A cautionary tale for designers inspired by the bad usability calendar.

1. Bad, bad usability! horrible things happen to bad designers

2. A is for Albert who chose the wrong form for his content run into the Spanish Inquisition and expired, after some torment

3. B is for Bertha who tried to add value through personalisation went to Tajikistan on vacation and died of starvation

4. C is for Charles who hid novel choices in a drop-down and was murdered by a clown in a small town

5. D is for Derek who didn’t use video to support the user’s task, went off scuba diving and forgot his oxygen mask

6. E is for Edwina for everything required a log-in and contracted a deadly herpes after a bit of snogging

7. F is for Fernando who designed usable and boring, the poor man was splattered in spite of much imploring

8. G is Georgie who thought smaller was easier to click hired a plane for a week, couldn’t find the control stick

9. H is for Helena who believed more navigation was easy to use she went to Oliver’s party and died of carnal abuse

10. I is for Ignatius who copied every fancy web 2.0 feature and was strangled by his French teacher

11. J is for Josephine who evangelised oversharing and was swallowed by a big herring

12. K is for Katarina who always cloned Facebook, she traveled to Irak, just to have a look

13. beware

14. and

15. beware!