"Dying: Doing It Differently"

Dying: Doing It Differently

with Maneesha James
The Sammasati Project

Copyright 2012 The Sammasati Project www.thesammasatiproject.co.uk

Who We Are
 Maneesha James
S.R.N., S.C.M., R.M.N. Grad. Dip. Psychotherapy
& Counselling, Member of BACP

Meditation Facilitator & Psychotherapist
Co-founder The Sammasati Project
& Co-Facilitator The Sammasati
Support-Person Training
 Sidika Petterson
Communications & Graduate
of The Sammasati Project

How to Participate Today

• Open and close your Panel
• View, Select, and Test your audio
• Submit text questions
• Raise your hand

• Q&A addressed at the end of today’s
session

Webinar Overview
 Introduction to Maneesha & The Sammasati Project
 The taboo around death
 2 guided meditations
 The connection between meditation and dying
 The Sammasati Support-Person Training
 Basic ‘Being-with skills’
 Q&A


Maneesha James through
the years


Our Mission Statement

 To support those who want to live – through
the whole spectrum of living-health-
sickness-recovery-dying – consciously and
with greater joy.
 Our focus is currently on the Sammasati
Support-Person Training offering psycho-
spiritual support to the seriously ill and the dying
– more about that later


The Sammasati Project:
Our Plans
 Talks and workshops on meditation
 Education in the potential for transformation in dying
 A training for those wishing to support individuals through
their illness back to health or through dying
 An outreach service to assist people through illness
and/or dying
 A website with a toolkit of resources (including a support
forum) for those wishing to live and die consciously with
the aid of meditation
 Meditation-based hospices around the world


What we’re on about

 So this webinar’s theme is death & dying
 Anyone here who thinks this topic isn’t applicable to
them?!


The Taboo of Death
 Death is so morbid!
 OK, others die, but
not me!
 Mention death and
you’ll make it happen


Recent History of Death
 Changes in the last 100 years – previously more
childhood death, lower adult life expectancy
 The deathbed was often in the home; elderly
often lived with the family, so people faced the
reality of death as part of life
 Nowadays, death has been medicalised and
many of us die in hospitals, it is more of an
unknown so more feared


Fear of Death
 Fear based on losing what we have become
deeply attached to
 Fear born of the misunderstanding that we
are the body
 And there are other fears – that of going into
the unknown; the fear of pain; the fear of
feeling abandoned, of being alone; that those
we leave behind will not be able to manage
without us; a fear that we have wasted our life
and now it is too late to do anything about it;
and, for some, the fear of retribution, of being
judged and found wanting


Death: Coming out of the closet

 Death Cafes in the UK & US
 The Natural Death Centre;
DyingMatters.org; Transitus
 Respecting people’s right to know they
are dying and to prepare
 The right to end one’s own life

 Literature on death


Prepare to die!
 Dying can be prepared for, and part of that
preparation will include consciously
addressing fears.
 Then there’s an opening to understand the
enormous potential in dying


How can we prepare to die?
 Some people say that
“Living is the best
preparation for dying”
 If death tapped me on
my shoulder right now…
 Some people explain that
they are too busy living to
give energy to death


The living-dying continuum
 Death is a natural process – part of the
continuum of life
 We are really living-dying all the time

 The same tendencies in our living will still be
in play through dying – both so-called
positive and negative.

 You take on the whole package: life and
death
 The interplay of living-dying in our breathing


Breath-Watching Technique
 Ensure that you will
not be disturbed
 Make yourself
comfortable
 I’ll guide you through
the very simply steps
so you can allow
your eyes to close


Watching the in- and the out-
breath

 Each in breath, taking in life
 Each out breath, letting go of life
 The body is so relaxed you feel you can observe it there,
separate from you
 And if any thoughts or feelings or physical sensations
intervene, noticing when that happens, bringing your
awareness back to watching the breath


Watching the gaps
 Notice the gaps
 The gaps may become longer, without any effort
 Enjoy that feeling of complete relaxation, of letting
go totally…
 You are simply aware, watching…You are simply
consciousness….


Watching the whole cycle…


What can we learn through this
small technique?
 Benefits:
 1) Moving voluntarily from the outer to the inner
 2) Allowing, rather than doing
 3) Voluntarily relaxing
 4) Moving from the personality to spaciousness
 5) Being in the present
 6) A living understanding of the interconnectedness
between inhaling and exhaling, between living and dying,
 7) The choice to notice thoughts, feelings and bodily
sensations and to let them pass by


More Benefits…
 8) The experience of oneself
as that which is separate
from the body, as the
watching consciousness,
sammasati
 9) Trust and dropping
control
 10)Stillness, silence,
peace


What’s the relevance of
meditation in dying and why
would I want to die consciously?

