This document discusses strategies for improving sentence fluency. It defines sentence fluency as arranging sentences to have a smooth flow when read aloud. The strategies covered are: 1) Vary sentence beginnings by using different parts of speech and phrases to start sentences. 2) Combine sentences using compound and complex structures to improve flow. 3) Use a variety of sentence lengths, including short punchy sentences. The document provides examples to illustrate each strategy and encourages readers to practice the techniques when revising their own writing.
1. Sentence
Fluency
How to make those sentences
roll like a smooth-flowing
river.
2. What is sentence fluency?
Sentence structure, also known as syntax, is how a sentence
is put together, or the arrangement of the words.
Sentence fluency then, is arranging your sentences to have a
smooth flow; they should read well aloud. In fact, that’s the
best way to check sentence fluency. If you can, read aloud the
examples in this presentation to hear how well sentences do or
do not flow.
Sentence fluency goes hand in hand with word choice, as
you will see in some of the following examples. Better word
choice makes for better sentences; look for changes in word
choice as you read improved examples.
3. What to expect. . .
This presentation will take you through four
strategies for improving sentence fluency:
1. Vary sentence beginnings.
2. Combine sentences.
3. Use a variety of sentence
lengths.
4. Use parallel structure.
4. Strategy 1
Vary sentence beginnings.
Try not to have too many sentences
start the same way. It becomes
choppy and boring to read.
5. Strategy 1: Varying
For example, read this repetitive sentence
construction:
I woke up feeling awful. I was groggy and I
felt like I had swallowed gravel, my throat was
so sore. I felt a dull ache all over my whole
body. I heard my mom call, but I really didn’t
want to crawl out of bed and face the day.
Notice how all the sentence begin with “I”? In fact,
there are too many “I’s” throughout this example,
even within the sentences!
6. Strategy 1: Varying
Now let’s look at revised version that varies the
sentence beginnings:
When I woke up, a dull ache wracked my whole body
and I felt quite groggy. My throat was so sore, it felt
like I had swallowed gravel. I heard my mom call, but
crawling out of bed and facing the day was more than
I could handle.
One sentence still begins with “I,” but the rest have been
changed. Reads better, doesn’t it? In addition to rearranging
sentences, some have been combined and new has been
wording added. The word “terrible” was eliminated altogether,
as the rest of the piece shows the idea of feeling terrible. Try
these strategies when you revise!
7. Strategy 1: Varying
The basic sentence structure is
subject + verb + object
For example:
Sandra + swam + in the polluted river.
Danilo + thought + today would be different.
Apples + bruise + when they fall to the ground.
You at least need a subject and a verb for a
complete sentence (in most cases): Sandra swam. Danilo
thought. Apples bruise. Some types of verbs, called transitive
verbs, do need objects, such as in the following:
The committee + named + a new chairperson.
8. Strategy 1: Varying
But you don’t always have to start with your
subject (the main noun of your sentence). Here
are some other ways to start a sentence:
a. Begin with adjectives:
-ed Frazzled and worried, the mother searched
for her missing child.
-en Frozen for thousands of years, the corpse was
barely recognizable.
-* Black and fuzzy, pandas appeal to everyone.
The above and following information is taken from:
“Varied Sentence Beginnings.” 2006. Okemos Public Schools. Nov. 29, 2006.
<http://okemos.k12.mi.us/users/chipp/Academics/Bloc4/Varied%20Sentences.htm>.
9. Strategy 1: varying
b. Begin with adverbs, clauses, and phrases:
-ly Wearily, the soldiers marched forward in the snow.
-ing Humming softly to herself, the trainer fed the
elephants.
-* When finished with the plants, the giraffe munched on
the trees.
What is an adverb?
An adverb describes a verb. Since a verb is an action (what
did she do?), the adverb describes the nature of that action
(how did she do it?).
What did she do? She threw the ball. (verb = threw)
How did she do it? She forcefully threw the ball. (adverb =
forecefully)
10. Strategy 1: varying
c. Begin with a prepositional phrase:
In my backyard, many squirrels linger.
Around the corner lives a most eccentric old man.
At the mall yesterday, we found the best deals.
What’s a preposition?
A preposition shows relationships between items.
Think of the question where can an ant go? It can
walk on the table, under the picnic blanket, inside
the walls, through the grass, etc. All of the
underlined words show the relationship of the ant
to the objects listed.
