrupting?”
“It’s not about you getting your hurt out,
but imparting grace to those who hear.”

55. “Put away falsehood, let each one of you
speak the truth.”
Now, bitter people tend to rewrite, revise
history.

56. THE CYCLE OF
BITTERNESS

57. DIG UP THE ROOT
OF BITTERNESS

58. HEBREWS 12:15
15 See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of
God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and
causes trouble, and by it many become defiled;

59. HOW TO BUILD A
FIRE

60. “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger
and clamor and slander be put away from
you, along with all malice.”

61. • Bitterness
• Wrath
• Anger
• Clamor (protest)
• Slander
• Malice (desire to hurt someone)

62. Sometimes, hurt people like to
hurt people.

63. FORGIVEN PEOPLE
FORGIVE.

64. So, what do we do?
Well, forgiven people forgive.

65. EPHESIANS 4:30,32
30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of
God, by whom you were sealed for the day
of redemption.
32 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,
forgiving one another, as God in Christ
forgave you.

66. It takes a miracle for a bitter victim to
forgive, and the name of the miracle is the
Holy Spirit. He is the one who will allow
you, empower you, enable you to forgive.

67. BECAUSE GOD IN
CHRIST FORGAVE
YOU

68. That’s the gospel. All of our sin is
against God. The psalmist says this in
Psalm 51:4,

69. PSALM 51:4
4 “Against you only, Lord God, have I
sinned…”

70. SEVEN THINGS
FORGIVENESS IS:

71. 1. Forgiveness
is canceling a debt owed to you.
“I’m not going to make you pay. I’m going
to let that go emotionally, relationally.”

72. 2. Forgiveness
is removing the control that the offender has
over you. If you haven’t forgiven them, and
you’re bitter against them, then they still
control you.

73. 3. Forgiveness
is giving a gift to yourself and to your
offender. You can move on. You can let go
of some of the stress, some of the anxiety,
some of the haunting.

74. 4. Forgiveness is forsaking revenge.

75. In Romans 12:19, God says, “Vengeance is
mine. I will repay.” What you’re not saying
is, “I am sanctioning injustice,” but “I’m just
leaving it in the hands of the perfect court,
with the perfect Judge.”

76. 5. Forgiveness
is leaving ultimate justice in God’s hands.
Some of you love justice. You should. So
does God.

77. And justice either comes at the cross or in
hell—where Jesus died in their place for
their sins, and they come to repentance or
they don’t.

78. 6. Forgiveness
is an ongoing process.
You’ll forgive them once, but you may need
to forgive them again because they do it
again, or maybe the hurt comes back
afresh, and the old wound starts bleeding.

79. Jesus on forgiveness:
Forgive them "seventy times seven“.

80. 7. Forgiveness
is wanting good for your offender.
You know that, ultimately, you’ve forgiven
them when your hope is that they come to
the Lord Jesus and that their future is
better than their past.

81. SEVEN THINGS
FORGIVENESS IS
NOT:

82. 1. Forgiveness is not denying that sin
occurred or diminishing its evil.

83. 2. Forgiveness
is not enabling sin.
Your spouse is an addict or a thief or an
abuser. It’s not enabling sin.

84. 3. Forgiveness
is not necessarily a response to an apology.

85. “They never said they’re sorry.” They may
never say they’re sorry. They may never be
sorry. They may die without apologizing. They
may have moved away. You may not even
know where they are.

86. 4. Forgiveness
is not covering up crimes committed
against us.

87. 5. Forgiveness is not forgetting.

88. 6. Forgiveness is not trust.

89. 7. Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

90. TWO QUESTIONS:

91. 1. Who do you need to forgive?
Because forgiven people forgive.
2. Who needs to forgive you?

92. Example: Paul
Stephen: "Lord, do not charge them
with this sin."