A chapter from "Idiot's Guides, PEOPLE SKILLS"

1. Dr. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
Medical Adviser and Trainer
Qualified Pharma.
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Yahya K. Mohammed Ali

2. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
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*Learning to be an effective and appreciated
partner is an important life skill.
*The most important reason for learning the
skills of partnering with others is that you
cannot escape partnering in life.
*Families are a partnership, as are
neighborhoods, work groups, and health-care
teams that see you through illnesses.

3. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
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4. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
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*The first principle of being a good partner is to
develop the “you” attitude.
*Today, everyone thinks of “me, me, me.” We
are all about our convenience, our needs, and
our interests.
*The “you” attitude requires you to look at a
task from the viewpoint of your partner.
*Start by asking yourself how your partner’s
goals and needs may differ from your own.

5. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
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*Think deeply about the following things you have
observed in your partner:
*The conversation style he prefers
*Whether he is more of a thinker or a doer
*His patience level and work pace
*Habits
*Typical ways of interacting with others
*Areas of interest and strength
*Turn-offs and pet peeves (what annoys them)

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*Next, look at the task you have ahead of you.
*How do you think your partner will see the
task?
*What do you think he will want the approach to
be?
*What are some of his strengths and weaknesses
that might relate to this task?
*What parts can you suggest your partner take
that he will enjoy?

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*In the best partnerships, both partners have the
same goal.
*Making your project appealing and valuable to your
partner greatly increases his interest in and
commitment to your goals.
*Trying to understand your partner’s goal and
attempting to help him achieve that goal can help
save the partnership.
*Goals and needs can change. An ongoing dialogue
allows you to be on top of those changes and
protects both partners from being blindsided.

8. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
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*Some partnerships consist of more than two
people. Whenever you grow to three or more
people, the process of coming to agreements
gets more complex.
*Now you have to build consensus among more
people with diverse views and needs.
*To build consensus means coming to an
agreement that is the best combination of a
group’s ideas and opinions

9. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
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*It’s about building a blended solution from all
factions and ideas in a group.
*You build consensus one person at a time.
Going to each person and asking their
viewpoint and sharing your ideas is worth the
extra time it takes.
*Whether you are partnering with a friend, your
family, or your boss, working in partnership can
make you both come out as winners.

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Yahya K. Mohammed Ali

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*When you join someone as a partner, you both
should be clear about what your role is.
*In most partnerships one partner usually
emerges as the leader.
*Partners need to be especially clear about who
has responsibility for what.
*If one person perceives he is the leader, he
should verify with other partners that they are
comfortable with this.

12. Yahya K. Mohammed Ali
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*Partners need to communicate about many
things, including the following:
*Who can speak for the team, and what are the
limitations?
*What are the areas of responsibility for each
partner?
*How much time do the partners expect each
person to devote each week?

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*If one or more partners are not happy with the
agreement on any of the preceding, the
partners need to continue to make adjustments
and sacrifices to come to a compromise.
*When both or multiple partners use the “you”
attitude, finding a solution that works best for
everyone is possible.

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*One of the most difficult aspects of partnership is
that there is sometimes an imbalance of workload
or initiative or investment.
*Part of the reason for this imbalance is poor
planning. When there is no plan in place, no one
visualizes in advance all that needs to happen.
*If one partner doesn’t know all that the other
partner is doing, it isn’t his fault if the imbalance
occurs. Only after you have a detailed description
of all that needs to take place, can you begin a
discussion of who does what and how to make sure
everyone does his fair share.

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*When a problem arises, communicate it quickly
and without judgment or hostility.
*Many partnerships of various kinds dissolve
over the issue of one partner not doing his fair
share.
*Imbalance can hurt partners who volunteer,
work, or play together.
*Imbalance can occur when one partner feels he
is investing more money or other resources
than his partner.

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*The benefits of collaborating include stimulating
your thinking, coming up with more diverse ideas,
holding each other accountable, catching errors,
and inspiring creativity.
*Instead of a “me” attitude, adopt a “you” attitude
and consider your partner’s preferences, interests,
and pet peeves.
*Approaching your project with attentiveness to
making it appealing and valuable to your partner
greatly increases his interest in and commitment to
your goals.

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*Building consensus helps you build a broad base
of support that will provide a stronger
foundation for what you’re trying to
accomplish.
*Know your role as a partner. If there is a
hierarchy, clearly establish who is the leader.
*A person who feels he is investing far more
time, money, or other resources than his
partner can develop resentment and the
relationship can be permanently damaged.

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Yahya K. Mohammed Ali