11. Strategy 1: varying
c. List of prepositional phrases:
aboard below excepting opposite under
about beneath excluding outside underneath
above beside following over unlike
across besides for past until
after between From per up
against beyond in plus upon
along but inside regarding versus
amid by into round via
among concerning like save with
anti considering minus since within
around despite near than without
as down of through
at during off to
before except on toward
behind onto towards
12. Strategy 1: Varying
d. Begin with a gerund:
-ing Living in the desert has always intrigued me.
Playing soccer is the love of my life.
Skating is an activity I would like to try.
What is a gerund?
A gerund is simply a verb acting as a noun.
They act as the subject or object of a sentence.
They always end in “ing.”
13. Strategy 1: Varying
e. Begin with an infinitive phrase:
To- To have friends, you must be a friend.
What is an infinitive phrase?
It is simply a phrase that begin with “to” plus a verb. The
infinite of a verb, as you may know from studying a foreign
language, is just the base form of a verb, no changes.
Example:
infinitive: bounce
past tense: bounced
present participle: bouncing
14. Strategy 1: Varying
f. Begin with conjunctions:
Because of the unusual circumstances, the court dismissed
the case.
Although I can’t attend, I do appreciate the invitation.
After the parade, the club will stay to pick up trash.
What is a conjunction?
A conjunction links words, phrases and
clauses.
15. Strategy 1: Varying
f. Begin with conjunctions:
Coordinating Conjunctions (there are seven):
and or but nor so for yet
Subordinating Conjunctions (these are only a few):
after although as as if as long as
because before even if if even though
once provided since so that that
though till unless until what
when whenever wherever whether while
16. Strategy 1: Varying
Let’s finish up the first strategy with a few examples:
POOR
The puppy squirmed with glee as his new owner wrestled with him. The
puppy rolled like tumbleweed across the carpet. He slipped through the
boy’s fingers. He shot across the living room and then the puppy grabbed a
stray sock. The puppy then hid under the coffee table. He gnawed on the
cotton. He chewed on it unil it was a slimy pulp. The boy was upset at his
puppy for destroying his dad’s sock. He couldn’t stay angry at the cute
puppy.
BETTER
Rolling like a tumbleweed across the carpet, the puppy squirmed with glee
as his new owner wrestled with him. He slipped through the boy’s fingers,
and grabbing a stray sock along the way, shot across the living room to hide
under the coffee table and contentedly gnaw on the cotton until it was a
slimy pulp. Although upset over the destruction of his dad’s sock, the boy
found it difficult to stay angry at the cute face peering out at him.
17. Strategy 1: Varying
In this final one, only a good example is given. Pay
attention to the construction of the sentences
as you read.
The smell of snow, and of something less tangible, carried beyond my
nostrils to fill my whole body as I hiked on. Around me, the ebb and flow of
the snowy forest carried on in one of its most beautiful displays: snow
falling off the trees as the sun warmed and a light breeze blew.
Occasionally, a large snowball would dive out of the branches with a
whump! But mostly the snow fell as a delicate mist of tiny, shimmering
rainbows dancing through beams of sunlight – glittering blues, winking
pinks, starry whites. Several times I stood in the light shower, my face
upturned and eyes closed to let snowflakes settle on my eyelashes. The tree
braches, when parted from their snow, always waved a gentle goodbye, as if
this is the way of things – a serene acceptance of the beautiful movements
of nature.
18. Strategy 2
Combine sentences.
Improve the flow of a piece by finding
logical and creative ways to link
sentences.
19. Strategy 2: Combining
Simple sentences have just the basic subject,
verb and maybe an object.
Example:
The peanut lodged in his nostril.
(subject) (verb) (object)
Simple sentences are fine, but too many in a row
become choppy to read. You can create compound
and complex sentences to help show how ideas relate
to one another. Sprinkling these in with shorter
simple sentences will improve the overall flow.
20. Strategy 2: Combining
A compound sentence takes two complete
sentences and connects them with a connector
word (called a coordinating conjunction), such
as “and,” “or,” and “but.”
Two simple sentences:
I joined a gym last month. I never make the
time to go.
One compound sentence:
I joined a gym last month, but I never make
the time to go.
21. Strategy 2: Combining
A complex sentence has one complete sentence (called
an independent clause) and another part that is not a
complete sentence (called, not surprisingly, a dependent
clause). Two simple sentences can be turned in a complex
sentence with the addition of a subordinating conjunction.
