1. Remaking borders
First EastBordeNet Conference – Catania, 20-22 January 2011
University of Catania
Suffering Togetherness: Motherhood and
Hide Emotions in Case of Prenatal Death
Alessandra Micalizzi
IULM University – Communication, behaviour and consumption dept.
alessandra.micalizzi@iulm.it
2. Framing the research…
Narrative approach
«Narratives live in our mind, they organize our thoughts, they
help us to interpret daily experiences and give meaning to our
existence» (Di Fraia, 2005)
Identity:
Internet as Narrative
As narrative technology
construction
“Narrative self” Relationship:
The results of
narratives exchanges
3. Framing the research…
Mediation
/protection
Post-orality fragmentation
Internet as Narrative
technology
Virtual
Intimacy togetherness
Participation
Multiple self
Public-private
space
4. Perinatal death mourning
From a narrative point of view, it’s a
turning point
Social context Mother
Not-recognition of tragic Signs of matherhood
event
Future perspective Failed expectations and
desirers
Not recognition of the new Certainty that the baby
identities (both as mother as “was” a part of her life
well as people that lives a
loss
7. 1. Acclimatising
«Initially, I didn‟t sign up, I spent hours reading what others had
written, but I was not able to „come out‟! Maybe because to do so
meant telling myself “It‟s all true, and it really happened and you can‟t
go back. I am also a special mommy and Alice with not come back to
me”» Alice‟s mom.
• reading other messages (lurking)
• finding similar experiences
• reflecting on the identity denied (as mother)
•Strongly sense of misunderstanding and diversity respect the world
“outside”
8. 2. Introduction
«Alice died December 2 and I signed up on January 9, if I remember
correctly. It was time to face everything, but, most of all, to be
hugged by other magnificent mommies» Alice‟s mom.
• creating an account strictly connected with the identity as “Mother”
• retelling the story about the loss (processing mourning) coactions
to repet
• be a part to the community constructing a sense of community
9. 3. Participation
«Being part of the forum is like having another family in the
sense that you belong to a group where personal bonds are
strengthened by sharing difficult experiences and they grow
with reciprocal exchange and help! » (Claudia Ravaldi, Lapo‟s
mommy, meeting facilitator)
• common destiny effect
clear difference between the world on and off line
•construction of “special mummy identity”
• regular narratives exchange
•Elective affinity special relations
10. 4. “Taking responsibility”
«Months by months, I started to felt better. I understood I‟m not
alone. I was stronger and I was ready to help other special mummies.
When I read some stories, stories like mine, I thought and I said to
others “I‟m the living witness that you can go through”» Marta‟s
mom.
• narratives more focused on answering others and not in speaking
about personal emotions
• re-appropriation of real life (new or old interests) personal
identity
• re-building relational bonds social identity
11. 5. Exit
«I‟m not ready yet to abandon the forum. I can‟t think me without my
new virtual friends. But I think, may be a day, I‟ll spend less time on
the Net and I‟ll start again to live» Paola‟s mom.
• desire to “normality”
• less sense of dependence from the forum
• reduction of the presence on the forum
12. Remaking the borders: identity
implications
Identity level
• searching for the identity ad mother, denied outside of the Net
• processing the mourning: coping by
• auto-biographical narration
• sharing the narration (reflection on self by the glance of others)
• reconstruct new identity, involving also the Real life
Loss
Coherent
First search on the Net Exit narratives about
the self
Border on/off
Taking
responsibility
Participation
Acclimatising
Introduction
