The toilet bowl of DEATH and 2 other tales from SEO, UX and IA.

1. THE TOILET BOWL OF DEATH
AND 2 OTHER TALES FROM SEO, UX & IA
Ian Lurie
@portentint
ian@portent.com

2. portent.co/seofolly
Yes, like this, no ‘m’.

3. dodge ahem equivocate weasel weasel hem haw qualify caution
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pick nits dodge ahem equivocate weasel weasel hem haw qualify

4. IA = STRUCTURING INFORMATION
FOR ALL CONSUMERS

5. THE CONSUMER IS NOT
AN ALGORITHM

6. Thanks, memcrunch.com!

7. no, i meant
goats... OMG.
YOUR CUSTOMER IS NOT
AN ALGORITHM

8. Thanks, Matt Groening!

9. IAN’S HANDY-DANDY HEURISTIC
FOR IA & SEO HARMONY
CANONICAL
FINDABLE
SIGNIFICANT

10. CANONICAL.
EACH INFORMATION CHUNK
HAS ONE UNIQUE ADDRESS.

11. FINDABLE.
ALL INTENDED INFORMATION
CONSUMERS CAN NAVIGATE
TO AND READ EVERY CHUNK.

12. SIGNIFICANT.
BRING CLARITY AND
PRIORITY, REVEALING
CHUNKS WHEN NEEDED.

13. i wave my hands
thusly, and you all
YOUR CUSTOMER IS NOT
nod at my saged
knowingness.
AN ALGORITHM

14. THREE
ONE-ACT
PLAYS

15. CANONICAL.
THE DUPLICATE CONTENT
TOILET BOWL OF DEATH.
nooooooooo...

16. CANONICAL.
EACH INFORMATION CHUNK
HAS ONE UNIQUE ADDRESS.

17. 1 relative link
<a href = “~/link.aspx”>!

18. 50 categories
shoes/link.aspx!
dresses/link.aspx!
clothing/link.aspx!
shoes/dresses/clothing/link.aspx!
!
!

19. OR
<a href = “~”>!

20. MIX WELL…

21. HILARITYENSUES
<a href = “~”>!

22. /en-­‐us/
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23. /en-­‐us/
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/en-­‐US/~/~/~/link.aspx?_id=6F0F84644AC94212ACA891D5AE1868C9&_z=z
Zooming out…
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24. /en-­‐us/
/en-­‐US/US-­‐Distribu/on
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25. NAVIGATION ANALYTICS

26. HOW DO I KNOW IF
THEY CLICKED THIS?
OR THIS?

27. <a href = “/foo.html?nav=top”>!

28. how may i help?

29. i r googles. where
content be?

30. /foo.html?nav=top!
/foo.html?nav=left!
no, wait. where are
duh pages?

31. /foo.html?nav=tophome!
/foo.html?nav=lefthome
!
<a href = “~”>!
gurgle...

32. CRAWL BUDGET

33. LOST AUTHORITY

34. GENERAL
HIGGLDEY
PIGGLEDY

35. LOTSA OPTIONS

36. /foo.html#nav=tophome!
/foo.html#nav=lefthome!

37. baby-bath/-/N-5xtjj#?
lnk=gnav_baby_3_7&intc=736562!

38. CRAZYEGG.COM

42. GOOGLE ANALYTICS
EVENT TRACKING

43. GOOGLE ANALYTICS
IN-PAGE ANALYSIS

44. GOOGLE ANALYTICS
IN-PAGE ANALYSIS

45. GOOGLE ANALYTICS
IN-PAGE ANALYSIS

46. REL = CANONICAL

47. REL = CANONICAL

48. REL = CANONICAL

49. REL = CANONICAL

50. REL = CANONICAL

51. CANONICAL.
EACH INFORMATION CHUNK
HAS ONE UNIQUE ADDRESS.

52. FINDABLE.
THE ISLAND OF
MISFIT CHUNKS
nobody wants a
charlie in the
box...

53. FINDABLE.
ALL INTENDED INFORMATION
CONSUMERS CAN NAVIGATE
TO AND READ EVERY CHUNK.

54. SHITSEOSSAY

55. We need to flatten your site.

56. We should hide this content
from Google by adding an
iframe with a nofollowed
directory and robots.txt set to
disallow the boornigarneiz so
we can exagenate the
frendiges algorithm thereby
achieving foobinberry!