Two simple sentences:
I joined a gym last month. I never make the
time to go.
One compound sentence:
Although I joined a gym last month, I never
make the time to go.
22. Strategy 2: Combinging
Although I joined a gym last month, I never
make the time to go.
See how in this sentence, the part after the comma
can stand alone, but the first part of the sentence
cannot?
Complete sentence: I joined a gym last month.
Complete sentence: I never make time to go.
NOT a complete sentence: Although I joined a gym
last month. (The word “although,” the subordinating
conjunction, sets up the idea for more information, which is
needed.)
23. Strategy 2: Combinging
Because he was trained to be aggressive,
the dog bit me.
Independent clause: A complete sentence that can
stand alone. It is independent.
Example: The dog bit me.
Dependent clause (also a subordinating conjunction):
A phrase that cannot stand alone. It is dependent on
something else.
Example: Because he was trained to be aggressive.
NOTE: The addition of the subordinating conjunction MAKES it
dependent. Without the word “because,” the sentence is fine: He was
trained to be aggressive.
24. Strategy 2: Combinging
If the idea of subordinating conjunctions sounds too
technical, don’t worry. Just remember that they are
words that require two parts for a complete idea –
they show relationships between ideas.
Here’s a list of some of the most common subordinating conjunctions:
after if till
although once until
as since when
because than where
before that whether
how though while
25. Strategy 2: Combining
Here are some examples of complex sentences using
subordinating conjunctions:
After spilling coffee on his rented tux, Keiran decided to be
more careful.
Until she saw the flying hippo herself, Dr. Grossbeak would not
believe any of the reports.
Whether you plan to drive in the snow or not, it’s a good idea to
carry chains.
As the they spilled out the front doors of the school, the
graduating seniors felt a sense of accomplishment and
apprehension.
Because he had nothing better to do, Fido buried his master’s
shoe in the garden.
26. Strategy 2: Combining
Now let’s look at some sentence combining:
Original (Simple sentences):
Mr. T has a large mohawk. He also wears ample gold
chains. Some people say his tough guy image is just
an act.
Revised 1 (compound sentence):
Mr. T has a large mohawk and wears ample gold
chains, but some people say his tough guy image is
just an act.
Revised 2 (complex sentence):
Although Mr. T has a large mohawk and wears ample gold
chains, some people say his tough guy image is just an act.
27. Strategy 2: Combining
Original:
The Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution is very controversial. It gives
citizens the right to bear arms. It was written at a time when the country had no
militia and had to fight England for its independence. Today we have a strong
military. Some people feel that the Second Amendment is no longer needed.
Revised 1:
The Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which gives citizens the right to
bear arms*, is very controversial. It was written at a time when the country had no
militia and had to fight England for its independence. Yet today we have a strong
military, so some people feel that the Second Amendment is no longer needed.
*Note how the second sentence in the original is now embedded within the first sentence.
Revised 2 (complex sentence):
The controversial** Second Amendment of the U.S. Constitution, which gives
citizens the right to bear arms, was written at a time when the country had no
militia and had to fight England for its independence. However, since today we have
a strong military, some people feel that the Second Amendment is no longer needed.
**Note how the third sentence in the original has been reduced to just an adjective.
28. Strategy 2: Combining
Some people have learned to make complex sentences, but
forget the variety. Too many similar sentence structures in a
row, even if they are more complex than just subject + verb +
object, can make a reader weary. Here’s an example of this. If
you want, take a shot at revising for improved fluency!
Original:
As he looked around, Officer Gary noticed the mobsters approaching.
Although they didn’t see him in his cop car in the shadow of the
warehouse, he knew they would spot the car in just a few more steps.
Although nobody would come anyway, it was too late to call for back up.
As he thought about what to do, he began to sweat. At the moment they
were about to see the car, he turned the ignition, punched the
accelerator and headed straight for them.
Hear the problem? The sentence structure, while complex, is
also repetitive. Vary those sentences!
29. Strategy 2: Combining
Now you try! Write out your own sentence
combinations for the following passage (#13 on your
notes). You don’t have to keep the ideas in the same
order.
Original:
Denise held the ball lightly in her hands. She dribbled a few
times. She liked the sound of the ball hitting the concrete.
Denise began to run toward the basket. Her incessant
practice made her drive toward the basket seem more like a
glide. She lunged in the air and slam dunked the ball. She
did it with all the power and grace of many male basketball
players. There was no one in the deserted schoolyard to
applaud or gasp. It was just Denise and her motivation to
improve today.
