Fight the blah blah blahs. Write and create content that evokes an emotional response, whether you're selling or content marketing. My presentation from Pubcon 2016

1. @portentint
Emotional Content
Presented by: Ian Lurie
@portentint

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Me
CEO, Portent (Seattle)
Idealistic marketing cynic
Captain Asphalt Award Winner
@portentint

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You know about headlines,
power words, stop words,
colors and emotions, and
all the other stuff.

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Time to level up
with copy that
evokes a response

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These are things to try. Not things you must do.

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Mix and match.

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Does this work?

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How’s a
Yeah,
I’m smug
20% conversion rate improvement?

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How’s a
Yeah,
I’m smug
2x funnel completion rate?

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how ya like me
now!!!???

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Appeal to basic emotional states
i’m funny

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And their subtexts
Bleep
i’m
embarrassed

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Anger
Those idiots frakked it up

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Betrayal!
Deception!
!

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Surprise
What the frak is that?!!!

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A secret!
A story that doesn’t end the way it started

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Disgust
That is frakking nasty

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At behavior!
At taste!
At smell!
At a situation

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Happiness
That is the greatest frakking thing ever!!!

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Humor!
Sentimental!
Pride!
Success!
Joy

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Fear
I’m going to frak this up

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Loss!
Failure!
Mistakes!
Guilt!
Catastrophe

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Sadness
All around me are
familiar frakking faces

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Loss!
Guilt!
Nostalgia

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Evoke a strong response
ok, maybe not
that strong

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Narrate, don’t dictate
stories really do work

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Technique 1
From mystery to CTA

28. When I was in law school, working in a
bicycle shop, I became a marketer
Start with a hook

29. I saw the boulder coming up at !
me and I knew I was screwed
Start with a hook

30. There was a thud, a loud crack!
and I saw stars
Walk the reader forward

31. Then I realized I was still conscious
Name the benefit

32. And unhurt
Name the benefit

33. My helmet saved me
Explain why

34. Wear your helmet
Make the CTA

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Technique 2
Benefit to CTA

36. I save 12 hours per month
Benefit

37. Use Zapier, and you can too
CTA

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Technique 3
Start with mystery

39. It was the most important flat I ever fixed
Huh?

40. I was pedaling through Portugal
Hmmm…

41. A woman had a flat tire
Oh, I see where this is going

42. I fixed it in a few minutes
Nice!

43. We’ve been married for 18 years
Awwww

44. Take Frank’s Bike Mechanic Certification
WTF?!!!!

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Evoke emotion
Don’t emote

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We are delighted to offer you our new,
sleek bicycle helmet, the HH1
How nice for you

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The new, sleek HH1.
Ooooh

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Use active voice

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Foothair was invented by Bilbo Baggins

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Bilbo Baggins invented foothair.

51. Hemingwayapp

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Use adjectives for
information
not punctuation

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An exciting offer
Bad

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A limited-time offer
Good

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…a fantastic inner tube...
Bad

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…a thorn-proof inner tube...
Good

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…a sleek sports car...
Good

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…a sleek file cabinet...
Really?

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Try present tense
to help me ‘see’ the result

60. You’re sitting in your office
OK

61. A seagull sits outside your !
window croaking
Uh…

62. “Give me a status update”
WTF?!!!!

63. “Why aren’t we ranking #1?”!
“It’s just Wikipedia”
WTF?!!!!

64. “RFP! RFP!”!
“It’s not you, it’s us”
WTF?!!!!

65. Then you jerk awake in a cold sweat
WTF?!!!!

66. You’re sitting in your office
Again?!

67. Basking in the glow of a happy client
Oh!

68. You just showed them their amazing ROI
Oh!

69. By using Smurf Tracking Software
Er…

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Tell me what it’s like
to reap the rewards of your product

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Keep your noggin safe & cool

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Get up and running in minutes!
!
Enjoy a fast Internet connection
anywhere in your house

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Get up and running in minutes!
!
Enjoy a fast Internet connection
anywhere in your house

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Scare me
fear of loss is a powerful motivator

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In 10 hours, this deal is gone

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Don’t miss out

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Your whole family. Dead.
Over the top

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What happened to Fido shouldn’t happen
to any dog. The shame of flea mange.
OK

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Make me special

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Get 10% off!
Don’t discount

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Get 10% more!
Bonus

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As a member, you’ll receive…
Make me part of the club

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Tell me I’m awesome
I love it

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Your new app is amazing. Time to launch.

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Don’t overuse clickabait
It gets old fast

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56 Ways I’ve Seen This Type of Headline Before

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use our
middleware

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Piss me off
if you want me to take action

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I’ve got a secret other marketers !
don’t want me to tell you
What?!!! Those bastards!!!

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Did you have to pay for that colonoscopy?!
Your insurance company should have
Ewwwww

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Reassure me
with a promise

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If it doesn’t work, tough shitskies.
Not OK

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All sales final. No refunds.
If you must

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Sometimes, things just don’t work as
planned. If that happens, contact us for
support and, if necessary, a refund.
If you must

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“All sales final. No refunds.”
If you must

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When you’re done, you’ll feel stronger
OK

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Try this. You’ll sell more stuff.
OK

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Visuals

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Design
Don’t decorate

100. Use more babies!
Women like babies and other feminine icons

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Visuals describe
They don’t separate, break up or decorate

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Careful with those stock photos

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Careful with those stock photos
this car is
great!
I know! I
feel fit. and
attractive.

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Careful with those stock photos

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You might…

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End up…

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Regretting them

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Loosen up
your layout is constipated

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Colors
mean many things

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I am sophisticated

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What does that meeeaaaannnnnn…

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Excitement

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Imminent catastrophe

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Go. Harmony. Nature.

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Vomit

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There are no
best practices
when it comes to emotional response

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Test to verify
not to plan

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Pick an emotion
and evoke it

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Commence Heckling
Ian Lurie
@portentint
www.portent.com
http://portent.co/blah-blahs