 Many valuable keys that are relevant when we
are sick or dying
 Specific methods to address diverse concerns
 The meditative methods that we can use in life
to avoid becoming overwhelmed with anxiety,
our various fears, to de-stress, to stay centred,
open and in contact with our hearts, may be
just as relevant when we are dying


Meditation and dying
 The process we enter in a passive meditation method is
very similar to dying:
 Close our eyes
 Relax, let go of any need to control
 Leave the outer world for our interior one
 Leave behind the personality, our sense of individuality,
and become one with a vaster energy
 Sammasati:discover or remember ourselves the
watching consciousness that which is beyond the
bodymind.
 Move from relating to the other, to being alone, in self-
relating
 Move from doing to simply being
 Move into the unknown


Die before you die
 Meditating provides a
natural and simple way to
consciously ‘die before you
die’
 If we are meditators, when
our time comes, the
process is familiar to us
 If we know how to let go
consciously and
voluntarily, can there be a
better way to enter dying?


Dying Consciously
 A moving account of a
conscious passage into
dying: When I Die: Lessons
from the Death Zone by
Phillip Gould


Phillip Gould
 “My death became my life. And my life gained a
kind of intensity that it had never had before. It
gained a quality and a power it had never had
before.”
 “The unvarnished certainty that you are going to
die …is an immensely powerful thing. It provides
the opportunity for fulfilment and the experience of
extraordinary depths of feeling, and the chance of
reconciliation that would never otherwise occur.”
 “Death is a time for immense change and
transformation, a time to fulfil yourself and others,
and a chance, in a small way, to change the
world…”


Death: A unique opportunity
 Clearly, approached with
awareness and openness,
dying is not – or need not be
– a calamity but a unique
opportunity, even the
crescendo, the peak of our
life’s experience
 And Now And Here by the
mystic Osho can help you to
understand the significance
of meditation and dying
consciously


Questions?

Any questions so far?


Medicalised death

 Richard Barnett writes of the ‘sterility and inhumanity
of modern, medicalised death’ and how – by ensuring
that death [takes] place under medical supervision in
medical institutions, the medical profession [has]
‘obscured the personal and social process of dying’ –
and I would add the ‘psycho-spiritual aspects too.’ (‘A
Brief History of Modern Death’)
 The potential inherent in dying– the psycho-
spiritual aspect of dying – is not the domain of
doctors
 As so vividly described by Lord Gould, lived through
with awareness, dying can be deeply transformative.


From fear to …?
 To address our fears is certainly an important step
 Energetically fear is a contracted state; when we’re
fearful, anxious, we contract internally
 What makes us feel just the converse – open, trusting,
relaxed, expanded?
 Love!


The Light of Love Meditation
 Make sure you are undisturbed, and be in a comfortable
position
 Stage 1: I shall be guiding you throughout so you can
allow your eyes to close
 If it helps you to be in contact with your heart, you might like to
place a hand there. And let your awareness rest there, at your
heart centre


The stages
 Stage 1 – Recall Love:
 Recall the face of someone you feel loved by
 Or simply feel the presence of Love itself
 On each inhalation: inhale feel that you are
taking that love – as a soft, golden light – into your
heart.
 On each exhalation…sending that love, that light
that has filled your heart, into the rest of your body
 Stage 2 – Rest in love: And finally, for the next
few moments, simply resting in that feeling of
being filled with love’s light…


A turning point
 Encouraging the addressing of our fears
around dying is an important part of easing
someone through the dying process. And
there is a whole other dimension beyond
that too
 And consider this, that…
 This might be the first time the dying person
has turned inwards
 The first time they are asking themselves:
Who am I?
 They may be asking other significant
existential questions


As at birth…so at death

 As we do for birthing,
we can – and should –
consciously prepare for
dying
 Dying can be as
celebrative as birthing
 Another kind of midwife


The Sammasati Support-Person
Training
 The Sammasati Support-Person Training is
designed to help through illness and dying
those who like to use whatever happens for
their inner growth, those who want to be
present to their dying as they are to their living.
 The Sammasati vision is based on that of the
mystic Osho.
 A meditative approach to all aspects of living,
including dying
 No one to follow; no belief system to take on
 An openness and willingness to experiment,
taking on everything as a ‘working hypothesis’


Merely changing form…


Training Facilitators
 Myself, Maneesha James
 Sudheer Niet: meditation
facilitator; hypnotherapy and
NLP trainer


Two aspects of the training
 The Training is two-pronged:
 A unique opportunity to explore
your own relationship with
death
 Skills to support someone else
who is dying, who wants to stay
as present as possible, and to
have the support of meditators.
 As Osho says, this is ‘greatest
gift’ we can give to anyone – to
be present, with love and
awareness, supporting them
through this journey


Brief description of the training


Module 1: Experiential Enquiry
 Doctor and author Michael Murphy suggests, ‘If there is no
training, and [support people] have not taken conscious heed
of their own loneliness and disconnection, no wonder that
there is bluster and fear [about dying]. Since dying involves
body, soul, and spirit… lectures or instruction manuals are
inadequate since feelings are very much involved. In order to
be a truly competent guide, [the support person’s] training
needs to be very personal, helping him to imagine his own
dying and the dying of those he loves. Only then will he be in a
more comfortable position to help others, since he himself will
be able to become more a witness and guide.’ (The Wisdom of
Dying: Practices for Living).
 Safe and supportive environment
 Structures and meditation that enable us to address our
feelings around our own death