30. Strategy 3
Use a variety of sentence
lengths.
Sprinkle in some short sentences that
pack a punch with your longer,
compound and complex sentences.
31. Strategy 3
Here’s an example of a writer using a variety of sentence
lengths to the advantage of her content:
As soon as “The Screamer” took off, I knew I had made a mistake in
letting my sister talk me into stepping on the yanking and writhing
monster seemingly designed by Satan himself. Every move the
roller coaster made terrified me: its violent, headache-inducing
bumps, gut-twisting lurches, and gravity-yanking drops, and for this
reason the ride seemed as if it would last for eternity. But it didn’t.
Just as I felt able to draw my first breath, the cars swooped in to the
loading area in order to expel us and lure in more victims. Suddenly,
inexplicably, I yearned for more. I turned to my sister with eager
eyes. “Let’s go again!”
Note how the longer sentences mimic the fast, breathless
movement of the roller coater, while the shorter sentences
emphasize changes or the more important points.
32. Strategy 3
Let’s look at it again, counting words in each sentence (#13
in your notes:
As soon as “The Screamer” took off, I knew I had made a mistake in
letting my sister talk me into stepping on the yanking and writhing
monster seemingly designed by Satan himself (a. __ words). Every
move the roller coaster made terrified me: its violent, headache-
inducing bumps, gut-twisting lurches, and gravity-yanking drops,
and for this reason the ride seemed as if it would last for eternity (b.
___ words). But it didn’t (c. ___ words). Just as I felt able to draw
my first breath, the cars swooped in to the loading area in order to
expel us and lure in more victims (d. ___ words). Suddenly,
inexplicably, I yearned for more (e. ___ words). I turned to my
sister with eager eyes (f. ___ words). “Let’s go again!” (g. __ words)
33. Strategy 3
Check your work:
As soon as “The Screamer” took off, I knew I had made a mistake in
letting my sister talk me into stepping on the yanking and writhing
monster seemingly designed by Satan himself (33 words). Every
move the roller coaster made terrified me: its violent, headache-
inducing bumps, gut-twisting lurches, and gravity-yanking drops,
and for this reason the ride seemed as if it would last for eternity (24
words). But it didn’t (3 words). Just as I felt able to draw my first
breath, the cars swooped in to the loading area in order to expel us
and lure in more victims (28 words). Suddenly, inexplicably, I
yearned for more (6 words). I turned to my sister with eager eyes
(8 words). “Let’s go again!” (3 words)
34. Strategy 3
Here’s another example, this one the opening to an essay I wrote many
years ago while living in Quito, Ecuador:
At 7:05 a.m., five minutes past the time I was supposed to be in the school
parking lot to meet with the Excursion Club for a climb up Guagua Pichincha,
the local volcano, I was on the phone trying to call a taxi. The line was busy. I
brushed my teeth and tried again. Still busy. I threw my hiking gear and extra
clothes into my backpack, put on my boots and called again. Busy.
Time for plan B. I would have to walk – scratch that – run to the bus and
take a cab from the Cumbaya stop. And run I did, arriving at the bus stop
breathing heavy and sweating in too many clothes. On a weekday around
seven, every other vehicle is a bus, packed to the roof with commuters and
spewing out a thick stream of black exhaust. But today, on a Saturday, I had to
wait for some time (in Quito bus life, “some time” is more than two minutes).
When one finally came along, it, too, was brimming with humanity. I grabbed
the bar on the outside and barely had a foot on the step, when the money-taker
guy yelled “Vaya!” to the driver. Go!
So that’s how I went, with two feet in the little space left on the first step,
one hand holding on to the outside of the bus and the other just inside the door,
trying to grasp onto something, and eventually being pinned to the wall by the
money taker’s butt. The rest of my body hung completely outside of the moving
bus; there was simply no room to go any further. Safe? Probably not. Fun?
Heck yeah!
35. Strategy 3
Here’s the same passage, with word counts for sentences. Notice the variety?
At 7:05 a.m., five minutes past the time I was supposed to be in the school
parking lot to meet with the Excursion Club for a climb up Guagua Pichincha, the
local volcano, I was on the phone trying to call a taxi (43 words). The line was
busy (4 words). I brushed my teeth and tried again (8 words). Still busy (2 words).
