A monologue (with Daleks) in the style of the Welcome to Night Vale podcast, an irreverent critique of Integrated Library Systems. Presented at the Access conference in Toronto, Ontario, September 8-11, 2015. Recording of the presentation: https://youtu.be/HlOXgrFuvkM Transcript: http://bit.ly/accessdaleks

1. Notice
1. Everything I say is my own personal opinion.
2. This is a work of fiction. Any allusion to real library products (living or
dead), events or practices is purely intentional.
3. This session’s information entropy has been estimated at H = -0.6. This
means you will probably walk out of this session knowing less than you
do now. You’re welcome.
4. By reading the statements above, you have agreed to transfer ownership and distribution
rights of all your thoughts about this session to me. Yes, even your shocked reaction to
this very sentence. These thoughts may be licensed back to you for the purposes of
reflecting on the crushing weight of reality on your fragile illusions , tweeting, or plotting
revenge, for a very reasonable fee (see item 2 above).
5. Don’t take any of this too seriously. Obviously.

2. DIS INTE GRATEa monologue
by & with Thomas Guignard
@timtomch
tom@timtom.ca
in the style of the “Welcome to Nightvale” podcast.
(sorry, Cecil)
bestowed upon the innocent audience at
#AccessYYZ – Toronto, September 9, 2015
(with Daleks)

12. Inspiration:
“Welcome to Nightvale” podcast: https://commonplacebooks.squarespace.com/
Music:
“The Ballad of Fiedler and Mundt” (excerpt) by Disparition: http://www.disparition.info/ - used with permission.
With help from the “Cecil Speaks” podcast transcripts: http://cecilspeaks.tumblr.com/
(sorry!)