Module 2

Client Issues and Possible Responses
 What is ‘a conscious death’?
 What might impede it?
 Ways to respond to shock, anxiety and depression
 Meditation
 Basic relating skills


Module 3

Deepening; Issues of the Psyche;
'Being-with' Skills and Relaxation
 Deepening relating skills
 Continued introduction to meditation methods
 An introduction to the art of self-hypnosis; how to
induce a state of deep relaxation in ourselves and
in the other


Module 4
Sickness and a Conscious Death
 How to support someone who wants to remain responsive
and present to the experience of their dying?
 Is there a place for The Bardo Thodol (The Tibetan Book
of the Dead) in a contemporary context?
 Physical signs and symptoms of dying
 Advanced Planning (The Living Will)
 Ethics and some of the issues around euthanasia


Module 5

Pain Management; Teaching Meditation;
Self Care
 The various forms of non-medical pain relief that are
available
 Discussion and practice around teaching meditation
 Some guidance on working with clients and how to
promote yourself
 Revision of the training


What’s unique about the
training…
 Its foundational understanding being that a
conscious death offers an unprecedented
opportunity for inner growth
 That there can be joy even in the seemingly
bleakest moments
 Meditation-based and with facilitators who are
meditators
 The experiential component
 The learning how to voluntarily enter the
experience of letting go, and how to pass that on
to others
 The development of participants’ own state of
consciousness


What will I gain from the training?
 An intimate, lived understanding of what your own death means
to you
 A deepened state of meditation
 The ability to be fully present, with love and awareness, when
with someone at one of the most vulnerable and sacred times in
their life
 Psychological and meditative skills for supporting
consciousness in illness and dying
 A loving and safe space to process emotions which are
inevitably triggered by the nature of this work

A support group of fellow trainees


What will I gain from the
training? Cont/…
 An appreciation of the relevance of meditation in all aspects of
life
 The acquisition of a variety of meditations to enhance everyday
life as well as the last phase of life
 Ongoing support after the year’s training, through mentoring
and Professional Development sessions (workshops and seminars
and online webinars).
 A possible radical change in your appreciation of what it is to be
alive, here and now.


Some testimonials from training
graduates

 "I am more conscious that everything has a
beginning and an end… A window has been
opened where I can be more real. I no longer need
to close my eyes to my imperfections in order to
defend myself.. I can be me. A new wave of health
is coming up in my psyche. I am a human being. I
am vulnerable. I am finite. And despite all that, I
still can be. Life happens…Things can be
fascinating without needing to be anything in
particular. I do not need to be special. I can be
human, simple, weak, vulnerable, and still worthy."
(Priya Alvarez, Spain)


Some testimonials from training
graduates cont/…
 “Living a life where each moment I am
preparing for my own death is very
different from living with the focus on
being right, getting a date, making
money, avoiding pain, etc. Long story
short, I sit quietly for many hours a day
with a level of peace I have never known
before.” (Nityanando, USA)
 “There was such loving energy
throughout …and for me personally a
great amount of learning, and golden
keys to work on myself in my everyday
living.” (Cristina Grassl, Italy)

Some photos from the
training…


To connect with us about
the training

 Check out our detailed Sammasati
Support-Person Training page on the
website: www.thesammasatiproject.co.uk
 Email us at
info@thesammasatiproject.co.uk
 Call us on +44 (0)7871 611692


Keeping connected


Spreading the word…

 Please help us spread the word about
 Recommend our website and newsletter
to your friends & colleagues
 ‘Like’ us on Facebook and share our
posts
 Subscribe to us on YouTube and share
our videos
 Retweet us
 Contact us for flyers


Funding and sponsorship


A few ‘being-there’ suggestions
for when with the dying
 Physical needs
 Physical proximity
 Allowing silence
 Synchronise your breathing
 Touch can be very reassuring


A few ‘being-there’ suggestions
for when with the dying Cont/…

• Reflective listening
 Use affirming gestures e.g. nodding,
smiling, and sounds or words such as
‘Mmm’, ‘Aha’ ‘I see.’ ‘Yes.’
 Avoid question-asking (beyond the practical
ones such as: Are you comfortable? How is
it for you to have me here?)
 No need to try fix them/make things better
 They may want to talk with you, get things
off their chest. It can be immensely helpful
and comforting if you just listen


In conclusion…
 Death is coming out of the closet
 Facing our own issues around death helps
us support others who are dying
 As we live, so shall we die
 Meditation – as the state of self-as-
consciousness – provides the basis of an
experiential approach to dying
 A ‘midwife’ or support-person to the dying
can be invaluable
 Dying can be a celebrative & hugely
potential time


Graduates of The Sammasati

Come join us!


Q&A

 Please ask any questions by typing them into the
chat box

 You can also click the Hand Raise icon

 Sidika will pick some questions and read them –
please put ‘Anon’ or ‘Private’ if you don’t want your
name read out

 If you have further questions, please send them to
info@thesammasatiproject.co.uk


Thank you!


"Dying: Doing It Differently"

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