I threw my hiking gear and extra clothes into my backpack, put on my boots and
called again (18 words). Busy (1 word).
Time for plan B (4 words). I would have to walk – scratch that – run to the
bus and take a cab from the Cumbaya stop (19 words). And run I did, arriving at
the bus stop breathing heavy and sweating in too many clothes (17 words). On a
weekday around seven, every other vehicle is a bus, packed to the roof with
commuters and spewing out a thick stream of black exhaust (26 words). But today,
on a Saturday, I had to wait for some time (in Quito bus life, “some time” is more
than two minutes) (23 words). When one finally came along, it, too, was brimming
with humanity (11 words). I grabbed the bar on the outside and barely had a foot
on the step, when the money-taker guy yelled “Vaya!” to the driver (17 words).
Go! (1 word)
So that’s how I went, with two feet in the little space left on the first step, one
hand holding on to the outside of the bus and the other just inside the door, trying to
grasp onto something, and eventually being pinned to the wall by the money taker’s
butt (51 words). The rest of my body hung completely outside of the moving bus;
there was simply no room to go any further (21 words) . Safe? (1 word) Probably
not (2 words). Fun? (1 word) Heck yeah! (2 words)
36. Strategy 3
“But that is creative writing,” you might be saying. “I’m writing a more
formal essay.” You can still use sentence variety! Here’s an excerpt from a
college newspaper article I wrote on the history of the Fourth of July. (No, I
don’t love my work so much that I can’t stop sharing it with you; I’m
just trying to avoid violating copyright laws by using my own material as
examples rather than the work of others.)
Our forefathers were very proud of their work; they bravely declared their
independence - the words of freedom ringing in their ears. After eight years of war, that
freedom was finally recognized. But not everyone in America had their independence – not
by a long shot.
Look at history. What was the Fourth of July to African-Americans, first enslaved and
then discriminated against; to Native Americans, relocated and watching while the plentiful
land was stripped; to women, fighting for equal rights and recognition; to Japanese-
Americans, thrown in internment camps because of distrust; or to the countless others who
have lived in this country, under the Declaration of Independence only to be denied of its
freedoms? What did they have to celebrate?
Frederick Douglas helps fill out our perspective with this view on the Fourth of July:
"[A] day that reveals the gross injustice to which [a slave] is the constant victim. To him
your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty an unholy license..."
Have we as a nation improved? Have we overcome the hypocrisy of our forefathers to
make the Declaration of Independence universal in its implementation? Sadly, no, according
author Laura B. Randolph, who writes, "On the Fourth of July ... take a quite moment to
reflect on just how much things have changed - and just how much they have stayed the
same."
37. Strategy 3
And finally, the same excerpt with word counts:
Our forefathers were very proud of their work; they bravely declared their
independence - the words of freedom ringing in their ears (21 words). After eight
years of war, that freedom was finally recognized (10 words) . But not everyone in
America had their independence – not by a long shot (13 words) .
Look at history (3 words). What was the Fourth of July to African-Americans,
first enslaved and then discriminated against; to Native Americans, relocated and
watching while the plentiful land was stripped; to women, fighting for equal rights
and recognition; to Japanese-Americans, thrown in internment camps because of
distrust; or to the countless others who have lived in this country, under the
Declaration of Independence only to be denied of its freedoms? (68 words) What
did they have to celebrate? (6 words)
Frederick Douglas helps fill out our perspective with this view on the Fourth
of July: "[A] day that reveals the gross injustice to which [a slave] is the constant
victim (30 words) . To him your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty an
unholy license...“(13 words)
Have we as a nation improved? (6 words) Have we overcome the hypocrisy of
our forefathers to make the Declaration of Independence universal in its
implementation? (18 words) Sadly, no, according author Laura B. Randolph, who
writes, "On the Fourth of July ... take a quite moment to reflect on just how much
things have changed - and just how much they have stayed the same.“(36 words)
38. Strategy 4
Use parallel structure.
If you use a repeated pattern in a sentence
(a highly effective technique), make sure
whatever you repeat is grammatically
consistent.
39. Strategy 4 – Parallel Structure
What is parallel structure?
Simply put, it’s making sure that all parts
of your sentence are grammatically
consistent. They should jive.
Parallel: I like to go hiking, camping and cross-country
skiing.
Not Parallel: I like to go hiking, camping and to cross-
country ski.
The second sentence is inconsistent and doesn’t
work.