57. THE RESULT

62. SHIT‘WEB’DESIGNERSSAY

63. Too many words on the page.

64. ….

65. HYPER
TEXT
MARKUP LANGUAGE

66. THE RESULT

69. OR

70. BARF

71. We need to hide some content,
to prevent duplication, y’know,
for SEO and stuff.

73. GOOGLE CAN’T FIND
THIS STRUCTURE

74. THE RATIONAL SURFER

75. Who’s going to click here?!

76. THE 90-SECOND PAGE LOAD

77. THE NIFTY well, fiddlesticks. I
never knew that was
SURPRISE there.
CONTENT

78. IMPROPER CLASSIFICATION

81. GRATZ!

82. THE FIX

84. DESIGN FOR CONTENT

85. typekit

87. COMPROMISE

88. 100% CLICKABILITY

89. FINDABLE.
ALL INTENDED INFORMATION
CONSUMERS CAN NAVIGATE
TO AND READ EVERY CHUNK.

90. SIGNIFICANT.
EXPLODING MENU SYNDROME.

91. SIGNIFICANT.
BRING CLARITY AND
PRIORITY, REVEALING
CHUNKS WHEN NEEDED.

92. JUST SHIT

93. MY STORY

94. Drop downs go bye-bye

95. WE NEED THE DORP
DOWNZ!!!!!!

96. Eggs Milk Butter

97. Eggs Milk Butter
Ostrich Yak
Chicken Cow
Duck Wildebeest
Goose Giraffe
Platypus of Magnesia
-y substances

98. Eggs Milk Butter
Ostrich
Chicken
Duck Large
Goose Small
Platypus Angry
Friendly
Perry

99. Eggs Milk Butter
Ostrich
Chicken
Duck Large
Goose Small Disguised
Platypus Angry Not disguised
Friendly Fake
Perry Curse you

100. MENU = 162 LINKS

101. MENU = 162 LINKS
1,600 LINES OF CODE

102. MENU = 162 LINKS
1,600 LINES OF CODE
1-SECOND RENDER TIME

103. MENU = 162 LINKS
1,600 LINES OF CODE
1-SECOND RENDER TIME
65% PAGERANK LOSS

104. MENU = 162 LINKS
1,600 LINES OF CODE
1-SECOND RENDER TIME
65% PAGERANK LOSS
TOTAL USER CONFUSION

105. Eggs Milk Butter
Ostrich
Chicken
Duck Large
Goose Small Disguised
Platypus Angry Not disguised
Friendly Fake
Perry Curse you

106. No drop downs
Drop downs

107. No drop downs
Drop downs

108. No drop downs
Drop downs

109. Lost rankings: 50 keywords

110. Lost rankings: 50 keywords
Lost revenue: $1,200,000

111. YOU SURE SHOWED ME

112. THE FIX

113. DON’T BE A

114. NO ONE WANTS ACCESS TO
EVERYTHING, ALL THE TIME.

115. Eggs Milk Butter

116. Eggs Milk Butter
Ostrich
Chicken
Duck
Goose
Platypus

117. Eggs Milk Butter
Ostrich
Chicken
Duck
Goose
Platypus
Large
Small
Angry
Friendly
Perry

118. SIGNIFICANT.
BRING CLARITY AND
PRIORITY, REVEALING
CHUNKS WHEN NEEDED.

119. USE YOUR

120. THREE
ONE-ACT
PLAYS

121. IAN’S HANDY-DANDY HEURISTIC
FOR IA & SEO HARMONY
CANONICAL
FINDABLE
SIGNIFICANT

122. COMMENCE HECKLING
@PORTENTINT
IAN@PORTENT.COM
WWW.PORTENT.COM/BLOG
PORTENT.CO/seofolly