We often have to engage with others in the workplace. Relationships can be energising or destructive. Find out more about how to make your relationships more energising, and effective. This is a subset of slides from a workshop I ran for The Psychology of Self Expression.

1. Working with Others
Suzanne Hazelton
working with leaders and teams to
THRIVE!
© 2014 Suzanne Hazelton

2. ”People don’t always remember
what you say or even what you
do, but they always remember
how you made them feel.”
~ Maya Angelou.
© 2014 - Suzanne Hazelton

3. In business you don’t always get to
choose who you work with – and
yet to be effective at work typically
you have to work well with others.
Often we’re not taught the skills of
working with others.
© 2014 - Suzanne Hazelton

4. What follows are two key skills for
working with others ...
• Firstly – who is Suzanne Hazelton
• Skill 1: Developing the ability to navigate the
dynamics of relationships
• Skill 2: Build better relationships in just 6 seconds
• More free information ….
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© 2014 Suzanne Hazelton

5. About Suzanne Hazelton
I work with individuals and teams to THRIVE!
• I’m a leadership coach and trainer – I’ve worked with
thousands of people in a range of organisations from IBM,
BT, a range of smaller business as well as stepping my foot
into the charity sector with some recent work for the charity
Guide Dogs for the Blind.
• I have qualifications in positive psychology, coaching, NLP (see
next page)
• I’m the author of: Raise Your Game*, and Great Days at
Work* (Kogan Page). I’ve also contributed a chapter on
mind to a third: Entrepreneurs Succeed With Us.
• I work clients on leadership, people & thriving related topics
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© 2014 Suzanne Hazelton
*The links are for Amazon.co.uk but also available on Amazon.com

6. Suzanne’s toolkit
MSc. Applied Positive Psychology
2012
Business Coaching
2011
Transactional Analysis (2 years)
2008
Firo-B
2007
IBM Certified Learning Professional
2007
Transactional Analysis 101
2006
NLP Master Practitioner
2005
MBTI Practitioner
2005
Train the Trainer
2004
NLP Certified Practitioner
2003
IBM Senior IT Specialist Profession
2003
NLP Diploma
2002
Professional Cert in Management
2002
Microsoft Certified Systems Engineer 1998
Microsoft Certified Professional
1997
BSc (Hons) Industrial & Business Systems1994

7. Art & Science of Communication
Skill 1: Developing the ability
to navigate the dynamics of
relationships
© 2013 - Suzanne Hazelton

8. Too often we ‘react’ to comments and
the actions of others
• BUT you are MORE than a
puppet on a string
• You don’t have to have your
emotions and thinking pulled
around by others
• First let me show you some of
the typical dynamics that go
on in relationships …..
• Once you can “see” what’s
going on – you have more
choice in how you respond

9. Adapted from OK Corral
I’m OK
“PERSECUTOR”
1 up
Arrogant
Blaming
I’m OK, you’re OK
Assertive
Solution focused: “what
needs to be done next?”
“RESCUER”
Poor you
Patronising
You’re Not OK
“hopeless”
Downward spiral
You’re OK
“VICTIM”
1 down
Act helpless
Apathetic
I’m Not OK

10. Art & Science of Communication
Skill 2: Build better
relationships in just 6 seconds
© 2013 - Suzanne Hazelton

11. How do you respond to someone
else’s good news?

12. How do you respond to
someone else’s good news?
DON’T GET
OVER-EXCITED

13. Many of us notice what’s ‘wrong’ with an
idea, or the ‘risks’ associated with a course
of action … but research shows that
relationships are built on an initial positive
response.
The person will be more likely to listen later
if you first share their enthusiasm.
© 2014 - Suzanne Hazelton

14. “Seek first to understand, then be
understood” ~ Stephen Covey
© 2014 - Suzanne Hazelton

15. Passive and Constructive
Active and Constructive
Acknowledges the news and moves on
Focuses on them
Takes an active interest – asks questions
Helps the person capitalise on the good news
Passive and Destructive
Active and Destructive
Grabs the spotlight
Changes the subject
Immediately identifies the downsides
and concerns
(Nonverbal communication: displays of
negative emotions such as furrowed
brow, frowning.)
Gable, S.L., et al., What Do You Do When Things Go Right?

16. Passive and Constructive
Active and Constructive
“That’s good news.”
“That’s great, I know how important that
promotion was to you! We should go out and
celebrate and you can tell me what excites
you most about your new job”
(Nonverbal communication: little or no active (Nonverbal communication: maintaining good
emotional expression.)
eye contact; displays of positive emotions
such as genuine smiling, laughter and
appropriate touch)
Passive and Destructive
Active and Destructive
“What are we doing on Friday night?”
“That sounds like a lot of responsibility to
take on. There will probably more stress
involved in the new position and longer
hours at the office.”
(Nonverbal communication: little or no eye
contact, turning away, leaving the room)
Gable, S.L., et al., What Do You Do When Things Go Right?

17. Taking action ….
What will you do (or do more of) as a
result of this workshop?
Please take a moment to complete the
feedback sheets ….
(more info to follow)
“As long as you live, keep learning how to live” ~ Seneca
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18. References / Further Reading
Back, K., & Back, K. (1999). Assertiveness at work : a practical guide to handling awkward
situations (3rd ed. ed.). London: McGraw-Hill.
Bono, J. E., & Ilies, R. (2006). Charisma, positive emotions and mood contagion. The Leadership
Quarterly, 17(4), 317-334. doi: 10.1016/j.leaqua.2006.04.008
Fredrickson, B. (2009a). Positivity : groundbreaking research reveals how to embrace the hidden
strength of positive emotions, overcome negativity, and thrive (1st ed.). New York: Crown
Publishers.
Gable, S.L., et al., What Do You Do When Things Go Right? The Intrapersonal and Interpersonal
Benefits of Sharing Positive Events. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2004. 87(2):
p. 228-245.
Huppert, F. A. 2009. Psychological Well-being: Evidence Regarding its Causes and Consequences.
Applied Psychology: Health and Well-being, (2), 137–164.
Lyubomirsky, S. (2010). The how of happiness : a practical approach to getting the life you want.
London: Piatkus.
Lyubomirsky, S., King, L., & Diener, E. (2005). The Benefits of Frequent Positive Affect: Does
Happiness Lead to Success? Psychological Bulletin, 131(6), 803-855. doi: 10.1037/00332909.131.6.803

19. Working with Others – more free
resources
• Free PDF of chapter 10 – Working with Others,
from Great Days at Work
–
http://www.johnsonfellowes.co.uk/great-days-work/
• Communicating for business action
– Blog: http://suzannehazelton.com/2013/05/28/business-communications/
• Assertiveness
– Blog: http://suzannehazelton.com/2013/03/17/6-ways-to-increase-your-assertive-language/
– Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0bR6nyxeb4
• My YouTube Channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/suzannehazelton/videos
© 2014 Suzanne Hazelton

20. Suzanne Hazelton’s contact details
Suzanne is a leadership coach, working with individuals and teams to THRIVE! A
positive psychologist, coach and trainer – she’s worked with thousands of people.
She’s the author of two books: Raise Your Game, and Great Days at Work (Kogan
Page). She’s a contributing author to a third: Entrepreneurs Succeed With Us. She
works with clients on people & thriving related topics.
• Email: suzanne@johnsonfellowes.co.uk
• Twitter: @SuzanneHazelton
© 2014 Suzanne Hazelton

21. Managing Stress
Working with Others
Suzanne Hazelton
THANK YOU
© 2014 Suzanne Hazelton