40. Strategy 4
Parallelism can do so much more for a piece, however. A writer
Can repeat a word or phrase in a sentence, or within a series of
sentences to help emphasize his or her message.
Here’s an example:
"We are a people in a quandary about the present.
We are a people in search of our future. We are a
people in search of a national community."
-- Barbara Jordan, 1976 Democratic
Convention Keynote Address
41. Strategy 4
The next example comes from Martin Luther King, Jr.’s “Letter
from a Birmingham Jail.”
I’m sure most of you know and respect Dr. King for his bold
and inspiring leadership during the Civil Rights Movement. In
addition to being a stirring speaker, he was a brilliant writer.
You may be tempted to skim over the next page due to it’s
length. Don’t. Read it all – it’s excellent, knock-out
Writing that you need to see.
(As you read, remember that “lynch” means to hang.)
42. Strategy 4 – Parallel Structure
We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God-given rights. The nations of Asia and
Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward gaining political independence, but we stiff creep at horse-and-
buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt
the stinging dark of segregation to say, "Wait." But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers
and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen
curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty
million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when you
suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-old
daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and see
tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous
clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her
personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an
answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: "Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?";
when you take a cross-county drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable
corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out by
nagging signs reading "white" and "colored"; when your first name becomes "nigger," your middle name
becomes "boy" (however old you are) and your last name becomes "John," and your wife and mother are
never given the respected title "Mrs."; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that you
are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued with
inner fears and outer resentments; when you no forever fighting a degenerating sense of "nobodiness"
then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance
runs over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope, sirs, you can
understand our legitimate and unavoidable impatience.
43. Strategy 4
The next slide is the same passage, but
this time I have bolded and underlined
the repeated structures in the sentence.
Look at King’s use of the pattern – the
repeated phrase – as it builds up to his
strong point.
44. Strategy 4 – Parallel Structure
We have waited for more than 340 years for our constitutional and God-given rights. The nations of Asia and
Africa are moving with jetlike speed toward gaining political independence, but we stiff creep at horse-and-
buggy pace toward gaining a cup of coffee at a lunch counter. Perhaps it is easy for those who have never felt
the stinging dark of segregation to say, "Wait." But when you have seen vicious mobs lynch your mothers
and fathers at will and drown your sisters and brothers at whim; when you have seen hate-filled policemen
curse, kick and even kill your black brothers and sisters; when you see the vast majority of your twenty
million Negro brothers smothering in an airtight cage of poverty in the midst of an affluent society; when
you suddenly find your tongue twisted and your speech stammering as you seek to explain to your six-year-
Old daughter why she can't go to the public amusement park that has just been advertised on television, and
see tears welling up in her eyes when she is told that Funtown is closed to colored children, and see ominous
clouds of inferiority beginning to form in her little mental sky, and see her beginning to distort her
personality by developing an unconscious bitterness toward white people; when you have to concoct an
answer for a five-year-old son who is asking: "Daddy, why do white people treat colored people so mean?";
when you take a cross-county drive and find it necessary to sleep night after night in the uncomfortable
corners of your automobile because no motel will accept you; when you are humiliated day in and day out
By nagging signs reading "white" and "colored"; when your first name becomes "nigger," your middle name
becomes "boy" (however old you are) and your last name becomes "John," and your wife and mother are
never given the respected title "Mrs."; when you are harried by day and haunted by night by the fact that
You are a Negro, living constantly at tiptoe stance, never quite knowing what to expect next, and are plagued
with inner fears and outer resentments; when you are forever fighting a degenerating sense of "nobodiness,“
then you will understand why we find it difficult to wait. There comes a time when the cup of endurance runs
over, and men are no longer willing to be plunged into the abyss of despair. I hope, sirs, you can understand
our legitimate and unavoidable impatience.
45. Some final tips
Avoid starting sentences with conversational slang, such as
“well” and “so,” especially in formal writing.
Always read a paper aloud to help check for flow and fluency.
Remember to stop at periods and pause at commas; if you’re
not reading the sentences as written, they won’t sound too good
out loud.
Speaking of punctuation, if knowing where to place commas,
periods and semi-colons is a problem for you, make sure to get
some help on this. Improper punctuation can really run
interference with your fluency. As a simple rule, though, if
when you read, you hear a natural pause, that’s a place for a
comma. If you hear a natural stop, that’s where your period
should go. Read this page aloud to test this advice.